European Speedrunner Assembly "I am really sorry"

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>Speedrun

Why are europeans so bad at speedrunning? Most of them went overtime.

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mechs are over

>20 posts early
>no ESA 2017 in subject
shamefur display

>>385063824
Well at least it isn't yump tier of choke yet.

>>385063870
At least it's the EPIC edition like some fucking /vg/ thread

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>tfw if this series would ever get revived Rayne would be made to be fat, black, trans, or all of the above

Exactly how many hours until FFVIII?

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reminder that a chad scammed two anons out of $15 earlier today

>Give a child a PIZZA

What did they mean by this

>>385063995
No you can only do that for side characters. Main characters have to be white or else they don't sell, everyone knows that.

I don't think I can watch speedruning event without awkward traps anymore.

>>385064137
>traps
Trans!=trap.

>>385063995
>if this series would
English, mother fucker.

>>385064301
I doubt those retards were brave enough to chop their willy.

>>385064080
The next event supports a charity that helps prevent childhood obesity, and they need fat kids for the sappy ads.

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>mfw I'm going to miss the FF8 speedrun

>>385064464
lucky you, it's autistic and boring as shit

>tell announcer he can read donations
>there are none
>ask again five minutes later

EVERY FUCKING TIME

>>385064582
I already donated so I am okay

>>385064514
Let me guess. Drawing and Abusing the junction system to become unkillable gods early game and then it's just a let's play

>>385064414
I still don't think that falls under the trap category. They actually think they are a woman while a trap just wants to dress like one.

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>big boy

>>385064582
Saying there aren't any donations guilts someone out there into doing it.

>>385064692
Yeah you have to actually be a convincing woman in order to be a trap and we all know that trannies sure as fuck don't put any effort into that

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>several hours straight of games I've never heard of and so far not at all interesting to watch

decent accented russian/10

>take a shot everytime the run goes overtime

>even more PC shovelware coming up

what the fuck is wrong with yuros

>>385064695
>>385064695
>>385064695
>>385064695

>I disapprove of the insinuations of this this vampire woman but I still want to donate to the stream

>>385064993
All the transapproved games were taken by AGDQ

>EUROPEAN Speedunner Assembly
>China woman
???

>>385064936
It's like it's the graveyard shift or something

>these annoying chads again

These fuccboi announcers

IT'S RAW

>I'll kiss him again ;)
>b-but it's for the donations!
Why are you Europeans so fucking GAY!?!?!

So what is being european like?

This event looks so cheap and soviet like

BASED gordon ramsay finally gets to run

>>385064936
that's the best anon

>>385065248
Something tells me he'd kiss him for free.

chef ramsay makes NO mistakes

Better not see any fucking glitches
>crash already

>>385064936
You've never heard of turok and bloodrayne before?

>crashed already

kek this is gonna be good

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>drtchops is commentating
He really fucked himself with that mirrors edge meme commentary

FAST

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>>385064464
Runs that last for over 2 hours should be illegal

>>385065375
but he was the highlight of Dishonored

did anyone webm the kiss? I missed it

is this that terrible motrocycle gang game?

holy FUCK this looks like garbage

That fat guy reminds me of someone

>>385065378
The FF7 run was actually one of the better ones at SGDQ. You just need some good commentary to carry it.

>the developer of this game turned into CD Projekt
BASED game

The Dark Souls of...

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>Get comfy.

>>385065534
he's ran like two games and sat on the couch for like 3 runners

>>385065614
Gameplay hasn't changed a bit.

>>385065534
he looks like mega fat bubbles del fuego

This is some Sonic Boom strats.

>fat dude recognized from GDQ's
>I'm so angry about video games

/v/ Personified

>>385065652
Ah, no, I know who he is, he just reminds me of a movie or game character but I can't think of what

Do people donate with messages like "Greetings from America" and "Ethically purge the animals" in this event?

>>385065534
He reminds me of the meathead from Fight Club.

"In life we have no name, but in death we have a name. And his is Robert Paulson"

>>385065879
no, but seen plenty of "wife's son" donaitons

>>385065879
No, just meme shit

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>>385065818

fuck this annoying announcer

>>385066027
Shit's still scary.

>>385066051
fuck you anonymous

This doesn't look like a very fun speedrun

>never happened before
drink up guys

You guys bitch about GDQ but this is what happens when you don't have standards.

>>385066173
Looks like my typical PC games, I'm enjoying this a lot.

>>385066212
Variety and laid back commentary? Yeah, it's pretty great.

What's worse /v/, relying on safety saves like the HGSS run or having the run just die like Wind Waker?

>>385066212
No, when you don't have standards what happens is two people meet and you are born 9 months later.

>>385066354
I missed the WW one did someone beef hard

looks like it'll be a fun game desu

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>>385066173
confirmed by the fact that literally no one else speedruns it

>black monk
>smacks lips
>DUN GOTTA TALK WHENZ I KEEL

>shaddup ;)
Why am I watching thsi? Do I really have nothing else better to do?

>>385066243
Nice to enjoy it with you, friend.

>>385065614
Was that geralt i heard saying "shut-up"?

>>385066420
You tell me. I turned the stream off after two runners failed their tricks for literally an hour

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>>385066360
DAAAAAAAAAAMN

>>385066420
Both runners did. They were basically trying TAS glitches and failed at two different locations.

>>385066420
>someone
It was a double mercy kill.

>>385066420
Both did, they kept fucking up tricks until they killed the race.

>>385066453
Clean your room.

>>385066212
you're right i wish another nintendo game was on right now instead

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ALttP filename.
What'll it be, /v/?

>>385066558
>implying super mario sunshine isn't better than this

>>385066567
IWATA

>>385066212
I surely enjoyed the forced mentally ill transgender people

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>>385066360

europeans are sitting speedrunning video games in front other autists while alpha muslims are fucking their women lol

>>385066420
TPHD any% requires retarded luck to even complete, its a 2 hour run then a diceroll to even see if you can continue it

>it's raw

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>>385066567
>KEK

>>385066631
It never will be because of that goddamn pachinko level.

>>385066558
Paper Mario was kino so I agree with your shitty sarcasm.

>>385066212
I like the audience and runner interaction though

>day 2
>only $45,000

literally Europoors.

>>385066631
>>385066737
This is why people only tune in for the drama.

Post more Kumikos

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>>385066864
already halfway to their goal

The loading screens look like those Spongebob memes

>>385066864
if only anonymous could donate 5000 dollars with no comment like gdq...

>>385066420
They both got stuck for about 40 minutes or more in different areas, until it was already over the estimate without them being close to being done, they decided to stop.

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>>385066360
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This some nasty ass speedrunning I hate you so much but the comfy game ridiculous

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PC speedruns are so boring to watch, all that savescumming kills that risk factor that makes them entertaining to watch.

>>385066864
>AQGD donations
>half of it goes to transsurgery for all the upcoming mentally ill amerifat speedrunners

>>385066212
Fun?

what the fuck is the story of this game?
he was some dude in jeans and a t-shirt
then he was a cyber guy with white hair
now he's a cyber demon?

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>>385066360

This is like how all console exclusive 3rd person games were in the late 90's early 2000's.

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>>385067216
Don't forget
>This glitch only works in version 1.05b etc
>This trick is only possible by crashing the game using this background program
Also the fucking random spontaneous crashes. I mean there are entertaining pc runs but I really wish they'd have some standards

>>385067240
You joke, but GDQ takes like a $400,000 cut.

>>385067216
>all that savescumming kills that risk factor that makes them entertaining to watch.
what about the constant crashes and corrupt save files

s-stop

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poetry reading

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>>385067524
>this strat only works with this wallpaper with bonzi buddy installed

lmao this fucking game

marathons with 1 hour max limit when

>reading poems to the audience to pass the time

Europe is a weird place.

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>these poems

>>385067771
Good reference.

GDQ - sterile normiebait
ESA - autismkino

>>385067749
We're cuktured and sophisticated, fool.

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I went to a school poetry jam when I was a kid and the audience laughed at me and I cried. Just thought I'd share that.

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Fun allowed during this marathon.

is that an exploit

>>385067524
>>385067603
And the "I failed this so I'm loading this save where I got the skip." PC speedrunning is a joke.

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Fucking poetry. Do your shitty american speedrun events have poetry readings? No? Fucking thought so.

>entire game is a dream
it just keeps getting better

>>385067819
It's the speedFUN we deserve

This is a 10/10 run fuck off fags

>same games from gdq are being run here
for what purpose

>>385067867
NASA had a GDQ fanfiction reading.
That was pretty interesting.

>>385067851
Give us some poems and more pictures please

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>>385067851

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he's caught in a loop
>alright fuck that shit

>>385067851
>failed poet
>good taste
You might be me.

>attacking and strafing while restoring energy
this is just like dark souls

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What beautiful composition. Europe doesn't have commentators, it has poets.

Why is save scumming allowed?

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>shitty fucking PC games
a blast of the past
I'm enjoying this a bit too much

>>385068246
No one else runs this game, so no one can set the rules.

>>385068182
2B is pleb shit, actual good taste would be A2. Now off yourself.

>4 minutes under
holy SHIT 10/10

>>385067859
I think the worst part is when they play the pc port of a console game just to abuse saves and faulty programming. I mean at least speedrun the original game

based chef ramsay finishing underestimate

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>>385067857
I'm having tanoshii

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why is europe so fucking gay

>>385068321
I was thinking more of the outfit and art style, but if you insist.

fuck these chads
let chops and ramsay comment

>>385068387
Like?

>>385068440
Women pee birth control and it gets in the water

>guy on right keeps talking about kissing guy on left

ok he's kind of taking it too far, its just weird

oh boy here we go again

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>>385068440
I can give you a hug if you want? a bit homo

H-homo...

what the fuck is this

I'm starting to suspect that these two are latent homosexuals

How much money do I have to donate for him to blow him on stream?

>>385068450
>cat bra pixiv meme
Now REALLY off yourself. You can't stop me from displaying my superior taste captcha.

>monkeys paw I wish for speed running event not run by trannies
>you got it
>is run by flaming European faggots

>>385068614
I'll chip in twenty.

>>385068614
Theyre not gay its just a joke idiot

>>385068614
Donate 10k and see what happens

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Since everyone is so wrapped up in the speedruns, no one is going to notice that Bullet is my waifu and I main her

>>385068662
Wouldn't take it any other way.

>>385068614
just five bucks, they really want to support the charity ; )

>>385068662
pick your poison

>>385068715
Are her nipples actual bullets

if i donate 10 thousand dollars will they stand bumming eachother on stream haha jw lol

>can't see off screen maral doing jokes
just

>>385068652
I'm glad you can't display your superior smell, you stinky nerd.

WTF GET THAT HAIRY PERSIAN CUNT ON CAMERA NOW REEEEEEE

>>385068672
It's not gay to suck a dick if you're just doing it as part of a joke.

>he asks for less money every time to kiss the other guy
bring back the persian pls

this makes me want to have proto instead

>>385068826
sucking dick is literally not gay

ARX
R
X

>>385068829
>2 hours later
>"If someone in chat asks me to make out with him I'll do it I swear to god"

>>385068862
Taking it up your ass is the only gay part

wew
This is getting a bit too saucy for me.

GDQ BTFO

>>385068854
why? are you starting to question your sexuality?

hahahah..this is so much comfier than gdq.

>>385068889
Yeah, seriously. Someone get these fruits off the air so I can enjoy some nostalgia.

I was told there were no degenerates in Europe, what is this shit.

>Europeans shave their chests

Isn't that.....kinda gay??

>>385068662
at least they aren't telling you how excited they are about the newest game featuring characters that represent their sexuality

where is mommy?

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>>385068826

>>385068826
>he never sucked off whoever fell asleep first with his bros and made them cum on their own face as a joke

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>Talks about kissing the other guy
>Tells him to unbutton his shirt
>Does the hide-a-boner leg-cross

FUCK YEAH!! TIME FOR FINNISH AUTISM

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>>385068440
There are definitely some serious homosexual undertones to this event, like an end of Rome style orgy is going to break out on camera at any second. Is this what Europe is usually like?

>>385069086
These are the symptoms of prolonged exposure to Sweden.

>>385069065
does it cancel out if its a finnish speedrunner?

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If the main character in this game was a dog it'd be Barx Fatalis

>>385068498
Can't think of much but Silent Hill 2 atm, but many pc ports of games add stupid "save everywhere" features for no reason.

why are yurop speedrunners more superior than burgers?

>this swearing
>this shameless faggotry
>this don't give a fuck what the moral guardians think mentality

I'm enjoying this way more than gdq to be perfectly honest

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>>385069172
go away carlos

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>even the runner thinks this game is boring

>>385069172
But if it were superman it would be Clarx Fatalis?

Damn I'd take the same oldschool Nintendo games we've seen a billion times now over those boring generic knights and sorcerers western games.

>>385068979
it's not gay m8.
>not shaving your chest so you clean off muslim cum easier
fucking americans i swear

>>385068979
i have really hairy nipples but my chest hair doesnt reach and fully surround them yet... should i shave my nipple hair until my chest hair catches up and it becomes a unified whole or should i leave my insanely hairy nipples as they are, encircled by smooth white skin

>runner speaking low as shit
>if I turn the volume up the announcer will attempt to assault my ears
Send help

>>385069291
it's basically fantasy Halo 1

>>385069347
Sounds terrible.

>>385069296
If it was your mom It'd be Barfx Analis.

>>385069320
You can go anytime. I'll take these, I grew up with these and enjoy these most.
Such is the life of Finn.

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>>385069405

This Finnish guy looks part Asian are all Finns this "white"?

>>385069331
>not letting your pink nipples have the "sun" look, with the hairs symbolizing the rays.

why is that fat mirrors edge commentator here

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>um the framerate is too high, gotta lower it

>>385069167
Exponential

>>385069393
It's a neat game. The crafting system is in-world, so you combine things in front of you and cook over the fires. If you like older games at all, it's worth trying. The GOG version must be around somewhere.

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>>385069479
oispa

games looks pretty cool actually

>>385069535
Decades of socialism destroys any sense of discipline a country has. You are now experiencing this first hand.

how can Morrowind even compete with this game???

>>385069535
old games were coded differently. higher fps literally breaks games pre-2000.

>>385069535
I lot of games have physics that acts differently depending on framerate. For example there are a lot of games where you can clip through walls more easily on low framerates because the game only checks wall collision on frames that it renders.

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>>385069705
Fucking pinkos stealing my frames so they can give them to some leech on a toaster.

>>385069725
>old games
Or if it's Bethesda, since Skyrim still shits itself at >60fps.

>f bomb
>r bomb
fuckin' get this guy OUTTA here

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>I'm fucking retarded

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>im fucking retarded

why have none of these speedruns gone right to far?

as a retarded i am offended

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>>385069936
Because fun is allowed.

>>385069936
PC speedrunning lol

>>385069875
>>385069886
>>385069927
SGDQ cucks on suicide watch

>>385069936
>right to far
You tell me.

Did I just hear the first couple notes from that meme Jojo outro song

this guy is mad.

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>this is a trainwreck

>>385070085
Oh you mean Last Train Home?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG7jKUHsLfY

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>This is a trainwreck anyway

The only way this could be more European is if they start smoking as they play.

>>385070157
all finns are raging alcoholics

>>385070246
I don't see any tracksuits or weird delicacies.

>>385069936
imagine that this guy ra the game 200 times over the past year or two
but only once did he set the vsync setting

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>No backup saves
Is he brave or crazy, I can't tell the difference.

>Historically europeans were always gayer than americans

>Hoewever americans reached the point where merely saying a no-no word can drop them on the floor as they drown on a river of their own tears

What happened?

wtf

>save the children

>torches kid for no reason
>save the children

this runner is based

i miss these sorts of games
fuck you Bethesda

>>385070443
California and New York are not all Americans. It's still the last western country standing where the government can't put you in jail for saying mean things.

that kid got fuckin owned

jesus, do you kill every quest NPC in this game

>>385070418
No, he's Finnish

holy fug this finn is insane

>>385070592
You can, and the game can still be finished. The stuff you have to do changes based on who is alive, kind of like in Deus Ex.

>>385070585
yeah, unless it's directed towards the government.

Say anything about wanting a judge or other public servants dead and watch how fast you end up dragged out of your house., even if you didn't say you were going to do anything.

>>385070640
He's not done yet.

>>385070640
Well I'm too, which is why I'm trying to understand him.

>>385070640
he's not finnish, he still has another 17 minutes.

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>tfw you will never be a finnish speedrunner or f1 driver because you didn't grow up with the roads there

>>385070585
Try and talk out about the cops and. America has just conditioned its citizens to think it's the most free place in the world or whatever.

>>385070773
Unless it's directed towards Democrats*

Tens of thousands of liberals spend hours every day tweeting and faceberging about wanting Trump dead, wanting Clarence Thomas dead. Nothing happens. No media coverage.

Remember that time a man had an Obama scarecrow on his front lawn and the media did not shut up about it for over two weeks?

>oh a dog

PLEASE NO DON'T BURN DOGGO

Just tuned in for TK running HP1
Is Arx Fatalis fun?

>tfw spurdo memes in twitch chat
feels good

>>385071002
Good boy, keep eating up that Republican propaganda. They control the entire government and they still can't stop whining about being persecuted.

i-is the doggie ok?

fucking hell i thought he was going to blast the dog.

>>385071167
looks like a better Morrowind

>>385071167
I recommend it, if you like older games. The speedrun doesn't really sell the neat concepts.

>>385070837
Even then, you can never comprehend Finnish autism.

>>385070885
I too remember that time the US government told a baby's parents they won't be allowed to pursue treatment options even if they paid for them themselves.

No, wait, that never happened.

>>385071202
Neocons are not Republicans and are indistinguishable from the average federal level Democrat. Actual Republicans remain a small minority in government

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>>385071335
>every branch of government is Republican majority
>"yeah but those republicans are actually democrats"

>>385071637
hes right though neo-cons are just democrats in disguise

but, video games

that would've spooked me over a decade ago

>>385071851
Pretty scary desu

>Mii-lee combat

>>385071940
nobody actually knows how to pronounce it correctly

>>385071985
My favorite is "melly"

hmm let's see the schedule for whats up next...

hmmm...ahh there it is.............harry potter......


......

*POP* *thud*

>yuros holding a pepe emote hostage
uh

NIGGER EMOTE IS BACK ON THE MENU BOIZ

>>385071985
It's pronounced Melee.

>>385071938
Why are older games scarier than modern ones?

>>385072082
Always bet on TK.

>>385072101
(/ˈmeJleJ/ or /ˈmɛleJ/

>a game with actual crafting
whoa

>>385071794
You know you are in a bad spot when the 2 main parties are indistinguishable from eachother and the 2 other popular options are pseudo fash and commies.

>>385072216
maylayy

>>385072174
liberal use of darkness
less highly orchestrated music, more thematic soundtracks
character can get fucked by monsters easily
i dunno

most of these levels look claustrophobic and samey as fuck tbqh

>>385072237
DemSoc is hardly communism. Corbyn is making big waves in the UK without being Stalin's return.

>>385072174
Usually less shit on the screen
No uncanny valley feeling
Less flashy

>>385072237
why do you think trump got serious support

he's just nothing, he's trump. people would rather vote in a nobody than deal with our parties anymore.

>>385072174
shitty graphics

Quality animation

>>385072418
Also getting Trump into history books is a pretty solid practical joke

is that some over estimate I see

>>385072569
he had the vsync issue be NICE!!!!!!!!

>>385072418
>>385072551
Trump has been a pretty good president so far.
Just has had unprecedented opposition for no reason

>>385072174
Even older games that were not made to be spooky often have an empty or eerie feeling due to system limitations for how much stuff you could simultaneously pack onto the visuals and audio. Modern games are overproduced.

>>385072670
Trump has done jack shit except tax exemptions for himself.

>>385072739
I'm sure CNN told you all about it, anon

>>385072670
Nice bait

RATE

>>385072861
comfy, 6/10

File: q3ctf4.jpg (40KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 800x600px

>>385072696
Playing CTF over an abyss always creeped me out.

>>385072418
Someone should've predicted his neocon entourage that actually runs the white house.
I would've said Pence is doing it but it's still the same middle of the road bullshit politics that have been happening since Reagan left so it's probably not him.

nigga is just getting the fuck on outta there

>>385072861
7/10

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'arry potter next

>>385072739
ok reddit

>>385072861
Overestimate/10

HARRY POTTER TIME, GET IN HERE LADS

WHO THE FUCK IS HYPE I KNOW I AM
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

>>385072861
Where are all the female speedrunners?
I thought over 50% of gamers were women

What shitty game is this?

>>385072861
This is a trainwreck/10

>>385072981
I thought girls were less likely to get attain autism.

>>385072981
they're all busy at the farmville and peggle speedrunning event

>>385072981
our generation's women missed the marketing wave and still had to play with barbies because of their mums
next generation will have more women in speedrunning

>>385072981
You can't speedrun Candy Crush.

>>385072670
>no reason
Do we need to bring up the breakdown of why every single one of his reasons for backing out of the Paris Agreement were. at best, founded on a fundamental misunderstanding of the agreement on its most basic levels?

>>385072861
Comfy 6, I might just like Arx Fatalis though.

WHERE'S THE FUCKING AID AD

>>385073106
WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR

Always bet on TK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TrRC0kGbNo

>>385073153
NOTHING!

>>385073153
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

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Whoa, who are these 2 cute boys?

Everytime i hear about Dave's diarrhea a piece of me dies.

Whoa, does the guy on the left have a fresh hickey?

>>385073102
you can speedrun any game, all you have to do is decide what the run category will be

>>385073315
Miltent and Squeakyshoes. Are you having trouble reading, anon?

>>385073315
I bet their daddies taught them how to not tear the skin.

>tfw Lazar isn't European

sup TK

Quality

persian better be coming back

>we're gonna have to transition during this run

those 2 look straight out of those gay porn webms.

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>lowkey want to watch them kiss

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17KB, 480x360px

>>385073743

File: Not Rape.gif (1MB, 296x218px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 296x218px

>>385073789

Who here is ready for Flipendo?

>in about 3 hours: final fantasy
>in about 13 hours...

holy FUCK, is the FF run actually 10 hours long???

If ESA has kissing as a donation incentive, would GDQ have an incentive for Edobean to do the Truffle Shuffle?

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is Harry Potter gonna be comfy?

>>385073789
Why do you know what gay porn webms look like ?
>>385073883
Oh man spamming flippendo was so fucling satisfying.

>>385073889
FF sucks like that, yes
luckily the 2nd stream starts up 3-4 hours after

>>385073789
You mean the orgy one?

>>385073920
Anything can be comfy. Lay down, close your eyes, boom comfy.

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>>385073920
FLIPENDO

File: albino_clifford.jpg (57KB, 606x592px) Image search: [Google]

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>5 completely different games based on the first movie

what the fuck were they thinking