Looking for ways to fill my depression filled life. Anyone else

Go socialize face-to-face with people and start exercising regularly, preferably outside in nature. Congrats, your depression is gone.

>>388932080
>just do the things that your depression stops you from doing
Wow, you've cured me! Thanks Doc!

masturbate 5 times a day MINIMUM
it cures everything

>>388932154
>Implying work out doesn't affect your body's chemical household in a positive way to balance out the fuck up chemistry you already have

But hey be my guest and be miserable. Make a tumblr so you can participate in their pity parade without any real effort of ever bettering yourself cause after all nobody truly understands you, right?

>>388932154
>I wish my circumstances would change but I'm not willing to lift a finger to change my circumstances

Just kill yourself then, and stop bothering people.

>>388931631
>tfw constantly tired

>>388932279
>>388932280
OP BTFO
OP LITERALLY ON SUICIDE WATCH

>>388932080
>Congrats, your depression is gone.
Not necessarily. It's true that socialization, regular exercise and proper basic daily routines are just about the most reliable cure for depression, there is still a considerable portion of people suffering depression that won't resolve their issues by this.

That said, OP:

Yeah, you are just digging yourself deeper into the hole if you think games will help with depression riddled life. What helps is either establishing social existence, regular life-style, exercising, or seeking more specific medical treatments. Anything game related with make your problem worse.

>>388932080
Not OP but what if my inability to interact with other people socially is the reason for my depression?

I'm legitimately terrified of talking to people I don't know. I do it anyway, but I hate doing it and it's incredibly awkward when it happens.

>>388932453
What do you think is a solution to that problem?

>>388932080
>Go socialize face-to-face with people
I can tell you are in highschool or college. Just wait till your 25 years old or older, left all your friends behind, and move away or back with parents with 0 friends. Go try walking up to strangers and talking face to face then young fag.

>>388932684
I'm 34. Stop projecting.

>>388932453
This a perspective issue. Maybe try meditation. Dunno if it will work for you, but it's what worked for me. Really dig deep into why you're terrified while keeping in mind that there's no objective reason to be so. Don't throw yourself into a self-loathing loop for being irrational either, because that's perfectly natural as well. Eventually the fear should lessen if not go away completely. It's good that you already socialize anyways.

>>388932831
lmao sure you are kiddo

>>388932386
what the fuck does btfo mean

>>388932453
Well,you Just need to keep trying until you dont give a fuck anymore

>>388932684
Is this a joke? You imply that people can't establish social relationships past 25?
Hey: fan fact. You know that workplace exist? That families exist? What the actual fucking nightmare of an existence you have caught yourself in, and how did you manage to convince that nightmare is actually normal for other people?

>>388932854
lurk moar

>>388932684
Yes. Everyone is as socially retarded as you.

>>388931631
If you're of legal drinking age in your country, just drink until forget why you're depressed. Works every time.

>>388932154

As someone with depression, that's literally it. Start exercising, start doing things that're mildly social, and get better from there. Stupid faggot

>>388932684
OP, I think it's better if you kill yourself. On cam please, and provide a link.

>>388932854
Blown the fuck out mr.

>>388932854
blown the fuck out

Shouldnt we talk about games through?

>>388932080
Thanks norm

Lots of underage here. Friends don't matter after college. Only co-workers and starting a family.

>>388932080
This OP
Get your Vitamin D and Oxytocin or be a sad cunt forever

>>388932154
Imagine being this much of a faggot lmao.
>I'm sad! That means I'm too good to go for a walk!
>>388932684
>implying you can't have a laugh with just about anyone over just about anything
Fuck's sake anon, if you need attention this badly get a dog

It's all downhill from here OP
You think the games will help you but they just delay the inevitable. Every time you finish one the void in your chest comes back and you desperately try to fill it with another game.
Then you finish school or college but you don't have anyone you can talk to. The social anxiety and walls you built around yourself kept you from making friends or connections.
You can't get a job, not a fulfilling one anyway. You can't bring yourself to talk to your co-workers because you feel you don't belong with them. Their lives are sorted out and they're on their way to a new chapter in raising a family.
Then you try what the anons tell you. Exercise keeps the depression at bay. Sounds so easy but everytime you step into the gym the insecurity washes over you and pins you down. You can't help the comparisons.
Eventually you just sit around the house thinking of how things could've been different. Then you fantasize about your death. It starts off slow with simple thoughts about what it'd be like to die. Then you start planning it and thinking of the best way to kill yourself.
But you don't have the guts. So you just cry yourself to sleep. And you repeat this until you eventually die cold and alone. So very alone.

>>388933217
I'm 27 and I don't want any of this nuclear family bullshit nor to get married. I have plenty of friends though

>>388933217
starting a family is a meme

prove me wrong
protip: you can't

>>388933376
Junko would like you

>>388933024
wtf does blown the fuck out mean

>>388932154
>the depression physically hinders you from moving your legs in order to get outside
I doubt that

>>388933458
Life is a meme dude

>>388932080
>go out
>exercise
>manage to go clubbing with work colleagues
>socialise with whomever
>feel no different

>>388933376
Already at this step c:

>>388933570
>got no job (looking)
>clubbing is the worst of the worst

>>388933458
I'm 34, been married for 9 years, and my son is about to turn 2. They mean more to me than life itself. There's nothing in the world more satisfying and fulfilling than seeing them smile. I hope you find love one day, anon.

>>388932845
Actually, I've considered meditation before. I think it would probably do me some good but its difficult to insulate myself from distractions in my own home. I don't have anywhere I can let myself go without worrying about other people or distractions.

Even then I'm not totally sure it would solve it. I feel terrified because, among some other reasons, I feel fundamentally unequipped to deal with others socially. I pick up on social cues and I can empathize with others and all that, but I have no idea how to respond verbally, and I frequently drive people away with my awkward, half-baked responses. Though I am actually just fine with people I'm already familiar with, even if I do unintentionally bore them.

I guess some solutions dont work from everyone, Life is a harsh thing, it is a package full of good,bad qnd ugly experiences, we need to learn how to make the most of it by ourselves

>>388932853
>"Look at me! I'm sooooo depressed! No for real, I'm really depressed! I have all the depression in the world! But stop literally telling me how to cure my depression! I'm so special! "
>calls other kiddo
your depression is called puberty
you'll grow out of it or start a homicide

>>388933404
good for you I guess, but you are still pretty young

>>388933458
at a certain point I realized that working, sex, and hobbies, isn't enough to live for.

>>388933819
I'm 25. You are probably still in college or highschool.

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Everyone who is depressed: you just need a waifu

>>388933543
Suprisingly enough, in case of Severe depression, it's actually a very real thing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychomotor_retardation
I've experienced that shit, and it's no joke. That said, if you reached that point, you are pretty much good and ready for hospitalization anyway. Most people who "complain about depression" don't really experience this, and most of those who do are at that point so fucked up that they don't really care what is going to happen, as long as somebody helps them.

>>388934065
>unnaturally obsessing over a 2D drawing of an anime character as if it were your spouse
Yeah, that's healthy. That'll work.

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>>388933536

>>388934003
26, 27 in 3 days

>>388934197
Happy early birthday, man.

>>388934145
Nutritionist here, it will

>>388934261
thanks

>>388932080
I tried that for 2 years. Lost 45kg, going clubbing every weekend and i want to kill myself more than ever before

>>388934065
god, miku is such a cutie.

>>388934148
pls explain :[

>>388934197
Happy birthday boi

>>388934145
not much different than unnaturally obsessing over things you couldn't ever achieve like starting a family

>>388934065
what if I no watch anime

>>388934473
Clubbing can more often than not be the antithesis of actual socialization.

That said: if these don't work out, it's time to face a medical professional. It's more likely than not that either you have a personality disorder (which is most successfully managed through therapy) or a simple biochemical disorder, which can be managed with medication.

Or there is still something profoundly wrong with your basic life routines which you are just turning a blind eye to.

>>388934586
Then you're off to a good start for a healthy lifestyle.

To the people saying routines/exercise/socializing is the cure,

I am not OP, but I've midly depressed, I have been taking antidepressants for an year, now, prescribed by a psychiatrist, of course. I just stopped taking them a few weeks ago because I ran out and I'm currently living in a new country. I'm coping well with the withdrawal, though, since I started tapering the meds in anticipation for when I would run out.

Just a little introductory stuff first, feel free to skip it, I 'll put the rest on a following post, so skip this one if you want.

I became extremely depressed (suicidal depressed) when my gf of two years decided to end our relationship because she couldn't handle being dependent on me. She had some really bad luck at that time, and had her future prospects fucked and didn't want to feel like she was going to be dependent on me. We cried like fuck, she told me she loves me so much, etc, she was just fucking crazy at the time, but I still could not force her to stay in a relationship with me. Removed her from life completely after that, I even moved to a different country because I couldn't handle sleeping in the bed in which we had made love for so many times.
Faced with the prospect that this was the only time anyone ever loved me, and that I had never felt happiness before this (what I had believed to be happiness before turned to be just comfort with life), I started believing that I would never be happy again. This girl was a fluke, I had never met anyone that actually had the capacity to love me, not just be in the typical relationship where people are basically good friends that also have sex. I can't handle the thought of not feeling that kind of love ever again, the kind where you only are complete with the other person. The kind were you recognise the other person's faults, were you fight eachother when there is a need to, but you care for the other so much that you both tend to compromise instead of always trying to be the boss.

>>388934664
Just be yourself :)

>>388931631
nice

I'm a teacher and like 75% of my students are into OW/PUBG/Rick and Morty. When it comes to even the shittiest kid, the second you drop any hint you'e into the mainstream stuff their attitude immediately changes.

>Sir! Add my on stream!
>Sir, who do you main!?
>Sir! Pickle Rick!

Makes the job 100x easier.

>>388933543
Your legs are not dead but you are incapable of moving them due to being a mental cripple.

Obviously if it's mild to medium depression you can do that though and exercise does help.

>>388934780
OW and PUBG are shit tier tho

>>388934780
once my friends and me invited one of our teachers to a LAN party
he accepted and completely rekt us in every game we played and called us noobs
our grade improved a lot after this

>>388934898
Yeah but when you have a kid seconds away from throwing a desk, asking "have you seen the changes to mercy" immediately dispels the situation.

sneed's suck and fuck

>>388935001
formerly moes

>>388934664
(continued)

I moved away after having the luck of being accepted into a top world Uni for a master's programme. I was already athletic, but I started getting really focused on putting on mass, because it was a distraction. I gained 15kg in half an year, mostly muscle. Lost most of my heart and lung capacity, though, for disregarding cardio completely, I'm trying to recover that now.
I met new people, made new "friends" (true friends are harder to find, still only have 4 in my life), went out with them, spoke to new girls, etc, etc, good future prospects now, everything seems good.

NOW THIS IS THE POINT i REALLY WANTED TO GET TO:

Despite my current situation being pretty good, whenever I am alone what do you think happens? I cry. I still miss being loved. Everyone seems to me as superficial, no one really cares about anyone else. I really feel alone and depressed, despite doing all those things you guys say that "cure" depression. Psychiatric care really only made me more acceptant of my situation, less desperate, but it doesn't make the sadness and the feeling of being utterly alone in the universe go away. I have many things to focus now, but only act as distractions, and once all distractions disappear again, I will be faced with the fact that I am still alone and always will be.

TLDR: that shit about exercising, going out, etc doesn't really work

>>388934664
You're depressed cuz you're a whiny little bitch

Get a cat

>>388935138
No, get some based fucking fish

>>388934664
>To the people saying routines/exercise/socializing is the cure,
One of the possible cures, to be more precise. Or even more specifically, a most common FIRST CONDITION to avoid depression, but very often not the last.

That said, purely clinically speaking, regular exercise alone have statistically as reliable effect as most forms of SSRI and SNRI medication.

>>388934993
Just send him to the retard class

>>388935138
I feel like getting a cat/dog would boost my happiness by a mile, but I'm not allowed pets where I live ;(

>>388935137
>'only' 4 real friends
So you've always been a normalfag?

>>388935138
>you're a whiny little bitch
I am, I'm too sensitive for our society, I don't want to be "proudly alone", I'm not happy at the fact that I can (have to) be independent of everyone except myself.
I have a dog back in my home country, and I'm not living alone here where I am, though, so it's not really that kind of problem, though. It's really a psychological thing.

>>388935205
Fish doesn't really have any affection, though.

>>388935214
I mean, in my view, that is just statistical studies that suffer from the causality/correlation problem, like everything in medicine, specially psychiatry. My own experience only tells me that if you are distracted you think less about the bad stuff, but it doesn't go away anytime. All those things mentioned act as distractions, in a sense.

>>388935137
>exercise and healthy socialization dont work because as I got depressed I stopped doing those things
Also, what the fuck so you think your legitimate emotional evisceration has anything to do with lonely, bored teenagers whose seditentary lifestyle has fucked up their body's chemistry? Of course exercise wont help YOU much, because you have a completely seperate reason for your depression

>>388935404
I'm not really a neet, if that is your question. I just always had a need to feel loved and I live confronted with the fact that no one in this universe can think past themselves and actually GIVE love as well as receive it. When I was in that relationship, GIVING was what gave me the biggest pleasure, helping the other person be happy was the best thing, only trumped by when you saw that person wanting to do the same back.

>>388935560
Wow, fucking rude, I'm telling my fish you said that.

>>388935709
I dunno anon that all sounds like a fantasy land to me. I think you need to take the red pill and realise that life isn't really like that and never will be. It's a dog eat dog world and that's a pill that I'm struggling to swallow myself

>>388935571
>>exercise and healthy socialization dont work because as I got depressed I stopped doing those things
But I focused MORE on those things, maybe I've expressed myself wrongly.

And you are right, the reason for the depression matters, but aren't these guys also depressed because they are lonely, in the end? Isn't that what most depressions water down to? I mean, you can feel lonely even when surrounded, that's basically my situation. I know people, but they all seem superficial to me, I can't see most of them an emotional human beings, of course there being some exceptions.

play roblox fag

>>388935804
I laughed anon. Post a pic of him!

>>388935843
It isn't like that though, the problem is that I have experienced the other side of it, the good side. I've actually lived that "fantasy myself" for 2 years. And my father's side of the family (including my parents in this) all live like this, they love each other incomprehensibly much, they all act in this way I explained. Hell, my parents have the relationship I dream for myself again. My grief comes from the fact that I lived in a family with that kind of paradigm, and I can't see my future self being able to replicate the happiness that my parents have, and which I was raised in.

>>388935880
Their lonliness is caused by poor lifestyle choices (which can be easily fixed), rather than an actual event

I'm not implying that it isn't an any less legitimate form of depression, but it still doesn't stop the fact that your body NEEDS vitamin D, oxytocin, and the various other hormones/chemicals produced through exercise and human interaction to regulate your internal chemistry and prevent depression

>>388932992
Thats a terrible coping habit. Don't do that

>>388936174
Don't compare your middle to someone else's end. Your parents have gone through decades of emotional trials and tribulations to end up where they are now. You're still a kid who's barely gotten started. It's insane how much your life can change in a single year. Who the fuck knows what your life will be like in 5 or 10 years.

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>>388934197
Happy early birthday mang

>>388932154
I'm not the guy you responded to and not that you need to kill yourself like another anon said but if you want things to get better, its really in your best interest to take the steps to make things better

>>388932154
>I'm too weak to help myself
Pathetic. Fucking millenials wanting to be coddled through the hard times.

>>388935560
Your experience is wrong, plain and simple. You might be the relative statistic minority of people who require treatement ABOVE those things: medication and/or therapy. In your case I'm betting more on therapy, as you seem to have some inherently fucked up world-views. But that does not mean the statistical evidence is incorrect, it means you fall into the relative minority of people whose problems go beyond these simple treatment.
They don't act as distractions, and we know this. Actual serotonin and dopamine levels CAN BE MEASURED, and those activities PROVABLY improve those by considerable margins, as well as cause other mesurable neurological transformations further correlated with depression. You don't get much more scientifically certain than that. You are just trying to alter reality to fit your own narrow and biased perspective.

And I'm telling you this as somebody in a very similar circumstances. I to have not been cured through those activities. I'm just not dumb enough to generalize my case on majority of cases.

>>388936238
I was already somewhat chronically sad before my relationship, I had done psychotherapy by my own choice and everything. Getting into the relationship and having a BOOM of happiness followed by the sudden end really made chronic sadness turn into the depression.

I agree with you on the fact that exercise is important, but I think it's more on the general health side of things. I'm not telling net NOT to exercise, I definitely think that they must do it. I just want them not to be wrongly convinced that is going to cure everything in their heads.

>>388936556
Actually, when you have clinical depression then it's fine to admit that you are too weak to help yourself. After all, that is what medical professionals are for.
That said, if you really are too weak to help yourself, then you must accept the help of others, not make up excuses why the help that others are offering you is not worth it or not going to work. E.g. there is a responsibility you must embrace even when you admit that you are at the end of your own strength.

If one is too weak to start cleaning up his own life, then you it's time to turn for a help to your family, to your doctors. And DO WHAT THEY TELL YOU TO DO. That is the real first step people in dire need of actual help must do.

>>388934197
Suiciding at 27 seems to be a common trend, especially amongst celebrities. I urge you to stick to tradition and become an hero. I believe in you, anon!

>>388934487
normie, blown the fuck out is the equivalent of your "rekt"

>>388935560
>I mean, in my view, that is just statistical studies that suffer from the causality/correlation problem, like everything in medicine, specially psychiatry. My own experience only tells me that if you are distracted you think less about the bad stuff, but it doesn't go away anytime. All those things mentioned act as distractions, in a sense.
that is word for word what I thought until I actually started doing excercise for more than 1 week "just to get happy"

>>388936980
but I'm living a happy live, why should I kill myself?

>>388936802
>>>388936238 (You)
>I just want them not to be wrongly convinced that is going to cure everything in their heads.
Except that for quite a large majority of caes it will, based purely on medical fact. >>388936665 nails it on the head

You need to get your head out of your ass and think about it from the perspective of someone OTHER than from your own minority experience. All you've done so far is reiterate your own shit, and the fact is its just not relevant for 90+% of the people on this website

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>be depressed because of constant intrusive thoughts
>take antidepressants
>no more thoughts
>antidepressants make you impotent
>be depressed because be impotent

Help

>>388936665
I guess you're right. But I have done therapy, once for a full year (nefore my relationship), and the other for 4 months after my relationship ended, and that's where I was prescribed the antidepressants, just as a temporary measure. I only stopped therapy because I got accepted in my University here in this country.

When I was doing therapy before coming here, I reached a point where my psychiatrist was just moved by the stuff I told her, basically admitting that there is no cure for not having love in yourself, since you can't prescribe it. Basically she reached the conclusion that while in the short term I needed the medicine because I was suffering from the anxiety and trauma of my relationship ending, on the long term I was mentally healthy, and my overwhelming sadness wasn't something that could be fixed, per-se. Basically I would only be able to improve my tolerance of it, and being able to calmly accept my situation, but I would never stop having an overwhelming need of sharing love with someone. She stated this while telling me that even if it was possible, it would be a terrible mistake to take away such a precious trait from someone, when other people struggle to even be able to be affectionate.

>>388937282
Ok, I accept that you are probably right about that. It's just normal for people to see the world through their eyes. Even medfags do it, it's just that their eyes have studied other people's situations, no? Sorry for seeming stubborn.

>>388936348
Yes, the last 3 years have been crazy for me. But that's what I am afraid of, because since ending my relationship, all the things that have happened have made me move away from the possible ending that I want. I moved into a huge metropolis where everyone is selfish, I moved away from the people that shared my lifeviews, all because I'm basically taking my opportunities as they arise in order to progress on the "career" side of things. I'm walking to the goal of making bazillions while being a lonely fuck that only interacts with soulless people.

>>388937093
Do you feel an honest improvement with regards to how you thing about the other stuff NOT related to your body? Because it never had that effect on me, I'm genuinely curious.

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>>388934065
>this, my life improved greatly when I made a tulpa

>>388937763
Didn't mean to greentext that, fuck. I suppose now would be a good time to an hero

>>388937441
>hang out with a few thousand smokers
>disappropriately high number of them have lung cancer
>anons start recommending lifestyle changes which are medically proven to prevent and counteract the illness
>"yeah well i got lung cancer from working in a coal mine so from my point of view stopping smoking won't actually do anything. Thats just like, my point of view as a coal miner man, everyone has one"
That's literally you. Shut up and stop being so fucking thick

>>388937321
>basically admitting that there is no cure for not having love in yourself, since you can't prescribe it.
Except there is. What you are describing sounds a lot like narcissistic personality disorder (which, contrary to what most people say, is actually result of lack of base self-acceptance, only usually - not necessarily - resulting in over-compensating and artificially inflating one's own ego).
And as all personality disorders: there is no cure for them, but personality does not remain unchanged through out one's life either, and it is possible through guided growth actual alter it. Acceptance of your situation, as opposed to fruitless fight against it, is actually the first step in the process, and I guess that was what she was trying to get to you to do.
From then on, it's a matter of establishing a sustainable lifestyle that could serve as the stable ground for future personality growth. Positively transforming your personality (by say, gaining gradual sense of self-acceptance) can be usually achieved by sustained positive feedback, which is something you are not going to experience if your life is falling apart: so to even start improving yourself, you need to first struggle through a state in which you secure yourself and stabilize your life (without being rewarded for it, because your personality does not allow you to reward yourself, you pathologically need others to do it for you). But that is only the first step in a series of possible alterations of your personality to become... well, less absolutely miserable in your existence.

Fun fact: despite knowing all of this, and going through a largely similar experience, I never succeeded. But then again, it's just me. I don't believe most others have to experience the same fate. Hell, maybe even I'll succeed eventually. Statistics suggest that it's a non-zero chance option, at least.

>>388937889
Nigger, I just literally accepted that you were right and I was wrong. Reading comprehension?

>>388937928
I know explaining stuff in a 4chan post always gives off the wrong impression, but even so: I also had that feeling that maybe I might feel myself as better than other, and I also suspected that I had a similar personality disorder, like narcissistic. Well, after being in therapy for a while I asked my psychiatrist, and she said that wasn't it, that while that kind of attitude might have been a self defense mechanism about not feeling loved (the "I don't need love from inferior beings" thing) I was actually pretty caring and genuinely loved other people, so it wasn't that kind of thing. But I'm sure these things are pretty hard to classify.

I fill the void by hanging out in shitty MMOs like Black Desert.
I play for like 12-15 hours a day. I know I'm wasting my life but it's the only thing I look forward to.

Depressed fags need to listen to Rush and Boston

>>388937928
And also, I hope you succeed, anon.

>>388932154
sounds like you just want to sit, bitch, piss and moan.

Done feeling sorry for 'depressed' people. Get up and make something of yourself or just dissolve in a fucking tub already.

>>388932453

just like riding a bike or that dragon dildo you recently bought, keep doing it and you get better at it, simple.

>>388937748
Yes
but that may be because I also started to read lots of Epictetus stuff who basically said "If you can't influence something its stupid to get sad/mad about it, be happy with what you have not what you haven't"

>>388938472
Fukken got 'em, /b/ro. All 7+ billion people on this planet are exactly like you and me, exquisite paragons of perfection!

>>388938597
Any recommendation in particular?

>>388932080
>Go socialize face-to-face with people and start exercising regularly, preferably outside in nature.
>Congrats, your depression is gone.


Shut your whore mouth.

>>388938632
I don't think there's 7 billion faggots making threads to lash out at people that aren't enabling them

>>388932080
>assuming everyone is an extrovert

You're probably going to make things worse for the guy

>>388933376
Yeah, thanks for pointing something we all know.

>>388934586
Start watching it then

>>388938632
>he thinks that because I can get through a day without whining on the internet that I think I'm perfect
you got some things to work out, my dude. Stop using 4chan as a sadness/pathetic enabler.

>>388937303

H E L P
E
L
P

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Alright OP this is what I want you to do

Go to your job in your country with high as fuck minimum wage
Then come home to your fully air conditioned house
Sit down and pull an ice cold beverage out of your fridge
Turn on your favorite film/game/music with no worry of your neighbors kicking the door down and shooting you in the head

Now repeat after me: "I am depressed"

>>388938369
Who are they?

>>388938934
Lmao you may be beyond saving my 17 year old friend

>>388937303
Pull the trigger my man

>>388938892
this.

'depressed' people are spoiled brats .

>>388939037
But I'm 18

>>388938674
my ex-gf gifted me a book once with lots of small texts from different philosophers but it was german-only
you can look around online for recommendations on how to start
stoicism helped me a lot not getting as easily depressed anymore

>>388937303
tell those thoughts "fuck you" and continue doing stuff that makes you happy even if those thoughts are trying to tell you otherwise

>>388938892
Not OP but I lost my job due to legitimate depression triggered by my relationship of 5 years crumbling and me having no friends
I'm gradually using up my money reserves (saved for wedding) on food and rent, and since I can't afford to buy new games I spend most my day on f2p MMOs in a sad attempt to make friends so I'm not completely alone

Any advice for someone who currently feels like shit, because he realizes he's going to die one day?

Nearly every waking minute I have thoughts about death and it's been going on for nearly 2 months now.

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>tfw depressed
>i don't eat
>i don't sleep
>i do nothing but think of you

>>388937992
Why did you feel the need to use a racial slur?

>>388939261
Try to do something you like to take your mind off ? If the thoughts are too intrusive and they cripple your daily life, consult.

>>388939261
Just kill yourself, that way you won't have to worry about dying anymore, since you will be dead.

>>388939261
realize that every other person you've ever met, every son of a bitch, every god damned faggot, every forgettable fuck, is also going to die and is also keenly aware of this

>>388939261
Fun fact.
You might (and likely find will) find yourself in a situation when you acutely realize having to keep on living, even for some limited time, is far more terrifying prospect than death.
Then you'll look back at how you felt today and laugh. Very, very bitterly.

Fuck me, I'd trade with you this fucking instant.

>>388938892
I'm depressed, but I fucking laughed at this shit. Congratulations

>>388936556
My 55 year old father has serve depression on a similar level. I wasn't aware he was a millennial. I swear you people are so fuckign stupid.

>>388939407
4chinz, brah

>>388939261
accept it as natural part of life
enjoy everything as good as you can as long as it lasts
you really have 2 choices
-enjoy life as best as you can
or
-don't enjoy life

I'd say its pretty easy to choose

>>388939237
thanks. but it's really hard to push them away
when you wake up in the morning or walk outside and your mind just keeps flashing thoughts of raping people or killing them... it makes me feel like I'm a monster and that I should be caged up or killed so I won't hurt anyone
but despite that I feel bad even when swatting mosquitoes so a part of me knows it's just thoughts and that I wouldn't hurt anyone
just very confusing stuff

>>388939432
>Try to do something you like to take your mind off ?
Doesn't help
Play video games - intrusive thoughts appear
Watch movies, shows, anime - intrusive thoughts appear
Do mundane everyday shit - intrusive thoughts appear

The only reason I think this happened is because I recently graduate from college and now I have too much free time.

DONT HAVE KIDS OR GET MARRIED

holy shit don't fucking do this if you want your depression to get better

Do that shit AFTER you get all of your shit together (top tier mental health and psychological well being, diet dialed in, no sleeping problems, in great shape, making a lot of money and have good prospects, etc)

Don't have kids if you're depressed OH MY GOD

>>388939938
Can't wait until we have mind reading technology so people like you can be safely euthanised.

Thoughts on having submissive fetishes? Do you think they are genuinely related to low self worth and by extension, depression?

>>388940259
gee thanks asshole

So I have literally no where else to go about this, which is actually part of the problem, so I'm just gonna throw it out here.

So I've literally never had someone that I felt confident in confiding in. Which means I have to bottle up my shit 100% of the time. This is what I've done for my entire life, and though its absolutely sucked I've survived, and honestly, I've become kind of proud of it. Recently I've been becoming more and more depressed after a particularly rough patch of my life and I feel like all this holding it in is starting to catch up with me. I can't remember the last time I felt this lonely. I have one person in my life that I truly care about and feel comfortable around. Just one, and recently I feel like he's been caring less and less.

Now this guy is quite literally and without any exaggeration the best friend I've ever had. I trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone else, even if it isn't as much as it probably ought to be because I just don't really trust anyone all that much. In a world where dozens of people have come and gone from my life without giving a fuck about my feelings, because I'm just too boring and socially inept to make a real friend out of, he's stuck with me since high school and not a day goes by where I don't thank the universe itself for bestowing the miracle of his friendship upon me.

Recently, however I feel like he really doesn't care as much as he used to, and the last time we hung out he really hurt me, or at least made me realize something that has hurt me in hindsight. The last several times we've been together he has done literally nothing but text other people or talk over me. He's always been really talkative, in fact, I think its part of why we work together so well. I'm awful at conversation, so he just does most of it for me and I occasionally render my thoughts and opinions, but he always made sure to give me time to speak in between his hour long ramblings CON'T

because he genuinely cared about what I have to say. Now it feels like he doesn't even want to acknowledge I exist because when he's not talking so much that I literally cannot get a complete thought in before I'm interrupted, he's texting two or three other people, even if we're in the middle of watching a movie or something, sometimes even pausing it and forcing me to wait while he texts without saying anything to me for 5-10 minutes at a time, and to twist the knife I have to sit and watch him converse with other people almost constantly in front of me, but when I text him it takes him hours or days for him to get back to me and when he does its never a conversation, just a couple messages back and forth. I guess I'm just too boring for him.

So this is my catch 22. I'm fucking depressed and the one person who I felt like I could maybe open up to, the only person I really have, has hurt me and might not even give a shit, but I feel like I just can't hold this shit in any more. I can't handle him getting bored and leaving me. I genuinely believe I'm human trash because nobody in my entire life has stuck around with me or felt like I was worth their time with the exception of this guy, and I won't be able to cope if he leaves me too. There is also the problem that after repressing all of my feelings and problems for this long I think I've actually lost the ability to share them. I don't know how I'd begin to make myself feel better about this shit.

What the hell do I do? I feel like maybe this shit isn't reflective of how he really feels and he's just being negligent, which he does have a tendency to be. I want to bring it up to him and let him know that he's hurt me but I can't bring myself to do it because he's the only person keeping me alive at this point, but on the other hand I don't feel like I can confide in him without clearing this up and I'm probably not going to start feeling any less depressed or lonely until I do. I'm so lost.

>>388939938
you're in control after all
and as long as you know that those thoughts are retarded/bullshit you're on the safe side

>>388940053
go outside
walk to a forest
start running until your muscles collapse and you can't move anymore

>faggots depressed on this board
>work in crude oil factory
>swim in crude oil
>do crude oil
>finally can go home
>finally can play video games
>crude oil makes fingers sticky can't play except xbox on the camera spy thing
>not derpossed

>>388940419
Wow, sorry for wanting to protect people from monsters like you.

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>>388940575
Just talk to your friend

>>388940597
Well we can't all be captains of industry, can we?
>be me
>have to mind my aunts house
>haven't been here in over a year
>in that year, the dogs must have not seen the light of day
>mangy and smelly
>shit everywhere
>piss stains everywhere
>dogs won't leave me alone
>just trying to sit in the back of the house and shitpost
Could be worse
>>388940996
Goddammit what is it with asian dudes and hilarious senior quotes? Is it genetic or something?

>>388940575
Tell him to stop being such a fucking faggot

>>388940575
He's not your gf.

>>388940597
>>work in crude oil factory
>>swim in crude oil
>>do crude oil
>>finally can go home
>>finally can play video games
>>crude oil makes fingers sticky can't play except xbox on the camera spy thing

>swim in crude oil
>"do" crude oil
>factory won't let you wash hands even when home so fingers are still sticky

what the fuck happens in crude oil factories?

Become gay and get a bf

>>388932080
Holy shit, someone give this man a Nobel prize, he's found a cure for clinical depression!

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>>388932080
>Goes outside
>robbed
>gets shot
>stabbed
>ranover

yeah no thanks.