Peach can float and no one is guarding her. So why the fuck doesn't

More princess rescuing? ugh.

She didn't have to put the wedding dress on either but she still did. Really activates the almonds.

>>382256816
she does this kidnapping shit all the time on purpose just to see if Mario still gives a fuck.
She's a needy slut

That bouquet of piranha plants is pretty cute.

>>382257209
more like she hopes that he's going to give up.

She likes big Koopa cock

Things you cannot unhear
>hello internet, welcome to game theory, a show where we make horrible connections to things in videogames so we can trick you into thinking were smart! So I matpat did the research and spent day in day out on mario and it turns out, peach is mental! That's right! So besides my asshole exploding lastnight....

Peach chooses to let herself get captured everytime she and Mario have a falling out. It's her way of making him crawl back.

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>>382256816
She knows Mario found more whores to spend coins on, free of both giant turtles and apes.

>>382256816
In my head cannon her dress is specifically designed to float by using the same material they make parachutes out of.

So naturally the wedding dress can't do that.

>>382256816
She only floats in SMB2, which was a dream.

She can't fucking float.

>>382258956
3D World

>>382258956
She can literally float in any game you play as her

Different timeline.

>>382256816
she wants to marry bowser.

>>382256816
This is all a fetish game. They all get off to it

Battered Wife Syndrome.

>>382259450
And we dont play as her in Odyssey.

Checkmate.

>>382256816
Her floating is slow, though, Bowser or any of his lackies could immediately catch up to her.

I believe she kinda goes along with these kidnappings because the alternative (Bowser burning down her kingdom to get to her) is worse.
It helps that Bowser has a tendency to trap her out of reach most of the time or the fact that he actually keeps her close in this game.

She doesnt float in the 64/Sunshine Universe

>>382263206
She floats down at the end of 64.

Adam didn't give her permission

>>382256816
I'm going to marry this princess once and for all!

When she's in a crisis situation her brain shuts down and she can only repeat the words Mario and help.

>>382256816
Because they're humoring Bowser.

Did Bowser force her to change in front of him?

>>382258956
SMB2 isn't a dream, it's a dream within a dream. But it's not even really a dream, Mario and friends astral project themselves into a land in a different dimension.

>>382256961
You're the only one complaining...

>>382256816
Because she wants Bowser to bone her, but does the kidnapping characde to make the Mushroom people still view her as pure. She secretly hates Mario's guts for ruining everything time after time again.

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>I'll be your 1-up girl!
I love that they're reintroducing Pauline, and apparently she still has feelings for Mario. I really want to see a love triangle with Mario, Pauline, and Princess Peach. Make their relationships a bit more ambiguous, like they were supposed to be, but when Mario spends all his time on Peach it makes them look more like a couple. Either have Mario freely associate with multiple beautiful women, like Pauline, Daisy, etc, getting kissed on the cheek and such, or just have him marry Peach already.

>>382267090
It doesn't really help that Pauline has been mostly absent for the past three decades and they push the Mario and Peach thing for years in spinoffs and main games. If they don't pose the smallest hint of romantic feelings between Mario and Pauline, it's basically a death sentence to the pairing of it's not dead already.

>>382256816
Every game after Donkey Kong is fake. All a stage play, and they're just great friends who fight and party and go karting together. This is their income.
You only really see it in SMB3 because tight budget, and every other game is the same.
The time between releases is them entering filming and production and shit. The gameplay is an honest interactive movie. Peach is actually dating Waluigi, and that's why he never appears in games. He's not a good actor, just the lead girl's boyfriend.
They also produce all the porn you fap to, but not the fanfiction. Toadette handles that.
How else do you think they pay bills? Those coins can't be endless, they must have like border checks and travel costs to go between worlds. Mario AT LEAST needs to eat. Even if it is just pasta with extra mushrooms.

Generally, in a hostage situation, you and your loved ones are safer if you do what the hostage taker says. If she tries to escape, who knows what Bowser will do to her/her people. She trusts Mario will come save her enough to just bide her time waiting.

>>382267675
So Mario getting smushed by spiked pillars or falling into boiling lava is just for the sake of the play?

>>382267860
Photoshop scenes.

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>>382256816
Do you guys think Nintendo will end the anti koopaism and let Bowser win for once?
Getting real sick of some jerkoff from northern italy bullying innocent kids.

>After almost 40 years, Pauline finally gets to appear in a game that doesn't involve her getting kidnapped
Pauline in Mario Sports when?

>>382266675
Not really...

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Those poor baby piranha plants. Killed for a wedding that wont even happen.

>>382267860
Those are stunt actors. How else do you think Mario gets big all the time?
STUNT ACTORS.

>>382268512
>paying for stunt actors
Mario doesn't waste his dimes. Luigi has great CGI skills.

>>382268765
Who said anything about them being paid?
Someones gotta pay for all those silly props and clowncars

>>382268096
Makes you wonder how it would be to play Bowser's side for once.

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>>382268968
I would unironically watch a show based on their dysfunctional family.
Would be 100x better then playing Mr.generic hero man for the millionth time.
I hope these brain dead toads dont get paid for making the same story over and over again.

>>382268096
Who knows, maybe Peach will see Bowser's sensitive side and actually agree to the marriage in the end. Pauline appearing this game will be the start of Mario and Pauline having feels for each other again. The koopa and Mushroom kingdom shall be united in harmony.

>>382258956
>3D World
>Smash

>>382256816
You do realize Bowser has doomships, a flying Clown Head, Winged Troopas, Magikoopa that can fly brooms and other airborne forces right?

>>382269548
Bowser is too busy laughing at Mario. She can just float over towards him and Bowser foiled his own plan for being too close without even restraining her.

>>382268968
I would love this. Nintendo needs to recognize there are those of us who support the idea of a unified Koopa-Mushroom kingdom.

>>382269371
Ian she float forever? Can she survive the fall itself and not the impact, or will she get fucked up like jumping out an airplane?

>>382268195
>Doesnt get kidnapped

I bet you 10 bucks DK kidnaps her in Odyssey for a boss battle

>>382269817
She will just shrink on impact, nothing a mushroom can't fix.

>>382270180
Mario gets fucked up in 64.

>>382270264
Well who is to say that Peach being dead is a bad thing? It's not like she can do any important political move with her being kidnapped on a monthly basis

>>382270784
>It's not like she can do any important political move
This. Peach is hopeless at running a kingdom. She can't even keep herself safe.

She needs to learn a few things from Princess Daisy: There hasn't been trouble in Sarasaland since 1989 and she STILL has time for tennis and go-karting.

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>>382268968
But we have.

>>382271095
>Peach is hopeless at running a kingdom. She can't even keep herself safe.
This is a another good reason on why Bowser is the good guy here.
In the first game he didn't even harm anyone in his first attempt to unify the two kingdoms was perfectly fine until the eternal red hat showed up and started murdering everyone and throwing innocent koopas into lava.

>>382270784
>why doesn't peach jump off or run away
>she could die
>well what does it matter
Thank you.

>>382271559
>his first attempt to unify the two kingdoms was perfectly fine until the eternal red hat showed up
Yes, and if there'd been a smooth transition of power back in 1985 as it looked like things were heading towards, a whole lot of trouble since then could have been avoided.

Personally I'm hoping the Bowser-Peach wedding this fall will finally provide a diplomatic solution to the conflict and begin a new era of peace between the two kingdoms. Time will tell, I suppose.

>>382271559
>In the first game he didn't even harm anyone in his first attempt to unify the two kingdoms was perfectly fine until the eternal red hat showed up and started murdering everyone and throwing innocent koopas into lava.
>turns almost all of its inhabitants to stone, floods it with monsters, and imprisons their monarch because her magic can undo his evil
Bowser's kingdom
>dark, squalid hellholes with high crime rates, while Bowser spends all of the kingdom's meager wealth on extravagant castles and carnivals for himself
Peach's kingdom
>clean, wealthy, happy, safe (except from bowser)
If you really want peace just kill Bowser.

>>382256816
■■●■●■●■●■●●■◇

Because the tiara she is wearing has possessed her.

■●■●■●■●■●■■■◇
Sent from my Ouya

>>382268268
How much do you weigh?

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>>382256816
Remember when Princess Peach was Chi Chi from Dragon Ball and actually had some personality?

Is Peach seriously just going to be kidnapped and do nothing but yell "Mariooo" with the same .wav from 2007 Galaxy?
Fuck sake, can't she have some personality like in the Paper Mario or M&L games?

>>382272882
>turns almost all of its inhabitants to stone
That was strictly a temporary measure and never intended to be permanent. It was only done to assist with integration and once enough Koopa residents had been able to emigrate and get re-established, the spell would have been reversed.

>dark, squalid hellholes with high crime rates
But don't you see how the present situation creates exactly these conditions? The hoarding of wealth and resources by the Mushroom residents and the almost impossible trade situation the two kingdoms virtually guarantees things will never improve. A unified kingdom would dissolve trade barriers, unite the two economies and grant EVERY resident not only the ability to travel without restriction but the freedom to pursue wealth and happiness wherever they are best able to use their talents.

>>382256816
Because Bowser stole her panties, so if she attempts to jump off everyone will see her uncovered underneath.

>>382273967
Fuck off Kamek, you commie, shell niggers will never live here.

>>382268096
>>382268968
If there's ever a Bowser game, I really doubt it would ever involve the Mushroom Kingdom
They would never show something with Mario actually losing in the end
>>382273797
>>382273954
Strictly not allowed, Mario and Peach cannot have personalities
Everyone else is fine

>>382273797
Yeah that was alright, but I liked her more in the first couple Paper Marios. There's nothing wrong with having a character be dainty, gentle, emotional, and feminine, like an actual girl, we don't need "badass princess" from her. She can be clever, tough, and brave too, and she usually is, but her most defining traits come first.

>>382274242
>shell niggers
Just the sort of racism and bigotry I've come to expect from a shroom. Bowser's going to be the best thing that ever happened to you people.

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>>382274452
Mario and Peach have great personalities, they're just not bombastic or edgy.

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>>382274452
>If there's ever a Bowser game, I really doubt it would ever involve the Mushroom Kingdom
This. It'd be about Bowser trying to take over some other place or defend his territory.
And if they went with the former, the game would end with Mario & Luigi showing up to kick the Koopa Troop out.

>>382274769
Mario is a smooth mother fucker.

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>>382275087
The smoothest.