Alright /vp/oreons, let's do a nuzlocke. I've already randomized a FireRed rom, all you have to do is help me make decisions.
First up, pic related. Odds decides.
An overwhelming chorus of traps encourages say girl.
What's our name, weebs? Evens is the answer.
For fuck sake. Not sure what I expected.
Evens chooses our starter, odds picks the name.
Shit wait! We have to pick the Rival first. Evens names this fag lord.
Never change 4chan.
Our options are Whismur, Pidgey, and Ralts.
Odds this time.
Lots of waifu-fags it seems in this thread. Ralts it is, odds name this little guy.
Those don't look like very practical clothes for swimming, Benis.
I wonder which Pokémon this nigger picked?
Get fucked Pidgey.
Mama Mia, our first wild battle! I thINK that we'll win!
So, good news and bad news.
Good news, we're level 6 now.
Bad news, there are tentacruel running around with toxic that out speed us.
Killin niggas left and right.
We reach Viridian City, bashing our way through various poison types with 0 Luster Purge PP remaining. And our only other move is Trick. Let's hope our first capture is something decent.
Why yes professor, my Big Dick is growing...
Our first Pokémon on Route 1! Luster Purge will OHKO it, let's hope I can catch it with 5 balls...
I just can't...
Oh fuck oh shit...
I had to bolt or risk losing Big Dick and the run, so no pokémon on Route 1 for us :/ just barely made it home to mama's love.
We stock up on plenty of healing equipment, hopefully we won't need them.
Maybe Route 22 will yield us a healthy new specimen?
Let's find out!
Holy shit :D
Sorry, was trying to find my next class at Uni.
Evens names this rascal.
This blind little faggot has Secret Power and Overheat, thank god he didn't use the latter against Big Dick.
Got class now, adventure will continue in an hour and a quarter!
They can grab some sweet tits and have an excuse for it.
Hey yall, OP here. My phone is basically dead, I'll be home in hopefully no more than a half an hour. Don't worry friends, I haven't abandoned you!
The lewd adventure of Big Dick and Blind Fuck will continue.
>being this dense
Dude we've done Nuzlockes before, and they've gotten fan art, sure some of them got popular, but the thing with TPP was that the users were controlling the thing, here there is one person in control, and he can, if necessary, cut the shit if need be (it won't in all likelyhood). Also, there's no way in high hell we'll fucking turn this shit into a cult. Also we're on fucking 4chan, not twitch, so this is most likely going to be circlejerk among us ya twat.
Hey gang, I'm back! Sorry for being so much later than I had planned, girlfriend/bus bullshit got in the way. Let the fun recommence!
On, to Sher- I mean Veridian Forest!
But first, this old fruit wants to teach us how to catch pogeymans.
Nigga, I already have two balls on my belt, how the shit did I get those if I don't know how to catch?
Just got back from a 2 week vacation to Mexico with her and her family, I need some me time.
Shut your dirty mouth.
Our first encounter on Route 2! Hype! Let's see if I can seal the deal here.
Aaaaaw yeah. This bad boy has Dragon Dance, Aeroblast, and Twister, as far as I know.
Vaporiser in the hizzouse!
Our first Viridian Forest pokémon! A little underwhelming considering our last two, but I'll try anyways.
Comment t'appelles tu, petit fleur?
Fitting name, this guy is totally useless.
Moves are Leaf Blade and Double Edge. Christ.
Speaking of Trannies, our first trainer battle is with a confused bug catcher. Get ready to choke on our Vape, "Antoinette."
Get fucked, trap.
Well. That was quick. RIP Pussy, you Frenchie fuck.
Oh lord, this whole forest is full of crossdressers.
Our Vaporiser is setting up a hearty sweep on Cammie's surely powerful team.
After a merciless slaughter, we return to the pokemon Centre to recover.
And guess what? Blind Fuck learned Spore during the battle!
Go for it dude.
Aaawe yeah gettin that crunkle.
WOOT! After violating another sexy bugboy trap, Blind Fuck evolves!
here you are, it took all of ten seconds worth. (oh and it was done with a mousepad).
100% gold, saved.
We defeat the final Bug Catcher/Analyst, and actual boy named Joy! Fuck Viridian Forest.
Vaporiser: lvl 10
Big Dick: lvl 8
Blind Fuck: lvl 12
Ah, Pewter City, home of blind black lechers, an people giving out free running shoes.
We enter Brock's Gym, and are immediately challenged by some mother fucker. This Kabutops ain't got shit on us.
Rest in RIP, Big Dick.
Blind Fuck takes sweet, sweet vengeance.
Fuck this gym, fuck Pewter City.
I thought we were ready... Kabutops was too strong. It's Rock Blast, unstoppable.
We must train.
You must repent for your folly, and perhaps you will be forgiven
Does the second part of Route 2, the part after Viridian count as a separate route for catching?
They both have dragon type, so I'm gonna say no second capture.
Trips did indeed confirm.
Using only Blind Fuck's deadly Spore/HP Steel combo, we breeze through Gym Leader Marcellus' rock type gym.
We get Marcellus' TM, Rolling Kick. None of our mons can learn it though :/
Heart pounding and hands shaking, we stumble out of Marcellus' gym, Fossil Badge pinned to our breast.
We drudge with leaden feet to the Pewter City gardens. Our heart is heavy with the loss of our companions, but buoyed knowing that they did not fall in vain. A single tear rolls of our cheek, splashing on to a crimson flower blowing in the wind.
We rise to our feet, fists clenched. This is only the beginning.
We'll do it for Big Dick.
Thank you for following the first chapter of our story, friends. I'll be taking a two hour break, and then returning to the action.
Stay tuned, and keep this bread toasty!
Have a gif of the time line of Tamriel.