>boot up this game to catch up on my retro backlog >understand

>>388093367
>figure out how to jump
>have to time it perfectly
>no onscreen prompt, have to figure out the timing on your own

Honestly OP it's such a shit game, poor design and definitely not fun.

>>388093367
I don't even know why literally the first NPC in the game is hostile. I try to walk up and talk to him and I get killed? I was just supposed to know I was supposed to kill him first before he even does anything? I must have missed the part where Mario is a 'stomp first ask questions later' type of guy.

>>388093367
Looks like we're going to have to remove any enemies in any game (too confusing for new players)

>>388094823
The game is too violent anyways, video games should teach people things, not just how to jump on anyone you don't like

>>388093367
Jesus Christ. This. This. A thousand times this! I get killed by the first thing on screen with no chance to avoid it? Don't' even know what the buttons do at this point in the game.
Really fucking bad difficulty curve. They should have some tutorial level before.

>first enemy teaches you to not touch enemies
>later you have to literally jump on enemies to proceed

what the fuck nintendo?

>>388094742
It's just toxic masculinity at work. Mario even gets bigger and more aggressive when he gets a mushroom power up. There's no diplomatic solutions that rely on the player's emotional intelligence. I bet the devs though a female player character would be "too hard" to model. What a joke.

Apparently you can jump on ennemies to kill them. This is so fucking dumb, when the ennemy touch you, you die, so why would you try jumping on it? Also where are the shops in this game? I got like 50 somethings coins and I don't know what to do with them.

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Oh, and don't even get me started on this fucking asshole

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>>388095229
>yfw this becomes a feminists actual argument

>>388095283
Only thing you can buy are extra lives. They cost a hundred gold per life and for some reason you buy them automatically when you can afford them. I guess kids back in the simpler days weren't smart enough to figure out how shops work.

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>>388095117
>Literally changing the rules a few levels later
This enemy is fucking broken. You can't kill it without some OP power-up that's only available in some levels.

>>388093367
It is described in the manual

>>388093367
>Quest objectives nowhere to be found
>Can't toggle life bar on
>Can only fast travel with an item
>No voice acting
>NO SAVE/LOAD
Into the trash it goes. Can't believe people liked this shit.

>>388095401
I don't even bother with enemies anymore since they don't even seem to give any experience or loot.

>>388095407
The what now?

>>388095407
You don't read a book in order to watch a movie. You shouldn't have to do that for a game of all things. Games about the purity of interaction. Everything should be made clear by, oh you know, PLAYING the GAME.

I'm just surprised they made a game with an Italian protagonist yet when there is trouble you're not allowed to just run away in the opposite direction or join the enemies side.

>>388095283
Can't cash in points either. So fucking arbitrary. Oh, and if you spend too long trying to figure out the puzzles, like the huge hole in the earth you need to figure out how to cross? When the timer runs out you don't only lose bonus points, but you die as well.

>>388095407
You mean like the devs explained it on their forum or something? How am I supposed to know that, I only browse Reddit

>>388095489
Is there any incentive to killing enemies at all? It just seems like the risk:reward ratio is skewed. No, ''score'' is not a valid answer. It doesn't give me anything.

>can't romance the Red Shell Koopa Trooper

It's 2017. If I want to play TransMario and have a homonormative trans-kin romance with a Red Shell Koopa I should be able to. Nintendo are bigots.

>>388095531
>in order to play boardgame or cardgame, rules are set in place
>this does not apply to video games
>computers have a manual
>guns have instructions
>being able to drive a car does not require learning the rules of the road

Come on faggot, anything interactive requires a manual. Even setting up the dvd player has a manual.
Video games have manuals for controls.

>>388095407
I don't know why games still have manual when they're clearly much better with automatic

>>388095576
Nah it seems to be killing just for the sake of killing. No wonder so many kids in the 80s grew up to be psychopaths.

>>388095628
>comparing VIDEO games to BOARD games

>>388095683
More like BORED games am I rite? Fuck dice. They're numerist. Who says 6 is better than one? Old white men, thats who.

>>388095628
Or you can build the instruction in the experience. That's why nobody read the instruction on Tupperwares or why a lot of Board games have now rules explained while playing.

Nobody check the instruction on a TV or how the cellphone work.

>>388093367
>HAVE to kill some enemies to progress
This is such bullshit, why would I kill those innocent creatures living their lives?
You don't have to do that in Undertale, a masterpiece this game will never come close to reaching in terms of quality of gameplay.

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>>388093367
>pretending to be stupid on /v/

>>388095767
In some games, 6 is worse than 1. In some RPG systems, you want 1s and 2s to hit stuff.

>>388093367
>can't beat bowser without killing him
Ruined my non-lethal run

>>388093367
The game is about jumping, but when I jump I fall into random pits and enemies that I couldn't see coming.

desu Mario was never good

>>388096056
I am pretty sure OP was making a joke.

>>388093367
awwww babby must be spoonfed, how adorable

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>>388093367
Holy FUCK I can't BELIEVE OP can't even make it through fucking MARIO, a game made for LITERAL CHILDREN, without the need of fucking tutorials!! I am OUTRAGED!

How do I lock-on? Dodging feels kinda weird when I can't lock on.

>>388096542
Sorry, nintendo didn't get a lock-on feature until like half a decade later

You guys are a lot less funny than you think you are

You know these threads are a whole lot funnier if some people didn't always BREAK FUCKING CHARACTER

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>>388096657
and your a lot more GAY than you think you are


hehehe

>>388093367
what game?

>>388096657
Well, I can't find the joke tutorial, so who is to blame?

>>388096628
What stubborn donkeys. Why would they take so long to include such an elementary feature? Why do they refuse to learn from more modern experiences all the damn time?

>>388096657
>Thread doing spot on impression of typical /v/ topics
>Not funny
Surprise!

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I tried talking to this NPC in the first area but I keep aggroing him and he kills me with one hit? What the fuck are the requirements for him to turn friendly, I feel like I'm missing out on something.

Also why is there no dialogue box? He just attacks me

Why are pipes so inconsistent? You can go down one but you can't go down the one next to it, and there's no distinguishing factor between traversible and non-traversible pipes, dey arr rook same.

>>388093367
Why is Mario smiling when he dies?

>>388096903
>bushes are just lazily recolored cloud assets

KEK was this made by Bethesda??

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>>388096989

>>388096924
I guess that's something else you have to read up on in the instruction book that apparently came with this "game"

>>388093367
I know this is bait, but,

>Mario Bros. 3
>Marios Bros. 2
>Mario Bros. 1

You had two games to learn the mechanics.

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>>388096903
>that tiling ground texture

>>388096974
Because he is about do descent into the depth of his own lore.

>>388097127
Wasn't it

>Mario Bro
>Mario Bros
>Mario Bro 3
And then they suddenly called it "Mario's World"?!

> 500 second timer
How tf are you supposed to explore the world when Nintendo's railroading you this hard?

>>388097127
You get the 1st 2 games free?

>>388096072
>mansplaining this hard
I bet your knees are more spaced out than your hips right now aren't they you fucking pig

>>388097301
They're not even real seconds, they're "Mario seconds". Nintendo doesn't even know how time works.

>>388097230
Super Mario Worlds is casualized western babby shit.

...i...

I don't get it.

Is this thread a thing or am i just dumb?

>>388097579
The latter

>>388097579
OMG YAAAASSSSS
this thread is my EVERYTHING
ALL OF THIS SO MUCH

>>388093367

baitin and role playing aside.

Dont be a fag read the manual that is of course goin on the assumption you aint a dirt pirate fag pirating the shit out of this instead of seeking out complete physical copies box and Manuel included as a whole.


fucking pirate fag whining about shit without first finding and consulting the game manual.

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>>388098336
>act like retard
>retards show up
>they think that this is the place for them

/v/ users are the reason /v/ is fucking horrible.

Fuck OP's shitposting, but let's discuss backlogs.
>load up retro gauntlet
>click on psx
>get rising can
>load it into my raspberry pi
>play the first level, having a good time
>best boss
>black screen
>3 minutes later next fmv plays
>3 minute black screen
>next level
Wtf is up with these black screen? Was the game always like this?

>>388099134
the fuck is rising can??

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>>388093367
>everyone in thread falling for obvious bait

>>388099780
>i was just pretending to be retarded
see
>388098726

>>388099338
Rising Zan*

>>388099952
oh

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>best thread on /v/ is an everyone is pretending to be retarded thread

Fuck me, man

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>>388102279
>pretend

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>>388097127

It's not even bait, you buffoon.

In all seriousness, moreso in 3D platformers but enemies are just irritants more often than not

>>388103872
So, what platformers do you enjoy then? Dustforce and nothing else?