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https://youtu.be/848Y1Uu5Htk >These are the people reviewing

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Thread replies: 296
Thread images: 74

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https://youtu.be/848Y1Uu5Htk

>These are the people reviewing your games
>>
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HOW DO YOU FUCK UP A TUTORIAL
>>
>>389147386
That was hilarious, no need to watch more than 5 minutes after that its just painful.
>>
>>389147386
I had to watch it to the end. The tutorial part is a joke itself, but I still can't believe this retard wasn't even able to finish the very first level in almost half a hour.
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>>389147386
O MY
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How can someone be this bad at games?
>>
Except this dude doesn't review games. Why is /v/ filled with so many liars?
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>>389147386
good lord
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>>389147386
>>
game looks pretty shit desu
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>>389147386
WHAT THE FUCK
PLEASE REMIND ME WHY PEOPLE ON THIS VERY WEBSITE USE SCORES AND REVIEWS MADE BY THESE "PEOPLE" AS SOME KIND OF VALUABLE INFORMATION OR UNDENIABLE FACT
>>
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>>389148626
But anon, he's never played this game before. How can you expect him to know hot to play?
>>
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>>389147386
>>
>>389147386
>playing video games
>>
not quite as terrible (though close) but heres something in the same vein from pax

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVKOCUm_Njo
>>
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>there are STILL people who believe game journalists aren't just there to divert the goyim for a price
>>
>>389149521
is skyward sword bad? never played it
DS2 was critically overrated but underrated by the masses in my opinion:
critics- 9/10
masses- 6/10
me- 8/10 (im a souls fanboy tho so that's bias)
but yeah fuck gaming journalism as whole.
>>
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>>389149323
>masters and experts
JUMP THEN DASH
TIMING
>>
>>389149503
Just started, but this isn't that bad. It's not great, but it's not embarassing.
>>
>>389149323
>an entire paragraph to say "I suck at platformers"

Fuck this nerd
>>
>>389149732
>is skyward sword bad? never played it
it is far from a 10/10, especially that many
>>
>>389149732
It wasn't straight up bad but it was no where near as good as it was reviewed.
>>
>>389149323
>interesting social experiment

Check mate, brainlets. Doctor Dave is on a completely different level.
>>
>>389149521
Dark Souls 2 was better than 1.
>>
>>389150438
eh ill go as far as to say it holds up better now. it was probably better than demons souls tho.

souls fanboys praise demon's and it's one of the worst ones.
>>
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>>389149323
>lack basic pattern recognition skills
>claim it's a social "experiments"
Why do people think pretending to be smarter than everyone else is a viable comeback when being called out on being a dumb?
>>
>>389149323
>lol it's just a game bro
cute sidestep to the implications this has on his paid, professional career by acting like he's some recreational nobody
and that little dogwhistle at the end about tolerance and muh hatred and division was pretty adorable too
>>
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>>389147386
dispicable
>>
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>/v/ acts like they are cuphead gods when they haven't even played the game
>>
>>389150289
>be unbelievably bad at something
>people assume you're retarded
>WOWWW WHAT A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT
>>
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Most people are bad at video games. If a game is unplayable unless you're an MLG pro, shouldn't it get a bad rating?

Think before you speak, /v/. Not all game reviewers need to be hopeless nerds.
>>
>>389150898
>let's allow people who fuck up basic tutorials to make judgements on the quality of a game
Good bait.
>>
>>389150898
My mother could have picked that up faster.
>>
>>389147609
because adclicks

this video will probably go viral like the doom one did, they made over $20k from that video.
>>
>>389149323
>B-but it's a social experiment
>B-but it's not Mario
>B-but it's the dev fault
>B-but the game's difficult on purpose
>masters and experts
That's it.
I never trust reviews, but I think I will simply stop wasting my time on reading those.
Those guys aren't even able to run/jump/shoot properly. It's like thigs particular fellow never played a video-game before.

Fuck those casuals frauds.
>>
>>389147386
He's a journalist though. Not a reviewer. Still pretty trash though
>>
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>>389149323
>harder than mario

i demand footage of him playing the original mario brothers.
>>
>>389150535
It's a defense used by people that aren't used to having their intelligence challenged or overshadowed by others. Really common with those that work in the liberal arts like writing because everything they normally do is actually very easy, so they believe themselves to be extremely competent. When they lose or are demonstrated to be someone's intellectual/educational inferior, they can either humbly admit their inability or try to save face by saying "I'm competent and intelligent, so anyone that is better or smarter has something wrong with them". This is what he does by using the term "gamer" exclusively to refer to those criticizing him.
>>
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>>389149323
>>
>>389151703
I'll give them that most of the time, these journos are smart enough to not show actual footage of their "skills", but when you see a video of somebody who clearly has never played a platformer in their life the shit these phonies spout truly becomes the laughing stock.
>>
>>389147386
>clearly trying to head stomp enemies
>tries to kill every enemy not realizing that they spawn infinitely
>shit at running and gunning
>says that it's not like mario in >>389149323
Did he actually think that this game was like mario? Was he actually that easily misled?
>>
I'm speechless
>>
>>389149521
>Le Durk Sous 2 is le bad le XD

You're the cancer nowadays, underage.
>>
People so stupid, that cant see an obvious joke in front of them.
>>
>>389152752
>implying DS2 deserved that many 9/10+ reviews
good goy
>>
>>389153028
>"I-I WAS MERELY PRETENDING TO BE RETARDED"

Fuck off Dean
>>
>>389153079
>be a brainwashed hive mind parrot
>calls others goy

Sasuga
>>
>>389152752
DS2 might be the biggest launch disaster that in gaming. Trailers with amazing new lightning tech. Launch with downgraded lightning and textures.
>>
>>389149323
>this damage control
>>
>>389153225
I'm sure you are too smart to be fooled.
>>
>>389149323
Honestly, I'd expect this game to play more like Contra than Mario, from the gameplay I've seen.
>>
Can chromatic aberration be disabled?
>>
>>389151359
This is a TAS right? That shell juggling was inhuman
>>
>>389151359
This isn't realt right? Just a computer or neural net playing right?
>>
>>389154043
Prolly a speedrun. The inputs don't look too tight or all that many to be TAS only
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>>389151359

I swear watching these runs gives me a fucking heart attack, no way a human is doing this.
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>>389154167
Is that actually a real level or just user created?
>>
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>>389147386
Why is death so realistic in Overwatch?
>>
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>>389147386
>These are the people reviewing your games
Whats wrong with that? it is not like you or we are the target audience for their reviews.

Are really being so shallow and selfish to the point that dumbasses being pandered and catered to upsets you simply because it is not you being pandered and catered to? Or are you just a whiny bitch? Cause outside of those 2 and thinking about shit pragmaticily shit just makes zero sense other then you seeking some sort of recreational anger to circle jerk about with others.
>>
That massive paragraph is just him pissing in your face. I only watched until he figured out how to jump dash over the platform. What a fucking retard.
>>
>>389155342
kys faggot, people like you are destroying this industry
DAILY REMINDER THAT THEY CHANGED THE TITLE OF THE VIDEO FROM "Cuphead demo at Gamescom: It isn't easy"
fucking faggots, how pathetic can you be and then they lecture you about womynz and negroes and fags and why you suck as a gamer
>>
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>Hey, Maybe if you're having so much trouble with a simple game, maybe you shouldn't be a game reviewer

>GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN. YOU'RE RUINING VIDEO GAMES. YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T GOOD AT SUPER MARIO BROS THE FIRST EVER TIME
>>
>>389155845
>which is ironic, considering that I am autistic
kek
>>
>>389150707
>pressing A then Y is now the same as being a god
>>
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
>>
>>389152752
>underage
The only people who would think Dark Souls 2 is good are people who are underaged enough for it to be their first souls game.
>>
>>389149503
>meat boy runs on his own
Fuck off, runner games are awful and should be relegated to the shitpile that is mobile gaming

That guy is shit tho
>>
>>389157776
Kek nice one mate include me in the screenshot xD you roasted the hell out of that Anon sick burn bro
>>
>>389147386
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF3dT9bDu_4
>>
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More high-quality gaming journalism
>>
>>389149503
Why is this retard playing with the stick? What a fucking retard. Between this guy and asian DSP, I'm losing my mind.
>>
>>389155845
i feel like being unable to differ between truth and trolling anymore since everything is hiding behind 5 walls of irony but how can anybody with 3 braincells left not realize that the issue isnt if someone was that good when playing [x] for the first time but if someone was that BAD playing it the first time
>>
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>>389147386

>I can tell he is playing on a stick
>I can tell he was looking at his controller for the jump dash segment

GG was right. 100% right; these "games" journalists are nothing but liberal commies looking to get paid and shit their opinions on us.
>>
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>>389148663
>>
>>389149323

>Deflects responsibility
>Blames others for their sucking
>Asks people to respect their feelings for sucking

Was this a woman playing the game, cause they sound like a woman.
>>
>>389159267
Just because you talk about games and the culture that surrounds them doesn't mean you're playing them to review them on their merits.

Journalists that cover wars don't have to be actively fighting in them, just on the ground in the area to see the people that are firing the guns.
>>
>>389150707

I beat Contra 2, Contra 3, and Contra 4. I'd be alright after 3 minutes of realizing that run and gun, while jumping over enemies was vital the best method. People were beating dark souls 2 bosses in the E3 demo they had up before release and they even stopped people from playing when they got too far in the demo.

If you suck, you suck, no excuses.
>>
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>>389147386
My 7 year old nephew plays platformers better than this, and his only experience is 2 hours of Rayman.
>>
>>389147386
>>389149323

The guy can't stop fucking sperging for 1 second to stop moving and running head long into the enemy. I imagine he has his tongue touching his fucking nose in concentration and moving the controller left and right as hes playing. lmao what a fucking pleb. I beat contra on nes when I was 8 years old.
>>
>>389151071
that was polygon, not venturebeat
>>
>>389155015
Why the fuck do you think that'd be real?
>>
>>389150707
>performing basic movements and not running into a wall now means your a god at games
Where do I sign up for esports with this new revelation?
>>
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>>389149323
>hey guys I reviewed the new sports car from Mercedes
>it was really difficult to drive, as someone who has never driven a car before
>Mercedes shouldn't claim it's fun to drive, people like me without a driver's license will be left behind
>I give it a 1/10
>>
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>>389147386
1:33 to get past a small obstacle
I gave up, that vid already gave me cancer
>>
>>389151359
>average mario maker super expert level.webm
>>
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>>389147386
ext game
Contra
kek
>>
>>389147386
Well for ages, Journalists would hire people to play their games for them and capture all the content. Then an editor would piece the footage together into a store. The writer would watch the game some of the time, but would mostly base their review on what the editor had pieced together. Writer would write, send that to the editor to edit, send that to the gamer to fact check, send back to the editor to edit, then back to the writer to finalize. Its a bit dishonest but it works. Most gamers were interns who made no money. Then everyone who used un-paid interns to generate revenue were sued so these companies had to pay their interns money.

However, with many gaming journalism outlets losing money, they can't afford to have an editor, and most are too cheap to even pay minimum wage to a guy to play the game for them. So they give a pay raise to these writers and say "hey you played all these games, and this software automates most your work, so have at it."
>>
>>389147386
That tutorial looks absurdly difficult, I'm amazed they'd release a game in that state.
>>
>>389147386
Reminds me of those AI learning platformers videos.
>>
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>>389153567
It's not chromatic aberration, that's an error in lens focus in photography distorting light unevenly.
Rather its imitating ancient color film techniques, where layers of color on the film would be slightly out of alignment
>>
>>389147386
Well he has shit views so I doubt anyone even listens to what he has to say.
>>
>>389147386
DSP finally got a real job reviewing games?
>>
Journalist doesn't mean reviewer, you fucking idiot. This guy isn't a reviewer.

>>389159267
Dumbass
>>
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>>389153281
If you seriously think that was the worst launch of a video game, I question how long you've been gaming.
>>
>>389160629
Can it be DISABLED you fucking cunt?
>>
>>389161373
Chromatic aberration? There isn't any to disable.
>>
>>389159267
He's a journalist who occasionally has to write about games. That doesn't mean he has to be good at them. He doesn't need to be good at Cuphead to write a short article explaining that it's being shown at Gamescom and that it's got a unique art style that mimics cartoons from the 1930s and 1940s, and that it's coming out on X date on Xbone and PC.
>>
>>389160629
you just literally described chromatic aberration you mong
>>
>Dean Takahashi is a writer for VentureBeat. Prior to his currrent job, he was the Tech Talk Columnist at the San Jose Mercury News, where he wrote gadget reviews and opinion pieces on technology in Silicon Valley.
>He has been a journalist for 20 years, most of it covering technology business news. Before he joined the Mercury News in 2002, he was a senior writer at the Red Herring magazine from 2000 to 2002. Before that, he was a staff writer in the San Francisco office of the Wall Street Journal from 1996 to 2000. His first job at the Mercury News was as a chip industry reporter from 1994 to 1996.

What the hell is this old gadget geek doing reporting on videogames?
Does their other gaming staff include a phonograph repairman and a milk truck collecting hobbyist?
>>
>>389161373
because you are retarded
what anon was saying is that the game is imitating 1920's cartoons and the only way to do that correctly is to imitate the ancient photo techniques too, so if you turned it off, it wont look like a 1920's cartoon

So most likely, you can't turn it off
>>
>>389161721
Retard.
Dye on film is not an out of focus lens.
>>
>>389161721
No, he's literally describing two different things. CA is a misalignment of a lens that causes light to refract weird around objects. He's talking about color being applied improperly to old film.
>>
>>389161842
This shit makes my eyes hurt, it's one of the many effects that create the look, I don't think turning it off will negatively effect my cuphead experience
>>
>>389147386
Why are they cups anyhow?
>>
>>389151359
This isn't human.
>>
>>389161907
>>389161880
t. chromatic aberration
>>
>>389162041
>effect my cuphead experience
Microsoft effect my cuphead experience as i wont be playing it but want to.
ik what you mean about CA, that and motion blur hurt my eyes too but i'm not seeing an issue in this game, idk what your issue is.
>>
>>389162140
Ah, so you're just mad that you got called out on not knowing what you're talking about. Sorry, I forgot kids get like that.
>>
Devs have already confirmed you can turn off Chromatic Aberration.

Though it does fit the game desu.
>>
>>389152752
Oh, you better believe it is.
After playing being hyped as fuck after initial release I played it on jtaged 360 and was dissapointed by almost everything.
And then I bought it on ps3, because 'hey, maybe it's better with mp!'. And it wasn't.
And then I deluded myself into buying it on pc some time after, becase 'maybe it's better with stable fps'. Guess what the answer was?
>>
>>389162246
why does this post makes you think that I'm mad? genuinely curious
>>
>>389161676
He straight up said the developers are already lying to the masses by not telling people it's hard, which I highly doubt it is. The way he is playing would probably indicate that he would talk about controls being piss poor aswell, even though it's his own retardation.

Talking about how cool it is to see a game with this kind of style and the music is not a game review.
>>
>>389162379
Well you've been proven wrong and you're doubling down on being wrong. That's what a mad kiddo does.
>>
>>389162447
>make obviously ironic post
>"doubling down on being wrong"
summer is not over
>>
>>389159521
>>389161158
>>389161676
Hi Dean
>>
>>389147386
>those problem solving skills of a... I don't even know what animal is this dumb other than a human
>>
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>>389162271
There is no Chromatic Aberration to turn off.
You're talking about another effect entirely.
>>
>>389147386
This guy. >>389161105
>>
>>
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>>389147386
>modern gamer doesn't have sidescroller contra skillset

HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING OOOOOOOOH MY GOD
>>
>>389155071
>Why is death so fappable in Overwatch?
ftfy
>>
>>389162662
No there's definitely chromatic aberration.
>>
>>389151359
It's not exactly unimpressive but with the amount of stuff that you have to react to before it's even on the screen, it's clear that this is just massive amounts of memorisation and trial and error.
>>
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>>389149323
>tutorials are not popular
Holy shit, fire this guy. He's so clueless and out of touch. It's clear that he hardly even plays video games.
>>
>>389162221
its on gog
if your computer is from beyond the year 2000, you can probably play cuphead on it
>>
>>389162726
Super meat boy wasn't even that hard, once you get in the swing of things the fast paced die and reset actually makes it enjoyable, imo.
>>
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>>389149323
He is not some guy who picked this up to just have a go, this is his fucking livelihood and he plays like an elderly person who got tossed the controller so it's going to clearly affect how he scores the game. Fucking hate these millennial faggots who compare mario to every fucking platformer in existence.
>>
>>389149323
>I wonder why they are hostile to someone who is viewing the game as a beginner? Are we tjat intolerant of people who are not "gamers"?
Well MAYBE I don't want someone who knows fuckall about videogames reviewing videogames? How do you think football fans would feel if the referee had no idea how it's played?
>>
>>389163161
why do you think hard and enjoyable are mutually exclusive
>>
>>389163429
Or an announcer for baseball who doesn't know stats.
>>
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I couldn't watch for more than a minute. This is like a physical visible version of autism.
>>
>>389163445
I didn't mean it that way, I meant the rhythm made it more enjoyable to me.
>>
>>389163530
you're so desperate for (you)s it's pretty pathetic desu
>>
>>389147386
looks like some extreme delay in the controls, poor guy deserves a medal for trying to play the game in such conditions
>>
>>389163035
Literally impossible.
>>
>>389163393
>killing spree with a .22 plinker
>>
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>early previews of the game describe it as MEME HARD yuo die every 5 seconds streamers will RAGE LMAOOO!!!!
>see this shit
I'm guessing it's "brutally difficult" like Sonic Mania is for using "the archaic concept of limited lives"
>>
>>389155071
>she ragdolls and her hand clips through the wall
>realistic
>>
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Say hello to your professional Games Journalist
>>
>>389163639
Nigga if I felt like getting (You)s I could get them
>>
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>>389164182
He seems familiar.
>>
>>389164075
>she ragdolls
have you ever seen a video of someone getting shot in the head? People pretty much ragdoll when that happens.
>>
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>>389164038
Modern gamers were a mistake
>>
>>389164438
Yes, but ragdolling is hardly anything worthy of praise in a game since it's basically the lazy dev's death animation of choice.
>>
>>389149323
>Being this incredibly stupid


The funny part is how he just tries to shrug off how unbelievable retarded he is at video games to an "Experiment" and how "intolerant" we are to people who aren't gamers. A fucking 5 year old can figure it out holy shit even the first level of mario teaches you this type of shit without the arrows.

And what kind of stupid fucking idea is to blame this to a tutorial saying that they're not popular fuck me. This guy is the video game journalist final boss.
>>
>>389151071
What about doom?
>>
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>>389155845
I used to play games like that all the time as a kid. I had beaten most of the Sonic games before I was even 10.
>>
>>389149323
He should be fucking embarrassed that not only is he at the level of a child or elderly grandparent that has never played a game before, his problem-solving skills are even farther down than that. It's one thing to suck shit at dodging enemies or whatever but to take so long to figure out how to get over that pillar in the tutorial is downright shameful.

Then "le haters ughhh" bullshit, no fuck you I refuse to listen to that tripe from people who spend a lot of time telling their audience how shitty they are.
>>
>>389163973
~shot placement~
>>
>>389150707
>game tells you to jump and then dash
>this is being a "cuphead god"
Never, ever use Kyouko for any of your shitty fuckboyposting ever again you piece of trash.
>>
>>389162770
>modern
>covered games for 18 yea-

Fucking 18 years of gaming coverage only encompasses modern gaming now. I want to die.
>>
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How the fuck do you go through your life in the video gaming hobby without playing a side-scrolling shoot em up like this or mega-man?
>>
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>>389147386
>Most professional game reviewers are washout journalists rather than people who enjoy or are knowledgeable about videogames

More News at 11
>>
>>389164948
>covered games for 18 yea

He did not, actually.
His journalism experience is almost entirely in the tech industry, reporting on gadgets and computer chips.

He ought to be postulating on the hardware development of consoles or something, not playing them on camera.
>>
>>389149323
>tutorial tells you exactly what to do
>IT'S A NOTCH HARDER THAN MARIO GAMES AS YOU CAN SEE
Fucking hell man, you don't even need to be good at video games, you just have to not be a retard. Actually you know what, even a retard could get through this assuming he could at the very least fucking read.
>>
>>389147386
>>
File: the dark souls of platformers.jpg (133KB, 630x460px) Image search: [Google]
the dark souls of platformers.jpg
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>>389149323
JESUS CHRIST
>>
File: air_dash.png (177KB, 346x334px) Image search: [Google]
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What is the first game to have air-dashing as an important mechanic, anyway? I'd like to say Megaman X, but what about the NES or old arcade game? Either way, chinese DSP has no good excuse given his job.
>>
>applying for a job requires X years of experience with Y qualities or knowledge of the field you're applying for
>this motherfucker got a job with literally zero experience in his field
>Polygon unironically thought this is a good idea

Good thing video games attracts obsessive idiots or else Polygon would've taken a huge hit in their brand.
>>
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>>389165641
>between Mario and Dark Souls
>>
>>389165641
>thinks this is a good comeback
>people b8ed every minute

Polygon's ad revenue must be climbing through the roof my senpaitachi.
>>
>>389147386
>there are people defending this in the comment section
Youtube was a mistake
>>
putting the cringe aside for a second, the game part of cuphead looks absolutely horrendous. didn't everyone decide that endlessly spawning enemies into a side scroller was a bad idea maybe 20 years ago?
>>
>>389165657
Rocket Knight Adventures released earlier the same year as Megaman X, so clearly air dashing was already a bit of an industry meme at that point
>>
>>389165935
>20 years
oh jesus, i just realised how old i am.
>>
>>389165641
It's Metal Slug/Contra with a dash and parry mechanic. It's no fucking hard to understand let alone play.
>>
I feel bad for the devs of this game. They created a game that garnered some good publicity but then Polygon came along and mired the game with vidya journalism drama.
>>
>>389161676
>i write about food, it doesn't mean i have to know anything about cooking
>>
>>389149323
>be retarded
>"IT'S A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT BRO"
>>
https://hooktube.com/watch?v=848Y1Uu5Htk
https://hooktube.com/watch?v=848Y1Uu5Htk
https://hooktube.com/watch?v=848Y1Uu5Htk
Don't give these guys revenue
>>
>>389165935
It was supposed to be solely a boss rush, but people kept bitching about the lack of levels.
>>
>>389147386
quit at 20 secs
>>
>>389166217
Adblock ya dingus
>>
>>389165935
Honestly, art style aside, the gameplay really does look boring as hell.
>>
>>389165641
retarded people on the internet holy shit
>>
>>389161676
If you assign someone to write about games, you need to make sure it's someone who can actually play a fucking video game.
And you know what? Even if it was someone who had never played a game before, failing so spectacularly in a tutorial like that is inexcusable. That isn't being bad at video games, that is simply failing at simple reading and pattern recognition.
>>
>>389166427
Still gives pageviews. Adblock is only half the chemo.
>>
>>389161676
Right. If these are our standards now, I'll get some illiterate to tell me about a book.
>>
>>389166314
the state of the game doesn't exactly instill confidence in the studio tho. they've delayed the game by years(?) to put in these parts and they just look fundamentally bad.

even if they had put out cuphead as just a boss rush, people would expect this stuff for cuphead 2.

to make things even worse, they've shown off these new sections for a year or so now and from day one people have mentioned that they don't look great - it looks like they've done nothing to make them better.
>>
>>389166571
Pageviews don't pay them anything.
In fact it lets them see how many adviews they're getting vs. how many pageviews, driving the point home effectively.
>>
File: hmmm.png (164KB, 453x477px) Image search: [Google]
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>>389165641
>is a "game meets dark souls" statement
>>
>>389152752
Yeah no it's bad as a game, as a souls entry it's a fucking aberration.
>>
>>389165641
holy shit, is Cuphead the Dark Souls of Mario games/
>>
>>389165641
>show me your first 26 minutes of gameplay
Is this game out yet? Because I'll record right the fuck now if someone wants to tweet it at him.
>>
File: gnBlyBl.jpg (23KB, 556x461px) Image search: [Google]
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I just review my own games now. 1200 people think I'm good at it so I'm doing something right.
>>
>>389159521
Yes and a journalist covering wars need to know what the war is being fought about, what's happening in the war, how it all started, ect. It's more than just going around asking soldiers how they feel about the situation.

But lets get this back to media, if you had two people to review a movie, one who understood the plot and what was going on and one who didn't understand the plot who would you chose to review the movie?
Same thing here, you need someone at least competent at the game in question to do the review. If he's so bad at it he can't even pass the tutorial then the review is going to be inaccurate because he'll call it much harder than what it actually is. I wouldn't hire someone who's shit at Xcom to review Xcom.
>>
>>389166850
Nah, it releases at the end of this month.
>>
>>389162526
get out retard
>>
>>389167158
Fuck
>>
>>389149732
masses dont play souls games

its not mario
>>
Is kotaku and polygon still alive? In the sense that they still have some influence in the gaming culture?
>>
>>389166793
But it's better than DS1 in every single way
>>
>>389151071
you overestimate these people
>>
>Game "Reviewers"
>letting some faggot decide if you get a game or not
How about you watch some gameplay and decide for yourself instead of reading or listening to what some limp dick faggot has to say?
People who unironically base whether or not they get a game based on reviews need to be gassed
>>
>>389167090
>>389159521
Also
>doesn't mean your playing them to review them on their own merits.
What? So your saying that it's okay for Polygon to be dogshit at Doom or for IGN to be dogshit at Mario Rabbids and still give it a score despite their incompetence because "culture"?
As a wise nigga once said "You stupid".
>>
>>389167538
Polygon's got the McElroy brothers who seem to be almost universally loved.
Not sure anyone gives a shit about them otherwise.
>>
>>389149323
A gaming journalism network or whatever should lose all of its credibility (not like they ever have one, they're just glorified autism forums) when they have shitty "game journalists."

For example; If you cannot mention at least 10 games in different categories and briefly talk about them, you should NOT be hired to anything game-related.

The truth is, people do get hired with very little to none gaming experience. It is out-right pathetic. Therefore, it is much better to find credibility from us fellow autists (people who actually play the damn games) than gaming journalist websites.
>>
>>389151071
>asylum_demon.jpg
>>
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I declare a new meme to be born.
>>
>>389165641
What kind of retard is this guy?
Mario games can get fairly difficult. Using it as your baseline for easy is stupid.
>>
>>389168295
Give him a break, it's probably the only video game he's ever played and I doubt he beat it
>>
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>>389149323
>social experiment
>>
>>389168295
That's because he hasn't actually played mario. Maybe he's beaten the first couple of worlds and assumes it's all like that But it's a well known kiddy game, so it's a safe bet for a super easy game to an idiot
>>
>>389167613
>every single way
Not in terms of graphics, balance, glitches or story. The second point takes a huge portion of what otherwise would be enjoyable away.
>>
>>389151359
This is tool assisted, not really comparable.
>>
>>389168614
But it is on all of those things
>dude giantdad memes lmao
>dude just chase each others backs for 10 minutes
>>
>>389165641

https://youtu.be/DJHTSZaTMEo?t=9
>>
>>389149521
DS2 is lightyears ahead SS and even BOTW
>>
>gets to a platform too high to jump too directly
>grinds against the wall 20 seconds before trying something else
>>
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>>
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>tfw you will never be a diversity hire and even when you suck at your job on a fundamental level you will never be fired and have a mob of a nu-males and neon haired hambeasts defend your complete lack of work ethic
>>
>>389149521
Squidward Sword is a better game than Dark Souls though
>>
File: 1503340957964.jpg (20KB, 320x214px) Image search: [Google]
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>Arthur from Polygon: I am the worst gamer in the world
>Dean Takahashi: Hold my beer
>>
I thought this was satire from how bad it was.
>>
File: cuphead.jpg (1MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]
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Is this the Dark Souls of 2D side scrollers?
>>
>>389147386
>Skip a bit further into the video when he keeps dying
>I skipped to another part where he just died

Make it stop!
>>
>>389169207
I kind of like the style of this UI, but the new one is so much cleaner.
>>
>>389149732
Skyward Sword I'd go as far as to say it's a good game, when you get used to the controls, but it is far from perfect, and I'm biased as a massive Zelda fan. It has some major flaws for sure.
>>
>>389161349
>MCC and Assassins Creed Unity released on the same day

Like pottery

I remember being in line for the midnight launch. I was buying MCC. Last game I ever preordered. I learned my lesson. I learned it hard.
>>
File: twitterr.png (47KB, 622x382px) Image search: [Google]
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>>389165641
JUST
>>
>>389168785
That's like your subjective opinion that can and has been disproven several times over the years. The mere fact that there's things like non unlimited respawn of certain enemies while the items they provide are not a guaranteed drop is one the easiest ways to prove the game is full of flawed designs.

Truthfully I don't care enough about the game or you to keep engaging in this.
>>
File: Videogamejournalist.webm (3MB, 854x480px) Image search: [Google]
Videogamejournalist.webm
3MB, 854x480px
>>
>>389147386
Watching this is pure suffering.
>>
>>389169535
Literally git gud
>>
>>389169501
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>389151359
You have to be autistic to be able to complete that
>>
>>389169582
I honestly laughed for a good solid minute from about 20 seconds onwards.
>>
>>389169671
Should I send him a question asking him what he does to get to things he can't reach in real life?
>>
File: 1501399077663.png (228KB, 245x458px) Image search: [Google]
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>>389147386
guro sfm might be doing something to me
>>
>>389169582
If I was a developer and I saw that happening to my game on the show floor they'd have to physically restrain me from ripping the controller out of their hands
>>
>>389169501
>"please tell me how to do literally everything"

I can't fucking believe it. How is hard can it be to just say "You're right I'm fucking shit". If you want to prove these people wrong why not practice instead of defending your shit gameplay?
>>
File: cuphead math.png (161KB, 648x414px) Image search: [Google]
cuphead math.png
161KB, 648x414px
>>
>>389167538
They're still around and publishers don't give a shit about content other than a high score at the end of the day, so yeah. They still hold some influence.
>>
>>389147386
This is so fucking unprofessional. Even if you're going to have an invalid normie faggot play for your demo coverage, at least have him play a little longer before you start recording, so you can capture some decent footage. This reeks of rushed, half-assed effort to cover a game before taking the time to give it a proper spotlight.
>>
>>389164614
>ragdolling is what people do in real life
>but it's not realistic or excusable if they do in videogames
????
>>
>>389170098
because nobody gives a fuck about the best review anymore
it's only about the first review
>>
>>389170080
Did they change the title to be snarky cunts? I hate this industry
>>
How is Cuphead supposed to know to stand on the rock before jumping?
>>
>>389169582
The only, ONLY, justification he could've given to how god awful this is, is if the controller had massive amounts of input. And even then, he takes a full fucking minute before even going back a few steps to jump onto the first block. That's not a brain fart, that's a fucking stroke.
>>
>>389170269
They changed the title because people were complaining that the previous title was misrepresenting Cuphead as some kind of ultra hardcore game when in reality the reviewer is just retarded.
>>
>>389170372
I think I'd do the same thing as him if I was running on two days without sleep.
>>
File: 1502667437746.gif (982KB, 374x210px) Image search: [Google]
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>>389169582
I have no idea how I should feel watching this. Rage? Depressed? Laughter? All three?
>>
>>389151359
The guy playing is brain dead, completely fried upstairs and just let the muscle memory do the work. That even tops the Kaizo levels.
>>
File: 1496902175854.jpg (95KB, 600x300px) Image search: [Google]
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>>389170372
>try to jump over platform
>it doesn't work
>go back and try it again
>still doesn't work
>go back and try it again

Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?
>>
could they not just edit out taking 2 minutes to do the first step of the tutorial? they do this on purpose for rage views
>>
>>389170080
Was no one there to say "Hey why don't you try standing on the first block and doing a dash at the apex of your jump?"

I hope the Cuphead devs were watching this happen laughing their asses off and saying "Yeah man that's a hard jump"
>>
>>389170692
Pretty sure they'd rather just not spend the extra time editing, and put it out ASAP for the sake of being like "NO, THE SOONER THE BETTER, WE NEED THOSE VIEWS. GET IT UP QUICK."
>>
>>389169501
>I have zero problem solving skills and the inability to try something different if what I'm doing isn't working, the game needs to tell me exactly what to do

This is why games are holding people's hands so much nowadays.
>>
>>389170372
Not even that's an excuse, even if there was a ton of controller lag you can tell he doesn't even try pressing the dash button after the first few seconds of hitting the wall, he legitimately forgot it existed that quickly or he is unable to stand on the block, then input jump AND dash. If there was latency then you would see him jump and then dash after hitting the ground or something.
>>
>>389170098
It's a social experiment bro!
>>
File: 1491620380595.jpg (9KB, 261x247px) Image search: [Google]
1491620380595.jpg
9KB, 261x247px
>>389170796
More like pic related
>This fucker is going to give us a score that'll affect the metacritic
>This guy
>How many more of them are there!
>>
>>389169501
>I don't have the most basic concepts of how to do things in a video game and need to be spoon-fed instructions like a brain dead infant.
>>
>>389169582
Here is normal thought process
>Jump over short block with short jump
>Try tall jump to get over tall block
>Fail
>Try a running start with a tall jump
>Fail
>Try a running start with a tall jump then dash
>Fail
>Get on top of short block, try a running start with tall jump
>Fail
>Get on top of short block, try a running start with tall jump then dash
>Success
He spends almost a whole minute on the first few and even tries to dash through the pillar which makes 0 sense. He has no reasoning ability, it's like a monkey using a typewriter.
>>
>>389149732
It's one of the best if not the best Zelda game to date.
People are just assblasted you need to use motion controls still.
>>
>>389160629
Uh thanks for the explanation. I know chromatic aberration, but didn't know the other one.
>>
>>389171331
When I get massive lag/framerate issues or just some weird latency, I'll usely ignore the objective until I figure out the issue. That was the only way I could see such terrible play being jusitfied. Basically him just pressing random buttons, trying to find what's wrong.
But yeah. The idiot is just that bad. There's no saving possible for him. Best case scenario, he gets relocated to something else. Maybe car tech. It's not like you should learn how to drive to test a car, right?
>>
File: 1497910294358.gif (911KB, 1277x705px) Image search: [Google]
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>Cuphead is going to get bad reviews because retards like this will complain it's too hard
>>
>>389149521
>what is uncharted 4
>or any other ps4 exclusive
There are games far worse then those two that get perfect scores across the board. See above.
>>
>>389169501
Is he actually a fucking robot? Where we just seeing a fucking AI learning? How does he live in a day by day basis if he's incapable of putting one plus one together?
>>
File: 1471322698441.png (119KB, 215x231px) Image search: [Google]
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>>389171668
>The Dark Souls of 2D shooters
>>
>>389165641

Mario (NES) is hard, he obviously never played it.
>>
>>389171404
>it's a social experiment

What a nothing statement.

>"I'm wrong and an idiot but if I claim it's a social experiment I'll seem smart amongst my peers."

You could make a list of the dumb shit these idiots repeat every time they're backed into a corner.
>>
>>389171848
I beat it when I was 4 with a broken arm. It's not hard.
>>
>>389168963
Beautiful. I want more.
>>
File: journos.png (164KB, 1920x1026px) Image search: [Google]
journos.png
164KB, 1920x1026px
Why do normies think Dark Souls is so hard?
>>
>>389172145
nice theme gaywad
>>
>>389172145
Dark Souls is hard because it takes patience and timing and pattern recognition. If he can't get pass this basic of a game then dark souls would kill him every other second.
>>
>>389171429
For the bilionth time, that guy isn't a fucking reviewer.
>>
>>389169501
That's like complaining kids puzzle blocks didn't say square peg only fits in square hole
>>
>>389172145
>/pol/
get the fuck out faggot
>>
>>389172502
>gets trolled by randomtabs on /v/
Get outta here 2010s
>>
>>389155845
>watching Rebel "internet stalker and spaghetti dropper" Taxi
>>
You can thank affirmative action for this.
>>
>>389172145
>Blacked
>/pol/
>>
>>389169501
Can he wipe his own ass if there isn't a sign in the bathroom telling him how to?
>>
>>389172145
>>389172314
Dark Souls isn't hard, It's fair. The game gives you every tool you need to beat any boss in the game. At certain points the game straight up starts dropping the upgrade material you need to max pretty much any weapon in the game or At least get them to +14 (which is more than enough). If someone can't beat Dark Souls then it's their fault not the game. The bosses are your equals in this game and you can even summon help if you really need it. No excuse for not being able to beat this game.
>>
>>389172145
>/pol/
>MMA
>Hamtaro
>BLACKED porn
You can't make this shit up
>>
>>389173596
Hamtaro is actually good though
>>
>>389147609
I hate to admit it, but I've failed at damn near every fighting game tutorial I've tried. King of Fighters XIII was the worst. I just want to be able to get good enough to hold my own against friends
>>
>>389158769
Still better than the OP, if you're going to be shit at a game at least make a bit out of it.
>>
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>>389169501
>>
>>389149521
Dark Souls 2 is a great game and should be seen as game of the year for 2014 (it helps that 2014 was a horrible year for video games).
>>
>>389170513
Been seeing a lot of Twisted Tales of Felix the cat related stuff. It's awesome.
>>
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>>389151071
>>
>>389169501
>>
>>389169885
bugs...
>>
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>>389172145
>red text on grey tabs
Ironically, this was the most cancerous part of the screenshot.
>>
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after the fist ten seconds i thought this couldn't get any worse but here i am
>>
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>>389147386
Holy fuk I had no idea Owerwatch was this brutal. Is it worth getting on sale?
>>
>>389174036
That's kind of bad, but fighting games are about 1000x more complex than Cuphead's incredibly basic platforming tutorial.
>>
This video has 67k views. All of their other videos have like sub 500 views even at 2 years old.
From their perspective, the best thing they have ever done was make you mad.
>>
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>>389169501
Oh noes. Oh my fucking God, no way...
How can he genuinely write something like that ?
>>
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>>389173596
>>389172205
>>389172502
>>389173024
>>389176427
It's bait you fucking retard newfags.
>>
>>389151071
This is correct, prepare to see it on normiebook in a week.

I hate web 2.0
>>
>>389150707
pressing two buttons while holding a directional pad is not hard
>>
>>389178008
Woah there friend, easy on the jargon
Not everyone is an expert master gamer, y'know
Thread posts: 296
Thread images: 74


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