lets design the world's worst game one aspect at a time

CTDs are a regular occurrence

>>381262127
Turn based combat.

the only systems that it's released on are those from 20 years ago, since the devs are hipsters

requires facebook integration and the game posts on your profile while you play

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Time-Gating everywhere.

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This man is involved and has full reign of social media before, during and after release.

the enemies refuse to touch your peckah

>>381262389
and it's unclear when a turn has actually passed

>>381262127
Large maze area that's dark and has a short timer

Xbone exclusive, runs at 20 fps on average.

Escort missions

>>381262127
the game has a overwhelming amount of choices, the most of any game ever, that have absolutely no effect on the story

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enemies can cast manlet magic on you that turns you into a manlet IRL

Tilt controls are a core aspect of gameplay
and you have to buy a peripheral

>>381262838

Timed escort missions, and you have to solve a string of puzzles in this section.

The timer doesn't stop while solving puzzles.

>>381262127
the main character's health is tied to the players, so if you die in the game you die in real life
this doesn't actually matter though because there are no game-over states and you can't actually fail in any way, shape, or form

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the game includes a secret character that hides from gay people
you never find it

>>381262127
Limited continues.

Lots of backtracking through empty areas, without new ways to interact with those old areas

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having sex raises your aggro spec

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Weapons can break on a whim

Advertisements interrupt the game randomly.

Have to be online to play

Can buy temporary consumables and boosts in versus multiplayer with microtransactions that increase your character's raw statistics, or even gate certain parts of the map (ie must have premium to use ladders)

Is not actually a game, but is advertised as one anyway.

The narrator constantly makes outdated references to 2000-2012 memes

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game causes bad posture

randomly generated skill tree

>>381262745
all movements require a QTE to do succesfully

JRPG story and gameplay.

>>381262672
don't even joke about that

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>>381263926
wew

this

>>381262996
Jokes on you, I am already one ;_;

>>381262389
What the fuck do people have against turn based combat

Early Access

>>381265340
it is an abstraction of group combat since you can't control multiple characters at once, that is no longer necessary due to advances in ai

>>381265441
Well that depends on the style of turns doesn't it? Also sometimes you want to control all group members because the AI is invariably going to make some stupid decisions.

>>381265715
let me put it this way
in the ff7 remake,
does it make any sense for aeris or cait sith to take part in battles?
why would barret yuffie or vincent require any player control, since they use ranged weapons and can literally just stand off screen shooting enemies?
only tifa, cloud and cid make any sense to be manually controlled and cid doesn't show up until the second act of the game

>>381265920
>jrpg
But you can't take a universally shitty genre as example. Because of course that is going to be full of bad design decisions. Imagine instead a remake of Baldur's Gate. It's turn based combat, and it's certainly not clear tm when turn end. Yet of course you want to be able to control all characters.

open world but only a few places are worth visiting

Flexing animation after you heal.