>see this >she approaches you seductingly >cuddles up

>>31111214
Hidden Ability: Oblivious

why does she friendzone me

"Me too, scary naked Argonion lady."

I immediately draw my broadsword and decapitate her. Argonians are a plague to our wonderful empire

>Me too! You're like a big sister to me, Salazzle!

And then you watch her get assblasted and desperately try to become your GF over the next few weeks.

>>31111241
shes not naked shes wearing that purple thing

>>31111280
F-fuck you too, landstrider

>>31111289
>watch her get assblasted
Like, watch her have sex with someone else?

>>31111280
>having this much shit taste

What can you expect from an Imperial, really?

>>31111214
Me too, salazzle. Thanks for keeping bewear in check in the only good gen 7 wifi battle I've gotten so far and being a cool fire breathing monitor lizard lady that only degenerates think of sexually.

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>>31111214
Then I'd feel even more guilty about keeping her in Pelago almost the entire time I've known her.

Hum-de dum, don't mind me, just needed a random thread to find out where >>31111111 leads to.

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>>31111214
>tfw my wife is my best friend

I can die happy now

>>31111241
This

>>31111301
Her skin?

>>31111214
SKYRIM IS FOR THE NORDS

>>31111214
Tell her thank you because I don't fuck animals

>>31111214
Punch it in the back of the head and send it to a professor. We have a talking pokemon on our hands, it is our duty to study it.

I rape the shit out of it. I'm assuming in this scenario that it's mine. If not, then I guess we're just friends.
>But anon, it's poisonous and inflamed
Man has stuck his dick in far worse.

Give her a pokebean and tell her she's a good girl.

>>31111214
More like
> see this
>she shuttles up to you awkwardly because have you ever seen a reptile/amphibian walk in two legs? Looks hilarious.
>glomps onto you because imbalance or cuz pokemon are all affectionate like pets I guess?
>she goes "LAZZAGLARG" since they can't speak words
>glares at you, no eyelids so eons blink, probably tilting head in different directions because lizard thing
>something somewhere else catches her attention like a fly or something and she skitters away

>>31113187
Also you die of poisoning.

Fuck off salandit is my best friend

>>31111214

>holy shit a talking pokemon
>this is now my secret to keep and i'm not sure if I can handle it

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>>31111214
>she continues to talk about a Machamp nicknamed 'Chad' and that he is not like the other pokemon
>she is glad to have a friend like you

every time

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>>31114900
>the guy she tells you not 5o worry about

How do you even get cucked by your pokemon?

Just bend her over and train her real good.

You ARE a good trainer, right?

>>31111241
>ywn give her a fourth of a good Nord wage

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>>31111280
By the nine divines! Assault! Assault!