Monkeys Paw time You know the rules, or if you're stupid

I wish we could see Mimikyu true form.

>>33170764
It's an edgy pikachu

>>33170764
you are immediately killed by it

i wish news would drop

Following Pokemon in the Switch game

I wish to have consensual sexual intercourse with a female lopunny, successfully impregnating her.

>>33170784
It was all a dream anon.

>>33170782
It did and US/UM won't have any truly new content.

>>33170783
its actually YOU who is following the pokemon

i wish this shiny mawile hatched with perfect IVs and great nature, hyper cutter and had NOTHING wrong with it

>>33170794
>It's a male

>>33170794
Mawile is confirmed to have its mega nerfed on US/UM.

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>>33170800

I wish that pokemon was real

>>33170813
Their all out for blood. Even majikarp

>>33170813
but you develop terminal cancer

I wish that I could design Pokemon for Gamefreak

>>33170813
they are and we are all immediately slaughtered by them

i wish masuda would stop posting that stupid fucking face

I wish for the next gen to have less focus on story and more on gameplay.

>>33170783
Pokemon will follow you in the switch game, but not all of them. Only Pikachu, Lucario, and Charizard are eligible.

>>33170784
You are arrested on a use charges, the Loppunny is put down afterwards.

>>33170794
Mawile hatches perfect, shiny, has the best possible nature, hyper cutter, and even some great egg moves. But your data gets corrupted and you lose your entire save file.

>>33170813
Sure, they exist now. But they are all incredibly aggressive and hostile to most humans, and especially to you.

>>33170826
next gen is literally just pong with a pokeball

i wish landorus-t never existed

>>33170823
he does because he ends up terribly disfigured in a freak accident
I wish people would stop masturbating to pokemon

>>33170842
They do, but all swapped to real zoophilia and bestiality now.

I wish Gen 7 was completely different!

>>33170838
It never did, but in replacement an incredibly bulky water genie with acess to recover, scald and pebbles showed up in his place.

>>33170855
it is different but it now sucks in different ways

i wish PSS was back

>>33170865
It's back but only as a monthly subscription payment

I wish Game Freak made games as good as Gen V again

I wish that Garchomp got a speed nerf of -5.

>>33170823
He's swapped to porn, extremely weird fetish porn specifically, and he'll always ban evade

I wish starterwars didn't exist

>>33170906
Those 5 stats go to attack.

>>33170865
PSS is back, but any time someone requests a trade or battle you are forced to stop what you're doing and respond to the request. There is no option to ignore/prevent requests.


>>33170904
GF now produces games of comparable quality to gen V, however, you become nostalgia-blind and refuse to accept that they are as good/better than gen V and bitch about them constantly.

I wish there was a powerful physical electric move with 100% accuracy that wouldn't cause recoil damage or lower any stats and had good distribution

>>33170904
They did by retconning gen 5 completely, remaking it and making it considerably worse and everything else better by comparison.

>>33170906
He did, but just got Sandstorm as its 3rd possible ability and its mega is now 120 base speed.

>>33170914
They don't but they get replaced with even more pokegirl feet threads.

>>33170906
it did but its primary ability changes from Sand Veil to Sand Stream and can now supply its mega form with sand, making it almost impossible to wall

>>33170914
every starter in each gen has now been replaced with Lucario. With just one starter, there'll be no point in starter wars

>>33170914
Genwars will double to replace them

Difficulties are re-added (challenge mode)

>>33170906
It does, but it now learns Shift Gear.
I wish Gamefreak gave their 33% of the Pokemon they own to someone else entirely.

>>33170935
they are, but the hardest difficulty is easier than XY

>>33170935
They get added but as "difficulty" you can only use Feebas throughout your entire playthrough.

>>33170922
You get burned 20% of time using it

I wish for a huge open world Pokémon game

>>33170935
Hard mode is a nuzlocke, and whiting out at any point wipes the cart

>>33170935
It's artificial difficulty(their levels are always 10 above yours)

>>33170953
the level curve is even worse than gen 2

>>33170953
The content is spread so thin, you get bored and quit before anything interesting happens.

I wish I could sit down.

I wish for a balanced Singles 6vs6 and Doubles VGC meta where there's variety and even shitmons like Ledian are viable and make top-cut once in a while!

>>33170936
The 33% is sold to EA games

>>33170964
But Pokemon officially abandons turn-based battling in Gen 8

>>33170963
you can but if you get up, you die.

>>33170963
You can sit down, but you have to wait through a Black loading screen whenever you stand back up.

>>33170969
Where's the downside?

>>33170964
in order to make balancing easier, 90% of the national dex is erased

>>33170974
That's already a thing with VGC where some years only allow Regionaldex.

>>33170964
Granted, but now Pokemon is filled to the brim with microtransactions. You want Power items? Better fork over $10 for each item boyo.

>>33170973
Turnless system is imbalanced

>>33170976
they wouldn't just be disallowed from vgc though, they'd be completely retconned from the game

I wish that I never made this wish

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>>33171009
Your wish never happens, but you get banned from /vp/ since your (non-existent) wish isn't Pokemon related

I wish for PMD gen 7 to release already.

>>33171023
Gen 7 is released, but as downloadable mobile game from the App Store

>>33170757
A Pokemon pet sim

>>33171115
but it's only male Pokémon and it's nsfw

>>33170936
They give it to Digital Homicide Studios.

>>33170963
There is only one spot where you can sit down. It is aesthetically displeasing and uncomfortable.

>>33171023
Granted, but it's sloppy and rushed. You are forced to play as Pikachu with Riolu partner. Only 50 total recruitable Pokemon, gameplay is dumbed down and incredibly repetitive.

>>33171115
Only options for pets are Meowth, Rattata, Pikachu, Pidgey, and Lillipup. The game itself is just a recreation/port of Pokemon Amie available on the E-shop and eventually mobile devices.

>>33171202
Forgot to add, I wish for a bunch of shitmons to get Megas that make them competitively viable.

>>33171234
Granted, but they all end up being so competitively viable they are banned to AG in Smogon rules, and outright banned in VGC rules. They are also disallowed in battle spot and ingame facilities like the Battle Tree and Battle Institution.

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masuda becomes immortal

>>33171234
The megas are viable in NU
I wish for a Water nerf

>>33171276
due to an inflated ego from his immortality, he directs every pokemon game until the end of time

I wish Landorus-t gets banned to ubers

>>33171297
Chansey is new Lando T
I wish we could get VR pokemon, and each is so lifelike, we can't tell 'em from real animals

>>33171297
Smogon unbans Marshadow from Ubers to help counter the now unchecked Tapus and Marowak

>>33171297
Granted, but gen 8 introduces Mega Lando-t, and despite having a 80% usage rate, it doesn't ever get banned from OU.

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>>33171276
why would you wish for this lmao

>>33170757
>fag 1:
>>I wish there was another console Pokemon game

It's coming up for the Switch soon.

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>>33170914
You don't get to choose your starter anymore
>>33170764
It's just a black blur.
>>33170783
They won't go away.

I want the next Pokémon game to take place in ancient Tuscany.

>>33171333
The only Pokemon available with the base game is Magikarp. Every other pokemon is released as paid DLC, one each month.

I wish gen 4 wasn't so slow.

>>33171371
Since Masuda is culturally illiterate, everything is based on italian food.

>>33171379
No text boxes appear and you move so fast that it's unwieldy
It's also impossible to slow yourself down

I wish Lillie never existed!

>>33170757
uma delicia.

>>33171432
she stops existing, but all the screentime she had in SM is given to Tierno

I wish my Pokemon Sun team was real and loved me, said team being:
>Inciniroar
>Lucario
>Mimikyu
>Floatzel
>A-Raichu
>Soleago

I wish every Pokemon had Battle Bond.

I wish my penis wasn't so small

>>33171851
Ok, it now doesn't exist, you have a pussy instead.

>>33171688
They become real, but become hostile.
I wish Hidden Power got the 60-90 BP gimmick again

>>33170757
I wish Hidden Power Fairy was possible?

>>33171857
great i always wanted a cat!

>>33171917
>And loved me
Anyways to fuck your wish over Hidden Power is now always one type per Pokemon, and it's always a type that the Pokemon does not benefit from.

>>33171941
But then you can't go to the bathroom.

>>33171932
GameFreak changes the whole IV system just to make that possible and its much much worse

I wish Weather never got nerfed.

>>33171688
Everyone wants to kill you and steal your pokemon

I wish the Ice-type got buffed

>>33172056
Okay, it now resists ground

>>33172056
Water types get buffed too.
I wish for another Pokemon Conquest

I wish to be a mod with unlimited power to ban forever shot posters and delete everything I don't like from the board

>>33172168
You quickly get your mod powers revoked.

>>33172166
It's more like Fire Emblem and yes, it does include a perma-death mechanic

I wish for /vpmd/ threads to be daily and to finally get our fine piece of otter ass

>>33170822
You get the job, and we're forced to deal with your designs.

>>33172200
Does it exploit waifus to sell the game? Because that's the worst thing that can happen to the Conquest sequal.

>>33172295
Yes, and literally every waifumon joins your party at the end of the game

>>33171755
Breaks the meta.

>>33171755
Okay, but now their battle bond form designs are picked straight from devianart

i wish this thread was food

>>33172279
>we're forced to deal with your designs.
By which you obviously mean people complain endlessly until they commit suicide by jumping into a vat of acid and slowly melting.

>>33172512
Ok, but you can't eat it, and even if you could it would give you cancer and diarrhea

i wish articuno was ou

>>33172591
Hazards are removed in the same gen Articuno becomes useful.

>>33170935
they are, but you can just unlock them after finishing the main game

I wish Atlus designed legendary Pokemon from this point forward.

>>33173442
It's the Persona team.
I wish everyone except me can go to the pokemon world if they want to.

>>33173455
They do, and nobody ever comes back, leaving you stranded in your own world

>>33172685
wheres the negative

I wish fairy type was removed?

>>33173471
It's OK as long as I have enough preptime to get sleeping pills and booze beforehand. I hope everybody has fun.

>>33173479
Fairy Type is removed but all statements become questions?

>>33173503
I'm Ron Burgundy?

>>33172168
Removing anything has 2 more take its place.

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I wish Virizion was good enough to be OU.

>>33173542
It gets a mega that turns it into a generic anime girl.

>>33173546
I don't know how you did it, but you made that wish really suck for me. Goddammit.

I wish Salandit and Combee get male evolutions in Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon

I wish the tutorials in Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon are skippable/removed entirely

>>33173455
>It's the Persona team
Yeah that sucks...for you

>>33173559
Granted, but they're absolutely hideous compared to their female counterparts.
>>33173566
Granted, but Lillie now literally follows you around everywhere and cannot be left behind.

>>33173546
Like, how generic? Is it Monster girl levels of literal human with odd attachments on body?

>>33171282
Water is now weak to Poison and no longer resists Steel, but Ice becomes SE against Fairy and Scald deals Fire type damage as well.

I wish Klinklang got a buff.

I wish that the next Fire starter stays a quadruapedal

>>33173624
It does, but it's so ugly that nobody acknowledges it as a starter. Not even Gamefreak

>>33173609
>Ice buff
That's not a downside for most people.

>>33173609
Klinklang gets a buff
It's BST is raised by 5 and it's base Sp Atk becomes 75
I wish I had a person-size portal to the Pokemon world shown in the games that allowed me to carry pokeballs back and forth, thus unleashing Pokemon on our world

>>33170757
I wish that Malamar is and always was objectively perfect in every way.

>>33174539
It uses Topsy-Turvy after your wish.

>>33174559
Cool, my wish had no side effect due to the fact that Topsy-Turvy only hits the enemy and doesn't effect base stats.

I wish mermaids didn't exist and Primarina didn't exist

guzmaslammingthedoor.png

>>33174609
Because neither have ever existed nothing happens.

>>33170757
this belongs on /x/

I wish that there were no starterwars

>>33174648
The effect is supposed to be catastrophic or something like that, not someting simple

>>33174609
Instead of mermaids you get mermen, primarina's replacement is a bara.

>>33174664
All starters are now objectively on par with Mega-Fug, and equal to each other stat-wise.

>>33174539
Okay, but you can never catch it.
I wish I had a Lucario in the real world, and they loved me.

>>33174509
Nearly every water type has access to Ice Beam. Do the math.

>>33175556
Point.

>>33172014
Granted, but now there's no immunity to weather damage, all weather damages but also types weak to it's type get hit with SE damage ie fire takes damage from rain because water, ice takes damage from sun because fire, and windy weather becomes an actual weather produced not just by mega-fug but moves like tailwind or gust and all special moves and physical moves that involve throwing something get half accuracy.

I wish the switch game would be a gen 7 Orre game.

>>33176185
Granted but it's a spinoff game with Orre tacked on to it.

I wish for lots of bird Pokemon in Gen VIII

>>33176243
They are all variations of the regional bird(which has horrible stats, movepool and design)

>>33176291
I wish you made a wish

>>33176308
I wish there were more good poison type pokemon

>>33176346
Fairy types get a huge nerf.
I wish for pseudo legendary that isn't dragon

>>33176346
Poisoning becomes a temp condition like sleep and toxic/badly poisoned is removed entirely.

I wish someone would make a rom hack implementing every gameplay-related idea from this thread so we can all have a good laugh at how broken it is.

>>33176359
Granted but it's pure normal and only learns the HM moves.

I wish other regions got all the pokemon center Japan exclusive merch.

>>33176384
It's full of fakemon and the creators get hired by GF and the next games flop
>>33176412
They run out of stock before you can get anything and won't be restocked until the next season

I wish GF would give boys good customization options

>>33176658
Granted, however girls will now have shit customization options as sacrifice.

I wish Lusamine died at the end of SM

>>33176678
>girls now have shit customization
How is that bad? I never even play as a girl.

>>33176717
Only skirts, only simple colors, only two patterns, and everything is overpriced?

>>33170764
It's just a Shroomish or a Bonsly with a sheet.

>>33170906
You mean mega-chomp?
Anyway:
>but it gets DD

>>33174751
You say that like it's a bad thing.
>>33176678
She does die, but further research is done on Mother Beast Lusamine, and they find out that it's a second stage of battle bond, allowing you and your Beast combine into one being.

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I wish Silvally could change types using Z-Crystals and learned E-Speed/SlackOff to be different

I wish /vp/ was actually a good board.

>>33178222
>now base 75 in each stat
>I wish chansey got Foul play

>>33178314
Granted, but the popular boards become a shithole.
I wish other Pokémon got unique moves like Aeroblast and Volt Tackle.

>>33178344
>Granted, but the popular boards become a shithole.
So no change then?

>>33173484
you are nice guy

>>33178356
How about every board, but /vp/, becomes a shithole?

>>33178390
>>33178404
... So no change then?:^)

I wish Mega Lopunny was a hated outcast among pokemon fans on level with Landorus and was banned from all tournaments (official and smogon) for its sheer unlikableness and everyone else hated it as much as I do and the only porn of it ever made is hardcore ryona/guro that only the sickest of fucks with the nastiest of murderboners would ever fap to.

>>33178424
Normal Loppuny now catches some of the flack Mega Loppuny gets and becomes hated as well.

>>33178344
Granted, but Pikachu gets a new move with 150 BP and no Drawback, and Lugia gets a better than Aeroblast that's a Flying type OHKO with a stunning 65% accuracy that can be modiefied with Hone Claws/Defog/Wide Lens/other bullshit and Volt tackle and Aeroblast suddenly don't seem so great next to the rampant powercreep

>>33178438
But I don't care about that one, it's innocent so I only hold unrelenting apathy for it.

I supposed maybe it's worse off than the mega? After all, hatred isn't the opposite of love since there's still passion involved, apathy is the true opposite.

>>33178344
Granted, but the pokemon to get unique moves are already powerful like Garchomp or Excadrill and become even more OP

I wish Meloetta got boomburst and more moves to abuse serene grace!

>>33178470
Okay then how about...
A new fanbase of contrarians rises up to defend M-Loppuny and incite constant shitstorms on all pokemon sites trying to defend it

>>33171414
>Tuscan Tangrowth
>it's just spaghetti with eyes

>>33170757
I wish I could get a taste of sopa de macaco
in pokemon games

>>33178514
All additional effects become 10% more likely to happen in gen 8
This makes Serene Grace hideously OP and it's banned from more or less all forms of competitive play as a result

>>33179141
Ok, but it is actually not uma delicia

I wish for a Pokemon crossover game

>>33179231
Ok but it is with bubsy

>>33179231
It crosses over with Rabbids and fails so hard Masuda kills himself

I wish for Samurott to stand on its hind legs and get a +30 boost in attack. I wanna like this thing so badly.

>>33173624
>>33174339
and it's Fire/Fighting

>>33170757
I wish I were dead!

>>33179462
You die, but get immediately revived.
I Wishiwashi for it to be useful.

>>33179481
Do I at least get to visit the afterlife?

>>33179250
whats the downside here

I wish another Ranger game is made

>>33179495
There is no afterlife you dumb shit

>>33179274
Okay but now it's barabait harder than incineroar

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>>33179511

>>33179536
Eh, it was always barabait to a certain extent so it doesn't bother me.

>>33179511
you have no reason to live

>>33172512
Granted, this is now a Djinn thread, that means 3 wishes are required.

I wish peolle stopped posting fake leaks.

>>33183430
People stop posting fake leaks, but they also stop posting about new games altogether.

>>33170784
But she dumps you for tyranitar and you have to pay child support

>>33170813
But pokeballs don't exist

I wish Lillie was a catchable pokemon

>>33183841
But her BST is 20.

I wish the world was filled with horny Pokemon of all species and I had a team with a female Lucario and a male goodra

>>33183854
that's fine. lillie is not for battle, she is for pet & hug

>>33183866
except they are all infertile and have a lifespan of 2 years

>>33183866
They eat mates after breeding

>>33183866
They cuck you and form a perfect relationship with each other

I wish I had a team of Pokemon in the real world, and that team had a female Gengar on it.

>>33183920
You are unable to control any of them due to a lack of gym badges

>>33184036
Sounds great

I wish minior got accelerock

>>33184087
It's only available through a special promotion Minior that has Battle Armor as its ability and cant pass Accelerock as an egg move

I wish goodra was male only

>>33184184
This doubles the amount of waifufagging over it

>>33184209
Good, means the people with shit taste won't breed

>>33178326
Granted.

That's it, there's no "but". The consequences of your wish would be already enough.

>>33178514
Granted, but Serene Grace is nerfed so it only works with contact moves.

I wish for USUM to have new and fully completed areas without any old areas being removed.

>>33170757
I wish Gamefreak would do more games like Black 2 and White 2

>>33186968
Okay but trying to get to those areas requires going through potential SOS battles and if you get one the frame rate drops so low the game crashes.

I wish for a VR Pokemon MMO with technology so advanced you can feel everything, including your Pokemon, all regions, legendaries are unique, it updates constantly and there's modding potential for private servers.

>>33187073
Granted, but you get the risk of getting blinded by such technology, around 0,02%

I wish for a great, healthy, balanced meta for pokemon that explores everything that each pokemon can offer to the game

>>33187223
Granted, they do this by retconning every Pokemon in OU or above, they no longer exist.

>>33186973
Granted. But GF will continue to introduce features that don't appear in the next game, for the sole purpose of making future installments where the selling point is simply that they reused an older feature.

>>33187073
Granted, but the pokemon have an extremely rudimentary AI and don't react to your shows of affection. The regions are flat and look nothing like they did in the video games or anime, and private servers are frequently shut down by an outsourced maintenance team who think they know whats best for the MMO community.

>>33187223
Granted. Each pokemon has received a more generous moveset and a wider selection of abilities. Also the type chart has been given an overhaul so that every type has an equal amount of strengths & weaknesses, save for Normal, which is neutral to everything. Immunities are removed. There is no catch. You've made a wish that can't be corrupted. Give yourself a pat on the back.

I wish each new season of the Pokemon anime replaced Ash with a new main character.

I wish people with shit taste weren't allowed to post on /vp/ so I can finally be free of this place

>>33187352
Granted, but literally no one posts

>>33187365
Not seeing a downside.

>>33171491
Underrated

>>33187285
Granted, but all the new characters are just as bad as Ash.
I wish for Mega Evolutions to get a huge nerf.

>>33188022
Granted, but its to the ones that were already shit like mega Steelix and mega Audino, making them even more worthless.

I wish for the Greninja shilling to stop and that Delphox and Chesnaught get treated as equals.

>>33188035
Granted, but Lucario and Charizard are shilled even more

Would Pokemon in real life really be a bad thing?

I wish there was another physical Fairy attack.

>>33189249
They need to poop and pee even if they're in pokeballs
>>33189353
10 bp only learned by Flabebe

I wish we had a Pokemon version of Disney world that was just as good (if not better) and reasonably priced

>>33189372
Granted, but it closes the next year
The reason? In words of Junichi Masuda haha, I really don't know XD