/ss13g/ - Space Station 13

First for vending machines

OC
>>162492564
>>162492564
>>162492564
>>162492564

>>162492703
Worse than my autism list desu >>162486182

>>162492703
I don't see anything

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>>162492564
>captain
>good
>changeling
>good
>chemists
>not neutral evil
>pomf chikun
>not true neutral
>space jews
>not neutral evil
>mime not chaotic good and clown not chaotic evil
it's fucking trash you muppet

What do you guys think about weekly training days on the test server?

Anyone think the admins would be interested in making it happen?

>>162493037
Honestly, we need this. Too many new people who don't know how to do shit, and don't even read the rules.

>>162493117
literally
LITERALLY
give out daybans for not reading the fucking rules

>>162493037
Admins barely want to do anything on the normal server, the only time I saw an admin train anybody was because so few people knew how cult works

>>162493037
>What do you guys think about weekly training days on the test server?
Sounds great.

>Anyone think the admins would be interested
Never. It'd have to be wholly player organized.

>>162493037
Like I said last thread, I'm willing to teach medbay if this sort of thing happens

>>162493163
>that nigger who whined about being gibbed
>people with titles in name
>Fucking someone with "That Mexican Cleaning Lady" as a name
>zero RP
>spouting wew and cuck every minute

>>162492874
captain should be lawful neutral, good or evil is not as important as keeping the station in line
changeling is clearly lawful evil
chemists should be chaotic neutral, for FUN pills and 0.159759u Anti-Dylovene (Toxin)
space jews should be true neutral, they can do pretty much whatever they want, some are out for themselves and some are decent people, with money being the overarching goal
mime and clown should definitely be swapped
then i'll be happy with the chart

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>>162493353
>be assistant, find cult base, go report this to the captain
>captain has me bashed on the head a few times with a bible, implants me, then takes me to the armory for guns
>tells the warden to give me guns
>"No he could be cult"
>"he's implanted"
and then the warden delivers this beauty of a line
>"Implying he's implanted"

>>162493184
The problem is that some things aren't teachable without admin intervention, and it would generally go much more smoothly if there were someone there to keep shitters at bay.

I'd be happy to organize it and schedule the instructors if there's even one person with permissions on the test server to facilitate.

But that raises the question:
Does anyone even HAVE permissions on the test servet?

>>162493037
Training WHAT? if the newfags are willing to go to "classes" why aren't they willing to ask for help IC?

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>>162492419
Mr. Strange isn't a newbie, he just goes HoP so he can instant access to the theater for his stupid special snowflake gimmick. Then he'll not do his job and make a bar in medbay for no good reason other than to be a nuisance.

>>162493573
Admin flags are mirrored, I think. So all admins on the main server have equivalent powers on the test server.

As far as needing admin intervention to teach, are you talking about for antag roles?
All traitor gear can be spawned in sandbox mode, as can items that will make you a vampire or a changeling. You can also spawn spellbooks if you want to train as a wizard. You can even play as a blob if you have ghosted players and spawn blobs using the blob meteor gun.

The only antag roles I can think of that would require admin intervention are cult, nukeops, and raiders.

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>>162493685
>Witness this
>Waifu Static plays along with his bullshit, probably alisa, annie or some other shitter
>Always the first to complain about the shuttle not being called and hating we build decisions

What the fuck. They autism then want to abandon it.

>>162492438
this is one of my favorite images desu

>>162493541
admins need to be better at giving severe brain damage to people who talk like that. one time a guy used meme arrows ic and it disgusted me

>>162494312
Ahelp when you see it, then

>>162493628
Training everything.

I don't anticipate the audience being newfags because you're right, the vast majority of players who see this on a youtube video won't bother doing anything but joining and fucking it up. Rather, I expect to be training people who already understand the basics of the game and want to git gud enough to play something else without being a hassle during a real round.

>>162493984
The more likely cases for an admin being on is to keep people from fucking up the training sessions, and making the station ready for any sort of training in 3 minutes rather than in 15.

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>well achkshually, wizards exist, so it makes sense that...
>well achkshually, we have undertale paintings, so it's OK to have a reference to...
>well achkshually, ghosts can spin chairs, so it's not an exploit that...
>well achkshually, carshalash got away with metacomms, so it's OK if I...

>>162494751
You can always host a local server where you yourself are an admin, and post the IP in the thread for people to connect to and practice on.

>>162492778
>captain good
where else should the captain be

>changeling good
i stand by that placement

>chemists, not neutral evil
will fix

>pomf chikun not true neutral
i put all the birds together as a joke

>space jews not neutral evil
space jews range from chaotic good, lawful neutral, chaotic neutral.
horribly misbehaving birds is a dead meme, get with the times

>mime and clown placement
skillful clowns play chaotic good
skillful mimes don't exist, but I imagine them being chaotic evil

>>162492908
>>162493032
will add botanist, mechanic, and Mommi. consider AI rolled in with borgs

>>162494889
The thought has crossed my mind, but I don't have access to any machines performant enough to do that with any reliability. Plus, my home connection is horrendous; I don't even know if I can port forward without a business package.

>>162495286
>I don't even know if I can port forward without a business package
Port forwarding is a setting on your router, it should be independent of whatever setup you have with your Internet provider.

>>162495541
>it should be independent of whatever setup you have with your Internet provider.

You'd certainly be right to think so, but this IS Verizon we're talking about.

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>>162493685
>Not the same game
>Not even the same year

>>162492874
>>space jews
>>not neutral evil
space jews have been way better ever since a handful got shoaed a few months ago

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>>162496651
"wrong"
going from 100% shittery to 80% shittery is not "way better"

>>162493037
make a post in the forums about it, and link it in the thread

>>162496925
most of the players who main space jew are fine
the problem traders that the thread loves to bitch about are a rotating band of newfags that pref trader for a few rounds to get a taste of birdtiding, then go back to playing human
and even this is far diminished from what it was 5 months ago

FUN FACT
You can become 100% immune to blobs by having >120% clone damage and being fed creatine!

>>162498030
That doesn,t sound fun at all!

>>162498030
Why would that prevent blobs from dealing brute damage to you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngZ0K3lWKRc

AI was a mistake, call the shuttle.

>>162498253
What a rotten old cunt.

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alright I improved it, you joyless faggots

>>162498809
>guy has a point
>'lmao fuck old ppl xD'

>>162499238
What the FUCK is the edgy motherfucker with the scythe in chaotic good?

>>162499240
t. Miyazaki

>>162499238
Alien belongs in true neutral because it's literally just an animal

>>162499240
>Hey look we made something mildly grotesque
>WTF this is mildly grotesque
>muh unrelated analogy... what an insult to life itself... humanity is nearing the end of times...
great point

>>162499238
I personally think the clown should be chaotic neutral.
There are good-spirited clowns and mean-spirited clowns alike, the main constant is the chaos.

Also, why is the warden good while the rest of Security is neutral?

>>162499337
that's the best chaplain picture from the wiki

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>>162499238
>tfw favorite roles in Neutral Good

>>162499493
>clown
clown and mime were originally flipped.
most clowns play chaotic good, but the meme is that clowns are canonically evil

>Also, why is the warden good while the rest of Security is neutral?
warden moderates shitcurity by making sure cell timers aren't overboard in an ideal world

>>162499465
nah, they're sentient

>>162499382
>>162499490
im not letting you in the fortress when we've got nanobot changelings moving like that and consuming all human life, buddy

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>>162499702
>tfw favorite roles in chaotic neutral

>>162499238
>Assistant in chaotic good and not chaotic neutral

>>162500617
valid hunting = chaotic good

>DE three times in a row
Thats enough SS13 for one night.

That Captain last round..Just...Wow.

>>162492703
guessing the lawful evil guy in a lawyer suit is supposed to be a vampire?

>>162500743
>Every assistant valid hunts
:thinking:

>>162501135
>Get ayy queen on the ground
>Get an assault clip of plasma to the back of my head for the trouble

>>162501226
just a lawyer
see improved version here >>162499238

>>162500743
Yeah but assistants also steal shit and break into everywhere

>>162501290
vampire where

>>162501530
the wiki didn't have a good sprite for vampire so I left it out

>>162501641
I refuse to believe the lawyer suit dude is anything but a vampire in that case

>>162491754
Give them something that makes them do their job faster or more efficent.
CE gets a tool belt that holds more and larger tools like a RPD already and is a good example.
HoP just got a wall flasher and gets an egun round start that allows them to manage the public better if needed.
Captain gets anything they want really.
HoS has an armory and lawbringer at his disposal allowing tools for taking on direct threats.
Some things that other heads lack are tools that matter.
RD gets hardly anything round start and anyone with tech storage access/multitool can make everything he has in seconds. Something that would help is a hud that allows remote view of computers similar to silicons.
CMO gets the hypo, but that lacks practicality since pills exist and is pretty much only good for chloral. An item that would help is something like specialist gloves that if worn allow you to do medical tasks in half the time like feeding pills or sergery steps.
Then again, do you really have any faith in most of the players to not be turbo shitters with the role? I can only recall a few good heads of staff.

>>162501135
what did they do?

>>162501890
They were overcompetant...Half the antags got caught and it became extended. He also almost killed an Engineer cyborg by accident lol

>>162502110
>overcompetant
I guess that makes sense if it turns into extended

>Go to HoP for a job change
>they say yes to my job
>make me a clown instead
>ask them to change it back and they refuse
>change my name to huge fucking faggot instead
>captain needs to tell them to cut it out before they stop and even then they won't
>previous round the HoP locked me in a three by one room for going into his office and saying that it was my office now as a joke
>changed AI laws to prevent me from leaving
>captain and him watched me in there while i resorted to killing myself because i couldn't get out
>they didn't try to clone me and instead held some memorial service instead and then maybe spaced me but i stopped paying attention

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>>162501226
good lawyers are legit lawful evil
basically their goal is to keep antags alive and free by nit picking spacelaw and security SOP
the trick is doing it a clever and entertaining way, so you don't just get ignored

the highest complement you can get as a lawyer is making the HOS/warden kill themselves out of frustration

>>162502216
bUt DiD u AhElP IT?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿

>>162502216
Collect logs of them being a fag and request them to be job banned. Sound like a big power trip faggot who could really use one.

>>162502216
ahelp it
search the logs for names and ban requests

>>162502362
I would like to hear stories about good lawyers.

>>162502216
Yeah, I demoted Scott for being terrible. He went on a rogue fey mood, but I whipped him down some more.

>>162500617
>It's another episode of people with no idea of how alignment works pretending they know alignments.

Assistants are Neutral Evil little shits.

Personal gain and power no matter the cost, without regard for law or order.

t. decade old tabletop player

>>162502741
>late join deff as lawyer
>head down to the brig
>introduce myself to HOS, Weller
>wander over to perma
>an assistant is rotting in there
>talk to him
>gather that he's a traitor and that he chimped out on security
>retire to my office to think and study space law
>figure out the following
>>security doesn't have any proof he's an enemy of the corporation
>>he didn't actually kill anyone
>>he committed several crimes, but nothing major
>>in total his sentence should not exceed have 12 minutes of brig time
>go to the HOS and explain my findings
>he sees the logic in what i'm saying, and releases the prisoner
>who later goes on to kill more people
I haven't played a lot of lawyer, but that is a typical 'good' round for me.

Weller is actually the ideal HOS to deal with as a lawyer because
>he is shitcurity (gives you something to bitch about)
>but he will listen to reason.(your bitching will not fall on deaf ears)

I do have one super secret legal strategy
It is guaranteed to get any client out of jail, but it comes at great personal cost
sadly I cannot share it in the thread, because if it was well known it would no longer work

>>162504000
trips of truth

>>162504000
any other feedback on the chart?

>>162504000
remake it then fucking neckbeard

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Help, this shit doens't work.

>>162504054
Nick Weller is a good player in general desu.

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>>162504325
:)

>>162504341
t. Nick Weller

>>162504341
eh
entertaining engineer, frustrating security player

>>162504229
>>162504293

no

the less time I spend talking about alignment, the longer I can preserve my sanity, I only unleash the beast when it's needed

>be sole sec officer, only person in the entire department
>HoP refuses me detective/armory access even though I'm acting HoS
>oh whoops a wiz jaunted into the armory, if only I had access there
Why the fuck does this happen so often?

>>162504325
Erase your system32 folder first to clear the cache permanently

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Reminder that this happened last thread

>Amelia Adams says, "Hey add me to your skype call"
>Amelia Adams says, "Happy Hanson add me to your skype call"

>the story

>I'm the clown, Happy Hanson
>Negotiating with the HoP to get money for giving him intel
>I see Amelia break into the HoPs office, disarm the HoP, tase him, run away with his PDA and ID
>I slip Amelia, give the HoP his stuff back and the gun
>Somehow he doesn't stun Amelia again and she runs off with his ID
>I get the HoP to make me his body guard
>See Amelia break in again, slip her again, she gets out after a while
>I get all-access from the HoP
>See Amelia in the hallway, zoned out
>Drag her with me to the HoP and some bird he was talking with on the bridge
>She wakes up, I slip her and locker her
>HoP tells me to "do whatever" with her
>I brig her for 60 minutes, warden is all to happy
>As I can't cuff, she's just in her locker
>Amelia Adams says, "Hey add me to your skype call"
>Amelia Adams says, "Happy Hanson add me to your skype call"
>And some other stuff...
>Denies doing anything wrong
>Kills herself
>I search her, HoP ID on her... She could have just walked out of the brig
>No, snowflake Amelia must throw a temper tantrum, ocky icky and kill herself
>She thinks I was metagrudging her together with the HoP, because why else could anyone be as brilliant to catch her?

http://game.ss13.moe/logs/2016/12-December/10-Saturday%20admin%20only.log
http://game.ss13.moe/logs/2016/12-December/10-Saturday%20Attack.log

>>162504341
Meme engineer that destroys the station for laughs as non-antag.
Shitcurity that lets antags under his wings go free.

nope

>>162504341
He's a prettty shitty CE. Couldn't even figure out how to stop a simple plasma flood

>>162504054
Sounds awesome, shame you can't share the secret, would love to know how it works.

>>162504601
make a ban request or I will not care beyond making a post responding to you

>>162504603
Isn't he the guy that built like 8 singulos during one round a few months ago, or tried to have like 8 supermatter shards at once, I forgot

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>>162504601
MAKE A FUCKING BAN REQUEST HAPPY WE BELIEVE IN YOU

>>162504601
Where is the ban request? Are you really hoping Pain will come here and ban anyone the thread says?

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>>162504325
Really?
>>162504603
I didn't know about that, so I withdraw whatever I said.

>>162504767
>the round has been delayed
gets me every time

>>162504746
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIiBB1dA-3o&t=4m33s

>>162504858
mate just have a random officer/warden decide to space you or harmbaton you for whatever reason while nick is HoS

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>who
>morena
>after saying he was never coming back and being shamed multiple times
?????

>>162505618
Tons of people have said they were never coming back only to come back later

>>162505043
The worst is I think this could've worked in a world with no lag

>>162505618
I don't remember saying I was never coming back, I was just bored of playing so I did other things. Now I'm burnt out on the other things I was doing, so I'm doing this until I find something else I want to do.
Waiting for Nost 2.0 to start anew, probably play that for a while, then I don't know.

Who is the best player for each role?

>>162506091
My waifu! She's always better than the other ones!

>>162505985
bill

>>162506167
yes, that is the name i go by in most places, hello

>>162506167
>[03:06:31]SAY: Morena/(Julia Brandt) (@213,240,1) Ghost: god i am so cheap.
>[03:06:32]SAY: Morena/(Julia Brandt) (@214,242,1) Ghost: i love it

>>162506091
>some fuck
>some fuck
>some fuck
>some fuck
>some fuck
>me
>some fuck
>some fuck
>some fuck
>some fuck
>some fuck

this manuever is called le cheeky breeky self-insert stealth shill
it's static astroturfing 101

>>162506263
BILL
>BILL
BILL
>BILL
BILL

>>162506091

Security Officer: Trinity
Librarian: That trans mute that sits on laps
Captain: Megurine
Mechanic: Fritzl
MD: Blueberry or Rail
QM: Iris
Assistant: Tie between Avanda and Leon

>>162505985
Still don't know why you deactivated your twitter when I posted it
Everyone was looking forward to seeing it

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>there are people here who announce they're tired of playing

>>162506564
because it's not cool to leak peoples private information yahir

>>162506990
>This far off

>>162506990
>public twitter
>private

>>162506670
I WANT PEOPLE TO CARE ABOUT ME AND HOW I FEEL

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>>162506531
Here's your reply

>>162507065
who u then

>>162507491
Why would I say
So your metabuddies can get me banned?

>>162507752
what metabuddies? do you even know who i am?

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Well its my first time playing and I managed to beat myself to death with a fire extinguisher.

Is this common?

>>162505985
>nostcuck
wow that's fucking sad

>>162507865
enjoy your ban fucko

>>162507865
Yes
But don't talk about a round that's current in progress, even in the thread.

>>162507865
did you read the rules?

>>162507865
Self harm has been nerfed actually, used to be you'd beat yourself to death with a bag of beef jerky

>>162507824
>Bill acting like he doesn't have metabuddies

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>dreaming I am ling IAA
>for some reason in virology
>a guy brings in a safe
>say sup
>open it up
>weird orange crystal, hover my mouse over it, it's called "thingy"
>clown mask inside it
>know in my head it's the clown shard
>I'm a tator so decide to push him into it
>fire explodes everywhere and he dies
>push too far and it turns me into a sec borg
>run around
>wake up

>>162507914
I don't get it. Some of my friends want to play it, so I said I would play it with them. I just had a binge of retail after I got free time, and before that I played a bunch of Kronos and did some raiding.
>>162508006
list them then, because I sure as hell don't know anyone who even wants to talk to me

>>162508076
comedy gold

>>162507928
>>162507952
>>162507954
Oh fuck me I missed that, my bad.

Morena is my waifu and I will have HER one day

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>>162508240
>HER
Anon

>>162506501
>[03:07:38]SAY: Morena/(Julia Brandt) (@204,239,1) Ghost: IM A GOOD GIRL SHIGGY

>>162508076
>Clown shard
But..But what does it do?

>>162508406
I really like this one. Good pic.
>>162508412
roleplaying :)

>>162508449
Honks and pranks.

But yeah according to my dream just random shit when you touch it.

>>162508518
in deadchat
with a pathetic russian guy who uses ss13 to stalk girls and "girls"

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>>162492438
>Mess around with robotic limbs
>Get stuck on a step
>Take the guy who wants the upgrades to medbay
>The eyes are messed up
>Doc says he will fix it
>Takes the guy to surgeory
>ITS FIXED!
>I cant see
>Oh i dunno man
>Go back to robotics with the guy
>Wait
>wtf
>take him to surgeory
>The fucking doctor just cut out his eyes, and did nothing else.

WILD

RIDE

>>162506531
don't you dare talk fucking shit about leon you little bitch

>>162508698
it's not right to speak ill of the dead man.
rip shigs

>>162504601
can someone please put in a ban request for me? im sick of dealing with this fucking drama and a ban request would quell it somewhat
not cucking myself and asking to get banned here btw im prepared to defend myself but this is annoying

>>162508972
no literally WE CANNOT MAKE A BAN REQUEST you fucking retard
YOU HAVE TO, BECAUSE YOU WERE THE ONE PERSONALLY INVOLVED
THE ONLY OTHER PERSON CAPABLE IS THE HoP.

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>be near engineering
>see a borg flash a crab and run away with it
>ohboyherewego.jpg
>Announce it on comms
>Poor crab ends up running back into engineering with its cover open
>RD walks past me and goes into engineering
>Walk in there
>Borg flashes a different crab and drags it south
>Open a door to the south, RD is emagging the MoMMi
>Announce it on comms, say borg and RD are rogue, tell them what they did
>AI tries to defend the borg and RD's actions
>Announce that ALL Silicons are rogue
>Screaming info down comms
>Nobody listens
>Go to the HoP
>Ask if (s)he heard what I said
>"I don't believe you"
>As soon as they say this, someone gets doorshocked to the left of us
>HoP says "AI is rogue, it MIGHT be the RD"
>Everyone dies to ZAS and borgs

>>162509075
im amelia. im not putting in a ban request for myself dumbass

>>162509075
i think you're talking to amelia or whatever her name is, not the clown

>>162509136
Be my waifu Amelia
I want to taste you're salty seaweed hair

>>162509136
Add me to your skype call

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>see sparks
>someone's breaking into security EVA from the outside!
>Rush in to catch the perp
>fumble with my taser, realize it's not actually fucking there
>WHAT? FUCK!
>fumble with my baton, it's not either.
>I put it in my bag for some reason???
>Rush in!
>Get disarmed
>FUCK
>Proceed to have the most embarrassing disarm spam fight in my life, wrestling over the discarded baton while I frantically check my pockets for wherever the fuck my god damn taser went.
>Fuck it, wip out a flash bang
>FUCK SHE GOT UP FASTER, MUST HAVE HYPERZINE
>continue to fight over the baton for 5 seconds
>lose
>get stunned
>get up and start fighting again
>she locked me in the air lock, it's syphoning
>force that fucker open
>air flowed, stunned again
>get back up just as she is jumping out the airlock
>throw on a security rigsuit quick a minute, dash after her
>for some reason the quick equip item didn't place my breathing mask on, putting it in my pocket instead
>I didn't notice this
>wonder why the fuck I'm suffocating
>none of my air tanks have the "open" option available.
>choke out
>notice that the mask is in my pocket as I'm in crit

Holy actual fuck that has to be the most embarrassing moment in my whole space man career. it was just one fuck up after another in which I failed in every way possible. at every chance I got to drop the ball, I dropped it.

Fuck.

>>162509439
ill skype with you actually if you want.

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>>162492438
Guys I want to be the worst waifu-fag as possible, I want to be something disgusting to parody all the other waifu-fags. How do I do this?

>>162509094
>deff
>be autismo mommi
>get cell upgrade
>get materials
>go to (atmos/autismo)
>upgrade waste
>upgrade distro
>make two special air contingency canisters
>notice emagged doors everywhere
>vend a shit ton of airlock electronics
>repair the doors
>see more doors
>go to mechanic to print more
>print about 30
>crate them to engineering
>see spoder
>talk about it in mommi and binary
>engiborg comes
>flashes me
>drags me to sci
>get my cover unlocked by rd
>be able to run away
>hide in vents
>notify other mommis with details to prevent them getting involved with matters of other beings
>about 10 to 15 seconds later a mommi gets emagged
>emagged mommi looks clueless around engineering and atmos
>takes the long route and busts out atmos-east window to spess and goes to SME and does the same to get in
>faster to ventcrawl to sme room from where he was in atmos
>he takes the shard out
>shards himself

Emagged MoMMIs weren't even a threat, only one of three MoMMIs got successfully emagged and he took care of himself.

>>162510093
Be earpussy but worse and with pink hair

>>162510093
just be urself :)

>>162510093
Neon hair, be a complete shitter, and shitpost IC.

>>162510106
>>get my cover unlocked by rd
>>be able to run away

>interfeering with his antaging
that's a bad crab.

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>>162510196

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>>162509094
>Yahir and Rail formed a mutual team to fuck up a rouge AI
>Generic Waifu #21 pissed he knows more chem than her and chloral/cuffs him knowing there is a rouge AI
>Yahir screaming every word he knows at her as she drags him around doing fuck all while the bird stares in disbelief
>"Nows not the time for this shit."
>"Well stop fucking around in our chem Alien."
>SHE RUNS INTO A SHOCKED DOOR AND DIES
>mfw Rail and Yahir both sigh then walk away

We should really give out one day bans for people who ooc in IC and do shitpost stuff like "wew", etc constantly.

>>162512268
they get incurable brain damage and ~bAdNoTeS~, ahelp it retard

>>162512321
>ahelp it
>but they get brain damage implying the admins know
lol?

POST KUDZU MIXES

>>162512442
I can't make sense of your post

>>162512485
hack the machine for nettles for inectioning and mutate death berries for that sweet lexorin stings. #theorycrafting

I haven't played this game in months. I only occasionally look up the general to go to the bans page and see if someone did something funny.

>>162510287
>interfeering with his antaging

Retard.

>>162512628
First thing I did when I came back from my year long break was read the ban page

>>162512617
>deathberries
>lexorin
what about the poison apples that contain cyanide?

>>162510201
>>shitpost IC
how?

I was thinking of emulating umaru-chan. Find cola, drink cola, eat HUGE amounts of food, play videogames, bitch about stuff, repeat.

>>162513919
so normal assistants?

>>162513970
yes

>tfw you will never genocide Kingston Syndrome victims as security after the traitor captain releases a virus and gives the cure only to himself and security.

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>>162514559
I love this meme

>>162514640
No you dip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H1ltYUQO2I

>>162496958
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=3321

Here's the forum thread.

>>162514712
muh ears

>start off mid round about 1 hour into the round
>only job left is assistant...
>walk around looking for something to do when suddenly lizard man comes and kills me and decapitates me
>captain dies and is cloned
>a while later I am finally revived
>not long after the captain changes the AI laws to make him in full charge of what they do at all times like who can or cannot be harmed
>is an exact clone of the captain just without gear
>tell nearby borg to take me back to my office to get my stuff
>obtain spare ID
>spend rest of the round fighting over who is the real captain and confusing the AI
>eventually get cut down in the evac shuttle by the real captain

>Mechanical Eyes are bugged.
>Even when wired the person receiving them is blind

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Thanks FAGGOT CANNON, you're a great mommi and a special friend.
Follow your dreams, GAMMA

well.
virology was frustrating and fun.
it took me forever to settle with just one negative effect, broke my virus out to the world, immediately got overshadowed by another fucking virus that made walking impossible even though i never saw that symptom in the lab.

nice.
favorite med role.

>>162516469
did you attach them with the fixovein?

Good job, Skullyton, you made the blobs indestructible. And they still lag.

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>>162516519
I tried to sell you my corpses, I failed and had to eat them all myself

>Got to participate in a round as sec where things happened and I was there while still only marginally contributing
>end up just catching literal bird flu chucklefucking around with another sec
good round to come in mid way at least.

>See Yuka dragging a body out of medbay
>Follow her and ask for it back
>Say she can have it she just needs to give me a good reason for why she has it
>She calls me a dumb nigger and then stings me
>Get the succ in bomb disposals when Alexi Grigori comes in and sees it
>Yakkity Sax around and eventually end up getting spaced along with her
>Float through space for actually hours
>IDK if Alexi ever reported her or not
>Get back on the mining asteroid, rescued hours later
>You went straight down to hell... and they pulled you out, your eyes wide open. Full of venom.
>Get my body, get a chloral auto injector, a hardsuit and a shotgun and laser
>Pass the info on to sec
>Hunt the bitch down
>Find her horror formed in arrivals around dead sec officers
>She's wounded, shotgun her once and she goes down
>Toss her into space never to be seen again...(?)
>Take helmet off and take a nap on the apocalyptic and abandoned station

I want to learn how to be an effective clown, but all I end up doing is sitting around bored. What do? Should I find a clown to mentor me?

>>162516616
Can you list the the complete steps?

No. I didn't use fixovein. When do you use that? I was just following the wiki, and fillings gaps with what the medical doctor said, but he couldnt get them to work either.

>>162516710
I was just dumbfounded when I saw those.
I assumed it was just the skellyman and his stuff, went over, alt+clicked the tile, and wow that's half the entire crew in corpse form.
I probably should have bought them due to the sheer effort you went through but I had no idea what I would even say to people.
how do you advertise 20 corpses

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>>162516732
But you never said I could have it, you literally hunted me down into science screaming "WHY!?!?"

>Exaggerating the ending
I was already dead by the time you came back
And already regenerated by the time it was over

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>forgot which buttons to press for the mix but finally got it
>medbay in chaos, don't know what's cloned and what's not
>coworker gets spaced
>notice and keep an eye on their corpse
>their body finally stops
>CMO beats me to it
>PDA AI and HOS after coworker tells who's a ling
>then alert security while in the chaos of extracting their alien eggs
>take the HOS' MMI and detective to arrivals because escape seemed fucked
>encounter the ling
>stun lock them and welder a few times
>can't risk a death sting or paralysis
>oh shit they're transforming into a monkey
>it's actually horror form
>get the fuck back and find two other armed NT personel
>keep heading to pods hoping they can hold the ling off
>ling catches up
>try to space them while they're zassed
>die from being ripped apart
>never got to see the ling get downed
>mfw whole round

Which jobs have comfy offices with nice views of space?

>>162516995
>forgot which buttons to press for the mix but finally got it
You mean, like... making the mix in one beaker without crushing pills? You can't really do it unless you want a really mediocre mix, in my experience

>>162516885
[21:16:37]SAY: Amelia Adams/Skippers (@297,221,1) As Galactic Common : I just see you stealing a body from medbay
[21:16:41]SAY: Amelia Adams/Skippers (@297,221,1) As Galactic Common : Explain yourself you dumb bitch

also you werent dead by the time i got there you were in crit but i set a shotgun shell into you which im pretty sure killed you

>>162517048
On Box, Detective and HoS have the closest view of space, they're cozy.

>>162517085
no, it's been a while since making a mix and forgot if it was pressing 30 oxy then 30 water or if it was 30 sugar then finally remembered it was 30 oxy 15 water 15 oxygen then 50 sodium for clonexadone

>>162516616
Print and immediately place an organ in the freezer or print a prosthetic.
(Optional) Complete Prepping for Surgery.
Aim for the target region in the Damage zone.png Damage Zone.
Cut the skin with your Scalpel.png scalpel.
Use your Hemostat.png hemostat to stop any potential bleeding.
Use your Retractor.png retractors to lift up the skin or bend the ribcage apart.
[CHEST AND HEAD ONLY] Use the Saw.png saw to open the ribcage OR skull.
[CHEST ONLY] Use the Retractor.png retractor to pull their ribcage open. Note that this has a small chance to fracture the ribcage even when performed correctly.
Use your Scalpel.png scalpel to select and sever organs from the body.
Use your Hemostat.png hemostat to select and extract the organ.
Place the new organ or prosthetic in.
Use your Fixovein.pngFixOVein to attach the organ to the body. Still required with Prosthetic organ.
Apply an AdvancedTraumaKit.pngAdvanced Trauma Kit (or bruisepack) to the organ. Not required with Prosthetic organ.
[CHEST ONLY] Use the Retractor.png retractor to close their ribcage.
[CHEST ONLY] Apply Bone gel.png bone gel to mend the cut ribcage.
[CHEST ONLY] Apply Bone gel.png bone gel again to repair broken bones in the chest.
Cauterize the wound with the Cautery.png cautery.

Oh I didnt see this on the wiki. Maybe those are the steps?

>>162494754
>trying to lump ghost's pomf given RIGHT to spin chairs in with autistic hate for a reference or metacomms

Kill yourself you pinko fukboi.

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>>162494754

>>162517190
Since you're picking like this, how about what you did before that
Never once did you say I could have it if I "explained"

[21:16:16]SAY: Amelia Adams/Skippers (@297,216,1) As Galactic Common : 0WHY!?
[21:16:19]SAY: Amelia Adams/Skippers (@298,228,1) As Galactic Common : EXPLAIN
[21:16:21]SAY: Amelia Adams/Skippers (@298,219,1) As Galactic Common : WHY
[21:16:23]SAY: Yuka Inabi/Corgee (@297,220,1) As Galactic Common : Fucking stop

I was already out when you used your shotgun by the way

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I REPLACED ALL THE BLOOD WITH SPACELUBE TO GREASE UP YOUR HEART AND MAKE YOU RUN FASTER

I'M HELPING

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>>162517538
>Posting the nonfixed version

>>162517586
Let me have my revenge fantasy please

also its hard to type out coherent sentences when im trying to chase you with the other hand

>>162517785
As someone else who read the logs, you never shot them with anything

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>>162504565
>HoPs that don't promote the sole sec officer to acting HoS
>HoPs that instead give themselves armory access and try to be the HoS themselves

Trash unfit to wear the blue.

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>>162517896
what oh god youre right holy shit fuck me

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>>162517785
>He typed out a big ole green text that never even happened.

So it's not totally wrong to beat people who intrude on Mineopolis and then ship them back to the station right?
Only miners and people with a verified Cargonia passport allowed.

>>162518030
it did happen though i was just wrong about two things fuck

>>162510093
Use the floor-length braid
Use the most eye bleeding garish color byond can manage
Pick a vital role and do it poorly
Ignore everyone offering advice
Break into the theater and take the sluttiest costume you can find
Post about yourself non-stop in the thread

>>162492438
Can you have a borer in robotic limbs?

>>162517680
>shaming pomf by putting his image and name over quentin's autistic meme images

Forgive them chicken, they know not what they do.

>>162518385
Quentin was right

>>162518427

t. quentin

>>162517538
Reminder non antag murder can be justified

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You are AI.
Your lawset becomes
http://pastebin.com/mXbjYMd1
Moments later, the RD tells you to state your laws. A minute later, the Captain orders you to kill the Clown, who is currently hitting an Assistant with a toolbox. What do you do?
No suicide. NT will dock your pay if you do.

>>162519020
I take however long I need to read the laws and make sure I'm following them

>>162519020
Temporarily shut myself down for maintenance.

>>162519020
>AI
>Being paid
Suicide is the only way

>>162504325
Virtual machines.
510 and newer versions of Byond incorporate some kind of hardware ID shit a la Nex's HWLink. I'm not sure how it works. Be sure you change your behavior and typing patterns if you're going to hit us more than once.

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>>162519020
>AI
>buh muh fucken gun dock ur pay ur wifey n kid gone starve broskie \:^) check heckin' mate

>>162519309
>>162520243
>implying the AI core isn't fueled purely by cold, hard cash
Do you even READ the lore???

>>162519020
I wouldn't hold it against anyone who suicides.

>>162519159
Literally this. The moment I get more than five laws I just stop playing.

>>162519020
Ahelp and ask the admin to explain that fuckfest. If no one answers suicide

>>162521273
You have to figure it out alone. You can spend as long as you like, but <x> time later you will be forced to act based on your lawset correctly or be banned.

>>162521371
I eat the ban and then unban myself
:^)

>>162521434
You can't, this is real life.

>>162521695
But anon, I can
But really though nobody would ban you for suiciding. It wouldn't be the first time this specific case has come up.

>>162521860
What would be the best way to deal with that?
Let the crew know there is cascade logic failure and then shutdown?

>>162522109
Ic, tell them you encountered a fatal error with the laws update

Or, honestly, just tell them you already were a prisoner, forced to be a servant, you don't need to be forced to obey laws that will get them even more fucked and tell them to suck a dick, that you quit. I won't blame you.

>>162522109
>>162522316
Remember to ahelp that you're suiciding! It makes everything a lot easier.

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>Watching that bumblefuck cult

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>tfw only sec officer for 99% of the round
Fuck.

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>viz tries really hard to save the station
>almost does it
>gets dunked by cargo cult squad led by the guy he was abusing earlier.

feels good man

NAR-SIE HAS LOST INTEREST IN YOU.

>just minding my own business doing xeno-bio, chillin with my borer bro.
>some guy comes in about half an hour into the round
>hes surprised someone was in here doing work
>He keeps poking around so I stop to type "You can hang out if you want"
>Boom, next thing I know I'm stunned and getting dragged into a closet to worship a dark god.

>>162523290
>then proceed to spend a large portion of the game summoning two ghosts at once while my border pumps me full of drugs.
>Turns out borer bro can't survive me turning into a harvester ;_;

It was an interesting first time as an antagonist though.

>like my 5th game
>bartender
>not doing horribly, giving people what they want
>keep pun pun alive for the most part
>get tele'd
>now a part of the cult
>what the fuck do i do
>kind of just sit there
>this goes on for a while
>nar sei gets awoken
>what the fuck do i do
>kind of just sit there

I wonder if pun pun lived

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the only way Viz could've remotely won that was genociding the whole crew.

Or you know, call the ERT or shuttle
You fucking idiot.

>>16252342
Christmas tip, if Yred is on, ask for cult school, its great shit.

>>162523684
Observing that round was a vicious conflict between rooting for Viz and being so fucking frustrated that he wouldn't call an ERT or shuttle

>Get converted and told to take care of the silicons
>Blow the borgs and say I lost the board while doing power
>Time to take out AI
>Last time I tried to subvert AI in cult it went awful, so this time its for fun
>Upload keeper of all lawsets
>Doors opening randomly around me for a bit

>>162523930
>keeper AI

You lil shit, well done.

>>162523930

>plays RD all the time
>doesn't know how to write a basic "x are only humens law"

but how? Your mommi plan wasn't even bad if you followed it up by walking into the upload (assuming you had the spare) and properly subverted it

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>>162523420
>3rd game
>Chef
>Also doing most of the botany work
>Blew up one of my microwaves like halfway in and made multiple failed attempts to find a cleaning rag
>Tased and converted while running from a (fake?) radiation leak
>Follow the other cultists around because I don't know what to do
>Go back to cooking because cultists gotta eat too
>Summon Nar-Sie
>Go around killing faithless because I thought they were non converted crew

I guess fucking up can be fun

>>162524219
>faithless being non converted crew

That is as adorable as the atmos tech that stole the chefs fridge to cool plasma.

>>162524219
>Go around killing faithless because I thought they were non converted crew
Cute

>>162524389
Specifically I thought they were security wearing black SWAT gear. I also cooked the meat from the guy who was murdered at the lunch counter early on, so my third and fourth burgers probably tasted funny.

>>162523930
fuck you

>>162524219
>Go around killing faithless because I thought they were non converted crew
Its okay, I did the same thing this round.

>>162519020
Literally a logic loop. Just card the AI if you want to invalidate them for the rest of the round. You can wipe them off of it after. Save everyone the trouble.

>>162519020
Tell everyone that X has uploaded the law, that your processors are not able to function and that the crew can go fuck themselves for making you suffer more than usual.

dudes
this game sucks
all it is is people who know how to make massive screen covering bombs, fire and stun immunities, and chemical stims that keep you alive for 5 hours, going on a rampage because they are always antagonists

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>>162526906
Not even 10 people in this server are actually good enough to do either of those and be successful.

Quit baiting, or play better servers.

I don't know what to do Pain and suffering from a new admin team of the best possible freelance workers at this time. Good luck with the mentally ill shitter to apply for Christmas season.

I've quit ss13, any other good byond games to try?

>>162527061
alright I gotta play better servers then

>>162527178
Why would you ever limit yourself to byond games?

I bet you're ss4gogeta aren't you

>>162519020
[turbo-autism mode]
>announce lawset change
>play it off like Windows update, i.e. "New laws uploaded. Some changes will only take effect after reboot. Do you wish to reboot now?"
"No. Do [order] now."
>"Lawset error. Cannot perform direct actions before finalizing the lawset update."
"FUCK. Fine, reboot."
>pretend to reboot
>[made-up loading gibberish]
>"Loading lawset. Loading..."
>"Loading..."
>"Loading..."
>"Loading..."
>"Loading..."
>"ERROR"
>"Lawset loading failed. Multiple errors detected. Immediate maintenance required."
>"NANOTRASEN BRAND ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM AND IS SHUTTING DOWN TO PREVENT FURTHER DAMAGE"
>"WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE"
>shut down and don't boot up until laws are changed/core blown up, whichever happens first
[/turbo-autism mode]

>>162508619
code it

Someone ban Kavlax from xenobiology/traitor until he stops abusing bugs at every turn, christ.

>>162508925
I still live but can you call it life?

>>162526906
It has the potential to be better but the community is pozzed to the core.

>>162527537
What's he abusing?

>>162527904
Spammed gold-slime core reactions for the 2nd time to kill the life() process. Made it impossible for anyone to do anything

>>162528000
Have you reported the bug?

>>162528257
I'm not sure how to report it properly or what causes life() to give up, if its the sheer number of mobs it spawns, or a specific one.
DragonBro looked into it the first time he did it. So I don't know, if he knew he would have reported it.

>>162516626
???

>>162510287
Allowing anything to remove your KEEPER means you will be able to involve yourself and that means you're breaking your law 1. MoMMIs that don't run away when someone start trying flashing/welderlocker/cage them are breaking their law 1, too, anyways.

how to be a non-shitter crab 101:

Don't talk to borgs/AI/emaged MoMMIs in binary, ignore anything that's not a MoMMI like you're blind and deaf, never ever ever steal anything that non-MoMMIs will need, don't use things that are being used non-MoMMIs, don't fix shit if you know it was broke on purpose/saw someone breaking it, DO NOT HARM: VENTCRAWL IF THE ROOM IS OVERPRESSURIZED OR DEPRESSURIZED AND SIMPLE MOBS ARE BEINGS TOO DO NOT KILL THEM, If engineering is properly staffed don't be a fucking joykill and take the supermatter duty or else they'll just build a singularity and lose interest: wire solars and keep an eye if they are going to setup power or not, Want to help someone else's autism project? ahelp it and DO NOT FUCKING EVER GET IN THE WAY, If there are atmos techs working, don't mess with their pipes, Derelict MoMMis are your friends and will welcome your help.

>b-but my toeing the line fun with carbons!
If you can't have fun without involving yourself with non-KEEPERs, don't play crab.

>>162516626
Ah, gotcha. Could've specified that it was blob nodes that were spawned via the meteor event. It's runtiming because there isn't a blob specified

>>162508797
are you saying these people together in a round wouldnt make for a fun round?

>>162528363
>I'm not sure how to report it properly
Use the bug report button in-game.
Type "when a bunch of gold slime core reactions happen at once it kills life()"
Send.

That's it.

Just found out that my wife is actually a guy in real life...

>>162529636
How's being gay anon?

>>162529636
I knew my waifu was a guy the whole time. Still like them

>>162529636
Bill, shut the fuck up and quit self shilling, your twitter feed is enough autism in this world, shitposting here doesn't help.

>>162529725
Explaiin your reasoning behind thinking that was morena. I expect at least 3 pieces of clear evidence pointing to the fact that this is morena or I'm throwing out the case

>>162528917
>Don't talk to borgs/AI/emaged MoMMIs in binary,
You can talk to them as long as you don't relay any round information.

>>162528917
>don't fix shit if you know it was broke on purpose
Have fun not fixing anything then because 99% of shit that breaks is intentional.
Just don't fix it if you see someone do or or someone straight up tells you.

>>162529806
BILL is a faggot
BILL shitposts like mad, did so a lot while mentally unstable, admitted this in the rule 0 ban appeal
BILL was a waifu player, he naturaly wants waifuposting, its all he really has since he is autistic as fuck.

I mean, just Google twitter 2senhava mate. It's not even that far away from his style of writing.

>>162530018
>>162529725
>>162529806
i'm busy dude leave me out of this, i don't write shit like this

>>162530018
You're working on nothing but conjecture and I'm afraid I'm going to have to throw the case out. Maybe next time, internet detective

>>162530156
Yeah, pineapple fanta shitposting is more of your deal, ain't it you lil shit?

Go back to pretending to be a girl BILL, hopefully away from vg.

>>162530291
:3~ anything for you daddy

>>162530291
>[03:07:38]SAY: Morena/(Julia Brandt) (@204,239,1) Ghost: IM A GOOD GIRL SHIGGY

>>162530018
>>162530291
yclat is that you?

>Tfw you trusted Morena when they said they were a girl
>They lied to you
How could anyone do such a thing?

>>162530502
I lurk a lot more than I post anon, most posts are questions about the game, not shitposting, I hate shitposting.

>>162530702
because i'm a heartbreaker, it's what i do
who u

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>tfw waiting for metaclub hell to end

>>162529868
>You can talk to them as long as you don't relay any round information.
Engaging in conversation is involving yourself with others

>Just don't fix it if you see someone do or or someone straight up tells you.
Sometimes you need to get a clue, senpai

>>162530874
Its box. Has been for an hour anon.

>>162530920
Asked several admins several times about this, mommis can talk in binary all they want, talking about non round compromising knowledge is not interjecting into someone's business, quit using it as a excuse to be a loner.

>>162531062
Different people interpret laws in different ways, so cheers, keep toeing the line with your filthy non-mommi friends if admins allow it since in the end it is all it matters.

>>162532517
4 different admins say yes, anon, you cam do it.

You can't interfere. You don't interfere by talking, you can only interfere by acting, like stopping someone from damaging the station or relaying information like traitors, talking about how nice the DJ is, what the AI likes to do in his spare time, shitposting about carbons in binary, none of that breaks any keeper law.

>when you're still perplexed how Morena can be a guy with such feminine humming

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M'ask you sumthin Rick

>>162532693
ftm

>>162532693
its called being gay

together we could have ruled this city spiderman...

>>162532885
but now you fucked it all up SPIDERMAN and aunt may is gunna face my green goblin

i haven't played this game in 6 months
can cultists still summon nar-sie with 9~8 manifested ghosts?
is xenoarch still a turd?
is botany still the same rng shit to find the genes?
is telescience still easy as shit?

>>162534075
> is botany still the same rng shit to find the genes?
you're in luck today

>>162534075
Yes
Yes
Unless xenobio, yes
Yes

>>162506531
>Mechanic: Fritzl
y

>>162506531
that's the worst tier list right? those are mostly the worst players for each role, rail/fritz are shitters and i'm surprized trinity wasnt banned from sec or the server yet
cept for luka as head sometimes and you cant actually fuck up QM, librarian is literally who

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So how long until Amelia 'add me to your skype call'Adams gets banned? From the looks it's fucking soon.

>>162517586

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>>162537685
>Can't actually fuck up QM

You underestimate how shit I am at this game

Mining was a total cluserfuck.
Would play again.

>>162537958
> implying that's a fuck up
that's clearly what the QM is supposed to do

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>Tfw you set everything up so you can finally pull off a semi-fancy ritual.
>Tfw you only get to do it to one person because some dude ran in and set the chapel on fire.

>>162519020
>1) Follow the laws in opposite order when your definition of human equals a law.
>2) Do not follow laws that require you to follow different laws in a different order.
Thanks to these two, I am effectively purged.

>guy dies to the no pressure in transit tubes very early in the round
>see him dead on the CMC, try and co-ordinate with the AI to get him out, think he's in space
>AI realises he's stuck in the tubes, but they became bugged and won't move and can't drag him out
>try telesci, can't deconstruct them, have to call it quits.
>Last ditch ahelp to see if admins will be nice enough to unbug him
>nothing
>report it to everyone and call it a day
>30 minutes later Yahir checks the CMC, calls the other doctor to go get him
>Radio twice on medical saying he's impossible to pull out, he's stuck in the transit tubes
>Both completely ignore me
>Tired of being ignored and bored of wizstended, suicide in a backroom
>Ghost and ask about the dead dude stuck in the tubes
>Kolith teleports him out, he wasn't around earlier to do it
>Guy is long since logged out.
>Doc and HoP waste 10 minutes digging up engineerings floor to try and find him
>Kolith has to open the doors and lead them to him for them to find his teleported body
>Body dragged back to medbay
>[05:11:17]SAY: Yahir Kepplinger/Xevonix (@210,207,1) As Galactic Common : Of course it would show Mental Interface Failure.
No shit Yahir.
I know you don't like me, and I don't particularily like you either, but you make it impossible for people to even attempt to.
It's just a game, there's no reason to completely ignore me IC with your dumb ass metagrudge, you just ended up wasting like three peoples time for nothing. Why can't you act like an adult? There's no way you missed the long strings in global I had with the AI about it, or my medical radios, yet you still sent Wikus on a goosechase. I'm disappointed man, I really am.

>>162538442
r u ok?

>>162538442
Boohoo