European Speedrunner Assembly Will fuzzy make it ? edition

Fucked up the Op, sorry

NOW : Wind Waker HD
NEXT : RIse of the tombraider
THEN : Mirror's Edge

>Dustforce DX

We Tetris now (or very soon at least)

Double mercy kill incoming

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Is it me, or they've been in the same spot for 10 minutes now?

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I love mirrors edge so much god fucking damnit I can't wait

>>385013097
They have, and the brit is 45 minutes behind.

>>385013097
>10 minutes

>>385013097
it's been more like 30 minutes

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>>385013097
>10 minutes

>>385013097
>10 minutes
Left guy started his choke at 1:20, right guy at 1:00.
It's almost 2 hours into the run

>>385013080
I'm prepared for 2 more hours of choking without mercy kill

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>EST: 02:00:00

>plenty of time for Fuzzy to come back
>he can't get the warp glitch to work

Bruh, just fuck my whole life up right now

>>385013123
I've been playing Catalyst recently. God it's so bad.

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only 2 mins left!

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Isn't this supposed to be better than GDQ?

Euroshits?

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At least he ain't the guy on the right.

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>check stream, Englishman is struggling
>go afk for a bit, have a fap after getting a good recommendation over at /tv/'s GoT thread
>come back to /v/ and the stream
>Englishman still choking

I ask you: isn't he behind 60 minutes by now? Has there ever been a worse choke at a speedrun even than this guy?

They're both shit

Has there ever been a double mercy kill before?

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Feelan pretty excited for tetris block w/o queers and fags

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>>385013261
The fucking blur filter and the shitty fucking popin and n64 teir texture blurring is actual fucking hell
I want to love i

>>385013336
Or a 1 hour+ choke.

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>Everything slightly funny is a meme

Nice let's play done relatively quickly.

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>speedrun
>35 minutes in the same spot
we could have had whole speedruns in that time.

this run is amazing!

>>385013403
Literally everything is a meme, by definition.

>>385013345
Wasn't Qlex the frenchie that was in the first GDQ Tetris exhibition? That first time they showed it was amazing, shame it got filled with trannies.

I FORGOT TO KISS MY CONTROLLER!

>>385013276
if a run is shit just switch to the second stream. Tiny chance that both runs are equally shit but better than being stuck with a tranny run in gdq

>>385013417
This. Today has been a complete fucking waste.

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>''''''''''''''''speed''''''''''''''''''run

I believe they can do it

they can actually do it, and top this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlEFrs-m2PE

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>literally giving up

>this is the last try
>this is the last try
>this is the last try
>this is the last try

This has been kind of funny in how awful it's been

>>385013450
Literally everything is everything, by definition.

How many "completely out of your hands because RNG" skips does this run have? Who thought it would be a good idea to run at a marathon?

Linkus needs to shut the fuck up

>>385013450
Monsoon please leave ESA threads.

GET READY FOR MERCY SUICIDE

wtf is the guy on the right doing?

this is why people think speedrunners are autistic

L A S T T R Y
A
S
T

T
R
Y

stop pausing

>>385013479
>than being stuck with a tranny run in gdq
Oh, fuck off. Stop giving a few individual assholes a human shield via the ability to say you're attacking the group they associate with.

Is this, dare I say it, worse than GDQ?

>>385013561
Left one is RNG. Right one is just TAS level.

>>385013583
He's trying a trick that requires frame perfect input along with exact positioning.

They finally killed it

>>385013583
Choking

Why aren't they playing the game as it is supposed to be played instead of doing these retarded things that doesn't work?

DOUBLE MERCY KILL

holy fuck how infuriating

so this...is the power....of europe....

Never played WW or any Zelda for that matter. How much does this take to complete casually for someone who knows the game?

>>385013646
hell no
I dont see any talentless tranny freaks running around, that automatically makes this better

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>not even beat the game

urop

What a JOKE

Speedrunning, lads

>>385013717
At least they were funny to mock, this is just a waste of time, yesterday was comfy though.

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THAT SUCKED ASS

fuzzy couldn't even crash the game

>>385013646
THIS shit is, they would tell them to hurry along and stop trying to use skips like these.

that or these guys haven't practiced hard enough to do this shit like when cosmo used to

FUCK
SHIT
I MEAN NARCISSIA!
NOT A HE, DEFINITELY A SHE!

>let me do this frame+position perfect trick in a marathon, surely nothing will go wrong

what a bunch of dumbasses

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>Cut them off mid-sentence

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Well, at least there's no trannies.

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>this guy's freaky fucking stick arms

>Windows update

What happened?

So this is why this category was not allowed at SGDQ.

>One RNG trick
>One that requires TAS

Well, that's a good basis for a race.

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most entertaining run so far

10/10

>>385013670
>Right one is just TAS level.
That was the one I was mostly curious about. I've seen some stuff about the zombie hover skip, I'm not sure why they thought something that you can fail to RNG constantly while otherwise doing everything else consistently perfect was a good idea for a marathon. Especially since you have literally no other options due to the route.

>>385013713
WW is at least 20/25 hours long for a first run, WR for glitchless is around 4:30 hours

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>>385013857
It hurts to watch but I can't look away.

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I liked this run.
It was true autism shown live. Like a reality show.

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>wife going into labor
>snowed in
>go on computer to check what I should do
>WINDOWS RESTARTING FOR UPDATE
>20 minutes later after several restarts computer comes back on
>baby is already dead

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>>385013857
Dont be racist man, skeltals deserve love too

>>385013876
Both runners choked and were stuck on a glitch.
One was fucked due to RNG, and the other was just bad, he was so bad he was 45 minutes behind.

And I thought SGDQ had bad quality

Not gonna watch this shit.
Any tl;dr?

Dude on the right should have used the "marathon safe" route as well, giving them two times the number of fairy hover attempts. That way we might have gotten to see one of them finish at least.

more like yuropean chokester assembly

Hey I will donate, what do I say ? Keep it funny

>total includes matched donations
>ESA have only raised $20k in donations

KEK

Will Mirror's Edge run be gilitchless? I only watch glitchless runs of honesty.

what the fuck is this "matching"? How can I get someone to match my bank account? this is unfair and feels like money duplication glitch, do want >:|

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>>385014076
Hello newfag. I see you weren't last year here when ESA was absolutely nothing but technical difficulties all around.

>>385014165
wife's son

>>385014165

>watching the stream with my wife's bull

>>385013921
They should have simply done an all dungeons run, it's around 3 hours but at least half of it is not trying the same glitch over and over

>>385014165
t. alberto barbosa

>>385014096
tl;dr: don't do TAS only tricks in a marathon setting. Also: shoutouts to RNG.

>>385013451
He was, iirc he is pretty good in TGM 2, also his streams are fun to watch.

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shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiet, what do? I really wanna watch nu-lara but I kinda wanna play the game myself and not spoil myself on locations/puzzles/enemies etc.

What the fuck is up with all this shitty fucking music? Why don't they just play video game music?

>>385014165
Watching these people cured my depression and stopped me from suicide, thanks ESA! Keep saving the children.

>>385013857
fuck I didnt see it

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looks pretty comfy

>>385014165
>Sending money in to continue overpopulation just to say someone elses words.
Top cuck

>>385014229
and for the message .

>>385014295
watch tetris instead you melt

>>385014187
Sure, send your money to my paypal to [email protected] and I will send back double.

>>385014309
They're Euro. They love this shit.

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>>385014176
Bye

>>385014309

It's comfy waiting music faggot.

>>385014347
t. alberto barbosa

>>385014410
NASA was playing the exact same music (literally same)

>>385014295
since its any% its going to skip most of the optional puzzle tombs and the dlc anyways so you'll mostly just see shooting.

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>>385014437
>welsh speedrunner
Finally something worthwhile to be known for

>hey notch
europoors are literally sloots

>>385014309
It's Monstershit music. They license a lot of songs for very cheap which is why you see it at almost every event.

Oh, god damn nu-Germans.

>>385014501
Then it's shit taste.

>>385014556
>vs mrwalrus
he's not going to fucking win against walrus you cunt

Is anyone watching Tomb Raider? Never seen the game at all so I'm curious.

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>another run ruined by emotionless german robots

STOP RUINING THIS EVENT KRAUTS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Oh is it a race?

>>385014670
I loved it so I'm very hype for this

Why HUE portuguese instead of european portuguese?

>>385014501
wouldn't surprise me if it's some kinda generic playlist that's easy to play without getting licensing issues, so everyone uses it

Sounds like a fucking porno so far.

IS THAT A GIRL(((GIRL)))

>>385014694
Ordnung muss Sein

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>>385014670

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>Laura moaning while cum loving girl narrates

>there is actual platforming in nu tombraider
>you just have to glitch to be able to play it

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>>385014639
Eh I don't follow ME runs so I don't really care, just happy to see us represented for once, especially in such a wholesome event

>>385014775
degenerancy is not allowed in europe lad

>There actually are people watching the first stream right now

>>385014850
its sweden mate
sweden..

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>>385014708
because Moortugal is a non country

>>385014726
I think they're just streaming from Mixer. Monstercat has a 24/7 stream there.

>>385014850
Are you serious

is this game qte after qte?

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These "germans" are too white.

Post Lara tits

FUck you, I loved the Tomb Raider reboot. Have yet to play Rise of the Tomb Raider.

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>Portuguese is the fastest language
I wasn't expecting that.

>>385014996

HUEHUEHUE

NO HABLA ESPANIOL

is that Jake Gyllenhaal's sister?

why is Lara Croft dressed like she's going for a winter walk in new york when she's actually climbing a fucking mountain?

>>385014982
I started playing this game but I couldn't complete it because I was so fixated on Lara's ass in that sweet tight leather pants. I just couldn't go more than the tomb they're in right now (she's later underwater and gets wet and stuff Kreygasm)

>>385014982
it was a good metroid style game. I like the new lara much more than the old titty monster design wise. Those angelina jolie bimbo lips are a huge turn off for me.

>>385014982
RoTT is pretty much the fixed up, better version of 2013. If you like the rebooted ones you should pick it up, it usually goes on sale with all DLCs for pretty cheap

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>>385014838
>I don't follow ME runs
you're missing out la
a year or two before catalyst was announced there was a big surge in popularity and the time dropped like a stone with so many OOB skips
It's great fun

I donated, I hope they read, it's not even offensive.

>>385014726
>>385014309
Actually,I think I remember MonsterCat selling 1-year Twitch licenses on a HumbleBundle. So you can see how desperate they truly are

>>385015034
Behave yourself, lad.

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I'd like to raid Laras tomb if you know what I mean /v/

>>385014982
play it. I loved it, better mechanics and combat than the first although I prefered the first ones story and world more

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>>385014295
>nu-lara
>puzzles

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>>385014890

These games are shit for casual play, no challenge at all just very basic platforming so you can watch the pretty graphics.

BARBOSA

epic meme

>Alberto Barbosa
Alright, which one of you fuckers was it

yay they read it !!!

>.t Alberto Barbosa

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We did it, Reddit!!

finally

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>Alberto barbosa

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>watching with friend's wife
here we go again

>>385014165
>>385014229
MADMAN DID IT

Congratulations anon

Can someone stop reading those shitty fucking donations

>>385015085
>UK
>europe

>>385015102
I...I don't understand if you are being serious or not. IDd you literally not complete a game because you couldn't stop masturbating to the character?
If so you have an actual problem

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>>385015297
Hella epic anon!

>>385015157
welp, that explains it

for NASA I don't blame them given it's all self-financed, but I'd expect at least a bit more from ESA with sponsors and shit

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>cuck posting.

>>385015336
t. alberto barbosa

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:v)

I really enjoy listening to this run

>>385015363
I couldn't progress further because I was always busy taking screenshots and admiring a wet Lara emerging from the water and then wringing out her hair to dry it. Shit got me hot and bothered every time

>>385015421
should have dropped a sopa de macaco for some daring synthesis

>nu-/v/
>defending nu-TR

im the biggest TR fag and I buy these games day1 out of childhood nostalgia but they are objectively terrible being made by slave devs with no love or care

>>385015450
well as I said I think you have an actual sex/masturbation addiction then.
And I say this as someone who dosn't even beleive tha's a real thing.

you are a based anon for taking screenshots of her though. Early Rise of the Tomb Raider threads were goat for all the pics

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>>385015441
>enjoying listening to german English

>>385015421
Thanks doc

>>385015615
It doesn't looks too bad. But I never played them.

And yes I did play the old games. Some of them.

>>385015649
I filter them out in my mind and focus on game audio.

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>EnchantressOfNumbers is on the second stream's chat

Here come the tetris trannies

>>385015615
Looks like you drank a little too much of that /v/ kool-aid.

Why is the sound coming from the slower run?

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>>385015748
why do trannies insist on using these fairytale names?
>magical princess
>enchantress
etc.

>>385015820
to maintain the illusion duh

>>385015815
I think they just stopped caring

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>Game is basically a running simulator just to look at pretty graphics
>Hair clipping though hood and her body
Top kek

>>385015820
what's the problem boy? do you have a meek username or what? fucking pussy

t. BigDickedSuperChad

>>385015739
they only look good

everything else is terrible. the game play is terrible, the design choices are a basically put every thing that's trendy or working in other games together and hope it sells like the shitty survival mechanics and the uncharted combat. They sell these hub areas with hunting and shit but theyre so small you have 9000 animals running circles and hitting zone walls. These games are fucking pathetic and I say that as someone who paid full price for all of them and played through 3 times each

>>385015748
here was wondering if I should checkout tetris hoping it'd be better than sgdq

guess I'll just stick to moans on stream 1

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I must be years behind at this point but THIS is what they fucking turned Tomb Raider into? It's like a paint-by-number of a video game.

>>385015908
it's actually a hot girl death/pain simulator.
She gets prety beat up in both games

>>385015963
>and played through 3 times each
Why if you hate them so much?
Did you enjoey the story or something?

>>385015908
somebody actually looked at that hair and thought
"yep, that'll do" and was fucking paid for it.

>>385016023
hello anime poster. have you played tomb raider 3 recently? you cannot make simple ugly games like that anymore. maybe if you released on mobile but not on triple A hardware

>Your message wasn't posted due to conflicts with the channel's moderation settings.

Apperently I can't call a tranny out in the chat by calling them a tranny. I hope they check their privilege.

>>385016023
Yeah they actually gave it decent gameplay and controls. :)

>>385015908
It's uncharted with moaning

>>385015104
homosexual

>two autistic krauts

>>385016023
These games are for ryona enthusiasts such as myself.

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>Tetris cancelled

JUST

>>385016189
>I can't do a thing that is banned on literally everywhere apart from /v/

Oh no, it's censorship!

>>385016189
call them a "Girl (male)"

>>385016118
Wasn't the hair a massive fucking deal in the first one? I remember a lot of shilling about TressFX or whatever it was called.

>>385016114
as I said, just childhood nostalgia

as a kid, I had tr1 on psx before i had a memory card. I replayed the game everyday from start after coming home from school. These games are soulless cash grabs on the power this franchise has over me, i recognize them for the crap gameplay wise they are but they still satisfy that feeling. Me feeling good playing them doesnt make them good: they just have the right brand name

>>385016237
Why is it so hard to set up Tetris?

The Macgyver crafting system in rise was great fun. I loved making explosives and molotovs in 2 seconds in the middle of combat

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>>385016237
FUUUUUUUUUUCK
>enchantressofnumbers cunting it up in chat
>6:21 Twitch Prime EnchantressOfNumbers: at SGDQ we had all 4 TGM boards up and running in about 10 minutes

shut up hoe, REEEEEEEEEEE

CRAFT SOME ARROWS LARA

DO IT NOW

>GeekyGoonSquad: alright. we can't get it working right now. we will delay the run until a later time this week

NO TETRIS BOYS

>>385016373
yeah except it took over 2 hours to set their shit up

>>385016242
Hello kike

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>>385016237
Fucking why? Stream 2's actually been under estimate

Is Lara wearing some kind of special clothing that allows her not to die 2 seconds after emerging from freezing water in wintery Siberia?

>>385016439
can't set up the arcade shit. I reckon it's because europe's TV is 50Hz instead of 60Hz like americunts

>>385016373
>SGDQ
>having anything set up in less than 30 minutes

>>385016373
>6:21 Twitch Prime EnchantressOfNumbers: at SGDQ we had all 4 TGM boards up and running in about 10 minutes

how do they explain the 1 hour and 20 minutes of down time then? were they busy doing their makeup?

>>385016439
They're getting a signal through the capture and onto the stream but not onto the CRT.

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>>385014996

>a bunch of 10k or lower views videos except for the BBC ones
>even quite a few of the BBC videos seems reasonable enough judging from the quote and title only

>>385014996

Portuguese language is UMA DELICIA

>>385016482
Bro just turn your brain off lol

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>>385016482
she has a THICC healthy bush down there to keep her warm at all times

>>385016482
Yeah it's called "This game is for normies,we don't give a shit about realism" +9 chainmail

>sound on the guy 5min behind

annoying

>>385016482
It's an uncharted clone, and that game ain't realistic for shit

>>385016684
this. I'm actually getting triggered. How hard is it for them to change?

>>385016719
>tfw the original has become a clone of the clone and the actual original formula is pretty much gone by now

>>385016591
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oB-SQ8EaE8

the problem with nu-TR isnt that theyre walking simulator, it's the general lack of vision. Everything is just a copy, stolen, rehash, recycled, derivative. They lack any creativity or passion for the game.

>>385016865
Does she even raid tombs anymore? Nu-lara doesn't even kill dinosaurs what the fuck

Tetris is on.

>>385016865
well the original doesn't sell any more otherwise the market would create that products. it is what it is m8.

I want a Conker sequel but I realise there's not enough demand for it. Also microsodft would find a way to fuck it up anyway

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TETRIS IS ON FUCKERS

>>385017067
OH FUCK I was just about to go into an hour longe edge session, thanks man

>>385017045
>>385017067
reeeee they need to make their mind up

>>385017067
who cares for tranny games

TETRIS
AND NO TRANNIES

THANK YOU ESA

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TURN ON STREAM 2 NOW

>GDQ
Nice going France.

Why is the fucking timer running

What is the appeal of watching Tetris runs? Seems boring to me.

>more tetris when already had enough of it as SGDQ, or this shitty tomb raider race
guess it's time to checkout the games I missed while sleeping

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>it was all an elaborate ruse to get the GDQ tranny out of the stream chat
>he left because he thought the run didn't take place today

>>385017331
fuckin pleb

>>385017331
The first time you see it, it's pretty impressive because Tetris is that thing from your childhood that you were never good at and seeing it being played properly is kinda neat. But then you realize it's still just Tetris.

>>385017503
good argument
>>385017404
kek

is that tetris account system online? seems pretty limited with 3 characters for name

>>385017503
It's shit and has no business being at a speedrunning event

>>385017532
>that you were never good at
Speak for yourself, srub

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>he fucked it up already

>>385017694
Yeah, go watch some fucking tomb raider, faggot.

>>385017723
>he was good at Tetris as a kid
I'm sure you were real popular. You wouldn't happen to go to these events, would you?

>>385017834
>implying jerking off to blocks doesn't make you a faggot

>tetris with no tranny bullshit
Pretty nice

>>385016537
that was for the other run with the dude after the trannies had left, he needed some weirder tetris setup

I've seen tetris run like 5-6 times now so the hype is gone

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>>385017914
>>385017978
Get the fuck out of here normie scum.

>>385017914
nah I was good at it in high school. Was pretty fun showing off to my friends.
And no I wouldn't play tetris at a fucking speedrunning event

>>385018035
if only they'd do like at AGDQ and run card captor sakura tetris instead

where are all the trannies?

i still get hype once it gets really fast

what the fuck is with all that tetris lore and rules?

>>385018148
10/10 run, excluding the usual trannies

https://www.twitch
.tv/videos/113536780?t=15h04m54s

CHOKE

>HE FUCKING FAILED VANILLA TETRIS

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>this is fine

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>>385018148

the tranny fucker kevinddr must be laughing at this

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>That save

>no trannies at the event
>lot less donations

REALLY makes you think

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>>385017067
Fuck,I went away since they said they're not going to do it.

>>385018883
I'm sure that's a first for you.

>>385018883
But is the viewer count to donation ratio really different?

>>385018883
>no trannies to make the runner uncomfortable
>lot worse at the game

l e v e l 1 0 0 0 b o y s

damn hes pretty good
way better than the trannies at sgdq

What a shitter, bully this nerd

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S12 is pretty fucking solid for a marathon run, hope we'll see the M-Roll today

>PROMOTIONAL EXAM
Fucking gold.

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>exam at marathon

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>Final boss is a helicopter

>promo exam straight away
nice RNG

Let the choke begin.

He needs to stop talking before he fucks it again

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Qlex isn't as good at stacking cleanly at speed as KevinDDR, but he's excellent at bailing himself out of trouble.

This tetris game is still updated?

HE DID IT

PROMOTION

THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN

>>385019646
I think TGM4 was planned but unfortunately scrapped.

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OH SHIT
WHERE WERE YOU /v/?

>>385019668
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW6M8D41ZWU

that was sweet

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he did it!!!!

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>>385019798
>WHERE WERE YOU /v/?
watching Tomb Raider

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Pretty based, it was way more enjoyable to watch than the fagfest at gdq

>>385019891
Dude, it was simply epin.

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>not gold gm

>>385019891
this leemyy guy cant aim for shit

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>you will never promote

>>385018914
see
>>385017404
looks like you got troled tranny

>>385020060
If that was the reason I'm not even mad. Plus I got to see the promo

Can this ESA's Jedi Knight 2 speedrun top SGDQ's?

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>>385020025
fucking cat get off my pizza

>>385020328
>no trannies
>fun allowed
hm

>>385020015
he was terrible. Too bad we had to listen to his audio

>>385020328
No idea. CovettMuffin is a genuinely entertaining guy that actually loves what he's doing. His Jedi Academy run from a year earlier was even better.

little brown children are future terrorists
dont save them

>>385020328
I don't think anyone there is as fast as that guy

>HRRRGH THE DRUGS

>>385020458
>t. didn't watch it

>>385020328
Probably not, but it's still a great game

>LA Noire
not many places to speed run in this game

doubt%

>>385020775
A 'no auto-driving' category would be pretty amusing, I imagine.

REEE WE DESERVE FREE SHIT FROM EUROPE

WHERES MY WHITE WOMAN

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>>385020775
it's just the Traffic desk. Expect partner driving and a little bit of routing to finish the cases faster (since each one sort of branches a little).

Fuck you donator

Catalyst looks NOTHING like ME1

>>385020603
he was good at solo commentary too

Gee Billy, how come your event gets TWO streams?

But seriously how am I supposed to keep up with both of these

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he'll yeah

oh cool its a race

what the fuck are these flags

>Choked already

lel, it's over already

Antarctica?

>>385021423
Side by side schedule's in OP, just pick and choose which games to watch

fucking misses the FIRST JUMP IN THE DAMN GAME!

>>385021474
Wales and antarctica are you stupid or something?

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>chokes on first jump
what a race

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>glitching

The other guy choked too

This game was so good

Fucking catalyst, fuck you Dice

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>>385021679

>>385021679
Why would you just squeeze a man's nuts like that?

>>385021679
He caught up now, are these guys even using the same route/strats? doesn't seem like it but I can't really tell

>>385021575
>literal who countries

meh

Sheepshagger's showing him up

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>>385021679
puffy

>>385021679

Put an egg in it

>>385021995
unexist
sequel

>not trying a skip because if someone misses it they'll lose the race

wat

>>385021995
>I want to fix Faith's stinky sequel!!

>>385021910
>Antarctica
>Country

>Welsh
>Country

>>385022136
Wales IS a country you philistine

This is a good race

>>385022231
source?

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>>385022231

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>>385022231

>>385022112
I guess if it is a hard skip and it cuts like a min+ of time then there is no point in the race any more if only one gets it. Would make for pretty a boring watch while currently it is possible to catch up if the other chokes once or twice.

>>385022302
Sure is.
Cool flag,tho

>>385022231
>>385022524
can we nuke Japan again

>>385022524
dude you fucking anime/hentai retards are disgusting. wtf lol

>>385022524
is this what they call kino

>>385022136
gotem