Design a game that'd fuck with Speedrunners or Pirates.

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>If you don't do every major area in the proper order the game freezes on the final boss

>>376593645
>Basically I'd make it seem like a really shitty port so it'd be easy to tell pirates apart on help forums.
Good idea in theory but what if the game IS a real shitty port? Be known as a dev who ban people because he can't deal with criticism whatsoever.

Also speedruns of Zelda: MM and Dead Rising exist. Unless you are going Animal Crossing tier of slow pace (even then a 100% run of that exist believe it or not) then it won't effect anything, at most it will just make your game real shitty and completely unplayable at a pacing that even normal players would enjoy.

All of your ideas are awful. Even forcing a small res will just tell anyone who pirated or watching a youtube video of a pirated game that it is just a shitty game. If news of the pirated version fly faster than the pay version (which is generally the case) then you would only do more harm than just letting the pirates pirate.

>>376593645
Speedrunners abuse glitches to move faster. It's not about actual skill.

>>376593645
>fucking with piracy
When did this NOT backfire on normal users?
Only time I know such thing worked is when some Batman game got leaked and people were asking for support on official forums before release date.

>fucking with non-autistic players because you get triggered by speedruns
Sad!

>>376593645
>Here's my idea for fucking with pirates
Dumbass, you need to make it something subtle or the crackers will fix it before releasing the crack.

>>376593645
the only way to turn away pirates without actually causing harm to regular players is to create a system that doesn't actually get in the way of the game, but prevents them from streaming or recording gameplay without people knowing it's been pirated. or as skullgirls did, have a confusing message that only appears for pirates, making them expose themselves

>>376593645

>fuck over speedrunners

As a person who's planning to go into game design, this is a really good idea. I am definitely going to try and implement the first idea of speedrunning a level gives you a super long bonus level that is just massive, and would take like an hour to complete, longer than it would to complete the game at a normal pace, but the quick time to unlock the bonus level is pretty easy so you'd have to go super long and add about almost an hour to a playtime anyways dawdling to not unlock the bonus level, fucking over any speedrunners who try to avoid it. Anything to fuck over speedrunners. I hate those autistic little faggots. I hope none of them ever play my games and if they do they get triggered by it.

>trying to stop speedrunners
How about coding a game properly, you dumb fucks.

>>376593645
Are you that butthurt over other people's decision that you dream up a fantasy in which you fuck them over ?

>Elder Scrolls-like game with a crime system
>Pirate Player is flagged
>Guards in town will hunt down and fine the player for 5999 Gold ("retail price")
>Any time the player fast travels anywhere, a guard will be there to take 6k gold from him

>unskippable elevator scene
>it takes randomly between 5 and 30 minutes to finish with elevator randomly stopping at random floors and forcing you to deal with whatever is outside

that should do it for the speedrunners

>>376595564
>I hope none of them ever play my games
don't worry, I'm sure nobody will ever play your games ;^)

>>376595819
yeah but that would also fucking suck for people actually playing you ass.

>>376595878

Butthurt speedrunner detected, don't you have to be dedicating time to figuring out how to shave off 0.01 of a second off your next run of Goldeneye or Mario 64 again?

>>376594428
Off the top of my head: Garry's Mod, Serious Sam 3, and the Talos Principle.

>>376595564
If the "bonus level" takes an hour, and you have to wait an hour to not trigger this bonus level, then speedrunners are just going to go fast in the normal level and then speed through the bonus level as well. All that will do is fuck over normal players who don't want to fuck around and go straight to the thing that progresses the main game.

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>>376593645
>muh piracy

why do so many industry shills think that console kiddie central, /v/, represents even close to 0.000001% of the gaming community and, thus, is susceptible to this hackneyed, eternally debunked meme?

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In order to fuck over speedrunners I'd purposely give the game a one in a million chance to go to the ending instantly on startup.

>>376593645
>game has a 5-% chance of crashing every 1-5 minutes
This is the only anti piracy measure you can implement in a way that doesn't make it obvious and easily crackable.

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*blocks your path*

>>376593645
>>Completing a level quick enough sends you to a bonus level
>>This level is a "collect/kill as many mcguffins before time runs out"
>Or maybe
>>Game has a day/night cycle
>>missions are a day by day basis meaning the runner has to find ways to skip time to unlock further missions (this would fuck over any glitch-less runs)
That won't fuck over speed runners at all. They will just learn to wait x amount of time to complete a level so the bonus doesn't trigger. And a Day cycle would just make them fool around for an hour before they do the next mission, it'll still be a speed run because technically they would beat the last mission faster than normal players, or just glitch the game and oob there way into the next mission.

Piracy is possible, it's not possible to fuck up a speed run, it's literally just playing the game as fast as possible.

>>376593645
I'm making the game and I'm literally putting things so if speedrunners find them they can beat the game in under an hour.

But that would mean they have mastered the game to completely insane levels and tried to find shortcurts everywhere.

Also, using items in not obvious ways.

But I'm interested in the "fucking with pirates" part.

>>376596331
is on to something. But instead of random chance, make it deliberate. Subvert the speedrunning process by creating the "optimal" run that is easy to get, avoids every single bit of actual content and story, and no speedrunner could possibly improve upon.

Give the game a very easy to find (for speedrunners) handful of skips that instantly brings them to the last moments of the game so that their playtime is only a minute if even that. Every one of them will get the exact same time with not even one hundredth of a second able to be shaved off.

>>376593645
is this game good if all you want to do is murder people for their digital views?

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>Final boss can be beaten extremely easily with a weapon found just seconds away from his chamber, and reaching the chamber is very easy from the start of the game
>Unlocking this weapon requires you solve a random excessively detailed mathematic equation
>There is a character that you meet at the 80% point of the game's main story who will naturally look at the puzzle, snap their finger, and solve it for you in literally one second
>Party member will also make some off-handed joke like "Boy I sure am glad we brought Mathematician into the party, it would have taken us FOREVER to solve this equation if we didn't."

>>376596210

I wrote out a long post and fucking firefucks crashed as I was about to hit submit. God I hate that.

From memory:

What I meant is, the time you need to wait to not unlock the bonus level, is just shorter than the fastest speedrun of the bonus level we can do in the dev office. Doesn't have to be an hour. You are right there that an hour is too long and we would annoy regular players.

Maybe it could stack over levels, if you finished 3 levels in a row in an under par time, you unlock a super secret bonus level, and the length of that level would add up to the equal timing of the rest of the level times that the speedrunners skipped. Lets say those 3 levels were, 12, 8 and 16 minutes each normal, but all speedrunnable in about 5 mins absolute minimum time, and it only requires going under the par of 12, 8 or 16 to trigger the bonus level. Now this bonus level is the exact length of the skipped time for a maximum speedrun. So the bonus level would take 21 mins to complete by our dev teams fastest time, we would hone it till it took this long to finish. So that way, a speedrun ends up being no faster than a run done in leisure.

So then the game would be impossible to speedrun, as anyone but a perfect run would be slightly slower than a leisure run, and there could even be a randomizer for the parameter trigger for the bonus level, differing by a minute or so each playthrough so runners couldn't sit there and finish the level at 12 mins 1 second for example.

What I dont understand is why anyone would want to fuck with speedrunners in the first place.

>>376598487
Because they're more autistic than speedrunners are, and that's an achievement.

>>376595564
>>376598242
>waaah people enjoy playing my game but they're not playing it the way I intended
>I have to stop them

>>376595564
>haha I'll spend weeks making this level that normal people will never get to experience that'll show speedrunners!
And that's why you'll never make a game

>>376598534
>>376598592

Assmad faggot speedrunner detected. Don't you have some HRT drugs to be taking as you study a way to glitch through more of OoT's world to get a faster time.

>>376598737
>study a way to glitch through more of OoT's world to get a faster time.
So it's just pure jealousy that people have skills you don't? Wow.

so the second or third mission will just be this long, impossibly dull escort quest where you take a cart pulled by an ox through a mountain. The pace is soul-crushingly slow, imagine a snail's pace when he wakes up on a saturday morning to get his morning coffee. You can get the ox to speed up by kicking it, but that will reduce it's health which is pretty limited and all of the denizens of the mountain path will try to attack and kill your ox so that's risky. You can however heal it by ordering your healer to heal you, and latching onto the head of the ox so that the AOE heal that is cast will also positively affect the ox, so you can kick it again and again just being mindful of the monsters that plague the mountain path, oh and the falling rocks too. And then I'd introduce a speedrun mode when I rereleased the game with another couple dozen hours of content for 40 bucks.

>>376598782

>finding glitches
>a skill

Haha holy shit, maybe if you want a career as a software tester I guess. Have fun working for free for your "entertainment" though speedrunner.

>tfw if any speedrunner ever finds any glitches in my game to increase their speeds I will patch it out immediately so they can never improve their times again.

Oh god what I I purposefully included a glitch day 1 that makes the whole game completed in a few minutes via some warping glitches, wait till the first speedrunner video goes up then patch it out so that no one can ever improve ever again. A time that that first few days will be forever unattainable.

Hate against speedrunners is something I will never understand
Why would you got out of your way to dislike someone playing a game differently from how you do

>>376598737
I don't do speedruns (not autistic enough to spend ages memorizing a vidya game), I just don't understand why it would be a problem if people enjoy playing the game in a different way than you intended, be it speedrunning, modding, messing with console commands or whatever.

>>376595807
Now that is a good idea. Just make the guards in general assholes who harass the pirate player constantly.

>>376598970
>I am 15 years old please give me attention
here, enjoy

>>376593645
How it feels to be corporate dick sucker?

>>376598970
You do realise some speedruns are done on specific versions of the game precisely to bypass this, right?

>>376598970
>find glitch
>learn how to exploit it with pinpoint accuracy so you can repeat it to make your run faster
>not a skill
You are going to die an angry little man.

>>376593645
>you're a super hero
>you've been stripped of most of your powers
>the longer the game goes on, the more your powers slowly come back to you
>attempting to speed run to the final boss will only make you underpowered and literally not physically capable of killing the boss

>>376598984

>hey mate you want to have some fun?
>yeah okay but only if we do it as fast as possible so it's over really quickly and we can go back to boredom

I hate them on such a primal level.

I am the type of guy who will turn a 14 hour game into a 35 hour game, without any effort at all, just playing it and going my own pace, doing my own thing and taking in the games atmosphere, learning the mechanics well and just really appreciating it. Fuck speedrunners and fuck speedrunner.

>>376599164
>I'm autistic and thus can't understand that different people like different things
Get yourself checked my friend

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>>376599164
>Somebody likes something I don't

>>376593645
>le piracy is bad maymay

>>376599164
>yeah okay but only if we do it as fast as possible so it's over really quickly and we can go back to boredom

I'd imagine speedrunning takes a lot of practice and studying the game to find the fastest way to beat it. Could that, and the feeling of accomplishment when you do a perfect run, be the "fun" part?

>>376593645
>Basically I'd make it seem like a really shitty port so it'd be easy to tell pirates apart on help forums.
How to get bad advertisement across the internet in one easy step.

Lets be real the mountain of people that pirated minecraft and talked about it so that others bought it were a big part of its success. Hell its why I bought the fucking thing.

You want to fuck with pirates; price the game well, have a lot of content or release more for free over the following year so they need to keep downloading it again, and add a nice thanks for playing heart felt message to the credits/bootup.

Between getting value for your dollar, less hassle to buy it over pirate at good cost to content, and general guilt of pirating something worth buying I can promise most would buy it.

>>376599132

Speedrunners would just find the perfect time to wait till they could have enough power to beat the boss.

This is the best one >>376598242 Make the game honed so that a speed run and a regular run end in the same amount of time, by punishing a speedrunner (and rewarding a regular player who just happens to be fast) with more things to complete that are timed to be the lenght of the content they skipped by speedrunning it.

So therefor, no wonder how fast you got through a game, weather you were super fast or very slow, your end completion time would be the same.

>>376595992
I love how SS3 dealt with pirates.

>>376599164
>Babby thinks spending 35 hours on a 14 hour game is even 1/10th of what speedrunners spend on it.
(You)

>>376598980
They are cringey autists and deserve to be fucked with, same with pirates

>>376599331
And do you create something that lasts the precise length of the skipped content? A corridor?

>>376599407
Says the guy making a completely autismal thread on a taiwanese basket weaving forum detailing his fanfiction about he'd totally fuck with them if he were making a thread

>>376599164
Speedrunners probably experience a typical game way more than you do with your slightly more than double usual playtime. I've no personal interest in the speedrunning community and most of them that I've seen look like total faggots but it takes a lot of dedication and practice to master a game so much that you can complete it that quickly.

>>376599452
I didn't make this thread. OPs methods are dumb but I agree that these communities deserve to be fucked with

OP, you're retard who doesn't deserve a (You). You can become perfect indie dev, all you need now is women studies and game design degrees.

>>376593645
just stick an eyepatch on the PCs head, or code in an annoying immortal parrot that follows the PC wherever they go, parroting ingame dialogue and alerting enemies to your position

As for fucking with speedrunners,

>the faster they go, the more enemies they will have to handle on the next area. Maybe have enemies they didn't kill in the previous area show up
>out of bounds is handled by sending you to what's effectively hell to go up against its own boss fight. You beat the boss, you get teleported back, you earned the right to walk around out of bounds
>all undefeated creatures show up to help the last boss, sufficiently levelled up to challenge the player, then you get to go up against the final boss

>>376593645
>>376595992
>>376599348

Fun anti piracy measures are the ones that are funny and not cruel, or just practical joke tier and don't actually lock you out of the game. I could image if it's an open world game like Skyrim or GTA, if you pirated the game, something fucking stupid would happen like pedestrians or random NPC's would follow you around and start shouting and repeating the same line, generally being funny/annoying but not really getting in the way of the game.

If it's a story game, maybe make a special quick cutscene, where the characters are getting ready for some big event and suddenly there is a police raid and cops show up, and your character is placed under arrest for piracy, and this tough gruff cop speaks into the camera directly to the player, saying they know they pirated it, and that today they are letting them off with a warning, but advising them next time they should buy the game. The cops then let you go and exit the cutscene, but then your friendly NPC's comment to you after saying shit like "holy shit dude we have an important mission right now and you pirated the game, getting the cops on us, don't fuck up on us man" or just shit like that to pysch the player out, make them feel a bit guilty but also not to ruin the experience, while also being memorable and cool.

Or there could be a joke like the game has a nude scene, but in the pirated version all the naked bits are censored, but in a funny way like some NPC runs in front at the worst time, or something like that fucking duck gets in the way, pirates may not even know they missed out on some tits, puss and ass in that way.

>>376599450

Just a fairly linear bonus level that takes the exact amount of time to complete that is the total amount of time you can skim off the other levels from regular par to fastest speedrun.

>>376599638
>>the faster they go, the more enemies they will have to handle on the next area. Maybe have enemies they didn't kill in the previous area show up
Most speedrunners will not kill anything they don't need to, unless they are in a locked area wth no OOB
>>out of bounds is handled by sending you to what's effectively hell to go up against its own boss fight. You beat the boss, you get teleported back, you earned the right to walk around out of bounds
Where is the downside? Still faster
>>all undefeated creatures show up to help the last boss, sufficiently levelled up to challenge the player, then you get to go up against the final boss
With good OOB the speedrunner will arrive at the boss at a low level, meaning those enemies are trash. Most likely though, just OOB inside the final room.

>>376593645
>If the game detects it's cracked
lmao

>>376599767
So it would be extremely boring, fast. And provided someone, not a speedrunner, did play that game a little fast, they would rewarded by a shit level that takes them out of the experience.

Great idea.

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>the game keeps a tab of every boss you skipped, and spawns them in during the final boss fight

>every enemy you run past stays aggro'd for the entire game, so if you run through large areas every enemy will follow you until the end of the game, no doubt resorting in terrible performance due to the amount of shit being rendered

>each area contains an important item which makes the final boss killable, if you skip one of these items the boss is indestructible

>put in shortcuts that the average player would overlook, which only work 50% of the time (for example, a ledge you can run across to skip an area, which breaks 50% of the time and drops the player into a gauntlet of tough enemies) essentially making WR runs a complete RNG fest

>>376598184
>Use X on Y
Not exactly an original concept.
And people would still find the best way to blitz that 80%. On it's own it still cuts off 20% of the game

>>376593645
If for some reason I had to fuck over speedrunners because my boss is a sperg or something, I would make it extremely easy to get to the end and make the final encounter super hard for early players. Playing the game normally is fine, speedrunning isn't too exciting because the only tech is "how do I beat the last boss from the start".
That said, I would rather people play my imaginary game however they want.

>>376593645
The problem is that ports are always bad, so everyone would immediately believe the reports that it's shit.

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>>376593645
If you speedrun it your mother will die in her sleep tonight

What about difficulty that scales to how well you are doing?

If level one is completed under a certain time, level two will have more enemies who deal more damage. This would be combined with unskippable bosses to create choke points.

>>376598897
That fucking mission gives me conniptions.

>>376599872

Linear doesn't mean bad, I meant it had to be linear and not open because that allows for variation in completion times, and if it has to be an exact time number it has to be linear. Could even be just a cool on rails side bonus mission with lots of run scenery and NPC action to look at, or a walking sim interactive cutscene to get through that sheds bonus info on the story as you watch NPC's around you as you hurry through the level. There are many ways to do it that would make it fun, at least for a first time playthrough, and it's always skippable the second time by not speedrunning a particular level, maybe you do a fast playthrough of the 12 and 16 min levels and do them in 5 mins, but on the 8 min level you just spend 3 minutes fucking around before finishing (and speedrunners skip shit anyways, so maybe you spend 3 mins not skipping shit) and then you don't get the bonus level if you don't want it.

>>376599027
>pirates become black

If any developer is reading this thread, this is the perfect example on "How not to make a game 101".

>>376599767
If it takes an exact amount of time to complete then what's stopping the speedrunning community from just omitting that shit in their runs? Or they would just include it anyway but not be that bothered by it since everyone else in their community will end up having to pile that same exact amount of time on their speedrun time anyway.

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>>376600129
>salty speedrunner joins the thread

>>376598897
>>376600095

What game?

>>376600097
So on later playthrough I have to play a game with a timer on if I don't want to waste time doing things I have already done, particularly at the start of the game.

Either that, or I get some odd shit level with bizarre content that is hardly the same every time, but that will be mosty canned and repetitive.

And if I play with that timer on, I can get the chance to skip it, or I get a level that is just a door I have to go through.

Sure. Awesome idea.

>>376600313
Dragon's Dogma

>>376600403
Hold the fuck up, you can make the ox go faster if you hit it? What the fuck?

>>376600240

The point is it defeats the purpose of a speedrun by making sure every playthroughs minimum completion time is about the lenght of a first time players playthough no matter how good or fast you are going through the levels.

Someone who's super good gets extra levels to pad out the time so that he finishes at the exact second as someone who's shit and doesn't unlock a thing. A speedrun is a useless thing to do here. If the speedrunner avoids the bonus stuff it's still the same time as if he did them and no different to any other regular/bad player.

>making a game that fucks over speedrunners
Who the fuck would go out of their way to spite someone who loves your game so much they're willing to invest a ridiculous amount of time into mastering it? What the literal fuck is wrong with you?

>>376593645
>unskippable dialogue
>said dialogue is really slow between transitions
>unskippable cutscenes
>no fast travel
>menus take a long time to go through
>no glitches to exploit

>>376593645
I'd make such a shitty game that nobody would even bother pirating or speeedrunning it.

>>376599407
>t. I have been bullied in school

>>376600453
From the wiki
>This escort quest can be sped up considerably by bringing a Mage pawn with Anodyne (or by using group curatives like Spring Water). Kick the Ox and it will dash forward. Allow the Ox to trample the Arisen, which should trigger the Mage pawn into casting Anodyne. The Arisen should stand next to the injured Ox in order to heal it. Kick the Ox as often as needed while ensuring to heal it when its health gets too low.

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>>376595807
>master stealth related skills
>dickass thief pirate
fast travel is for pussies anyway

>Completing a level quick enough sends you to a bonus level
Actually adds an interesting complexity to speedruns. Remember that speedrun is based on best time so anyone who finds the fastest way wins.

>>376594380
I am not even a speedrunner and I know some glitches are harder to pull off than playing the game normally. Like frame skips, abuse of i-frames in some games and things like that.

>>376597105
This is really cruel, I like it.

>>376600485
This. Speedrunners run games they love, otherwise they'd get burnt out way too quick.

>>376600490
>all things that also make normal players hate your game
:thinking:
also
>no glitches to exploit
name 1 (one) game that has 0 (zero) exploits

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>all these corporate shills with M-MUH PIRACY
Ahahaha, I'll pirate your game and there's nothing you retarded faggots can do about it

>>376600345

Why are you assuming it will be different or out of place from the rest of the game? Or that it will have bizarre content? I'm still gonna make it fun. Did you never play old Id and Build engine shooters? They had tons of secret levels though they were unlocked by secret entrances. All I am doing is changing it from unlocked by secret area entrance, to unlocked by time completed, then fine tuning the levels to be a certain length to completion. It will still play in the same style as the rest of the game. If it's not a linear game, then it wont be a linear level but maybe it will be a timed objective, ei, you are on a big boat and it hit a fucking iceberg and water is filling up and your got exactly 21 mins until it sinks but also the rescue chopper is 21 mins away, run around this open world ocean liner and find a way to the top in time and once you get there defend the highest point from other people on the ship so you can be the one to jump to the chopper.

>>376600516
That's every idea on this thread

>>376600258
>Waaaaaa stop liking what I dont!
And just for you big baby, I've never speedrun because I find boring to play the same game hundreds of times to beat it 1 second faster.
And honestly if you weren't such a toddler you'd see every single idea posted is the perfect example on how to make people speedrun their refund.

>>376600682
Sounds like a reward for speed runners rather than fucking with them. I want bonus levels too game dev-kun.

>>376600682
You cannot fine tune it because you cannot have an interesting level take a completely random amount of time.

A special level is fine. Forcing people to replay the exact same thing, and lets not delude ourselves, it will be, because they cannot skip or move faster in the original levels defeats the entire purpose.

At the end of the day, what you are proposing is to spend the majority of your time and assets on special levels rather than the game itself.

>>376600490
>unskippable shit
You're literally creating more rest times for speedrunners and make normal players hate you at the same time.
>no glitch
Good luck with that.

Make it so you can move slightly faster doing some stupidly convoluted combination of buttons over and over

What would be the practicality in purposefully making a game horrible to speedrun? The worst they're going to do to your game is give it a bit of extra exposure from the content they produce, and maybe a bit of extra news site coverage with the "hey holy shit this dude already did a fast in the new game" type articles.

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>put a "glitch" at the start of the game which allows you to skip to the end
>make it really hard to pull off correctly, and even then, make it only work 10% of the time
>leak it on a speedrunning forum

I'd make it something really tedious and frustrating to pull off, like running in a corner and completing a very specific set of attacks for 10 minutes. Also would make it so it takes you right to a really tough area filled with enemies that 1-hit-ko you, and it's highly possible that you get killed immediately when you appear there.

I would also make it so the game gives you a 100% completion rating if you do it this way, too annoy speedrunners who dislike any% runs.

>>376601086
>what is Vice City?

>>376600880
>At the end of the day, what you are proposing is to spend the majority of your time and assets on special levels rather than the game itself.

That's just because we are talking about fucking over or messing with speed runners in this thread. Who says I haven't put significant amounts of thoughts into the rest of the game.

I even state right here >>376595564 that I didn't have the idea to mess over speed runner until this thread. I can just add a bonus levels and time parameters to a game where it fits.

>>376600868

Some of the bonus levels in Quake and Shadow Warrior were pretty damn good. I can't believe so much effort was put into levels that were hidden away like that.

>>376601175
Holy shit. How did somebody figure that out?

>>376593645
Who's more autistic, the speedrunners or the people who obsess over hating them?

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>>376599164

>stop liking what i don't like
How dare they make the pixels move on the screen in ways you don't like!

>>376601434

It's more like messing or fucking with them in fun ways in this thread, quit getting salty.

If you buy the game the credits say "thank you for playing"
If you pirate the game the credits don't say that

>>376593645
>If the game detects it's cracked
If it was so easy, they'd just something like "if the game detects it's cracked, the game doesn't launch." But the problem is exactly the fact that pirates remove such protections.

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Fucking with "pirates" is always a bad idea.

Paying customers have a legal right to digital backups of their media. If their disk gets damaged/breaks just a few days after purchase, they'll lose personal investment in your brand. Digital backups also allow them to customize their experience. DRM also has a history of fucking them over, with things like phone-home and only-online that ultimately guarantee the "pirate" has a better experience.

"Pirates" will not pay for your game just because you "fucked with them epic". They'll work around the obstacle. All you've done is alienate a possible customer-base, either by making your game look like shit in their experience and/or ruining (what they consider to be) a "preview" of your game/game series/company.

And it always gets cracked. There a Denuvo game that supposedly "BTFO PIRATES" a year or so ago, and got cracked a few months after launch.

>>376597105
But then the game is just a bad speedgame and nobody will even run it.

How to fuck with pirates

Step 1: make your game always online
Step 2: ???

>>376601750
This is literally the only thing that works.

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>>376599901
>every enemy you run past stays aggro'd for the entire game

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>mgs3 remake
>if cracked, the ladder is slippery as fuck
>gotta mash a button like high-difficulty torture minigame the whole way to not slip down
>song is also covered by a tonedeaf child on hormone therapy

>>376593645
i dont know much about speedrunning but it sounds to me like you want a game that isnt fun to speed run

thus likely not fun to watch someone speedrun

thus no one would really bother to speedrun it

> if a player is speed running through the game and some conditions are met, they are gonna be chased by a autistic manchild poster boy who screams and shits from every orifice where his tendies are.

I actually want to create a game with these kind of visuals.

>>376601843
Jesus wept anon, tone it down a notch. You want to discourage pirates, not drive them to suicide.

>>376601246
And its still a stupid idea.

Adding a bonus level is a good idea. Adding a level that is just good to waste your time, and not in a good way, is just insulting.

In your own words, the level would last the precise difference between par and play time.

Meaning that even a 1 second difference is enough to trigger it.

I you can't see something wrong with that, I don't know what to tell you.

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>Game is pirated
>normally easy minigames or obstacles become extremely hard
>pirates complain about this on forums
>paying customers surprised pirates have such a hard time with a simple minigame

>>376601417
Years of autism research.

If you are a speedrunner does a speedrun mode in a game turn you away? Is it more fun to speedrun and break a game when it wasn't designed around speedrunning?

>>376601604
But adding a few things that won't really reveal to you that you have a pirated copy but reveals it to others is not a bad idea imo. If there is a locked door and you need one more key to open the way but the key isn't frustratingly hard to get, if you do that on stream people will know you pirated it. Or adding an interesting texture you'll talk about somewhere so people can go oh right.

This thread is really autistic

>>376593645

Watch the Digimon World speed run by Sparsie with commentary on YouTube. That game has a shit ton of precise day and night triggered events and it only added to the complexity of the run and the enjoyment for you as a viewer.

>Pirate pirates the game
>They get to play normally for about 40 minutes
>Weird and annoying shit starts to happen
>Guns not shooting straight movement and look controls get inversed
>Eventually turn the player character into a pigeon

I know ARMA has done this, more games should.

>>376601975

If you trigger it by going 1 second too fast then that's bad luck (or good luck to the shitty player who just managed to unlock it) but the time of the bonus level is always the time of the max speed runnable time you can shave of the previous 3 levels. It wont be 1 second long because you were 1 second under par.

This is how it would mess up speedrunners in another way. Make a mistake for a few seconds and you basically fucked you run over. Because you either way out the rest of the 21 mins doing nothing or doom yourself to the 21 min bonus.

My game teleports pirates to a ship out in the middle of the ocean and going beyond the ship's model in anyway would be a insta-kill zone. Not even noclipping or teleporting would save you, the ship is the only safezone.

>>376602092
>>376601479
>>376601434
>>376598980
>>376600129
Seriously, why are you getting so upset about this? Take a breather anon, maybe see if you can beat the SM64 any% WR, that will make you feel better little guy

I released a game on Steam pretty recently (won't say which, as that would be shilling) that a lot of the usual Youtubers have latched on to

Now I've heard rumors that some of these people are massive piratefags, despite making so much fucking money on YT playing games (which I, might remind you, the creators of the games don't see a cent of in most cases)

So with this in mind I snuck a little 'easter egg' into the game that only appears in pirated copies that is unassuming, but easily spotted if it's made to appear due to the game detecting it's been cracked.

So far, out of a sample of like 15 notable Youtubers, more than half have had the the easter egg show up. And these are just the popular guys, the million+ sub behemoths of the crap heap, THE screaming fake reaction manchildren among screaming fake reaction manchildren, I'm sure countless more of their lesser brethren have also had the easter egg show up in their LPs.

I'm still deciding whether to use this against them. or just publically name and shame them, in addition to demonetizing their videos of my game.

>>376601843
jesus christ, pretty sure that would be some kind of human rights violation
but make that minecraft kid do the song while you're at it. you know the one.

Pirated copies have all the characters wearing tricorns and replace the entire OST with sea shanties

>>376602234
>pirated game is more interesting than original

>>376602447
>I'm still deciding whether to use this against them. or just publically name and shame them, in addition to demonetizing their videos of my game.
It's definitely something you should let slip to some journalist, along with the required proof, and then watch the fun unfold.

>messing with speedrunners
you do realise that speedruners are running the game because they like it?

>>376602447
in case it's somehow true, contact them privately about it and see how they react

you never know, some of them might bribe you with some cash money to stay quiet. take the money and expose them anyway unless they are smart enough to make it a proper binding agreement or something :^)

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>release a crack of the game on day 1
>the crack would have the full game in its entirety, but a deafeningly loud screamer would take place after 20 minutes of playing
>make this really easy to mod out (like changing a variable in the ini called "screamer" or something)
>make a second screamer hit at the 40 minute mark

>>376602324
So not only are you fucking your players over, but it can be speedran.

Depending on the structure of the game, either reach the win condition or just time things so that the last level can take the shortest amount of time. Since it will not matter in the end.

Moreover, plenty of games have single level leaderboards.

But whatever, I guess.
>>376602447
The Witness?

>>376602749
Only a fucking idiot would bribe this guy, because if any youtuber doesn't pay up, then he has to expose the whole thing anyway and other people will find the same evidence on their channel.

>>376602447
Break it to a few popular news outlets, you get free advertising and some dumb cunts get shamed.

>>376602447
Wow if this is true that's just sad. I am eager to see that list. Good job anon.

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>release game
>hidden in-game achievement that says I PIRATED THIS LMAO that triggers reasonably far into the game
>have a big laffo as streamers panic when it pops up for them live
>make it prominent from that point so even if they aren't doing itlive the playthrough mysteriously ends prematurely if they don't want it to get out

>>376599901
>rendered
Just look away cunt

>>376599968

I really don't get the hate of speedrunners, but a good way to make the game unfriendly to them would be to simply put a glitch in the starting area that led directly to the final boss, letting you beat the game in a matter of a minute or two. If there was no challenge at all to speedrunning it, none of them would bother.

>>376602447
That easter egg was a great idea, anon.

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>>376601843
Nigga I'd pirate just to play that.
That's like an Olympic event.

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>>376602447
... im actually kinda curious about which game this is.

Good on you for doing this though

>>376602771

This is great, I hope someone does this someday.

>>376593645
You know there is more categories of speedruns than any%? like 100%

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>game has antipiracy measure
>move game into steam common folder
>game now has no anti piracy measure

>>376602447
>NAME
>THE
>GAME

no one cares if youre shilling i just want to know what it is

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>punishing people for playing your game in an alternate style that often has it introduced to a community that raises awareness about it

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as autistic as they can be, speedrunners doing your game is just free advertisement. SM64 is obviously a game they can break in hilarious ways, but it's not like people say it's shit just because you can align your QPUs to teleport or backjump fast enough to quantum tunnel through doors
hell, they basically do QA work for "free". look at the people doing speedy world conquests in games like EU4, they find so many weird and powerful exploits that would be kept secret if they didn't want to show off their epic three mountains world record

>>376595819
They would play it over and over until they got five minutes.

>>376601576

The third spyro managed to last a year or something because it was filled with shit that fucked with pirate copies, if it doesn't work the pirates know something is wrong so they go and fix it, if the game runs normally then they think they cracked it and release it.

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>>376603984
>cheese grater

>release cracked version of the game
>it has insane difficulty spikes all over the place

Most of the game would be normal, but I'd make random bosses and enemies have a massive HP and damage boost and make them more agressive. If somebody did a blind stream of it, they'd either just look really shit, or get exposed for pirating.

I would also tweak the stats of items and weapons in the game, so if they're using a guide they get even more BTFO because really good weapons in the legit game are dogshit in the cracked one, shit like that. Or an item which gives you a boost in the main game hampers you in the cracked one.

I'd also make the game crash out on the final boss, so if somebody did manage to persevere through all of that, they never get the satisfaction of beating the game.

>>376602721
If they liked the game so much why wouldn't they take their time and enjoy it? Well?

>>376601843
muslims are supposed to travel to mecca at some point in their life
experiencing this at least once would be the equivalent for /v/irgins

>>376604283
>HAHA that'll surely get him!!!!!

Maybe they've beaten it already, you fucking retard?

>>376603984
for the last damn time someone explain to me what hyperscat is without posting any images

>>376598487
Yeah I don't really give a shit about speedruns myself but I don't understand why you'd screw with people who like your game enough that they'd want to speedrun it, you're just alienating fans who'd be giving your game free publicity.

>>376600856
>Projecting this hard because he's insecure over the Internet

>someone speed runs a level
>TOOO SOON
>summon ragnaros

>fuck with pirates
Randomly crash the whole computer and start deleting files just in case the game was downloaded illegally

>>376604283
>why wouldn't they take their time and enjoy it?
Do you really think speedrunners don't spend shit load of time on the game?

>>376604359
By fire be purged!

>>376604332
When there is a massive amount of feces present or being expelled, more than would be biologically necessary or even possible.

Taken from their wiki.

>>376604332
Instead of just someone pooping there's like shit everywhere or the person is firing more shit than they have body weight.

>>376593645
Ok, now how do you implement any of this "Features"?

>>376604406
Umm no, they're called speed runners for a reason...

>>376604283
Because they've already played the game normally to death.

I speedrun half-life 1 because I love the game, and played through it enough times to want to take it to the next logical extreme

>>376595819
Fallout 4 does that without stopping at random floors

>>376604369
Kaldaien pls

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>>376604332
hyper anything just means "really huge or a lot of a thing"
hyper tits? tits as big as the rest of the body. hyper dick? gigantic benis that would kill any real organism by not letting their brain get any blood if the dick's erect

>>376593645
>pirates patch it out
>paying users get fucked
this will happen if you do that shit

>>376598970
How can someone be this assravaged by speedruns when they know so little about them? I don't pay attention to them at all behind the AGDQ hilarity that gets, posted here and even I know they segment them with shit like glitchless runs, the guy who beat it with the glitch wouldn't factor in at all to those who are competing for the fastest time without it.

Why are you all giving attention to an edgy 15yo ideaguy?

make a game about pirates
you have to attend a formal event
main character can't proceed with the story line because he can't remove his eyepatch

>>376597105
>>376601715
or there will be a non-skip run

>>376593645
How about you just focus on actually making a good game?

>>376604535
>I love this game so much that whenever I play it I want to get it over with as soon as possible
lmao excellent logic there retard

>Being too good/fast at the game makes it harder ala God Hand
>More enemies spawn and they're harder to beat
>The only way to 'speedrun' the game is to maintain a near perfect skilled to scrub ratio

Just fuck with the random number generator in some parts of the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A294OqAA7Os

>>376604689
Segregate, not segment.
Word choice is somewhat important here, considering "segment" is a speedrun that defines run types (segmented vs single-segment; where segmented just means each little part is perfected and stitched together usually over months or even years; single-segmented being the entire run is completed in one sitting)

>>376604950
>enjoy game
>beat it many times
>decide i want to see how fast i can beat it
>do that
>invest time learning how to speedrun the game
>spend time improving skill and consistency with tricks and movement
>have fun doing it
>somehow this means i hate the game

neurons activated

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>>376593645
>Design a game that'd fuck with Speedrunners or Pirates.
Thats easy
The speedrunner game has sections of completely free movement and passage but every level can also be a rail shooter.
The switch between free movement and rail shooter per level is completely RNG, which is not manipulatable.

The pirate game would detect if it was pirated and randomly hike normal mobs critical chance by a random amount. It would also cap the boob slider by 15-25% off the maximum of the retail version.

>>376605429
>The pirate game would detect if it was pirated
ehehehehe

>>376605214
It's obviously not the game that you enjoy, it's speed running. If you really enjoyed the game you would play it normally and take in the whole experience

>>376605514
If it can't, the entire premise is pointless. It's been done before temporarily with the gta 4 drunk camera, however that was pretty obvious and patched out by the scene

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>calls speedrunners autistic
>spends multiple hours writing out his fantasy of fucking them over, even if he will never actually make a game

>>376605632
He has taken in the whole experience, multiple times, if he's to be believed. In his case it's basically a challenge run for a game he likes. How is this hard to grasp?

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>>376605632
wait a minute, so the feelings of enjoyment i got out of playing the game normally and then enjoying speedrunning it were both fake?
fuck dude i wonder what other experiences/emotions i've had that are also fake, damn lying brain chemicals

>>376593645
>>If the game detects it's cracked it'll delete any data relating missions past the 5th mission
>>The game will only detect 64mbs of VRAM and will force itself in safe-mode on bootup
>>settings can't be changed past 800x600 lowest settings
>>textures will regularly corrupt
>>game has a 5-% chance of crashing every 1-5 minutes
Every single one of these can be negated by the crack.

>>376593645
Even if the only way to complete the game was to do it 100% legit, whoever does it fastest would still be king speedrunner, even if it's like a 16 hour record time

Next you're going to tell me low-level runs, no-equip runs, no-upgrades run, pacifist runs and 0-A press runs are also autistic and should not be done.

>>376605749
Right, and I like chicken. In fact I've taken in the full experience of chicken many times. But if I challenge myself to eat a whole chicken in one sitting, it doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy

>>376594428
Older console games. They had to be more careful with both ironing bugs out and optimization because you only had one chance to make a good impression with release. A shitload of SNES and Genesis games had hidden copyright protection, but most people outside of third world countries would never see it in action until later with emulators, since cartridge copying isn't exactly common practice for most people.
What you said still applies to shit like including some paper doohickey with a secret code in the box that you needed or something. Super annoying for normal users a lot more than pirates, kind of like always-online DRM or the like.

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>>376606127
>food analogies

>>376606127
You're not even trying, but people are so butthurt over your comments that they'll keep replying, so good bait I guess.

>>376606127
FOOD

>>376606127
>WE WUZ FOOD ANALOGIES N SHIET

>>376606262

Not an argument.

>hurr durr I love these advertisements so much that I'm going to watch them at 8x speed because of how much I love them
retards in this thread's logic

>>376606424
>film analogy

>>376599847

This, obviously a crack's function is to invalidate the 'durr detect legit copy or no' part of the executable. Is /v/ the least knowlegable demographic as to how their hobby is made?

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>>376606424
>>376606350

I kinda like Serious Sam 3's way of dealing with pirates: A unkillable scorpion that will keep bothering you.

Okay I'm getting bored of proving you faggots wrong so I'm gonna go to bed. I'll be up in a couple of hours though because I love sleeping so much that I'm gonna speed run it tonight

>>376598782
Go play your moonspeak version of OoT so you can shave off. 01 seconds of dialog

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>>376606749

>>376606749
>not uberman sleep
git gud

>>376606749
Buckminster Fuller figured out how to speedrun sleep and got down to 2 hours across a 24 hour period.

>>376606993
uberman is /x/ shit no one actually does it

>halfway through the game you are talking to a pirate captain
>he asks if you bought this game
>saying no he calls you a thief and instantly kills you
>Normalfags will laugh because "haha he broke the fourth wall like Deadpool"
>gamers will smile at the Links Awakening reference
>the scene goes viral and I get loads of money from people who can't pirate

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As a pirate, my anti-piracy measure will be:
If a game detects a crack, it will switch to black screen with a "KYS" on it and play endless loop of "Gartin Matrix & Kaiser - DRM". Every minute the volume will be louder and there will be no ways to stop the torture and lower the volume. It will continue to loop untile the PC explodes killing the crack user. It will also delete user's files.

Is there a reason to hate speedrunners? I don't really know anything about them, but don't they do that shit to raise money for charities or some crap?

how can i get my watchdogsfu to be female?

>>376607692
Eceleb nonsense. I don't know a single speedrunners name but /v/ can probably name the entire cast of agdq by heart

>>376599675

in a similar vein, why fuck with speedrunners when you can exploit it for free publicity, having characters react to the insanity going on in speed runs without messing them up will get people talking about the game in a positive way
and it won't effect any normal players. You could even have the main character start straight up automatically ignoring/murdering important characters to go faster, which if pulled off right could be amusing while making speedruns spoiler free.

>>376609058

That is a genius idea.

>>376599164
you do understand that a speedrunner plays through a game severel dozen of times. Or when he gets really investet he spends more than thousend hours and even more.
right?