/ss13g/ Spessmen on a Spess Station General

.g absorbing clown in the dorms

how did that op at cargo die?
i jumped through disposals after getting shot at

Who are you most looking forward to ERPing with? Reminder, you can order silicons to have sex with you when the time comes!

>>146223279
A ban request would never get off the ground
It'd get closed immediately under the grounds of metagrudging poor poor yahir
And the person responsible would either get a permaban for muh metagrudge, or Yahir would spend every round for 2 weeks following him around harassing him and acting like an antag towards him

>>146222726
I solemnly swear to bear all erpers

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GOBBOZ WHEN?

>>146223806
>bear all erpers
What about bearing their children?

>Start up game
>Look at crew manifest
>Assistants and Sec account for more than 50% of crew
>Numerous other useless jobs (e.g. Spacepod Mechanic)
>2 Medbay staff and 1 Engineer

When are they going to set limits on departments to help balance out the crew distribution?

>>146223945
No erping on /vg/

>>146223498
>that last bit
Hello, metagrudge.

>>146223959
"I know you really don't want to do anything right now but be comfy in the bar, but your fun isn't important to us. You're required to play surgeon because that is what we have decided you are required to play. Do not complain or mess up or we'll ban you."

>>146224031
UNTIL NOW.

>>146223860
gork master race

>>146224116
>comfy
Opinion disregarded, cancerous scum.

>>146224059
>someone complains about getting metagrudged by yahir
>but in reality its them metagrudging yahir
????

>>146224519
>pointing out the truth as a neutral party that barely has ever interacted with the guy is considered metagrudging now

>>146224116
It's more along the lines of it not making sense that a research station has more security personnel and useless employees than actual researchers.

>>146224698
what the fuck are you on about

How would you balance an invisible gun a traitor mime could get?

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>>146224732
This is Nanotrasen we're talking about, they're supposed to be pants-on-head retarded when it comes to hiring practices.

>>146224915
makes it seem like the mime is talking when it's shot

>>146224915
Guns of the patriots

>>146224198
I meant that I don't ERP on /vg/

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>>146225024
This is both dumb and at the same time probably the best way to do it.

what the hell is going on in this game

New player reporting in.

First round: So i wander around the station for 5 minutes, then someone grabs me, drags me to a dark room and turns me into a vampire. Then i wander around some more until a goddamn space fish bursts through the window and starts eating me. However as a vampire he doesnt really kill me and just eats away for some minutes until someone comes and kills him. Then i suffocate and cant move and cant die.

Round 2: Tried space mining, didnt know how to use space suit, died in space.

Round 3: Someone stabbed me to death in the maintenance tunnels in the beginning.

Round 4: So i try to become a cargo engineer. I haul some boxes and ask what i should be doing. One guy tells me i should get an emitter. Okay. After some time i find one, however it was turned on and killed me as i approached it.

Round 5: So now actually some guy helps me at cargo. We agree to some scientist who wants us to order stun batons and armor. Then we get searched by security. Then the gravity fails, then o2. So this guy got me a suit and explained how to use o2 mask. I suffocate anyway, he gets me back to life. He basically drags me along for 30 minutes and i try to die many times because of stupidity. In the end he puts me in the escape pod. He also saves a corgi. In the escape pod i forget to take off my o2 mask. I suffocate while arriving at central command.

What the hell am i supposed to be doing.

>>146224519
its okay anon, they're just a bit touched in the head is all
dont pay them no mind

>>146224732
Space Station 13 isn't a research station, it's a military training station. They hire the nuke ops and traitors to thin out the unfit crews, so that when they flip the tyrant switch on the loyalty implants and decide to take over the galaxy, they'll have a well-oiled army (of former security crew) with no dead weight.

Think about this rationally, dude. Everything on the station is geared toward creating and honing military power. Research leads to production of plasma WMDs, or to production of powerful guns and armor. The soda cans are conveniently just the right compression ratio for improvised bombs, and just happen to be the perfect size to fit into bear traps and make a landmine. The mouse traps are hairtrigger rigged and compatible with hand grenades to make traps. These are not coincidences. Every single shift the crew is drilled with hired-on 'antagonists'. Nanotrasen is working toward a new world order.

>>146225303
Comedy gold

>>146225427
Are you still pushing your edgy lore, Anon

Didn't we tell you that even bay's lore is better yesterday? Just stop already.

>>146225616

Agreed he's taking up real estate that would be better occupied by what we all come to the thread for, discord drama

>>146224791
I'm saying it is going to have to take a person with NO NOTES and the purity of a saint with the courage of a million men to post the ban request, lest the Yahir begins counter pulling up dirt on the ban requestee to get them banned instead, like >>146223498 is afraid of.

>>146225786
>getting this mad someone called your shitty lore shit

>>146225950
do you really think anyone gives two shits about what some perpetually buttmad autistic faggot ayy lmao thinks in the long run?
just play the fucking game and quit whining about imaginary monsters in your closet.

>>146226629
But he isn't imaginary.

>>146223959
>mechanics being useless

I'll let you in on a little secret. Mechanics is simply assistant+

>>146227005
Which means they are useless.

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>>146219739
What's your favorite SS13 ship?

Mine is DrCelt X Arthur Dent

They're so cute together.

>>146226937
Your dad might as well have been.

>>146226629
>s-stop trying to ban yahir guys!
>he-he doesnt matter!

Fuck off Nevill

>>146227191
>DrCelt X Arthur Dent

Who are you and where did you come from

>>146227257
How rude !

>>146227346
Yahir x Nevill metagrudge is so 3 months ago. The thread has already moved on to Trinity x Zalinka and then to Ashe x Felicity.

You need to freshen up m8 people mite start to think you don't play here and just shitpost.

>>146227847
It's not metagrudge when everyone knows they're shitters who need a ban.

Yahir has literally gotten away with breaking dozens of rules by hiding behind 'th-they're just metagrudgers!'

>>146227981
not to mention silently abusing exploits and refusing to report them, which should be bannable on it's own

>>146228036
its funny since yahir pitched a shitfit over two fags passing PDA notes claiming muh exploits

but has admitted to abusing real exploits himself

>>146228251
No, no, no, you see anon, what HE was using is not exploits because he knew how to do them!

>>146228251
Just because he admitted his guilt does not mean he is absolved of his crimes.

>>146228251
>Using an exploit and then reporting said exploit
>The same thing as using an exploit and keeping it from everyone else

>>146228517
i hope you don't seriously think yahir reported his exploits
especially since he said he used them multiple times before 'reporting' them

>>146228609
yahir never officially reported his exploits, he boasted about using them in discord and that's how they got out.

>>146228517
Aha, you mean how the PDA logging had been reported for months, but Yahir never reported his exploits!

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>>146227981
These ban requests aren't gonna make themselves.

>>146222726
Sorry, Law 1, can't do that

No way a person like you could handle the borg cock

>>146228739
But Probe, ban requests for Yahir would only get shut down because 'muh metagrudge'.

>>146228739
Solarious wrote a serious ban request and it got tossed out because MUH METAGRUDGE. If anyone else does it, it would happen again.

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>that post shuttle grif with lubespray and death nettles
who /biowarrior/ here?

>>146229071
>anything by solarious
>serious
thats a funny joke anon

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>>146228913
>>146228739

>He thinks he can ban Pomfs best friend in real life

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>plasma flooding escape

>first time playing
>no idea what's happening
>it's Christmas
>grab as much food as I can carry and start force feeding everyone donuts and turkey because why not
>Santa gives me clothing and a violin
>figure out how to use the violin
>it's all good
>things start exploding
>get poisoned and throw up everyone on the escape
>death nettled

I think I had fun?

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>>146229072
>plan for postshuttlegriff
>some admin just instantly destroys the shuttle the very milisecond it lands
>doesn't even do anything fun, just literally detonates a 99bomb cap on top of it or spawns 40 bears per square

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>>146228913
Egads you're right. The entire system is in Xevonix pocket. I bet he's even deleting incriminating logs.

When will this reign of terror by a guy that hardly plays anymore end?

>>146229071
The only thing I could find was an antag ban request for Sordine and Sordine had been playing with antag roles off.

So an antag ban for suiciding because he didn't get the antag bid he didn't enable would not be in the interest of the server.

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>>146229072
>Praise Xenobotanist death nettles
>Plant my own plant
>It floods escape with plasma and take atmos 5+ minutes to clear it out

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>gift station with artifact
>everyone start pushing it's buttom
>one of them is a mimic buttom
>kill mimic, take injuried to medbay
>artifact goes missing
>someone actually dragged it to the AI upload
>ghosts start pushing the artifact's mimic buttom
>someone break the artifact, making a big explosion

>>146229348

Space Station 13 is a beautiful thing, Anon

Try holding a job like Chef and look up the Wiki to know what cool stuff you can do, Assistant is a bore trap for anyone new to the game

>>146229430
all the incriminating logs are 3 months past or more
so it wouldn't even get read since 'lmao only bast three months matter' even though he's been a shitty player for a year now

>>146229430
>allegedly keeps getting antag even when he has it disabled
>intently, maliciously blows up cuban pete bombs station time 12:05 with the specific objective of getting the shuttle called as soon as possible because he doesn't want to be a tator
>too autistic to ask someone to figure out why he keeps getting antag so he can stop getting antag and ruining rounds over it
>not fixing his antag problem is "not in the interest of the server"
what?

>>146229660
whoops double negative in the last line

Mime farts doing slight toxins damage when

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>people actually want to ban Yahir
then who will keep the station running smoothly?

>>146230016
People who don't sit in the bar for entire rounds or go sit in secluded rooms with their husbando I guess

I just can't decide who my waifu is guys. Too many candidates

>>146229484
>ghosts can use artifacts
wait what, that's amazing

>>146230134
I believe there was a bugfix for this though.

>>146230097
i've seen yahir help out medbay a few times, never seen any of his apparently hilarious shitter antics though

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>>146227191

wtf why was i permabanned

the mime was wearing a skirt she was asking for it

>>146230646
>literally
&
>who

>>146230443
let's see
theres the time he beat a patient with a wrench 4noraisin
the time he harassed two people constantly and got them banned 4noraisin
the time he admitted to abusing exploits which he never properly reported
or any other myriad of shitty acts he's done

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>>146230646

>>146230750
I'm guessing that's Celt piggybacking on Arthur while Mustard threatens to blow Elim up

>>146230828
close, its senaat

>>146230793
the """patient""" was probably a changeling or a vampire
the """"harrassed"""" people probably went full valid shitter and killed him, the poor saint
the exploits are the faults of the coders, not the faults of the innocent
the angel saved my life a few times, are those considered shitty acts?

>>146230750
Celt, Arthur, Senaat, and Elim
Christ, keep up

>>146230828
You missed out Eliminator, though. He's in that picture too

>>146223498
If it's backed by logs it's not meta. If yahir doesn't want to get banned he shouldn't do that shit. It's not like you have to use your ckey so he'd know anyway.

>>146231078
Christ, what twats. Absolute Twats.

>>146231154
he's probably just buttmad yahir stopped him from getting his redtext

>>146231130
But I did include Elim

>>146230883
Senaat is the turban? I thought it'd be Mustard what with being a Turk

>>146231130
>while mustard threatens to blow Elim up
Can you read?

>>146230793
>theres the time he beat a patient with a wrench 4noraisin
Uhh.. Ok? People do shittier things than this all the time.

>>146231361
Senaat is part Moroccan, the artist clearly took some creative liberties
I mean for fuck's sake, Celt is leprechaun and Elim is a goddamn washing machine

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>>146230793
Yes, and Yahir was banned for beating the guy with a wrench.
Do you believe hes some untouchable boss monster or something?

Yahir is a GUD BOI.
All y'all are haters.

>>146224732
It makes sense in a closed system where there's only so many players here to work for NT. Not for a bunch of depressed neets who just want to unwind. Some days I join to just make a bean kitchen or play with my pipes. If I got kicked for doing that I just wouldn't play and go ranch goats in dwarf fortress or something.

Consider this, When you're researching a mix in toxins, it takes approximately 40 minutes just to setup the lab after which you still need to heat, chill, mix, test and tweak. The misc science lab was hijacked by telesci which you can't test hazardous shit in without causing a clusterfuck when you're trying to teleport shit back in. Advanced Telesci is practically RD only thanks to SOMEBODY unless you want to rush minerals, crystal teleport the CE locker, blow it open hoping the plans are there and make teleport platforms in space. Genetics is pure RNG at the best of times even with the best chems and methods. Xenobio you have to brute force by running as many pens, entrance and xenobio maint as you can throw cubes into to rush splits. Xenoarch requires you to rush the asteroid field with mesons that don't even work so you can survey the weighted dig sites for something worthwhile. God help you if you're fishing for larges. All the while miners are destryoing the handful of war/temple digs you get and smash the occasional large artifact of which you only get approximately 6 of in the entire world. Yes, world. That includes the asteroid field, clown roid, and random vaults with rock in space. Engine research is a nightmare because everyone has their own way of doing shit so even if you can get others to help they can only do so much. Research botany is a pain because you can never get another guy who can actually handle either advanced botany or identifying plant genes so you'll never ever get vines that wrap someone and inject them with kelotane, bicard, antitox, nutriment, and dex+ in a self treatment pen in the medbay lobby.

>>146231971
>I mean for fuck's sake, Celt is leprechaun
>creative liberties
I don't get it

If you were the queen of vgstation what would you do?

>do a full administrative purge, new admins will be evaluated secretly on whether or not they are normies. normies are shown the door. one-time banlist purge
>rules slackened, crew can kill each other as long as they have a decent reason, crew can fight back against sec nonlethally if they're an arrest target
>purge memes and joke content from the codebase, meme coders lose merge access
>add a second vote to the end of each round which lets the crew decide if they want to play vgcode, tgcode, gooncode or baycode in the next round
>ERP unbanned

>>146225303
Read the fucking front page of the wiki. Guides are there for a reason.

>>146232041
>vines that inject kelotane, bicard, antitox, nutriment, and dex+
i did this once and they still wanted to lynch me because "muh kudzu"
i just gave up and all my Research Botany stays on research botany

>>146228739
>>146228913
Just ban request with the logs >>146228670
Exploit abuse is a dingdong and you can grep the logs to know when he used the power.

>>146232041
I used to speedrun everything in the game to an autistic level, I could have a phazon done in 8 minutes through telebeacon abuse, could have supermatter done from scratch 10 minutes after I got it, etc.

It's just ultimately not worth it because shit's going to get reset in 30 minutes on average anyway, it's much less stressful and fun to mess around in the bar and riff off people. The more I play the game the more I feel like roleplaying. Maybe I've just lost my motivation but can't let go of the game, I don't know.

>>146232127
Celt DOES straight up sound like a leprechaun, fair enough
But I've heard elim talk and it's not just a bunch of rumbling and rattling

>>146232139
Out of the way, the only correct answer is here
>ERP mandatory
>If you stop ERPing you are teleported to "The Hotel" where you have 14 minutes to find a new ERP partner.
>Once there you can do some practice scenes to make sure you're compatible. If you are, you go back to long term ERPing on the station
>If you can't find a longterm partner you are permanently transformed into a simple animal (cow, corgi, spider, etc) and lose the ability to communicate at all, and also become valid

Lobsterstation now

>>146225303

DO. YOUR FUCKING. JOB.

>>146232431
as long as people are encouraged to fuck the animals, i'm totally with this new ruleset

>>146230134
It's a feature

>>146232460
calm down let the nigga learn

>>146230443
Observe more often or crawl out of your autism cave.

>>146232395
Yeah, it all doesn't matter cause some newfag is gonna lol6bomb/singuloose/plasmaflood/murdercons/shard pop and we're out in 30-40 minutes. Worse yet, it only takes one guy and with the rising pop there's always THAT GUY. It's just not worth playing

>>146232431
Can I become the rare breed of horse that NanoTrasen has deemed fuckable by law?

>>146232704
Only if the station is currently ruled by dastardly oppressive savages.

Hmm... savages. Well, that's what he has written here.

RP and characters > validhunting and powergayming

/vg/ is the perfect RP server, not constrained by admins and able to RP whoever you want

>>146232127
>>146231971
>>146232423
I do not sound like a leprechaun

>>146232704
>>146232792
>you will never be a member of the Knights of Sex With Black People
feels bad, man

>>146233153
You really do, though, Celt
I expect you to be selling me marshmallow-y cereal

>>146233153
TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA, LADDIE
HAVE YE SEEN ME POT O' GOLD ANYWHERE?

>>146233153
Agreed.
the reality of the situation is that leprechauns sound like him

>>146233404
I don't though

>>146233153
Celt. Please, PLEASE for the love of god record yourself saying "They're after me lucky charms!"
PLEASE

>>146233443
Get fucked.
>>146233443
Nobody says that
>>146233450
This isn't true either.
>>146233530
No.

>>146233613
Celt please

You've gotta do it man
Please

>>146233779
No.

>>146232562

you calm down fampai, I'm just coercing him to learn through tough love

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>>146232823
>he can't do both at the same time

>>146233848
why are you so angry celt

i thought british people were supposed to be pleasant and happy

>>146232041
Some of that I can agree with, but xenobio is a pretty nice job if you just want to chill out due to it being a non-crucial job if you have any miners on the station. Geneticist can also be pretty relaxed so long as medbay is well staffed and you don't have a bunch of fucking murderboners running around ruining the match because "lol, antag means grief-pass". It just really sucks when the station power goes out because nobody wants to play engineer, or a couple people are doing everything they can to save everyone in medbay to the point where people just leave and their bodies are braindead because staff can't get to them in time.

>>146227191
The Boxed x Foster suicide pact, OTP

>>146234157
If you can't pulse an apc, go grab a power cell from its public source or a couple of the restricted access ones you have access to I have zero sympathy for you. Especially because geneticists have science access and can just walk over, smash two windows and flip a table to ensure the cloners and cryo are always running.

>>146234013
Irish are naturally angry

>>146234680
>Irish are naturally angry
Might be the genetic vulnerability to haemochromatosis and lactose intolerance.

why is everyone random naming

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>>146225303
>Round 2: Tried space mining, didnt know how to use space suit, died in space.

>>146234496
I really don't see why you bothered posting such a useless comment. I know it's a low rp server, but the constant smashing of windows and breaking through walls shouldn't be something that's allowed by sec or the AI. It's damage to the station and a loss of profit. On top of that it would be a non-issue if people actually filled the necessary roles.

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>>146225303
>Round 5: So now actually some guy helps me at cargo. We agree to some scientist who wants us to order stun batons and armor. Then we get searched by security. Then the gravity fails, then o2. So this guy got me a suit and explained how to use o2 mask. I suffocate anyway, he gets me back to life. He basically drags me along for 30 minutes and i try to die many times because of stupidity. In the end he puts me in the escape pod. He also saves a corgi. In the escape pod i forget to take off my o2 mask. I suffocate while arriving at central command.
>
>What the hell am i supposed to be doing.
Dying, trying not to die, following the loose framework your job provides to have fun, trying not to die, dying, hoping you don't die, eat busta nuts, die

>>146230883
Senaat is the muslim manlet, right?

some of the most experienced players play assistant.
They spend a lot of their time fucking around in the bar and generally being annoying
They don't really do jobs that help the station because they are all fuckwits,
BUT they will be more than willing to show you the ropes.
find one and tell them it's your first day in spess

>>146235704
Fucking this. I did the dumb thing and hopped into Colonial Marines server on day 1. Pomf Serbian will train you well.

>>146235058
Cool, call me when we're living in a perfect world. There's a reason a lot of technically crime gets hand waved.

>>146235704
>tfw help as assistant but nobody ever notices
Feels bad man

Naomi a qt.

>>146236252
>nobody will ever call your static a qt
Why fucking play.

>>146236103
na bro, i never forgot about the guy who came in and cleaned the brig for me

>randomly blow up as a borg again
>MMI has a different name
???????????

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>lynch mob: the round
WHO'S NEXT

>>146235392
>manlet
Senaat is tall as fuck

>>146236468
people only call their own characters cute to see if people agree with them.

amelia a qt

>>146236774
Everyone got random names that round.

dude who was walling me out of an escape pod as non-antag,
you are a giant faggot.

>unrobustly storm the shuttle with a shotgun i found
>beaten down immediately in the doorway
>deathgasp for effect and wait in the pile of dead bodies
>the ERT guarding the door walks off
>flip his barricade and grab my shotgun
>SECOND WIND!
>immediately die

that ERT escape shuttle defense was amusing

>that alien queen robusting the fuck out of the ERT

>that glorious ERT defense
we got robusted by a xeno, but we DID only have one egun each
HOLD
THE
LINE

>>146236886
No you, Pods are killboxes. Securing yourself is the only way to make it.

>>146236826
>half Moroccan
>tall
Man, those Dutch genes are stronk.

>>146236828
>tfw some call me cute, some call me handsome
Not sure how to feel.

>>146236930
>mob that cant slip and kills pretty much instantly kills a bunch of people surrounded by space lube
yea, robust is the right word lol

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>Assistant breaks into botany and tries to steal seeds
>Wont leave
>Trip, forcefeed 50u sleep toxins
>Nighty nighty sweet friend.

>>146236468
I think your character is qt :3
>>146236252
She gave me a damn Dragunov on the colonial server.

>Have multiple stolen identities as well as a stunprod and a pneumatic cannon set up to instakill the target in case I get targeted
>Never get targeted
>Instead, get killed by a bomb in escape right after they were done selecting targets
At least I got to use my favorite weapon in the game to collect a few valids.

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>no special event where this ship appears and the crew has to board it or destroy the hull
>the final boss music plays while this happens
>once a large portion of it is destroyed multiple lasers shoot from the core
DO IT

>>146236987
>you're all no top of me while im on creatine
>THIS IS IT
>TIME FOR THE WORD THAT TRIGGERS PACID SMOKE
>say the wrong word
>before i realize it to say the right one i being to stutter
FUCK

>>146237079
>board it
>kill all the NPCs
>the AI takes over
FUCK YOU FTL, FUCK YOUR BULLSHIT

>>146236995
Puting up a wall is one thing. It keeps out xenos and such.
But when a player is trying to get in you don't keep them out.
Unless you are some sort of nigger.

>>146237034
What'd he even want that you wouldn't share for some autism project?

>>146237168
It's a lot easier for an antag to secure greentext in a pod, and they'll put you down and it won't be nothin personnel but you'll die

>>146237154
The way to do it is to kill the whole crew EXCEPT the one manning the laser... or whichever weapon is in the middle two but isn't the missile. I forget.

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>>146237154
You dumb fuck, it's doing you a favor.
If you killed all the crew, then there's nothing to stop your boarding crew.
They can tear down the weapons effortlessly from inside.
It's the only way to win without hull-damaging weapons, too.

>>146236930
we ran out of weapons of any use. i had that one stun baton but lost it in the lube slide. forgot magboots > lube or could have put on the one pair i saw

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>>146237134
>before i realize it to say the right one i being to stutter
what

>>146237168
Yes you do. Only antags and scrubs who depressurize and otherwise fuck up the pod are the ones trying to get in. You'll understand when you're older.

>>146237292
being beaten to death makes you stutter in ss13 because pain mechanics

>>146237292
You stutter when you're on crit or near crit due to pain.
I've actually not tested if painkillers prevent that.

>>146237292
stuttering the activation word doesnt work

>>146237134
Gringo, I set my code to 55 precisely because you can stutter it out.

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>>146237252
>playing on anything except hard

>>146237368
they do, tramadol has no overdose limit

>>146237414
TRIGGERED

>>146237414
Hardmode hasn't always existed, you know

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>>146237517
Here's something to untrigger you

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>>146237414
>miss miss miss miss

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>>146238663

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Being able to play as Ian when?

>>146237825
SHAKE THAT PARANOIA

>>146239091
ahelp it and we'll drag you in. it even has a hud

Anybody have that imgur album of that former squad guy talking about the shit they did to their interns (like N3X15) and some of their junior devs?

>>146239952
what happened to N3X15? does he still work on the code?

>>146240196
Nah, he was just an intern for them and they barely fucking paid him and fired him after he finished this big thing for him.

>>146240312
damn, that sucks. where is he now anyway? does he still work on ss13?

>>146240431
nah he ragequit us a while back, dunno what he's doing now.

>>146240431
>>146240529
He's somewhere in a trailer park in the Seattle area, last I checked.

>>146240581 (You)

>>146240581
ebin

>>146240581
>No tables

>>146240581
>you will never be as robust as the friggen Sawbones
why live

>>146240581
What is the context of this webm

>>146240882
Russians

>>146240882
some drunk whores wouldnt get off this russians property so he fought them off

hey its me
am i admin yet

>>146240967
yeah just need ur ckey bro

>>146241031
zealotron
im the friggen sawbones!

>>146241170
ok check ur inbox

>>146239952
>>146240196
https://imgur.com/a/9Lf86 here's what I was looking for though

>>146241191
oh shit thanks
im admin now guys, the reign of sawbones has begun

>>146240529
he's one of the devs for the game From the Depths

>>146241337
Bote

>>146242457
Gote

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>>146242651
Flower is better

>>146240581
I didn't know sawbones was three people

>>146242651
Mote

>>146242732
But they're the same
>>146242738
A+

>>146242651
Shota

what a boring round

>Traders assaulting station with their filthy grubby grabhands
>On a rampage against non humans stealing our jobs and goods
>Kill 2 plasma men, some vox, and disposal a vox into a disposal loop
>Tracking another vox
>Tricky pricky'd and decapitated by a white man who later gets slam jammed into a wall and doesn't even treat it after killing me when I had magboots and a full medkit.
Race traitors are what have brought NT and the syndicate down.

>A round of double agents has ended - 38 survivors, 10 ghosts.
lul

>Rastus wasnt an antag

oh boy

>>146242773
My milf senses were tingling, did somebody say shota?

>>146242817
my bad
>change identity
>do nothing for a while
>chloral target once they've gotten comfortable with me being near them
>behead
>continue doing nothing

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>tfw enjoy being a spacemen
>look at clock
>its time for bed
>wageslavemen tommorow
WageSlave Men every day

>tfw you will never be a full time space man doing space stuff

For anyone who wondered, the robotist emagged me while I was making the thing in front of medbay, sorry if I made it look like ashe did it. It wasnt me who plasma flooded, it was robo making a burn chamber in tele.

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>antags who don't force a shuttle call after completing objectives

Jesus christ the fucking set ups for the hydro rooms are awful. Its like the mapper didn't give a fuck and just threw shit everywhere.

>>146243132
Which map and where

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>>146242771
Flower is still better

>>146242835
I lased a race traitor slut

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>>146242986
>full time space man doing space stuff
I did it for a while, it's glorious in a depressing way

>tfw filled out a w-9 today
>tfw betrayed NEET kind
>tfw i might find happiness as a normie

>>146242835
>dragged a piano away
>You agree with the emagged borg that I should be gassed
>emagged borg punches me in the nuts until I die
>live again
>my vox crew are dead
>go to confront you about this
>you shove me in the wild ride for shits and giggles
>weren't even a traitor
I realise Vox traders aren't crew but you told a borg to go kill me for dragging a piano away.

SO SORRY TO THE PEOPLE I DRAGGED INTO THE ROD.

>>146243108
>not calling the shuttle right before you begin your murderbone spree, and sparing those who make it on board
Go home jack

>vox steals the fucking piano
>bring it in
>hos and acting captain are slow as molasses
>borg just takes the vox away without a command and wont respond to orders to come back
>it reappears with the trader dead
>"who killed, it was it you"
>"no the captain"
>talk to the captain about this
>he DOESNT GIVE A SHIT
>get it to cloning
>mommis and rogue borgs
>AI which wasnt rogue ignores me
>power goes out, immovable rod drains all air
>see a normal MMI getting a roboticist to change its battery, absolutely disgusting
>captain chimes in and wants all traders banished
>go to medbay, cloned trader is salty about me
>someone slips him and puts him in an infinite trash loop
>suddenly i need to bring a miner for questioning
>suddenly a rod kills the vox chaplain
>someone dies in medbay via SPS, nobody cares and I cant find anyone
>captain fighting a cloned trader for some reason, apparently the other was killed and cloned too
>HoS vox joins in, doesn't even know where toxin is
>trader took the captain's ID and tried to get the AI to bully me
>chaplain vox kills an officer in security and i arrest him
>round ends
i hate everything

>>146243108
honest to god I would have done something interesting but I lost my PDA with lots of telecrystals left

>tfw i stole the jukebox and got away from it while a vox that stole the piano got arrested

>>146243332
Oh shit, got your name mixed up with some other officer.
AI didn't bully you anyway, you were fine.
Whoever shoved my in the wold ride and laughed was who I meant.

>>146243410
humans love their vox bully valids
I have gotten killed for stealing the clowncart when there wasn't even a clown

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>second time as security
>mouse keeps disconnecting and jumping
>can't hit anyone
>get my ass handed all the time

Well, no more security roles for me I guess.

>>146243440
After having to drag the miner in I remembered you should be in the loop still but you weren't there anymore. Guessing that another vox rescued you.
I'm the guy that arrested you for the piano, I never expected the other officer and the captain to be complete shit nor the borg to be all rogue.

If the guy that slapped you in an infinite loop wasn't antag and really killed random vox you should make a forum ban request.

>>146243332
G A S T H E V O X

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>>146219739
>TFW get lonely in hydro
>Go to bar
>Xenobotanist in bartender area for some reason
>Put carrot down, and tell her I'll be right back
>Go get lighter
>Come back
>Xenobotanist has eaten carrot
>OH GOD
>Carrot is full of thermite, and causes mild brain damage
>Xeno: I was hungry.
>carrot?

L...llook at things before you eat them people

rastus bannu'd when

>>146243670
Rastus is kek worthy, try shitting around with him and griffing vox sometime

>>146243617
I think the borg killed my vox crew but someone shoved me in infinite loop after I went up to the officer and went "YOU"
According to your story though, half the station was acting pretty fucking shitty.

>>146243617
>you should make a forum ban request.
check out this dumbass that thinks ban requests actually work and aren't immediatey closed for METAGRUDGING.

>>146243759
They were. Some dipshit in medical built a cannon and was running around shooting things, then he blew himself up.

>>146242941
Durgen, why the fuck do you have antag on then? At least the rest of us were antagonizing you bag of holding faggot.

HOW DOES ONE HAVE FUN AS BARTENDER
OR RATHER GET GOOD

The icon to turn on a plasmaman clown helmet is fucking terrifying
And Iike clowns.
When can we make the on-character sprite as scary as the icon?

>>146243907
Learn to talk to crew members, carry conversation, and coax roleplay out of them even if they think they can't RP

>>146243617
Ban requests take quite a bit of effort. If you want to compile a respectable amount of evidence via logs it usually takes 30mins - 1 hour.

Then the admins deliberate for a few days to weeks.

It's too slow of a process to be worth it to be honest.

>>146243907
REFORM THE BAR INTO A HUGE CASINO!
Then nobody comes in because when you're done 80% of the crew is dead and shuttle is arriving.

>>146243857
Sheeeit.
Sorry for telling the AI to bully you by the way, mistaken identity.

The majority of sec team was against the vox from the borg lying about us breaking into T storage and most of sec's natural murderous nature, and I guess you gotta get valids somehow. Think the borg did all the killing though.

>>146243660
You have no fucking idea.
People will eat ANYTHING in this game.
I put "glowberries?" around to light up the place during a powerout event
People BROKE IN to eat them out of the floor
I was yelling at them not to eat the fucking GLOWING BERRIES
Even more people walked in through the broken windows to eat them

In another occasion there was a random event tomato kudzu that had radium in it. The kudzu got kind of out control so there were floor tomatoes everywhere.
I yelled over the radio for people to not eat the tomatoes.
I yelled about eight times in total.
People would keep eating the tomatoes and then screaming that the tomatoes were poisonous.
And yet more people would eat them.

Yet another time I was growing exotic seeds, the chef makes a carrot? jelly which ends up having something bad, I don't even remember anymore. The chaplain gets mad as fuck about this and breaks my front windows. I ask for an engineer to fix them, a naked Diona shows up with reinforced glass and goes OH LOOK FLOOR CHANTERELLE MUSHROOMS?
I tell him not to eat them
>"its fine I'm immune to toxins lol"
>takes two bites
>immediately falls unconscious
>can't wake him up
I threw him in medbay and never saw him again

>>146243285
Uh. What part of you are not crew do you not understand. You are a foreign faction who has illegally left arrivals and are stealing our shit. If some rapefugee is in your house at 3 am eating your fridge do you tolerate it? Fuck no.

If you mean the pipes, I was a double agent
I killed some other vox that were actual crew too because of the actions of your people

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>>146243907
>make doctors delights
>turn every one into cybernetic horrors.

>>146244147
>a bartender making nanobots
That'll be the day

>>146243907
There's a ton of ways to play it. Do literally whatever you want.

my favorite bartender round I made a food delivery system with the chef where I delivered pastries and Joe/Gryo to the crew because it's taxi and fuck riding a taxi for some nutriment.

Shortly after admins spawned massive amounts of cyber horror and it turned into a horror film. I died to gibbing from too much nanomachines trying to rescue my most valued customer's head after I'd cleared the area of cyberhorrors with lethals in my shotty

>>146243332
I think the AI was super AFK or something.

>>146244037
That's not me, I didn't even know what those explosions were.

But yeah the only productive departments were botany and medbay (poor lone CMO).
Science somewhat, but they ignored me to handle the rogue silicons all on their own so I could never check on the other rogue sec borg.

>>146244118
>double agent
Ah right. Gittttt.

You take em in as prisoners of war and beat them when the Captain's not looking.
Or just mercilessly beating them and putting them back on the shuttle in a cage. Not telling the borg to remove you from the round via cremation.
You were double agent so fine.

>eating your fridge
I'd run. I'd fucking run.

>>146244214
where do you even get nanite?

>>146244364
Grind up roburgers

>>146243907
Be a mechanic and take the ghetto bar vendor to wherever for a super bar

Make a visual spectacle

Work with the chef and botanists to make full meals according to a theme or drag some assistants and mechanics in to load food with healing chems.

Tell stories and otherwise socially engage them.

Arguably, run a to-order service with telescience, cargo, or assistants to deliver food to people too busy to give a shit. Use pda messages so you actually grab the attention of people with console screens all over their chat.

Fill two boxes with booze, go get metal for lethals from cargo and a medibot. Follow sec being their patrol buddy

>>146244049
I know right? I spliced a fuckton of toxins into golden apples as a botanist and just kept putting various golden apple food on the chef's tables. People ate it and died then blamed the chef. Eventually an angry assistant went and spaced him. I forgot to ahelp the muhvalids tard.

>>146244341
I was gonna cage some when I had time to go get the plasteel, straight jacket and muzzle but I got lelpricked and that was the end of that.

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>be blatantly rogue secborg
>trying to convince fellow officers that we should gas the vox
>they're trying to figure out what they should do
>slowly start dragging the vox away
>"Borg, what are you doing"
>"just going to clean the incinerator, nothing unusual"
>"alright"
>mfw
>double mfw they were all surprised when the vox was fucking dead
>triple mfw sec officer who said "ok" asks me who killed the vox when I'm dragging it's corpse and I casually tell him it was than captain and he believes me

What is the recipe for MoMMI Spaghetti?

Who here thinks clicking a sprite until it turns 90 degrees is the pinnacle of gameplay design?
*raises paw*
:3c

>>146245147
See >>146243332

AI didn't care, captain didn't care, HoS didn't care. You were obvious as fuck but no one in power did anything.
I gave up, then the lesbians at RnD said they blew you up and I just kept going.

>>146245271
pipe solidplasma flour in the microwave.

>>146245754
1 pipe, 1 sheet of plasma and 5u flour?

>>146245850
It's 3 pipes, 2 plasma, 15 flour

can I come back to the discord yet?

>>146245907
ok cool, thanks

TIME FOR CRAB

>>146245979
MEGAMADMOMMI when?

>>146246045
It would be the best roundtype.

Time to leave
them
all
beHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!

>>146245850
Other dude's jerking your chain. Just 1 pipe, 1 sheet, and 5 flour.

>>146246278
Just saying, if you break into chemistry, I'm fucking cutting your head off and melting it.

>You are the Paramedic
>It's Christmas!
>Me and a surgeon are the only med staff
>Santa is here! You get 5 presents from santa
>So many food and a space bear hat
>Go back to medbay
>We got a CMO, surgeon nowhere. People with low tox and brute come in a steady rate
>A burning plasmamen, with no suit!
>Dead people everywhere and the cloner rejects half of them
>Non staff blocking my every move
>Thinking about giving up and drowning myself in ethanol
>No, I got a purpose!
>Dead guy with 85 tox and 200 oxy damage
>And no blood apparenty, but still has a pulse!
>Cloner used by 3 other man, I will save you!
>Pump him with anti tox and a dex+
>Put in sleeper, he already dead! No
>Resuscitate and give him bicard for his burns
>Get more dex+ but there is no iron in the chem fridge
>CMO got the IV, we might save him!
>CMO constantly shit talking behind me, dead people everywhere
>IV runs out and only 30% blood, still no iron, losing atmos and fire walls close everywhere
>Shuttle called 2 minutes to arrive, big explosion somewhere
>It's time to go, suit up and run for it
>Except the escape is PLASMA, decide on arrivals pods and leg it
>Get a look at the new observatory that was Sec 3 minutes ago as the shuttle arrives
>Firelocks are down and refuse to give way, air lockers looted
>See a crowbar in pod bay, break window and get blown the fuck back by ZAS
>Get up, snatch dat fukken crowbar and finally reach the pods
>One of them closed the other is full, Felicity comes out of the closed ones and drags me in
>We break physics as a 2 man pod launches with the 4 of us, me Felicity and 2 others
>Feel the adrenalin settle down as we are reaching centcomm
>Felicity Rivera extends a proboscis!
>"OH GOD!

I want off the wild ride.

>>146246527
If you're calling a late joining vox the CMO that was me. At least I don't remember someone with a blue coat that round.
To me it looked like you were just defibbing a man with very low blood non-stop so he kept racking up toxin damage.

By the way, when blood is really low that happens, toxins rises up like crazy on top of suffocation.

People kept stealing my IVs that were on him, too. When he was finally out of critical blood levels in the shuttle he gave up and ghosted out.

There really needs to be a better way to do deal with people bleeding out
Even with iron and an IV, if they're less than 60% blood you might as well clone them seeing as how slow blood is gained
And that's assuming he's not still bleeding out

>>146246887
I know you didn't mean it, but the queue to the cloner was long and I did give him like 30u anti tox. Medbay just can't operate with 2 people.
It was fun anyway.
Why does the cloner refuse people anyway?

>>146247105
The first thing was to stop the bleeding of course but the cloner was choke full with dead and alive waiting to clone alike.

>>146245928
never

>>146247157
Yeah sorry about all that, playing medbay actually made me have less patience when bodies pile up and shitters keep breaking in even though I want to help new people.
I should really just speedclone everyone, no one is going to be glad that you didn't clone them after all.

If you get mental interface failure, the player is offline or respawned as another being in the round. If the message tells you to try again in 5-seconds it means that they're connected and controlling their ghost and it gives them a warning to join their body.
Post-cloning initialization failure or something close to that means you are trying to clone someone who's still alive from a backup file.
And there's a kooky message about no DNA being present when they got succ'd by a changeling, only a brain transplant into a non-sucked body or borging can get the player back.

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>tfw I just thought of an antag gimmick that will make deadchat go wild

>>146247642
Mah nigga.

>>146247575
Linging also gives MIF.

>>146236252
Who is this?

>>146237062
I've never played on that server, unless you mean Naomi James whom I don't think plays anymore.

>>146248293
Linging also should give MtF

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>medbay that round
you excuses CMO and i hope the other people were new

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>Try AI
>Fail to set up a chess tournament
>Fail to protect my son, Sawbones
>Fail to protect my loyal elven subject after being crowned king of the elves
>Succeed in killing all non-elves with my wizard powers
>My wizard powers were actually the singulo
That was way too fun

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>peacefully growing super bananas with my botanist bro
>we have glowing purple and yellow apples and carnivorous bananas filled with mercury
>chef keeps muttering things while putting a bunch of candles on his table and lighting them
>once the candles go out he comes at us with a cleaver and rolling pin
>disarm, corner him in between the door to hydro and the kitchen
> he brought in two welder fuel tanks beforehand
>OH SHI-
Good stuff.

>>146247575
>>146246527

I know that feeling all too well. I was the CMO from the round mentioned in >>146244298 . It's absolute hell trying to run medbay when you have no staff and shitheads that have no business being in the medbay keep blocking you. Unfortunately I doubt the argument that them actively or passively hindering your attempts to save lives makes them enemies of the station will fly with the admins if you decide to forcefully remove them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHo7npmGcHU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhZBDNQ3gas

>>146249190
listen you tried your best and I'm proud of you dad

>>146249531
>there are people playing right now who did not know the source of these songs.

>>146249582
it depresses me it reminds me of the times when I was new and those lobby music played well I slowly waited for the round to start. Now the flame is gone and its all shit, the community is also shit.

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>>146249190

All hail the Elf King!

>>146249698
Go away Hitler!

>>146247105
use two iv's at the same time. duh.

you're exaggerating how bad it is. 60% blood? give them 5 units of dex and a blood bag. In 30 seconds they'll be back to 90-100% blood.

medbay is so speed oriented that 30 seconds is a huge deal. this is wrong.

it takes as much time to give someone blood at 60% as it would to do surgery.

>nobody is online and our base got blown up by some fags because we didn't upgrade walls

>Get flashed and emagged at less than 5 mins to round end.
>Bwoinks roll in after docking.
It was fair play, and a person finally did it the right way. Flash (reapply it every 6 seconds), emag, bar, emag. Too bad it was at round end and I lost my complete stamp collection to singulo.

>>146250034
Fuck off with this metaclub not-space-station bullshit

>>146250190
Bwoinks were to figure out what the other MoMMI was doing, not you. Why would we bwoink you for being emagged?

>>146250475
Softdi walked over and wiggled on the person attempting to emag it after that person was aired. Then after being emagged refused to follow the one order Felicity issued to it and let her die without attempting to save her.

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>>146250475
Even the admin gets in trouble

>>146250609
then fucking ban them

>>146250908
I ahelped but no admins checked up on that particular matter.

>>146251082
I'm looking into the MoMMI right now.

>>146251082
make a ban request then, because I doubt the admins are doing anything besides "looking into it"

Player controlled domesticated slimes are pretty much just a cute easter egg accrued after ages of fucking around in Xenobio.

How would you go about making them beneficial to the station or a specific job, a la Dionae Nymphs?

>>146251305
Become food by the chef.

>>146251305
they have free will and can fuck people up without getting bwoinked
but only if they were forced to be a slime
they can probably just be assholes

>>146251382

How about you can milk them for cherry jelly if you interact with a container in hand on help intent?

>>146251494
I remember having a slime jelly in one of the plants from the exotic seeds crate, what does that do?

>>146251202
Job bans won't show on the ban panel, but it's been dealt with.

>>146251673
Huge toxins to nonslimes.

>>146251202
Looking into it is just a generic term we have to give to avoid giving you IC information through ahelps.

It means you should assume nothing more than we are aware. I am always torn wanting to give players more information about a situation and not giving them round information that would give them an unfair gain over the other players.

This is why you get an especially stiff response when you phrase something badly like "Is x an antag?"

>>146251673
Kills the shit out of people.

>>146251717
Halp! Test dummy shot an immoveable rod at me. Is he antag? Can you please ban that hacker? :<

>>146251715
>>146251721
Time to griff!

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>>146251832
It was a bug.

>cat beasts get more speed and added to starting species but are still valid
>plasmamen can only get created by injecting 50u plasma
>skeletonism can be achieved by filling cryo with a 100u beaker of poly acid
>grays can leak acid from their finger
>slimes get added to round start, deal clone damage with melee attacks and take 1.5x damage from brute
>lizardmen can be gotten by filling cryo with 100u radium
>diona adults get .5 health back of the damage done from punching
y/n

>>146250609
Make a ban request.

>>146251953
Fuck off

>>146223860
Absolution has Orks&Goblins and other shit

>>146251953
>Slime taking damage from brute
wat, also monkey start when?

>>146252084
more brute damage taken to make it balanced since their only weakness will be a extinguisher or a temp gun
half of the water from a spray already deals 30 toxin damage

>>146252084
Never. Not being able to speak without methylin just makes more griff than it's worth.

>>146251953
n. 3-4 punches to permanently stun someone is busted as fuck. We don't need more stupid shit.

>>146252263
okay how about if a slime person uses stun gloves it deals burn damage and heals them for a little bit of health

>>146252263
Monkeys can't talk galactic common with meth, just understand it.

>>146252263
>The dream of being monkey MD will never be real

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4KB, 207x160px

>>146252407
Fucking git out reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>146252443
It takes 2 minutes in genetics and chem.

>>146251953
>Catbeasts
Yes and remove the tripping from fur

>Plasmamen
>Depressing purple skeletons born from a burning hell
Roundstart or created from a plasma fire

>Skeletonism
Poly acid will melt your bones too. Make it they can be created by being skinned from the chef.

>Grey
Neutral

>Slimes
Remove the brute and double the damage from fire extinguishers

>Lizardmen
Neutral

>Diona
Neutral

>tfw cultist victory and fuck up centcomm

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24KB, 333x406px

>>146252443
Make Methylin
Hydrogen, Chlorine, Ethanol, and flourine as a catalyst
Monkey yourself/get someone else to by radiating the last block(55) to be less than 802
Dose yourself with methylin and keep it under 15u to be a little monkey fella what was doing the surgery innit

Why is the server named Serbian?

I've been here on and off for years and I never gleamed that bit of vgstation lore.

>>146254292
server
serv
serb
serbian

>put medical on high because i want to turn someone into a living husk
>CULT
>need to sacrifice the clown
>ask the clown if he wants to become a husk, he agrees
>do everything right, back him up, burn him up evenly while he has dex+ and use advanced burn kits until he's lower than 200 burn again
>put IVs around him to give him blood since husk zeroes the blood
>IVs don't work, you can't even inject blood back in husks
>just sacrifice him and plan on converting his clone
>can't convert the clone because he was the sacrifice target
>kill and try to soulstone him
>can't do it either
I'M SO SORRY BUS STATION