>Buy the game and start it up >Do tutorial shit >Kill

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>Buy the game and start it up
>Do tutorial shit
>Kill bandit
>Meet Merchant dude
>He seems like a bro, offers me his house
>Retrieve his brother with my tiny volunteer army
>Help him beat off bandits in the town and get the guard Captain arrested
>King of Swandia or whatever tells him to fuck off and he gets exiled
>Decide Swandia is run down anyway, nickname it Swampia
>Curse the name Swampia and swear one day I will make it mine and find Merchant bro again
>Check tavern to see if he's there almost every day
>Nope but some cute girl's there who wants to adventure with me
>Take her with me, forgot her name just call her Future Wife
>Go to some lesser castle to see if I can find a richer wife, preferrably a Duke's wife to seducce
>No but meet a Duke
>Seems like a dick so I call him Duke of Dicks
>Wants me to collect taxes from his town
>Collect all the taxes and it's like 3k money things
>Run off with beautiful Swampia wife to be and all that money and go to uh snow place
>Recruit from all passing towns and buy expensive armor
>Not a lot of recruits but not too bad
>Beat down bandits and collect their shit
>Get attacked by Sea Raiders
>Hah no problem
>Fuck their 10 killed my 15 recruits
>Get dragged around battered and broken
>Escape
>Recruits and wife to be are gone fuck
>Accidentally hit more sea bandits
>Ass gets kicked again
>They take some of my weapons
>My horse is gone they stole my fucking horse??
>See Nord army fighting sea bandits. Really want my revenge
>Fight alongside them
>Nord army gets wiped the fuck out
>Get my ass handed to me AGAIN
>Escape again
>It's nighttime
>Decide to flee to nearby town
>Bandits are waiting for me IN the town
>Ass gets beat
>Im poor, no more food and no horse

I don't think I'm playing this fucking game right