>love castlevania >excited as could be for netflix movie

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>love castlevania
>excited as could be for netflix movie
>oh now it's a series
>excited as could be for netflix series
>hear warren ellis is writing
>'well castlevania is pretty hard to fuck up. just keep in mind the period and tone of the games but keep the dialogue light'
>series drops
>set up to watch all 4 episodes continuously as a movie
>starts out extremely strong
>spunky female character charms dracula, becomes his HUMAN waifu
>the church burns her to death because muh witchcraft
>dracula swears vengeance upon the land
>wow i can only hope to see where it goes from here
>the shit starts here
>Trevor Belmont is introduced in a sequence ripped straight from berserk
>sequence becomes hideously violent bar fight after 10 minutes of boring as fuck expository dialogue
>occasionally a character (usually trevor) will say Fuck or Shit to get the audiences attention since the writing for every character except dracula and the bishop is god-fucking-awful. no pun intended
>the ENTIRE SERIES is like this
>trevor belmont just goes around badgering people to run away from demons while they spend four fucking episodes saying 'no thanks we're good'
>literally maiming people left and right, but he's still quirky and witty
>:^) lol im so bored of killing monsters aniki lmao
>the big moment in episode 3 is when he gets the townsfolk to murder hired goons with a drawn out, completely inexplicable speech about events he neither has proof for or any reward for exposing
>climax is a fight between edgeboy trevor and a shirtless bishi vampire
>/v/ is full of 16 year olds that choke down this shit because it's tangentially related to a video game