I'm currently working on a book right now, and I need s

I like it but I'd work on the phrasing a bit, could be smoothed out.

>>353619
Could you give an example?

here's an edit

There were many different sounds that went on throughout one’s house, but hoot(italics or in '') is not a common one. That sound becomes quite annoying when repeated constantly. So much so that it would wake one up from a pleasant dream about what lies beyond the crow's mask. She briefly decided to ignore it, but then sat up to find the disturbance.

establish the scene first.
organize details describing her appearance into one paragraph.

also
>He did nothing except pick at its feet.
>He did nothing except pick at his feet.
and you can probably combine this with the previous sentence.

try to include more of her inner thoughts throughout the story.
like what she thinks of alan, around the last paragraph
and what she thinks they may have found, which can foreshadow something in the near future.

If you want to add comments to it, here's a link
\https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-nH5VMGwTP_B7_IEELpWgbgT-UCOM_WKuS37xzE1TZw/edit?usp=sharing