Can anyone teach me some basic German? I'm visiting my nan

Sure but it's would be less difficult if you could talk

>>351889
If you want to impress a cute girl, say "Deine Brust ist so flach wie der Bodensee!".
If you want to impress an older man, say "Ich hoffe sie verrecken an Darmdurchbruch!".
For a grandma I'd use "Deine Tochter ist genauso heiß wie du.".

>>352087
Ach komm der arme bube

>>351889
You can't impress her with a few random lines, you impress her with effort. Preferably also being able to pronounce the sentences without completely butchering them.

But look up a german travel guide or something, they should have cheap and more pratical lines along with helping you with pronunciation.
Alt. google "german travel guide language"

>>352087
Be respectful to your grandma! Please use the polite form "Sie" instead of "du" please.

File: 58eaba530b.png (182KB, 487x689px) Image search: [Google]

182KB, 487x689px

>>352087
>"Deine Brust ist so flach wie der Bodensee!".
Lachte

>>352087
"Bitte würdest Du heftig meinen Popo streicheln".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAYiHp9QUwE

>>351889
ich nicht Deutsch sprechen
i don't speak german

>>351889
Ich möchte meine Kugelschreiber in Deine Arsch stecken.

A classic.

Learn Dutch, then you know basic German
Mein Deutch ist verschiklich, aber es ist ein bitchen gut nichtwaar

du bist scheisse