ITT: Make shitmons at least high-viability UU with at most two

A single DD to sweep with simple, combined with the coverage of rock stab and EQ would make Rampardos completely busted. I'd say, give him No Guard/Rock Head and Accelerock, with 15 more BST into HP.

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>Brave Trick Room Rampardos with Simple Swords Dance
>1413 Attack
>Able to hold a sash for safe setup
>STAB priority as well

To fix Bastiodon, youd need more than 2 changes. Pick a few of these.

Give it an ability (call it siege?) that means every time it is hit with a physical move, the opponent's attack (or maybe defense to signify being worn out?) is lowered.
Give it a Recover clone called repair, and if you're feeling evil, King's Shield.
Maybe a move that calculates its damage based on the difference between your Defense and the enemy's.

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It's almost a meme at this point but that's because it's too valid not to consider.
Give Dewgong Technician.

It goes beautifully with its movepool: Fake Out, Aqua Jet and Ice Shard for priority; Frost Breath and Avalanche would have amazing power; Whirlpool has good trapping use; Water Pulse and Lick can give conditions while still damaging; Round and Icy Wind would have great doubles use; Thief/Icicle Spear for stopping abuse of items/abilities/substitutes and as always a decently useful Hidden Power.

Top off with Dragon Tail for the option to have a powerful hitting move that sends your opponents away and it's majestic.

Decidueye and Incineroar have their special attacks swapped with something else, preferably HP and speed respectively, mainly because they're both primarily physical and attempting to make them mixed, as with Kommo-o and the box legends, fucked them up.

>>31564279
Give Bastiodon a broken signature move - Full Guard: Protect user to block all attack. May fail if used in succession. Any attack toward Bastiodon would deal damage equal to 1/8 the damage which would have been dealt to Bastiodon to the attacker any lower both the user and attacker's Atk and Sp.A by 1 stage. Would fail against attacks with low priority.
>While it can guard against any sort of attack from the front, it is left without recourse when attacked from behind.

>>31564038
Broken as fuck, top-tier OU. Even without Accelerock, Lele means no priority for the enemy. Keep rocks off before you switch in and you can sweep for days.

>>31564128
This works too, but its not getting any higher than UU.

>>31564279
Siege and the move based off defense would have great synergy if Siege lowers defenses. It would be really good if it had all those things you put.
>>31564492
Nice
>>31564572
fucking this, do they only make 90% of things with two high-ish attack stats so little kiddies don't get confused when their Gyarados' Flamethrower does no damage?

Give bastiodon a steel type move called shield bash that calculates damage based off of defense instead of attack, just make sure you give it a good bp

>>31565035
Shield Bash is a move that should've been introduced 10 years ago to be honest. And it should have the same interaction with Stance Change as King's Shield.

>>31565594
Yes, being more overpowered is exactly what Aegislash needs.

>>31564038
Tiny little mechanical change, howl gives +1 speed as well as attack.
>The user howls loudly to raise its spirit, boosting its Attack stat.
Doesn't not make sense.

This gives us four or so incredible threats.
>Arcanine
Arcanine now has a setup move worth a shit and can reliably do this with intimidate. Might come out of it being a worse dragonite, but it has close combat and wild charge. As well as a 120 BP stab that doesn't lock it into a move.
>Entei
Arcanine with different coverage and slightly better stats, no intimidate and has to rely on fucking bulldoze to get by heatran.
>Luxray
turn one: howl, get burned by flame orb activating guts.
turn two: something dies.
Its facade hits utterly retardedly hard, its immune to status (kinda) and it only needs two moves to function appropriately (wild charge and facade) leaving the third slot open for specific coverage (crunch for alolawak) or possibly sub.
>Stoutland
Same deal with arcanine and entei, but has more than one ability to choose from. Reliable entry with intimidate, two move perfect coverage with scrappy, riding around at the speed of sound with sand rush. Hits just as hard as arcanine, and has far more coverage moves (play rough for instance)

Lycanroc-night with tutors might be good with this too.

>>31564872
>fucking this, do they only make 90% of things with two high-ish attack stats so little kiddies don't get confused when their Gyarados' Flamethrower does no damage?
Yes. Yes, that is exactly why they do it.

>>31564872
>fucking this, do they only make 90% of things with two high-ish attack stats so little kiddies don't get confused when their Gyarados' Flamethrower does no damage?

Yes.

>>31566697
>Buffed Arcanine and Luxray

My fucking dick. Having my two bros be buffed in any way would always be appreciated.

>>31566697
>Howl becomes a Dragon Dance clone
>Z-Howl giving +2 atk and +1 spd
Would be basically a ghetto Shell Smash for dogmons.

>>31566831
>>31566849
This is why we have no future as a species.