>they made Shelob a human female Who the fuck thought thi

>Lotr lore
>Good

>Random dude is basically god and immune to the effects of the ring

>>384913397
What's bad about lotr lore?

>>384913293
Shadow of Mordor/War's lore is massively retarded fan fiction, it's not worth taking seriously. They're only worth playing for the nemesis system.

you should have seen this coming from the trailer were goblins and orcs where talking and joking in a british accent
they obviously don't give a shit about the source material anymore and went for a lore raping original story donut steel

>>384913562

This.

The devs basically just admitted that they aren't adhering to Tolkien's lore at all with their inclusion of a black man in a Gondor city.

I played through the first game and I still don't know what mordor is

>>384913714

It's a place

Generally not very fun to be in

Orcs are there

>>384913627
>gondorians can't be black
And why is that? Hmmmm? Is this what you believe because you're afraid of African Americans?

>>384913861
>And why is that? Hmmmm?

Read the books, sweetie.

>>384913861
>gonodorians
>African American
You're retarded

>>384913562
The nemesis system was a great idea, but it really wasn't executed well.

I found it extremely rare that I would ever run into a nemesis, since I would have to willingly let them escape. The vast majority of enemies I encountered died on their first interaction with me.

Part of that is a symptom of how overpowered you get very quickly, though. Especially once you're at the point where you only need to hit like two enemies to charge an execution move. At that point, it's no longer even relevant what enemy type you're facing or what immunities they have. Just spam executions until their head flies off.

I'm hoping the sequel improves upon this to make the nemesis system more relevant, and to make chiefs actually a challenge to fight at all stages of the game.

As far as lore complaints go, don't even pay attention to it. The game rapes the lore so bad that you'll just get angry if you take it seriously. Even as a standalone plot, it's awful. It's a fun game to play as a mindless orc slaughter simulator, and it's satisfying to build an army of mind controlled orcs.

>>384913562
It's basically just the utmost surface material reinterpreted into a different universe. The main elf dude never existed in that capacity and they prettymuch threw all decorum out the window for the sake of mechanics (which ends up being mostly worthwhile although I wish they'd crafted a bigger more varied setting in that case).

>>384913293
It's not confirmed to be shelob from this trailer. It could be Ungoliant, or literally any other magical spider they could shit out an idea for. That being said, the actual lotr lore in these games are bad and a borderline insult to autisitic people such as myself, however, as long as you try and pretend its not a lotr game or embrace its 100% non-canon, its an alright game and I am unironically looking forward to playing the new one.

so not only is she a human but shes not some goddess that can reveal the future?
the fuck she was just a big ass spider

>>384913985
>implying I need to read the works of some racist old hack
>>>/pol/ if you don't want to make any actual arguments

>>384914143
I just died to them on purpose by playing the game like dynasty warriors.

>>384914207

No but she has a riiiiiiing now it's called lord of the riiiiiiiings and she has a riiiiiiing

>>384914143
Some of your nemeses can actually come back even if you kill them. I had an orc I decapitated show up again, with his head crudely stapled back on and him being angry at me for doing that to him.

>>384913856
Ok so what is middle earth

>>384914272

Not an argument.

>>384913584
>goblins and orcs where talking and joking in a british accent
Bait?

>>384914143
Yeah, I hear you on the how overpowered you get quickly front.
After the first few missions when all the challenge was already gone I ended up starting a new savegame and just refusing to actually buy any of the health or execution related upgrades. Found the game much, much more enjoyable and nemesis managed to get away much more frequently like that.

>>384914384

It's a big place, mordor is part of it

>>384914161
>not confirmed to be Shelob
>called Shelob reveal trailer
Can you read?

File: on_color_large.png (25KB, 310x310px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 310x310px

>>384913627
>>384913856
>>384913985
>>384914143
Nice paragraphs. +1

>>384914470

>Olog-hai dude literally says "Bloke" every other sentence

Yeah okay, bait, sure

>>384914161
fucking retard

File: 1461378241270.gif (1MB, 300x159px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 300x159px

>>384914161
Okay, first off you nigger, its an official trailer and is fucking titled "Shelob Reveal Trailer".

Second, Ungoliant is fucking dead.

>>384914161
The trailer calls her Shelob, but that's not what I want to talk about
>It could be Ungoliant
How the FUCK would that make anything better? What's next, you fucking meet Morgoth?

>>384914594

Hah, joke's on you, only three of those were me!

>>384914594
>Reeeeeeeeeee stop making text easier to parse

>>384914612
That's fair enough, but Orcs were joking and talking "in an English accent" in the books.

>>384914161
>It's not confirmed to be shelob from this trailer.
>"Shelob Reveal Trailer"

What did he mean by this?

>>384913293
Who cares, fuck that stupid game

Since when did anyone including the immortal wizards of the LOTR universe have instant teleportation powers? Or shoot laser arrows, or beat a thousand orcs while doing unlimited ice blasts. Your character is the most Gary Sue character of all time, next to that generic bald headed faggot from Star Wars The Force Unleashed.

File: 1235448900150.gif (9KB, 470x470px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 470x470px

>>384913293
Would you have expected anything else from Fuck Tolkien: The Game?

Oh of course you would because /v/ is full of people who have never experienced Tolkien outside of shitty wiki articles, video games, and Peter Jackson. None of you can begin to comprehend what all is wrong and I hate you for it.

>>384914517
Why is white hair elf guy so mean

>>384914897

I can, anon. Stop projecting.

>>384914897
>what all is wrong
But keep shitposting

>>384914957

He had a meaner dude he worked for before that guy got killed

Now he wants to be the biggest and baddest but men and elves won't let him

>>384913293
Why is Talon's new design so shit

>>384915052
How are orc babies made if there are no girls

>>384914804

Sure, but they weren't disneyfied cockney comedy orcs. Tolkien wrote all kinds of different levels of intellect in his books, from Gollum to Gandalf. Orcs were closer to Gollumn on that spectrum.

>>384913293
>Caring for canon lore
L o L

o

L

File: 1491116958164.gif (1MB, 508x583px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 508x583px

>>384914804
No they weren't. They talked, sure, but they weren't making quips in a cockney accent.
>"I have my orders. And it's more than my belly's worth, or yours, to break 'em. Any trespasser found by the guard is to be held at the tower. Prisoner is to be stripped. Full description of every article, garment, weapon, letter, ring, or trinket is to be sent to Lugbúrz at once, and to Lugbúrz only. And the prisoner is to be kept safe and intact, under pain of death for every member of the guard, until He sends or comes Himself. That's plain enough, and that's what I'm going to do."

File: george-rr-martin.jpg (31KB, 620x413px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 620x413px

>>384913293
Well yes but, what was her tax plan?

>>384915216

The answer is nobody knows

Presumably orcs breed somehow

On a deeper level Tolkien's very religious soul was conflicted with the orcs being creatures of ultimate evil and could not be redeemed because he believed that everyone could be redeemed so he didn't touch on the orcs much in his works

>>384915243
>>384915305
Yeah like I said, complaining about him saying "bloke" and wise-cracking and shit is fine
I just wanted to point out that Tokien went to great lengths to give them a working-class accent in the books. They don't seem like MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU RAAAAAARGH monsters but rather like blue collar workers who are also constantly scheming

>>384915342

Spiders

>>384913513
We dont know aragons tax policy

>>384915654

7% sales tax

He opened trade to the shire for pipeweed at a 25% import fee

>>384915342
>>384915654

What was Robert's tax policy? What was Aerys' tax policy? Oh wait, the fat fuck didn't write about that either, instead he talked about an underage girl having diarrhea, another riding a fat pink mast, another one's cunt becoming the world, and all that food in between as well.

>>384915342
>>384915654
What did he mean by this? GRRM never talks about taxes in ASoIAF, he just talks about fucking food.

>>384915342
dont get this meme

>>384916226
>another riding a fat pink mast, another one's cunt becoming the world, and all that food in between as well.

???????????

>>384915386
I like to think the answer is something like 40k. Orcs beget more orcs when they die. Violent culture = good breeding rates.

Granted this is partially thanks to the Uruk-hai birth sequence from the movies. At the time I figured regular orcs must grow in the ground too. Seeded somehow or by magic.

>>384914160
What? If you Google Celebrimbor he shows up in the Tolkien wiki or something similar. I checked and it looks like the dude is legit in the L O R E

>>384916305
>Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?
Martin thinks his writing is better because ts "gritty" and 'realistic"

>>384913293
Are these games any good? I hear it's Batman combat in all open world LOTR style. Sounds fun but I think I might be annoyed if they shit all over the lore

>>384916446

>And suddenly his cock was out, jutting upward from his breeches like a fat pink mast.

>She was sopping wet when he entered her. “Damn you,” she said. “Damn you damn you damn you.” He sucked her nipples till she cried out half in pain and half in pleasure. Her cunt became the world. Only his hands mattered, only his mouth, only his arms around her, his cock inside her. He fucked her till she screamed, and then again until she wept, before he finally spent his seed inside her womb.

>>384916347
Would you like a quick rundown?

My dick thinks it's a great idea

>>384916564

Yes, he existed. What he was not:

>A wraith
>A super badass powerful warrior with a bow who could kill, like, a billion orcs you guys, dude, dude, he could kill so many orcs wow
>Someone who could mind control people
>Someone who stole Sauron's ring and used it to raise an army against him and had a QTE fight with him

>>384916715
sure

>>384916627
Tolkien was king of going off on a detail spree but even he knew that all of those things where unnecessary to the narrative.

>>384916679
The first game was a fun One Session game
That is, you play it once, maybe for three hours, maybe for six hours
Then you never play it again
The critical flaw of the game is that your character's power level grows almost exponentially, while your opponents improve linearly
So by the time you're about two hours into the game, you've already become Too Powerful To Care

>>384916627

>Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?

Yes.

Unlike GRRM, Tolkien dealt with his evil shits accordingly. Whereas GRRM used author fiat all the fucking time, especially in the case of letting Dorne miraculously surviving being wholly burnt to ash by three fucking dragons, the Ironborn never exterminated and the Boltons spared execution when they rebelled against the Starks, when they'd already exterminated their own cadet branch for rebelling.

>>384916679
The story, open world and characters are all absolute shit. The only thing that made it good was that the price dropped absurdly fast a month after it came out, the combat was an okay copy of Batman and the Nemesis system was pretty fun

Don't buy them at full price

>>384916770
>Someone who stole Sauron's ring and used it to raise an army against him and had a QTE fight with him
To be fair, his DLC had an actual boss fight with Sauron even if it was a clusterfuck with continually spawning Uruks everywhere.

>>384916712
I must have serious memory issues. I can't dredge up a fucking thing about books I've read or shows I've watched. How the hell did this slip my mind?

>>384916627
Don't orcs spawn from mudpits or something?

>>384915342
I never read any of his books but I hate it when I read reviews for other Sword and Magic fantasy and everyone has to compare it to GoT even though the books seem like complete garbage.

Whats the real deal about them?

>>384917064

It's not like it's the only shitawful thing he wrote.

>"Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm, Your Grace. Whilst you snored, I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all pale sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs."


That's Cersei talking about Robert.

And of course, his masterpiece:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmKhGqWcJGY

>>384916907
Tolkien himself wrote that Orcs are not purely evil or beyond redemption but that none had yet showed the signs of breaking away form Morgoth's corruption.

As if the phantom turning out to be Celebrimbor wasn't bad enough. And him turning out to be evil and dominating orcs.

Shit's a fucking fuckfest. Jesus christ. None of the damn writers for this shit could've possibly read the source material.

>>384916954

That's what I was talking about.

He said:
>If you Google Celebrimbor he shows up in the Tolkien wiki or something similar. I checked and it looks like the dude is legit in the L O R E

Yeah, the game makers didn't make up Kellogsblueberry. They made up literally everything they use him for in the game (and the DLC) is what I was getting at.

Considering all the post that person originally replied to says is:
> The main elf dude never existed in that capacity

But he misread it as "They made him up"

>>384916770
Honestly I don't care that much about LOTR but you know the made up magic abilities are just there to not make you bored for the 30 hours of missions and campaign

>>384917267

>Just turn your brain off bro

Aw sick argument brosef

>>384917095
Tolkien never gave a specific way orcs were created. he did this intentional, to help add mystery and fear about them within the reader.

>>384917395

And because he was Christian

>>384916907
Dorne was burnt? I thought they played guerilla war so well that they were left alone and eventually joined of their own free will. Why would the Ironborn be exterminated? The rebellion? Those happen now and then, it doesn't result in the genocide of all those who partook.

File: aaaaaeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.jpg (334KB, 1600x1236px) Image search: [Google]

334KB, 1600x1236px

>>384914705
>What's next, you fucking meet Morgoth?
Funny you mention that. One of my pet theories is that Shelob in this game's spin on the canon may actually be the result of Ungoliant fucking Melkor thing. I mean, the Silmarillion says she tried to eat him. And some spiders will consume their mates. So Shelob may be the daughter of Morgoth.

LOTR's themes
- Industrial societies are at odds with agricultural societies
- Subsistence life cannot exist in the shadow of Industrial society
- Industrial society will dominate and subjugate all other societies
ASoIaF's themes
- Incest is best

>>384917531

>Dorne was burnt?

The Targaryens literally burned everything but Sunspear. Every fucking field growing anything at all was ashes. But they still somehow survived? Off what?

>Why would the Ironborn be exterminated?

Literally never contributed anything, rebelled all the fucking time, attacked everyone.

Why the fuck would anyone leave them alive after beating them just once?

>>384916931
I wouldn't, but thanks. I'll probably check it out after the backlog.

>>384917238
I remember the pooping but, again, drawing a blank when it comes to eating kingly sperm.

Although I guess this means I can read and enjoy it all again like it was the first time?

>>384917585

Shut the fuck up with your headcanon garbage.

P-please stop, that's my fetish

File: 12602-1839490280.jpg (320KB, 850x1223px) Image search: [Google]

320KB, 850x1223px

>>384917721

>>384917667
Fish? I don't know, and I see what you're saying. Especially since they burned down that giant fortress in the riverlands that used to belong to the Ironborn when they were called something else.

Now that one's a weaker point. Why? Cause they chose to. Same reason they didn't murder literally everyone they fought. Wanting their expertise at naval warfare for later, subjugating rather than exterminating, etc. The same question can apply to everyone that has ever beaten another faction. Why weren't the riverlands completely purged of all life? They're in a central location and didn't support the throne. etc

>>384918085

stop

STOP

I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH

>>384914705
>you fucking meet Morgoth
I've never read The Silmarillion, what's wrong with this?

>>384917585
Ungoliant was pissed because Morgoth wouldn't give up the silmarillion to it. They didn't fuck.

You're as bad as these fucking devs.

File: 1500034431650.gif (2MB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x281px

>>384916627
>>384916907
I'm pretty sure I explicitly remember Aragorn letting the orcs live in Mordor at the end of Return of the King.

>>384918342

He's supposed to be super-duper-never-come-back dead.

>>384918342
The angel/gods of the world locked him out of existence for fucking up Middle Earth and being a dick. You can't meet him.

>>384918342

The fucker isn't even anywhere near Middle Earth.

Thrown out the Door of the Night into the infinite void/blackness of nothingness, until the final battle that ends and remakes all of existence.

File: Tolkienbot.jpg (250KB, 469x465px) Image search: [Google]

250KB, 469x465px

Why are lorefags so autistic?

>>384914705
>you fucking meet Morgoth
Inb4 Finngolfin vs Morgoth dlc

>>384918342
Morgoth aka Satan former boss of Sauron according to canon he is imprisoned in cosmic void outside of arda

File: 1482481374481.gif (2MB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 320x240px

>>384916627
At least Tolkien could finish a story.

>>384918535
>super-duper-never-come-back dead
He's not dead he's locked out of existence until the end of the world battle.

>>384918761

So he's super-duper-never-come-back dead until the end of everything, got it

He's super-duper-never-come-back dead

File: 68639ad0489323c6f9e82bbc96cf4226.jpg (371KB, 1464x939px) Image search: [Google]

371KB, 1464x939px

>>384918609

Said Door of Night.

>>384918572
>>384918609
>>384918689
Why dont they do this to sauron

>>384918858
Locked out of existence =/= dead
also
>never coming back dead
>is suppose to come back eventually

>>384918953
>implying the Valar care about Middle-Earth

>>384918996

Sorry honey, he's super-duper-never-come-back dead

What's funny is we both agree that he shouldn't appear in any third age LOTR media but you're a little faggot who gets hung up on details

>>384918953
Sauron isn't enough of a dick for the angel/gods (Valar) to care about what he does in Middle Earth.

>>384918953

Last time the Valar treaded the ground of ME, they fucked up the place, because their presence/power is too much for the land to sustain it without being broken in the process. ME got reshaped the last time they went out in force.

>>384919105
You're the little faggot harping on about this fucking term as if it's the cleverest goddamn thing you have ever thought of

>>384918953
>>384919114
Also Gandalf is their servant. He's there sort of on their behalf to stop anything going super fucked.

Which is why he came back as Gandalf the White instead of just dropping dead. They sent that bitchboy back to do his damn job.

>>384919079
Oh, Morgoth's shit fucked with their turf but they don't care about Middle Earth?

>>384919114
Mkes you wonder why they created it.

>>384919183
Alright now we got new theories

>>384919304

You might want to have a doctor check out that butthurt there sweetie pie

>>384919105
>he's super-duper-never-come-back dead
Accept he isn't
He is suppose to return during Dagor Dagorath and after that even happens then it will be the death of Morgoth, until then he is still alive living in the void of nothingness

>>384919325
They only helped against Morgoth after a dude with a Silmaril came to their shores against literally impossible odds
Actually, does anyone remember if the Silmaril implies Earendil was blessed by Eru or was he just THAT good of a fucking sailor?

>>384919437

>Except

So until the end of all time he's super-duper-never-come-back dead, got it

We've been over this already

>>384919325
The Valar didn't create Middle Earth. The actually *God* god of the setting did, Eru Ilúvatar. Who is basically Christian God. The Valar were his angels sort of kind of.

>>384919557
You seem to have missed the part where he's still alive

>>384919520
I tried reading the Smilarion what however it's spelled but it was actually kind of painful.

>>384918342
Because he's imprisoned/exiled outside of existence.

This is why I fucking hate this series. All the cool shit that Tolkein's setting affords them, and they choose to go full retard and do shit like make Celebrimbor an edgelord, Shelob a semen demon, and Sauron a QTE. They could make a game set in the 4th age where the villain is trying to locate the Doors of Night so he can free Melkor, they could make a game set in Numenor, or Beleriand or Umbar or somewhere actually interesting.

ITT: Black Númenóreans trying to shill for their Cakeboy Bananalord

>>384919639
>The Valar didn't create Middle Earth
I mean, that's kinda debatable
Sure, Eru made the entire Earth, but their songs helped shape it. So they did kinda make it

>>384919675

Right, he's alive, but in a way that makes him super-duper-never-come-back dead

Keep going, though, you're adorable

>>384919639
I thought the Valar were singing to help making it.

The sword play in these games is amazing.

>>384919841

>pressing the same button over and over and over

But it looks pretty, right?

File: 1491181118530.jpg (66KB, 576x478px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 576x478px

>>384918953
Sauron is a fucking jabroni that literally got his ass beat by a dog.

>>384919759
I find it so retarded that they had to bend Tolkien lore to do this shit, they could've just made a copypaste fantasy setting and could have all the joking orcs and spider whores they wanted and it would've been great.
But then, they probably sold a lot just because of the lotr name. It's infuriating.

>>384919792
Also, the Valar are few of the Ainur whose actual job it is to shape the Earth so
>>384919705
It's not that bad, it's pretty interesting. You should try again, and if you come upon those long lists of names, just remember: If Tolkien lists all the 20 sons and grandsons of Feanor, you don't immediately need to remember their names and familial relations, because they will come up again and you'll actually be able to connect them to events

File: 1471200177601.png (38KB, 499x338px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 499x338px

>>384919841

>>384914594
>a-am i fitting in guys???

>>384918342
He was exiled from Arda.

Arda being the name given to the world / material universe.

Fucker is as dead as a person can possibly be in this setting.

>>384918953
he's a shitter in the grand scheme of things, enslaving men isn't that big of a deal so they just sent five wizards after him and called it a day

>>384919824
>>384919792
Yeah, but what they were singing was preordained by Eru. He was the source of everything and all that shit, being God and all.

Besides which, it wasn't that they were specifically trying to make a world. They were pretty surprised when it turned out the shit they were singing about turned real. And they didn't know about what came after.

Been a while since I read it though so I may be mistaken.

I just realized something: Earendil's sons were Elros and Elrond. Elrond chose to be an Elf and his daughter is Arwen
Elros chose to be a Human and through him the long line of kings of Numenor and eventually Middle Earth started
So basically this big union of Humans and Elves that starts the Third Age and brings prosperity to all the lands again is just Aragon fucking his grand-grand etc aunt?

>>384919794
>he's alive
>but in a way...

Kek you're trying so hard. Just admit you glanced ove a wiki and don't know shit

>>384919936
??????????

>>384920405

Sorry honey he's super-duper-never-come-back dead

If he isn't, why doesn't he pop up and fuck things up?

Oh, right, he's super-duper-never-come-back dead

ALL

THIS

REDDIT

SPACING

>>384920457
If you haven't rea the Silmarillion, you could at least fucking google it before making stupid posts like this
http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Huan

>>384920457
>Huan, also known as the Hound of Valinor, was a great hound, approximately the same size as a small horse, given to Celegorm, one of the Sons of Fëanor, by the Vala Oromë the Hunter. When the Noldor under Fëanor rebelled, Huan went to Middle-earth with his master. For this reason, he fell under the Doom of Mandos.

>When Beren had gone with Finrod Felagund to Angband but had been captured in Tol-in-Gaurhoth, Lúthien set out to rescue him. She was intercepted by Celegorm and Curufin; whereas Huan captured her, and she was brought before Celegorm. Celegorm and Curufin took her as a prisoner to Nargothrond, secretly plotting to wed her to Celegorm and thereby force an alliance with Lúthien's father Thingol. Huan felt pity for Lúthien, and therefore told her of a way to escape, and accompanied her to Tol-in-Gaurhoth to rescue Beren, where he killed all of Sauron's werewolves, as well as Sauron himself in wolf form. Thereafter Huan returned to Celegorm, who had been exiled from Nargothrond by Orodreth.

>>384920326
There's more incest in The Silmarillion than that. As I recall Túrin fucked his sister.

And wasn't there that dark elf that had some incest shit going down too?

>>384920590
Or you could be less of an internet badass and either not answer/>>384920732

File: 1481518099726.jpg (31KB, 640x458px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 640x458px

>>384920543
autism

>>384920734
Turin fucking his sister was about the goddamn most tragic thing that happened in the entire story collection, it's certainly not intended to be emulated
>>384920846
Except he answered with the link where that other answer came from. How fucking stupid are you?
Also, "???????" is not a question

>>384920894

Not an argument, sweetie.

>>384920949
>go and do research

Is not an answer. Question marks are generally meant to state that one is not sure what the other is saying/referencing to.

This has been an excellent academic discussion.

>>384919759
They couldn't have made a game set in a place that's barely mentioned in a couple of lines. Mordor and orcs work because it's unknown territory, but not that unknown.

>>384921213
Fuck off, reddit

>>384920151
No they can actually be dead.

>>384919312
>Which is why he came back as Gandalf the White instead of just dropping dead. They sent that bitchboy back to do his damn job.

They didn't send Gandalf back.

When Gandalf died he bypassed all the Valar, his usual boss, and met the main man Himself. For a brief period in time he talked with the OG before getting sent back as Gandalf the White.

>>384920151
>Fucker is as dead as a person can possibly be in this setting
Have you ever heard of the Doom of Man?

>>384919520
>does anyone remember if the Silmaril implies Earendil was blessed by Eru or was he just THAT good of a fucking sailor

IIRC he was blessed by Eru in 'one' of his escapades, I think it was when he was fighting Ancalagon or something, Eru just turned God mode on him because he was that much of a badass for fighting that thing.

It's like you don't know anything about the first game.

>>384922025
What does Shelob being human have to do with the first game?

>>384913293
she's hot, i'd fuck her(both forms)

>>384917267
You people deserve death
Your ilk is all that is wrong with the west.

WAIT

WAIT

WAIT

Are they setting him up as the Witch King?

File: 1500709294701.jpg (103KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 1920x1080px

>>384922158

Where the fuck did you get that from? The Nine already exist.

File: 1498693970091.jpg (128KB, 938x1168px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 938x1168px

>>384920078
shut up or you will get a hard dicking

>>384921302
>Beleriand
>Numenor
>barely mentioned in a couple of lines
lmao okay you fucking secondary

But there's a wealth of information about fucking Nurn.

>>384921378
lol rekt

Why is shelob so hot? This is wrong

>>384922650
When I read the Silmarillion I was actually surprised at how short the chapter on Numenor was

File: 1499078196907.jpg (68KB, 796x541px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 796x541px

>>384921378
>have no argument
>YO-YOU'RE REDDIT!!!

File: Absolutly Disgusting.png (204KB, 345x368px) Image search: [Google]

204KB, 345x368px

This is going to be one of those games I won't be able to seriously talk about without someone screaming "MUH LORE" and "BLACK GONDORIANS", isn't it?

>>384922372
Her warnings about the vision then vision of the Witch King. Seems like they're setting him up to fall and become that.

>The Nine already exist
I'm sorry, have you not noticed literally anything about the writing in this game or the first? They give 0 fucks.

>>384923578
He think googling "Sauron vs dog" and checking out the wikia article on Huan that comes up is "doing research", hell yeah he's reddit

>>384920326

Arwen confirmed for an ara~ara~ after young boya

>>384923684
Talk about what seriously? The retarded bad writing or the one button combat you can sleep through?

>>384922078
From collecting artifacts, you find that at one point, Spiders and Orcs were kinda BFFs and Shelob and Sauron were total bros.

Then one day Sauron was like "eh, ya know what, we AIN'T bros anymore" and they've fought each other for a while ever since. There's also hints of some orcs joining her.

She obviously takes a Human form to fool with Talion's heart since he still misses having a wife, while Celebrimbor is going to be like "Dude, Wraiths before Baits".

>>384923863
The part where I ask if you actually have played the game outside of seeing that one destiny video over and over again.

>>384922078
It has to do with the fact they literally throw out everything to do with the lore at all times and just do retarded shit instead you fucking idiot.

>>384924000
I bet the game, fuckwad, you ignoring all the writing and pretending the combat has any depth doesn't magically make it better.

>>384913293
Honestly, I'm not considering Shadow Of War to be a LotR game. There's practically nothing there except the names.

I still think it'll be enjoyable, but it's not LotR. It's actually kind of weird how easy it is for me to completely disassociate it with anything even vaguely related to Tolkien's work.

File: Chill Gato.jpg (386KB, 1536x1536px) Image search: [Google]

386KB, 1536x1536px

>MFW there's going to AT LEAST be three threads on release day for Shadow of War shitting on people for wanting to play it screaming "MUH LORE RAPE" and "STUPID EASY COMBAT"
>also MFW when I don't give a god damn fuck what those morons think.

>>384913861
haradrim are black

between 4000 B.C. and 1965 virtually all nations were composed of just one race so you can see where he got that from

>>384924000
>>384924169
beat* Also what the fuck does Destiny have to do with anything? I never said this game was a Halo clone or whatever.

>>384924263

Yeah, you go brother! You don't care about them so much, you made an entire post about it to let others know how much you don't care! Wow!

>>384924169
The writing wasn't awful, it was medicore. Nothing ground breaking, but decent enough for what it was.

Combat isn't deep at all if you're fighting the Orc Grunts and a few weak captains yes. But fighting a few powerful captains is a bit harder, especially if you throw a Warchief into the mix.

EVEN then, despite all that, The whole nature of the Nemesis system and the whole idea that you can fuck around with Uruk culture for your own purposes is generally fun, as well as stealth brutalizing Uruks while running around Mordor.

>>384913627
>implying people from Harad or Rhun are too far from Laketown to ever immigrate there
>implying there isn't a damn good reason for Easterlings and Southrons who aren't willing to suck The One Dick To Fuck Them All to move away from their homeland
>implying the tale of the Blue Wizards hasn't already confirmed that there were rebels and dissenters in Harad who may very well have found assistance from Gondorians near their borders

>>384924440
>Combat isn't deep at all if you're fighting the Orc Grunts and a few weak captains yes. But fighting a few powerful captains is a bit harder, especially if you throw a Warchief into the mix.

Literally just pressing the same button over and over and over

>>384924176
It's not trying to relate to the original Tolkein writing, it's leaning more towards the Peter Jackson movies.

Not shitting on you personally, but I have to say it, anyone whose going to let "It's not like the books" come between them and a game, are pretty stupid.

>>384924440
>The writing wasn't awful
Stopped here. The ending is easily one of the best examples of retards writing something beyond terrible and demonstrating pride in it.

>>384924440
>stealth

The same stealth with 10 degree view cones that extend for like 15 meters at most?

>>384924484

And literally none of them were main characters you cuck.

>>384924540
You really oughta just be posting the video then since it seems you're dancing around it.

YES you could exploit the combat system and record of video of it to validate your point, but it doesn't change the fact that some of us had fun with the game, and that's not going to change ever.

What do you think you're going to make people like me just declare Shadow of Mordor a bad game forever? Just drop it and my idea of grabbing Shadow of War over things I don't personally care about?

>>384924570
>It's not trying to relate to the original Tolkein writing
Yes, that's why they made a big deal of announcing Celebrimbor.

Honestly it feels like the game is made by people who were told to make an LotR game, they then watched all the trailers for the LotR movies and opened the wikipedia page on The Silmarillion.

>>384924735

>But it's FUN

Not an argument.

>>384924735
>but it doesn't change the fact that some of us had fun with the game, and that's not going to change ever.


DUDE I HAD FUN EATING THIS SHIT, BACK THE FUCK OFF?????

>>384924735
Have you played any of the Bam Ham games? It's the exact same combat and it is so fucking boring
The only time I died was when I didn't notice those fucking spear throwers throwing shit from off-screen

>>384914705
What about the two Blue Wizards?

>>384924618
I said it was Mediocre, not good, not great. Mediocre. Passable, decent, good enough.

Yes the final boss was shit, but honestly you calling it "The best example of retards writing something beyond terrible and demonstrating pride in it" for the ending to Shadow of Mordor, when WORSE examples of endings (Far Cry 3, Bioshock Infinite) are more amp examples.

You basically minced my words to make me look stupid and you more just in your argument.

>>384924697
So what's the issue with making a Haradrim rebel a main character in a game all about forming a guerilla army to fight Sauron? Is it because you think no dark-skinned people have ever existed in European countries bordering countries with dark-skinned people?

>>384924618
>The ending
Specifically what part?

File: 1492840855794.jpg (16KB, 432x288px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 432x288px

>>384924263
>MMMM DELICIOUS LOOK AT ALL THIS DEFECATED POOPOO I'M STUFFING MYSELF WITH MMMMMMM
>MMMMM DELECTABLE THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME
>ARE YOU MAD? MMMM QUITE GOOD QUITE GOOD
>MMMM I'M JUST GOING TO RUB THIS SHIT ALL OVER MY CORPULENT DISGUSTING BODY MMMMMM I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK

>>384924989
Probably the part where the Dark Hand of Sauron takes on the appearance of Sauron himself after possessing Celebrimbor.

>>384924915
>Is it because you think no dark-skinned people have ever existed in European countries bordering countries with dark-skinned people?

I like how you think that has anything to do with the argument; it speaks a lot of your pathetic tactics. You focus so much on race that you're blind to your own idiocy; it's a common thing with leftists.

>>384924915
Not who you're replying to, but today' /v/ can go apeshit if a single black character is shown ever. And of course the "MUH LORE" fags will just add more kindling to the fire because why should people be allowed to talk about the game, when shitposting about it is more popular.

>>384924893
That would actually be interesting, and a creative use of the license. So they won't do it.

>>384924897
I didn't say you said it was good, it certainly wasn't passable though

>final boss
Who said were were talking about that garbage?

Camera spin zoom in dramatic IT'S TIME FOR A NEW RING cut to black with rock music is what I'm talking about.

>>384925092
>where the Dark Hand of Sauron takes on the appearance of Sauron
He didn't just take on his appearance he became Sauron and, Sauron regained his physical form.

>>384925117
So what's the issue, if not because of the character's race? We already have plenty of evidence that men from the east and south can reach Gondor, and rebels from those parts are already genuine Tolkienian canon.

I finished the first one yesterday and I gotta say that I am pretty hyped for the sequel as a matter of fact I pre ordered it

For me they can rape the lore as much as they want to, "i am no man" was no good end for Sauron

>>384925232
But then why did he turn back into the Hand when he got killed?

>>384925153
How about the fact that the gameplay is ridiculously boring? Are we allowed to discuss that without you deflecting it as MUH GAMEPLAY shitposting?

>>384925345
Because as you implied the writing is shit

Tolkien legitimately turning over in his grave.

Hobbit movies were bad enough when it came to taking license, but this is some real bullshit.

>>384925337
>For me they can rape the lore as much as they want to, "i am no man" was no good end for Sauron
That was the leader of the Ringwraiths, you fuckwit.

>>384924915
Haradrim weren't niggers. They're Arabs. Niggers literally don't exist in Lord of the Rings.

>>384918614
Because why actually have fun when autistic nerds can screech if one of their cherished generic fantasy books get's adapted to add stuff into it because that's how adaptations work.

Instead of waiting and seeing how this black character plays out, shitposters need to scream about "muh liberals" and "muh ess jay doubyaous"

Instead of looking forward to any of the cool interesting things they're adding and upgrading from SoM, it has to be a focus on that one Destiny video and going on and on about how the combat is so easy and so simplistic and for babies, when it's clear that's not why folks like you and me enjoy the game in the first place.

Instead I can personally take pleasure in the fact that at least some people, like you and me and most likely others can still ENJOY games without having an autistic aneurysm.

>>384925232
The Necromancer Gandalf went to face in Hobbit TA 2500 was Sauron, and Shadow explicitly takes place after Hobbit (in the TA 3000s). Sauron taking physical form was a known possibility by Tolkien's account.

>>384925690
They weren't either. They had black skin and they rode elephants. They were a mix of random cultural shit rather than based on a specific culture.

>>384925337
>For me they can rape the lore as much as they want to, "i am no man" was no good end for Sauron
That was the Witch King of Angmar you fucking dunce

>>384925717
>ignores people mad about every other aspect, including the Shelob bullshit that this thread started with
>reddit spacing
Like clockwork

File: japanese lucifer.jpg (134KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

134KB, 1280x720px

>>384925717

You're a marketer aren't you?

>>384925779
But he wasn't in physical form as the necromancer

File: 1499892232121.gif (2MB, 330x166px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 330x166px

post your reaction when lorefags are going "tolkien is rolling in his grave"
>as if all the shitty movies and other media didn't already damage and disrespect his legacy, it got downgraded into "muh YA epic fantasy" and can't find a way out of it

>>384925337
>For me they can rape the lore as much as they want to, "i am no man" was no good end for Sauron

That was the chief of the Nazgul you fucknugget.

>>384913985
Books based on games are usually trash and rarely canon. I'll pass...

>>384925970
That's not how you use greentext

>>384925970
Tolkien was alive for the FIRST time his lore was raped by adaptations, and that movie didn't even come out. Lord of the Rings is practically designed to be misinterpreted and butchered by the stomping boots of marketing.

>>384926085
At least the LOTR movies weren't as bad as The Hobbit.

>>384925928
Apparently physical enough to appear as a man to teach necromancy to his followers and physically clash with Gandalf at Dol Guldur.

>>384925792
>They had black skin
>Their appearance is somewhat ambiguous, but The Two Towers gives a detailed description of a slain Haradrim warrior that Frodo and Sam encounter. He is described as having swarthy skin and black hair that is braided with gold. He wore a scarlet robe, as did the other warriors, and a gold collar.
>they rode elephants
Elephants aren't endemic to sub-saharan Africa, brainlet.

>>384925904
They're using logic and reasoning to try to have a sensible discussion instead of brainlessly shitposting, so they must be a marketer.

>>384924265
>between 4000 B.C. and 1965 virtually all nations were composed of just one race so you can see where he got that from
This is false.

>>384926206
LOTR movies were god tier in its own right and still stand the test of time. Hobbit trilogy is something I constantly keep trying to forget.

>>384925717
Right, having some modicum of taste and not being a shiteater means you're incapable of enjoying video games.

File: legolas hurricanrana.webm (1MB, 512x250px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 512x250px

>>384926428
Me too, anon. Me too.

>>384926280
Only a serious autistic would defend a shitty game for so long without getting paid for it

>>384926224
Sauron never appeared as man though, he appeared as an apparition with a tiny fraction of his power and that's why he needed to flee from Dol Guldur

>with prophecy comes torment
what sort of mystic babble is this???

>>384924484
Man, you had me thinking it would be a pretty cool plot point for a D&D campaign to have people from a faraway vaguely oriental place flee a great evil en masse and seek out the generic medieval European lands where the PCs hail from, until I realised it couldn't be taken as anything else but a commentary on the current refugee crisis.

>>384913293
My dick thinks it's an excellent idea.

File: 1309477742256.png (500KB, 720x540px) Image search: [Google]

500KB, 720x540px

Why does LotR always attract all of these incredibly obvious ledditors?

>>384923768
That literally is research though.

>>384926639
What would you say is the difference between Sauron's manifestation at Dol Guldur and his manifestation at SoM's end?

>>384926760
Because you have literally no way of telling if someone is actually from reddit or just falseflagging for (You)'s, you dumb faggot.

>>384926760
Site's filled with them, and AAA games with only a tiny shred of originality are hailed as if they were hidden gems by them, so they flock to these threads

>>384926619

Its not shitty tho

>>384925117
>Argument that's literally about people being black when you think they ought to be white
>Ugh why do you dumb leftists think race has anything to do with the conversation?

>>384926935
>(You)s
Hello, reddit

>>384926256
In other instances they are described as 'dark-skinned' or with black skin.

And read up on war elephants, you dumb shit. You think that only Arabs used them? You think only the South of Africa is Africa? I guess Hannibal was Arab huh.

>>384926894
Him at the end of SoM was his physical form at full power, while his manifestation at Dol Guldur was a spirit

>>384927065
Case in point.

>>384927065
>knowing how to spell ribit
hola redtube

>>384927093
>his physical form at full power
Are you certain, given that Talion and Celebrimbor strike him down? Could it be that Sauron not being at full power is what makes that fight in SoM jarringly simple?

Am I the only who didn't understand the ending at all? Why did the guy in black suddenly slit his throat? What in the actual fuck happened?

>>384927005

>Talk about LOTR
>SO YOU'RE SAYING THERE WERE NO BLACK PEOPLE IN EUROPE?

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is a fallacy.

>>384926428
>>384926568
Why did you idiots even watch them? Given how retarded the film was going I joked somewhat early on that the mountain giants in the storm would be a dumb action scene, when that happened I knew how fucked everything was, and then it only got worse in Goblin town where I said "now the barrel scene will be an action scene with people fighting goblins or some shit" and I never watched the other two. I later found out I was right about that, to this day I see webms of the third one and wonder what piece of shit I'm looking at until someone tells me it's the fucking Hobbit.

File: 2313524365324.png (348KB, 592x418px) Image search: [Google]

348KB, 592x418px

>>384926301
Feel free to prove it.
>muh statistical anomalies

>>384927092
Well yes, he was. Where do you think Phoenicians were from?

>>384924897
I see you admit utter fucking defeat.

>>384927359
I watched it with the HOPE of it actually surprising me and being better than I expected.

And boy was I wrong. The first movie was not that horrible but the other two, and especially the third one are simply fucking shit. And too much CGI everywhere.

>>384927093
>full power
citation needed

>>384927092
Tolkien described them as "swarthy", which usually means olive-colored. Which just places their average soldier somewhere between the Middle East and the Mediterranean. I wouldn't discount there being slaves taken from further down along Africa, especially knowing how Sauron works.

>>384927359
The barrel scene is pretty tense in the book though and lends itself to action
I'm sure they went ridiculously overboard, I'm just saying

File: 1498610653530.png (697KB, 768x1156px) Image search: [Google]

697KB, 768x1156px

>>384927331
>talk about how there shouldn't be black people in Gondor, which is all but explicitly stated to be where Europe is
>get confused when people treat your argument as if you had said there shouldn't be black people in Gondor

>>384927298
The reason he was struck down so easily is because of Celebrimbor somehow taking control and allowing Sauron to be struck by Talion, Sauron is by no means immune to physical attack, just look at those who have beaten him in the past. Such as Isildur and Huan, who is a literal dog.

>>384927736

Tolkien hated allegory and you are contributing nothing.

>>384927536
Oh you know why everything is CG right? They couldn't make people short anymore via blocking since they were filming in 3D. Think about that.

>>384927672
>The barrel scene is pretty tense in the book though
You're not understanding my point, if it's already tense by what it is, why not make that instead of putting some shitty acrobatics sword fight bullshit over it?

>>384927331
No you fucktard, it's an analogy, one that someone else on your side of the argument already made at that. You're not being accused of anything. It's directly relevant to the argument at hand. So try a little harder to comprehend the argumentation before taking offence and ranting about leftists because you're the only one making this about things it isn't.

>>384927924
>Think about that.

As a viewer I absolutely don't care, I'm just saying it looks like shit if you do most of the scenes using high amouns of CGI. From locations to even fucking characters themselves, pretty sure one dwarf was completely CGI'd. Or at least he did look like he was.

>>384927940
>it's an analogy

Which Tolkien hated. You're the one who looks at Gondor and says "Oh, yeah, Europe."

>>384927763
That would mean Celebrimbor was able to spiritually overpower full-power Sauron. Do you believe a single elven fear is able to rival a maiar in their prime?

>>384927092
>In other instances they are described as 'dark-skinned' or with black skin.
You mean the ones from Far Harad, that were also described as "half-trolls"?
>You think that only Arabs used them?
That's very clearly not what I was implying.
>I guess Hannibal was Arab huh.
He was Semitic. Carthage was founded by Phoenicians.

>>384928039
Now you are misunderstanding my point. I'm saying think about the fact they made fucking everything look like shit for the sake of putting it in a medium that no one will ever care about.

File: fingolfin_and_morgoth_by_gerwell-d5srbbb.jpg (133KB, 1086x735px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 1086x735px

>>384928223
I don't know what an elven fear is, but have you ever heard of Fingolfin?
And Maiar ain't shit to Elves, by the way

>>384924265
>haradrim are black
False.

>>384928223
>Do you believe a single elven fear is able to rival a maiar in their prime?
No, though I do believe the writers have shit ideas considering they allowed that to happen.

I'm playing the first game right now and how the FUcK do I kill any chiefs if I get dogged by 500 orks and 5 spearnigger captains at once?

>>384928327
Yeah, sorry man. I sometimes misunderstand shit because english is not my native language. But yeah, I agree with you. Making something 3d just for the sake of it when most people don't care or don't like it at all is simply stupid.

Also making Azog (who should be dead according to canon) all CGI too was stupid as fuck. I miss the costumes and such from the original LOTR movies.

>>384928223
>Do you believe a single elven fear is able to rival a maiar in their prime?
I don't think that guy does, but I imagine the writers of the game did. Have you played or watched any of the game?

>>384913397
Hating LotR is the new "I hate Beatles" meme

File: 1492087198365.jpg (9KB, 242x242px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 242x242px

>>384925717
You can't really call something that invented a genre generic when there was nothing like it prior.

>>384925242
None of them are niggers.

Niggers literally don't exist in Middle Earth.

>>384928519
spearfuckers are assholes, just keep dodging around
otherwise, press counter when someone attacks you and you're golden you fucking retard

>>384928669
Got a source for that?

>>384928603
But Lord of the Rings is legitimately good and The Beatles are legitimately shit.

>>384928669
>What are the troll men of Umbar for 500

>>384928528
They made costumes, can't remember why it was cut but they probably didn't look good in motion. Then again neither does the CGI in those movies at times.

>>384928565
They didn't, either. Celebrimbor got a single hit in (while wearing The One Ring) before getting his ass kicked and being tortured to death, and it's very clearly demonstrated in cutscenes in the game.

>>384928528
>Also making Azog (who should be dead according to canon) all CGI too was stupid as fuck. I miss the costumes and such from the original LOTR movies.
Agreed. Honestly the CG from the original movies doesn't hold up well, but I can accept that because the make up and shit still does and the CGI wasn't constant.

File: 1470401538985.jpg (338KB, 1464x936px) Image search: [Google]

338KB, 1464x936px

>>384928409
Why is every single depiction of this battle shit except Howe's?

>>384928735
"It's popular so it's bad!"

>>384927383
Even one person settling outside his borders disproves your claim, you seriously think that never happened? Not with Alexander the Great, not with the Roman empire, not with the migration period, not with the Vikings, not with the Islamic conquest of Spain, or all of the Jewish diaspora etc. etc.? Not to mention the modern concept of race didn't really exist back then and has been subject to change over the years. Are we to include the Irish among the whites or not?

>>384928949
I think Fingolfin dodging and Grond rending the very earth looks pretty good in the thing I posted

>>384928416
>>384928565
There's nothing in Shadow which says Sauron is at full power, and Talion/Celebrimbor striking down Sauron would seem a strong indicator that Sauron is weakened. What indicates that Sauron at SoM's end is at full power?

>>384928041
No, that's ALLEGORY.

>>384928848
I'd honestly want to see costumes in motion even if it looked shit more than awful CGI.

>>384928939
>and the CGI wasn't constant
Exactly, and because of that the movie felt more "real" than Hobbit, which looks more like some fucking cartoon than an actual movie. Sure, it's fantasy, but you know what I mean.

>>384928721
Got a source for there being any niggers? Tolkein has literally never described niggers in any of his work.
>>384928783
>troll men are niggers
Hey man, you said it, not me.

File: Morgoth_1.jpg (89KB, 800x981px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 800x981px

>>384928949
This one is okay. Howe's is definitely the best though.
>tfw no Silmarillion Musou

>>384929058
If you say so.

>>384917609
>- Incest is best
The only incestuous characters I can think of are the Lannister siblings, who are generally horrible and fucked up people and serve as antagonists for the most of the story. I always thought that making them incestuous was to reinforce that.

>>384916516
Orcs culture in LotR isn't violent in the way orks' is, I think. I mean yeah, they are violent, but they're only fighting because of Sauron guiding them, they run away when he does because really they're sad, broken people who ultimately care about survival more than glory of combat or being the strongest etc.

>>384913397

>Someone on reddit told me about Tom Bombadil and now I pretend to have read all the books and understood them; I am a scholar.

File: Untitled.png (20KB, 519x261px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 519x261px

>>384929087

>>384929215
Being that Tolkien has stated that Middle-Earth is intended to be prehistoric earth, and there is no archaeological evidence whatsoever that suggests sub-Saharan Africans are a more recent genetic group than any other groups, it's only logical that there were black people in Middle-Earth and you're a chode-fondling idiot.

>>384929381
Nasmith's landscapes are god-tier but his character pieces are ass.

>>384929087
To be fair Sauron did get struck down by Isildur and a dog

this thread is shit. /tv/ has way better lotr lore threads. yall are autistic

>>384925717

You're saying marketing to moronic teenagers is "looking forward".

>>384913293
Who cares. Monster girls are the best. Would waifu the spider.

>>384929701
Yeah I don't understand why people paint him as this invincible guy when the Elves were fighting motherfucking Morgoth before

>>384929215
>tolkien compares their stature to trolls
>they're literally ''troll men''
Not even memeing, you're genuinely on the autism spectrum.

>>384929582
Citing a wiki?

>>384929582
That's just wikifaggotry in action, mate.

>>384917238
Characters randomly shitting in fantasy stories always amuses me.
It never has anything to do with the plot and always feels like the author added it because he either has a fetish or because it makes it more "real".

>>384929673
So, you have no proof, only baseless assumptions.

>>384929914
The feats of elves in the first age is like Samson fighting lions and killing hundreds of philistines single-handedly in the Bible. Everything was meant to be grand scale.

>>384930101

Yeah, happened in Witcher too. But there it was kind of funny, because Triss was trying to get Geralt to fuck her and there she is spewing diarrhea, with Geralt having to carry her to the bush and back, wipe her ass and all.

>>384930101
I bet it's to drive home her helplessness or whatever
She thinks she's a Khaleesi but once she's in the wild on her own she needs to learn not to repeatedly drink tainted water

>>384930324
Celebrimbor was born in the first age though
He's a grandson of Feanor, is he not?

>>384930335
>Triss will never splurt waterlike diarrhea on your face as you inhale the ungodly smell of her insides

why live?

>>384916712
Why do medieval people know about sperm?

>>384929914
Fingolfin was probably as powerful as most of the Valar. Galadriel, his niece, was on the level of a Maiar.

>>384921683
That doesn't actually kill them though. They stay with Eru until they get sung into the next world.

>>384930636

How did they get ravens to fly to and from various places, carry messages and actually communicate with them? How did they build a wall of ice seven hundred feet high? What was Robert's tax policy? How did the North survive a winter which could last for 4-6 years when they had snows even in summer?

>>384930732
Isn't that just Elves?

>>384930732
What about humans m8
>>384930716
I don't even mean fighting him personally in a duel, I meant fighting his armies and machinations

>>384930636
Why wouldn't they? Did medieval cocks operate differently from modern ones?

>>384930989
>why wouldn't medieval people know about DNA? did medieval genetics operate differently from modern ones?
>why wouldn't medieval people know about particle physics? did medieval physics operate differently from modern ones?
>why wouldn't medieval people know about strokes? did medieval brain surgeons operate differently from modern ones?

>>384917230
theyre ok

File: 1478948651960.jpg (54KB, 650x650px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 650x650px

>>384917238
>"Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm, Your Grace. Whilst you snored, I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all pale sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs."
It's amazing with how fucking terrible Martin is, the show somehow manages to be even worse.

>>384931173
Are you literally retarded?

>>384930989
There's a difference between making the connection that ejaculation leads to babies and knowing that it consists of thousands of microscopic cells.

>>384931283
I dunno man, I'm not the one assuming everyone in every period of history knew everything about the workings of the human body just because it operated the same
Do you fucking know how long it even took people to realize sex leads to babbies?

>>384917238
It really is his masterpiece. Pure kino.

>>384931173
M8 it doesn't require a PhD to find out about sperm, all you need is a working dick and a hand, the fucking Bible mentions it

>>384931350
Oh, you misquoted, then. Yeah, good point. I dunno.

File: 1467917779901.jpg (138KB, 932x582px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 932x582px

>>384931259

The fat fucker doesn't care, he's just going to use that money to have some fun and then he'll die from a heart attack.

>>384931417
>Do you fucking know how long it even took people to realize sex leads to babbies?
Do you you fucking retard? do you have a time machine and went back and took fucking door to door surveys asking about how babies are made you ass fucktard? you sound like a legit dipshit

>>384931481
I think you might be confusing the terms, anon. A sperm is a reproductive cell, you're thinking of semen

>>384931417
>Do you fucking know how long it even took people to realize sex leads to babbies?

Anon... simply from observing animals you could easily add 2 and 2 and figure out that putting your penis inside a vagina and moving it back and forth until you can't anymore means getting pregnant.

>>384931528
That, and the Vipers LI (forgot her name) being a complete bitch instead of preaching peace are the changes that piss me off most about the show.

>>384931757
Whatever, the quote had "seed"

>>384931417
I think they figured it out before writing so I guess we'll never know.

File: 1479392727612.jpg (391KB, 1729x903px) Image search: [Google]

391KB, 1729x903px

>>384931826

Oh right, I forgot all about that.

Because killing your generally accepted ruler, kinslaying your way to power, totally would work.

>>384931528
I haven't read the books in ages, but rereading feels so pointless since it's gonna be decades until the series is finished
Would you mind shortly summarizing what turns Jaime away from Cersei? I don't remember why he despises her at the end

>>384932012
Tyrion tells him about all the guys Cersei has been fucking. Also he's totally got a crush on Brienne.

File: 1467918501291.png (454KB, 892x696px) Image search: [Google]

454KB, 892x696px

>>384932012

Starts with his arrival back to King's Landing, when she sees him maimed. The thing about Cersei is that she loved Jaime only so long as he was a masculine reflection of herself or at least how she imagined herself as a male. Once that was marred, her narcissism shut down any love on her part. Then Jaime started learning about the shit she pulled in his absence and Tyrion told him about right when he told him about Tysha (who was also cut in the show). On and on, this led to further disagreements until she sent him to the Riverlands because she was pissed at him.

>>384931950
That bothered me like fuck. How the hell Arya managed to get Frey's sons, kill them, then cook them into pies WITHOUT ANYONE REALIZING WHAT SHE'S DOING AND FUCKING STOPPING HER? DOES WALDER HAVE NO FUCKING PEOPLE ON HIS COURT FOR FUCKS SAKE?

>>384932468
>>384932378
Right I seem to remember them meeting over Charles Dance's corpse, that was shortly before she sent him away, correct?
I only watched like 1.5 seasons of the show cause it started deviating too much from the books, but I'll forever see Tywin as Charles now

File: 1479392903281.jpg (276KB, 1464x888px) Image search: [Google]

276KB, 1464x888px

>>384932560

The same way Varys and Littlefinger teleport halfway across the world in the same episode.

>>384932803

Honestly, I knew it was going to be shit the moment they altered how things went between Cersei and Robert. In the show, she actually did give birth to a son of his who died of fever in the cradle. And the showrunners keep on trying to portray her as a mother willing to do anything for her children, when even in the books it's clear to see Cersei only sees the children as an extension of herself.

>>384932824
I always thought it has less to do with insulting her House and his feelings about bastards, and more with the fact that he was honor-bound to marry a girl whose virginity he took, so he was caught between two oaths

>>384931826
You're wrong. Objectively the worst thing Dumb and Dumber have done is omit Jaime telling Tyrion the truth about Tysha. That was the whole reason he went to kill Tywin. In the show, he goes to Tywin's chambers for no fucking reason.

The dumbest thing about it is that the Tysha story was brought up in the first season of the show. They threw the pivotal moment in Tyrion's character arc out the window so that they could make that dumb whore Shae marginally more important right before she was killed off the show.

>>384932824
I have watched all of 2 episodes of GoT, these are massively hyperbolic right? I dont believe for a second someone would could drop so much character.

>>384932824
To be fair, who gives a shit about Robb. He's up there with Rickon as most forgettable Stark.

File: 1479394450379.png (479KB, 1181x853px) Image search: [Google]

479KB, 1181x853px

>>384933057

He was a kid, even in that fucked up world, so his mistake was somewhat understandable, but still so fucking retarded.

>>384933180

No, they're not.

She's some foreign bitch from Essos, last name is Maegyr or something, not even a noble chick from Westeros.

>>384933180
Sadly they're not even as bad as a lot of the show.

>>384933293
What's with the colored letters? Is this a secret message?
>plump new wife
Haha was that the one where he took the fattest Frey girl because he got paid by the pound for her?