You're in the club and this guy walks up and slaps your

>>32050367
I slap his bamboo and hurt my hand as a return-fire.

>>32050367
I say I'd cut off our relationship. I'm not a necrophiliac.

Attend her funeral

>>32050367
Notify her family of their loss.

No one wants you

I wish I was kidding, but you try trading a Kartana for a Celesteela in fucking GTS fuck I'm still waiting

>>32050367
I get a lighter.

>>32050390
You're supposed to request one with a Buzzwole. Kartana you get 4 of, Celesteela you only get two and the rocket princess is incredible in battle so it's very desirable.

She's dead. Fucker has the highest attack stat in franchise history

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>>32050367

>>32050424
>Celesteela you only get two

Fuck, seriously, and I was here still thinking there would be four of her as well like Kartana since it's the exclusive Beast equivalent of it in Moon like how cockroach femme fatale is to buff mosquito. No fucking wonder I was struggling getting one. I had no idea.

>>32050468
Yeah, it goes
2 Buzzwole
4 Kartana
2 Celesteela
4 Pheromosa
2 Xurkitree
1 Guzzlord
1 Nihilego

But you might still have trouble now, since the GTS economy has been destroyed by PokeBank. Good luck anon.

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>>32050367
>181 Attack
>slaps my gfs ass

The club is completely destroyed. My gfs bodyparts are found in different countries. The main torso is turned to paste from the force of the impact. A fissure forms below the impact zone that's as long and as wide as 2 football fields, around 90 feet deep. The biggest earthquake ever recorded on the Richter scale emanates from the impact zone and destroys several cities. The government mistakes it for a nuclear strike and blames Russia, causing World War 3: Nuclear Boogaloo. Humans who did not die from the effects of the ass slap die from the nuclear strikes worldwide, and the survivors of that subsequently die of radiation poisoning. Life on Earth ceases to exist.

>>32050484
>Switched numbers

Huh, I never realized Pheromosa would be catchable four times either. But I already gotten one easily previously. Celesteela is really the only one missing.

>>32050494
Very satisfying to read
>>32050518
Both Kartana and Pheromosa are also super easy to catch, with the maximum possible catch rate for both (255) compared to the rest of the UBs which are pretty low on catchrate, barring Nihilego.
Celesteela is one of the most desired Pokemon on the whole GTS aside from Bank only legendaries, so you'll probably need to put up something moderately valuable/banked for it.
I got my Celesteela early in the GTS economy before bank hit for an Oranguru. Try breeding popular ones or putting up some easily farmed trade evo like Electivire.

>>32050367
Nothing but ask why his girlfriend is grabbing mine *insert masterbation joke*

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>>32050367
Toss a Beast Ball.

>>32050367
"OH FUCK!!! SOMETHING JUST SLICED MY GIRLFRIEND OPEN!!! OH GOD SHE'S BLEDDING OUT!!! WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE?!!! GET HELP!!! OH GOD WON'T SOMEBODY GET SOME HELP?!!! SHE'S DYING!!!"

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>>32050367
She should be fine.

>>32050432
OH YEAH MR. KRABS

Take her to get stitches?