How do you start doing the things you know should be doing? I've

File: 1496999543659.jpg (162KB, 1264x1630px) Image search: [Google]

162KB, 1264x1630px

How do you start doing the things you know should be doing? I've thought and thought endlessly about my situation, weighted in all my options, written out all I want to do, what I can actually do within my means, and what I should be doing so I can start progressing. I've mapped out everything. And yet I've not done a single thing about all of it, I have it all there, but I do nothing with it or about it. It's even stuff I'm interested into, things I like and would like to get into more besides my current superficial knowledge. But still, nothing.

How do I start? How can I start? Why do I just do nothing instead of doing what I know what I should be doing? Why I am so scared of doing something for myself? Why I am so scared of failing at doing those things when I am a failure already it would be just one more drop of water in the ocean? Why do I fear change when it would be a positive one where I end up changing myself for the better?

I hate myself for knowing and yet not doing anything and just wallowing in self-hate and self-pity at my own uselessness.