What did he mean by this? https://soundcloud.com/totalbiscu

Context: "A satire of things this person actually said about a videogame they are utterly hopeless at, despite being a games journalist for 18 years... somehow
Script is a satire of this article - https://venturebeat.com/2017/08/24/cuphead-hands-on-my-26-minutes-of-shame-with-an-old-time-cartoon-game/
followed by this social media post from Dean.
https://twitter.com/AVENGEDOG/status/904474262601437184"
Also, Cuphead gameplay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=848Y1Uu5Htk

>>389455614
Why is he being retarded? That guy is a games business reporter and only played Cuphead because he was the only reporter for his outlet there. They uploaded the video to laugh at how bad he was at the game.

>>389455786
the cancer meds are making his brain go probs

>>389455786
Shhhh, you're getting in the way of manufactured outrage

>>389455614
But what does he think about traps being homosexual?

>>389455786
They retconned their title after people shat on it.

It was legitimate coverage initially.

>>389455923
Traps aren't gay

File: vivian.jpg (181KB, 680x1176px) Image search: [Google]

181KB, 680x1176px

>>389455786
But... t-the fire rises, Anon...

>>389456352
They changed it a few minutes after uploading it before the massive spergout. An employee discusses it here:

www.reddit.com/r/pcgaming/comments/6y6tpg/a_games_journalist_plays_the_cuphead_tutorial/dmll835/

>>389455786
They edited the video title. It was originally put up as preview/critical piece and the dude playing blamed the game in his written preview on the Venture Beat website. He admonished the game for being too hard and leaving behind those who are not good enough like himself. He also complained about enemies on dying when you jump on them like mario.

>>389455614
>he's okay with making fun of a clearly mentally retarded minority
>but he throws someone out of his event for asking if traps are gay
hmmmmm

>>389455614
Tb is correct. It's like reviewing a car without knowing how to drive. The games ((journalist)) couldn't even fucking complete a basic jump in the tutorial.

>>389456505
>Guys we did it before people started giving us shit for it, we promise
Oh yea, nothing like a corporate shill

>>389456714
this

>>389455786
>games business reporter that doesn't actually play games
oh ok, that makes it better then

File: 1366864542894.png (36KB, 156x169px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 156x169px

>/v/ hates Totalbiscuit
I pity you fools, his channel/podcast are good shit

>>389455614
>8:52
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsTKEyhajUo

>>389456914
he ironically is one of the few youtube/twitch channels that's pro consumer.

>>389455614
See? THAT is a reasonable approach to this whole thing. Laugh it off

>>389455614
Why does he still pretend like he's relevant?

>>389456914
I'll never understand how people can sit and listen to a narcissistic asshole ramble for 2+ hours.

>>389457060
judging by his looks, he's more pro-consumption

Why is he not dead yet? Shouldn't he be dead right now? Can he just die already?

>>389457060
>Have to pay to see his past streams
>pro consumer

Think again.

>>389457223
something something US election something

>>389455786
>this is the extent /v/ will go to just to hate on TB
Dean is a PROFESSIONAL gamer. He plays games FOR A LIVING. He has absolutely no excuse for playing as badly as he did.

>>389457289
Are you comparing it to Trump? I don't understand.

>>389457354
this tbqh senpai

>>389457354
TB plays things just as fucking badly, not to mention his series is based around playing the easiest portion of the game every time so he never has to display his incredible lack of co-ordination

Irony is the rick and morty of entertainment
Who the fuck would watch four minutes of le ebin cancer man spout shit from his mouth-asshole?

>>389456505
>He prefers narrative-driven games like Uncharted/The Last of Us
This explains so much. He's only used to movies, games are new to him.

>>389457240
Apparently he's in the 5% of people who don't die from metastatic liver cancer within a year

so he's probably got another good 4 to 5 years before the cancer pops in his less resilient organs, man's got one hell of a liver on him though, I'll give him that

>>389455758
I love how his peers tried to defend him with the whole "a-actually he's an economist haha"

>>389455758
>game jurnalist for 18 years

yeah but i haven't fucken heard of him. this is some weird click-bait story that i can't quite figure out.

too fucking retarded to not be intentional

>>389455614
All e-celebs are cancer. Quarantine board when?

>>389457256
They're all uploaded to an unofficial stream channel, run by a fan. He even mentions that his streams are available there.

>>389457706
/v/ is DSP's board

This was obviously scripted
Who the fuck even heard of venturebeat before this?

File: 1497892006078.webm (522KB, 720x720px) Image search: [Google]

522KB, 720x720px

e celebs are not video games

>>389456914
No
The podcast is fucking shit : the guest might as well not be there since they don't let them actually talk much unless it's one of their buttbuddies like dodger's husband or crendor, and it's just the same three faces filling time with digressions on anime and going through shitty sale lists to pad out the runtime to three hours
you could get the same experience in an hour and a half, it's literally people in love with their own voice going for it for far too long

TB's "first impressions" are hit and miss with a lot of miss when he ventures out of option menus, see his defending of Andromeda or him missing the point about Titanfall 2 and getting assblasted over the flak he got

The rest are opinion pieces where TB channels his best Sterling impressions and retreads the grounds of common sense and non controversial arguments everyone with a brain came up with hours ago, when he's commenting shit like non disclosure about marketing schemes or the shitty squeenix preorders

Worthless

File: 1358820407255.gif (621KB, 440x247px) Image search: [Google]

621KB, 440x247px

>>389457631
He was the guy who put out a review of Mass Effect 3 right before it launched, in which he leveled up ZERO ABILITIES of Shepard or anyone else. It wasn't until someone posted it as a response to his review, then he made an addendum saying "ohhh wow the game is much more fun now!"

He has now totally outed himself as a fraud and injured what little integrity the field of game journalism has left (which isn't much), and then he has the balls to blame the game/tutorial in his review as to why he played poorly instead of just saying "Haha guys I suck right?"

So yea, pretty much fuck Dean

>>389456914
Yeah, but are traps gay? :^)

File: z2bhb5mz34jz.jpg (1MB, 3024x4032px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3024x4032px

>>389458386
fuck off jellybean

File: gaemjuhrnaeluzm.webm (2MB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 640x360px

>>389457631
Exhibit A

>make games for children
>adults who dont even like games have to write articles to make a living and they just frankly rather wrote about sarkeesians silly feminism adventures
>suprised the adults who really dont care dont experience the games the same way the games target audience does

>>389455614
>"traps are gay" is a nono
>dogpiling the guy who's shit at videogames is okay

If this was anyone but "MUH RESOLUTION OPTIONS" man i'd be okay.

>>389455786
TB is currently hated by many over the "are traps gay" shit, he is using the old tactic of attacking someone else to win back support.

It's like the unpopular kid in school bullying the retarded kids to make everyone laugh.

>>389455614
>"Traps are gay" -- YOU'RE DEAD TO ME
>"Asians can't fucking drive" -- Well said, me
this guy...

File: Afra_013.jpg (2MB, 3008x2000px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3008x2000px

>>389455786
Literal mentally handicapped people could probably get past the jumpdash bit of the tutorial faster than he did. Five year olds would breeze through it. It doesn't matter if he was a games business journalist, an e-sports star, or a god damned ditch digger, it's an abjectly terrible performance regardless.

File: a.webm (630KB, 320x320px) Image search: [Google]

630KB, 320x320px

>>389458731

>>389458217
>ywn have a cyborg gf

>>389458217
>>389459651
>your dick will never be crushed into an unusable bloody mess by your cyborg gf
WHY LIVE

File: 1476824437893.jpg (84KB, 368x368px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 368x368px

>>389456914
Britbong here. I used to love him before he went full-retard after the U.S election. He called anyone who didn't agree with his opinion a fucking idiot, one of whom happened to be his wife. All because he's still an immigrant to the U.S and can't vote yet.

>>389455786
Same individual took a piping hot dump on the original Mass Effect only to retract days later saying he had no idea you could spend upgrade points. He's been covering gaming for 16 years.

>>389455614
>Asians are bad at driving stereotype
wow racist much

>>389460423
see this
>>389456971

>>389458301
jeez, he's lucky ME3's buttfucked ending was the main controversy around that game because surely he would have been outed as some weird fucking tard a long time ago.

>>389458731
I mean look at this! The fact that he types out complete sentences forces me to refuse to believe he is that brain dead. So fucking weird. I guess the fact people are talking about him is a win for him in some short-lived way.

>>389455614
i guess you could say he got buthurt with the guy playing the game?

>>389457768
Wow so thoughtful

File: 1493903292551.gif (995KB, 257x194px) Image search: [Google]

995KB, 257x194px

I like where this thread is going.

>>389458297
I had to watch it like 5 times to understand what was going on.

File: is this dreamer serious.jpg (41KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 800x800px

>>389456914
>listening to podcasts

File: 1461530057838.jpg (18KB, 408x408px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 408x408px

>>389460648
>preaches about giving people the benefit of the doubt and trying to understand where they're coming from
>proceeds to tell his wife, friends and people across the U.S who didn't vote for Clinton that they're not welcome on his channel
works for me, he'll be dead soon anyway

File: 1482412833820.gif (2MB, 848x480px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 848x480px

>>389461547
You cannot tell me those are just muscle spasms, that eal is skinned grilled alive.

>>389461547
It takes a really suck individual to be able to cook an animal and sit there anre watch that.

>>389461682
It doesn't even have a head m8

>>389458351
I will never understand vegetarians.

File: disturbing stuff.png (179KB, 355x541px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 355x541px

>>389461547

>>389456914
Watched him since Cata videos. He always hated interactions with fans but now he goes full-apeshit on anyone that doesn't agree with him. See "Are traps gay" incident

>>389461682
It also doesn't have a head, so

>>389461576
>Left
F L A T

>>389459035
>he is using the old tactic of attacking someone else to win back support.
>You can't disagree with X person's opinion on subject A but agree with X person's opinion on subject B, you have to disagree with X person's opinions on all things entirely

Here's a life lesson, having the same opinion as someone you disagree, dislike, or even downright hate is inevitable. Better have no opinions ever.

File: 1497717026675.png (74KB, 265x294px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 265x294px

>>389461547
>>389461729
>doesn't have a head
>still moves like that

File: maxresdefault.jpg (30KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 1280x720px

>>389459338
A bird literally [LITERALLY] has better cognitive skills than Dean.

Hi, Dean! I know you're reading, so I have something i want you to know:

You are not Anthony Burch.

File: 1463179959231.png (101KB, 211x211px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 211x211px

>>389461617
AAAAHHHHH MUST BREEED

>>389461865
Fucking poser, I was using that tactic before anyone else was

>>389461682
>>389461721
It's dead you idiots, you can see that it's head was cut off.

This is what happens when you pour salt on a skinned Eal.

>>389458217
What is the thinking?

>>389461980
No it's not, not squirming that long.

It's skinned.

>>389461547
epic bost

>this gamergate shit again

It must suck being a nerd with no life and therefore nothing actually important to be mad about

>>389462129
shut up nazi

>>389461547
it's a fish, it doesn't probably even know what pain is

File: maxresdefault.jpg (47KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 1280x720px

>>389461721
>It takes a really suck individual

File: 1504593175823.jpg (19KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 480x360px

>>389462076
>head is clearly removed
>"N-no it's not"

Fuck off.

His sjw leftist outbursts on whoever didnt vore for Clinton, and that "are traps gay incident" incident are the things he will be remembered for once he kicks the bucket. Really sad, ge could have been humble and less political and ge wouldnt come out like such an asshat but i guees his meds reveal his true colors.

File: 1502765676782.webm (1MB, 720x540px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 720x540px

>>389455614
>Takahashi

>comments disabled
what a faggot

>>389457354
>Dean is a PROFESSIONAL gamer. He plays games FOR A LIVING.

no he doesn't, he writes about Nintendo's stocks and shit

File: 1478147078244.gif (1MB, 394x297px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 394x297px

>>389462298
>vore for Clinton

>>389458258
fag

>>389462436
He did that when Google decided to force its users to using Google+ in protest and still dos it today.

Not for the reasons you assume though.

>>389456914
hello reddo

>>389460935
That's a really cute dog

not true, I dont have the screenshot on me but back a few years ago, when tb was still not a leftists sjw, he posted a comment in reply to someone criticizing him in which he called the dude trash and worthless and that all of tb's subs were beneath him with how many subs he has. He's always been a cunt, its just that now its more apparent

>>389455614
Pretty good

>>389457354
The video was made as clickbait, to make money fag. The bad gameplay was fucking intentional, obviously so.

The doom one was real, then they saw how much ad-revenue money they made and how much attention it got it would be insane not to do it more.

>>389458351
Fuck im soooo hungryyyyyyy

excerpts from his WH40k Space Marine review


But the similarities between THQ’s third-person shooter game, developed by its Relic Entertainment studio, and Microsoft’s Gears of War third-person shooter series, developed by Epic Games, are just piling up by the dozen. Start with the over-sized armor and bodybuilder physiques of the marines. When you aim a gun in Space Marine, the target reticle is huge, just like the target reticle in Gears of War. The guns are huge and they feature a chainsaw blade that can be used to slice enemies in half, execution style, similar to the “chainsaw bayonet” of the Gears soldiers.

The blood spatters are also quite similar. The guns shoot in a similar fashion and the Space Marines wield a big giant hammer that resembles the blasting hammers not from Gears of War but from Microsoft’s other sci-fi franchise, Halo.

When I asked the THQ folks about this, they immediately pointed out that this game was set in the Warhammer universe, which has its own rich and original lore. In fact, this universe predates the existence of Gears of War, so you might argue that Gears of War copies Warhammer 40,000.

...

Of course, since the THQ guys had a handy explanation of the difference so readily available, it seemed like they knew they were going to get asked that question.

The bad guys are the green Ork enemies from the Warhammer world, and they bear no resemblance to the enemies in Gears of War, except that they make loud grunts. Of course, their very name does bear resemblance to the “orcs” in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, but we’ll ignore that for now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3TKK1pIc2s

>>389463602
>600 views
kill yourself and your ugly kid, shill

>>389463747
I wish I had a kid

>>389455758
>>389458731
someone needs to make a "wait a minute that card" montage of this

>>389463602
There's no recovering from this.

>>389463102
Binder has 4 rings, paper has 3 holes.

>>389463217
the stars are the markers?

File: cuphead_4yold.jpg (211KB, 1309x866px) Image search: [Google]

211KB, 1309x866px

LOL LOL LOL

DEAN TAKAHASHI BEAT BY 4 YEAR OLD

YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3TKK1pIc2s

>>389456914
I will now talk about what I ate for breakfast for just over 183 minutes.

File: 1481694866183.webm (934KB, 688x720px) Image search: [Google]

934KB, 688x720px

>>389465506
kill yourself and your ugly fucking kid you loser

>>389461737
>but now he goes full-apeshit on anyone that doesn't agree with him.
He's always been like that. Always thought he was a cunt ever since he made his debut on WoW radio. It was inevitable TB would constantly sperg out once he became a big e-celeb fighting internet battles on all fronts with everyone.

>>389463140
>>389463176
okay i give up, what's the answer to these two

File: 1351814242879.jpg (107KB, 500x903px) Image search: [Google]

107KB, 500x903px

>>389455786
My 8 year old self got through sections like he went past on Cuphead or harder in SNES platformers like DKC 1/2/3, SMW, etc, there's zero fucking excuse for a grownup to play that badly, even if he wasn't pretending to be a non-gaming journalist.

FUCKING 8 YEAR OLD

I hardly ever watch TB but I watched a few minutes his No Mans Sky stream to see the hype of how shit it was and he was going through all the items and saying "uhh what does this do, how do i know what any of this stuff is for?" and ignoring all the item descriptions. Dude is retarded.

>>389466261
Honey comes from the bees processing the nectar after ingesting it, it doesn't come from the flowers themselves. Not sure about the pearl one yet.

>>389466261
>>389463140
I guess flowers don't have honey in them, only nectar. But the machine could still turn that into honey so idk

>>389463176
clams don't grow pearls very often, oysters are the stereotypical pearl producers, so I guess that's it

>>389463176
Clams don't exist in the south pacific

>>389465506
Yeah, that kid wasn't told what to say before the video. Parents exploiting their children on Youtube for internet points are disgusting.

>>389455786
> That guy is a games business reporter

Why did he just release a Knack II review if he's only a business reporter?

>>389460935
I was walking home last week at night and a fucking Fox starting following me. Whenever I turned my back to him he got closer and closer. I tried to scared him away but the fucker was not impressed.

I am a city guy living in the suburbs for the first time so I don't know if they are dangerous or they carry diseases or something. I got kinda scared because it was too dark and I know he had better vision than me.

>>389466043
This, he used to post on the WoW forums all the time. He was an arrogant twat who thought way too highly of himself and would put forward his opinions in the most inflammatory way possible while his fans constantly sucked him off. He was a cunt back then and 10+ years later in his 30s he's still a cunt.

>>389463268
She was at cassandras house

File: tl-crop.png (84KB, 235x244px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 235x244px

>>389455614
I was actually expecting TB to go a little easy on this guy, being someone who's self-proclaimed to being bad at video games (he's not nearly as bad at games as this of course).
Nope.
Surprised. Not disappointed though. That was a fun listen.

File: 1499375017104.png (530KB, 1000x1500px) Image search: [Google]

530KB, 1000x1500px

>>389458217
>>389458297
>modeling agencies will soon offer large sums of money to attractive women if they willingly have limbs amputated to show off a new product
What a time to be alive

>>389456914
/v/'s hated him for years. It's just been a thing. If you ever saw his Youtube comments before he disabled them, most of the obvious shitposting there is /v/.

And they've been given more reason lately, thanks to the Coxcon incident, where TB was pretty much objectively kind of an ass.

>>389460423
That was all some crazy wrong-ness, for sure. Then again I can't fault anyone who's reason for acting out is 'I'm mad at Trump'

>>389469307
And just imagine how much money people are going to spend on artificial limbs. After they, you know, amputate themselves.
You can't make a more perfect business.

>>389456914
He literally wished some of his fans to get cancer and die. Why would anyone who isn't mentally retarded still like this guy?

I thought he was supposed to die. What's the cancer doing? Hurry up

File: BegoneKnave-GLD2-EN-C-LE.jpg (101KB, 400x582px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 400x582px

>>389456914

File: 8b2.gif (1MB, 480x407px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 480x407px

>>389458351
>its burnt

File: 1307827947903.gif (407KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

407KB, 250x250px

>I will now talk about something you already figured out in a few seconds but I'll take 10 hours to explain it

How narcissistic

>>389459154
According to SJWs us asians are just white pigs who are traitors anyway. Black supremacists hate us more than whites from what I've seen

File: 1478086199606.png (4KB, 493x402px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 493x402px

>>389469354
>Then again I can't fault anyone who's reason for acting out is 'I'm mad at Trump'

>>389463747
>>389465882
t. bitter /r/childfree redditor