Hi. I'm Until Dawn. I have a piece of DLC that is only available

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Hi. I'm Until Dawn. I have a piece of DLC that is only available to people who pre-ordered the game. This DLC is additional story content in a story-based game. Since I'm a new IP made by a new studio, almost nobody pre-ordered me, in fact you would have to be really stupid to pre-order me, since you had no assurance of quality whatsoever! But that's too bad, because now you'll never be able to play me in entirety. Because you didn't pre-order, the full game, the full story, is forever locked off from you.

So remember: this is the future of gaming! You will have to pay over sixty dollars to pre-order every game that you want, otherwise you will miss out on important story content, character development, who knows what else! Oh, but even then you won't be paying for the full game. You'll have to shell out another forty dollars for the season pass! That season pass might include a whole other game's worth of content, or it might be a twenty minute mission and a bunch of skins! Who knows? The important thing is that if you want to find out, you'll have to pay over a hundred dollars to pre-order a game when you have no way of knowing whether the game will be good or not! Did I mention all reviews are paid for, and all footage from the game is doctored? It's a completely blind gamble with your money!

Anyways, I hope you have fun playing me! Just not as much fun as the people who pre-ordered, and are experiencing content that you will never, ever see!