It actually wasn't that bad, I liked it more than third

YAG SPARO

>>87834118
Villian was probably the weakest part

How many times has Barbossa died in this series now? I can think of at least three.

yeah its very lovecraftian

Just watched it, I liked the story but it's getting Dragon Ball like, with every movie some villain of artifact appears that overcomes everything that has appeared before.

So who was the guy in the post credits scene?

>>87834097
I must be getting old, because I thought it was shit.

>>87834097
yeah sure... the only start person in this movie is a woman, while most men are idiots. Also she is the only one who can read the map, not only because she is smarter than these dumb stupid men but also because she is a woman.

Ohh and hey, looking at her feet is just like looking at a goddess or some sort of world wunder. Fucking hate that shit.

Young Jack looked super fake

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I don't know how anyone could like this pice of shit. Easily the worst movie i've seen in a long time.
You can literally see the plot unraveling as the story goes on like what the hell are the rules of the villain? He can possess people now? When was that establish? Why was that british ship even in this movie? Who the fuck was that pig guy? What happened to that witch? What did she even do?!

It's clear Disney has no idear what made the first movie great and the second and third alright.

>>87834260
>THIS

also if that book was a gift from barbosa he must have known the magical mcguffin cunt stick was there all along. why didn't he Just sail there at the start of the movie?

>>87834260
I remember reading that the original screenplay was to have a female villain, but derp didn't like having a girl bad guy so he made then rewrite.

>>87834219
I've said it before, the powerlevels in this are going way too high with each new film, I wish they'd have dialed it back a bit after the fourth, but no they just had to go and bring in something that controls the entire sea and every single sea-related curse.

>>87834260
Did the film actually go over your head or something? She's smart because she actually learned things while almost every other main character is an uneducated pirate, Henry isn't dumb either, he just has a particular set of knowledge. Or are you just being anally annihilated for the sake of it?

>>87835542
Are you okay man?

>>87835669
I don't know how they have kept raising the stacks but so how kept lowering the agencie. Its seemed like they were just fucking around for half this film

So she's a mary sue? All the pirates have had their own unique brand of wit and intellect even the token dumb two from the first three had there long theological and intellectual debates.
They just made everyone else a bumbling imbecile instalment even jack who until this was always silly but witty and cunning now he's just a slap stick character

>>87834097
Just ignore all the lose ends, deus ex machina, cardboard singly motivated hero’s, unlikable mary sue’s, all powerful and yet useless mcguffins, pointless supporting characters, random unexplored subplots, conflicting back stories, weird age jumps, complete disregard of established canon and characters, convenient amnesia, family friendly pirates and embarrassingly poor world building then yea its not that bad.

But most disappointing of all they have taken a silly yet charming, witty and cunning lead character with complexity and turned him into the most basic of all jokes an unlucky slapstick.

>>87834157

weakest part was the 4 horses dragging a bank house through the city

Effy was the best part about the film ngl.

The fourth movie was kino.

>>87834097
I enjoyed it quite a lot, and I honestly would like to see more films in the franchise.

The movie showed jack getting his nickname for a single, stupid reason, and also showed him getting every single one of his clothes and accessories in a single event that only happened because that mechanic was introduced in this movie, just for the purpose of showong him getting everything. This alone disqualifies the movie from being good.

2 and 3 are still the best of the series

this was better than the previous one at least

>this film got a $20 million tax break from Australia

just goes to prove that major Hollywood films are nothing but money laundering vehicles

>>87834097
>liked it more than third or fourth movie
that's not saying much, since they were absolutely shit

>>87834229
are you blind?

Davey Jones

Why is Will still serving on Flying Dutchman in this movie? Didn't third one showed him returning to Elizabeth after ten years because she was faithful and curse was broken?

>>87834118
kek

>POTC: Dead man's chest
>POTC: Dead men tell no tales
They should have picked a different subtitle desu

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her tits kept me going

>>87834097
if depp wasnt out of shape and literally plastered during filming, it would have been better.

was playing a caricature of himself and boy it showed.

why did people shit on the fourth flick

it was a decent adventure flick spin-off as a solo jack adventure

>>87834260
She's the only educated one, the rest of them can barely read because they're fucking pirates.

>>87840632
it's forgettable as shit
i legit can remember anything from it aside from Selman Hayek being in it.

>>87834118
Why was the Spanish accent of a Spanish actor so unrealistic?

>>87840989
desu i prefer flicks like that

makes them rewatchable

>tfw currently watching all the POTC flicks whilst drinking wine

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>>87834118
CAPTON yag sparo

>>87840502
It was called "Salazar's Revenge" in Europe (and I think Asia), and that is a really terrible title.

>>87840989

huh get this brah it was Penelope Cruz and her father Redbeard

>>87834097
It was alright I guess?
I won't remember it by tomorrow. The franchise has really failed to evolve in any way since the first one.

>>87834171
2

So if all the curses of the sea are now broken, why was Davy Jones still an octopus man? Shouldn't he either still be dead, or be a human again?

The timeline of the series is all screwed up now.
So this film is apparently 21 years after the third film?

When exactly did Barbossa father Kaya's character? It was implied to be when he was younger, before he mutinied against Jack, but she's obviously only meant to be in her early twenties, and he was a cursed pirate skeleton for ten years, then the original trilogy happened.

So she is either in her late 30s, or he supposedly fathered her after the third film which makes no sense?

It's all screwy.

"A ship and its crew are cursed and have a beef with Jack Sparrow"

Imagine that.

What was the point of David Wenham's character? He's like a secondary villain for the first half of the film and he's implied to have some kind of history with Barbossa's daughter or pirates or whichever, and then his ship just randomly gets destroyed by Salazar and is never mentioned again. It's like he had a role in the movie, and then it just stopped. Why even show him pursuing them and having the witch track them down and all that?

>>87843358
Ran out of money for subplot.

>>87843358
The movie had extensive production and script problems that caused two full years of delays.

It shows.

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>>87840603
>hanging

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Would you?

>>87843498
But she's not hanging yet in that picture.

>>87840603
I loved how blatant and unapologetic that was. It was just "Here are her tits, we're going to shove them in your face for the entire movie. Enjoy".

>>87843505
is that a female jaffa that cut off her emblem?

>>87843528
the implication is enough

>>87843498
???

>>87843541
i appreciated it. I thought they would be like most movies and show the goods in the trailers, but the actual movie only shows her for 5 seconds

Sorry shil but it was awful, no one is going to buy the bluray

>>87834097
I'll wrestle with you on account of the third but I absolutely agree it's much better than 4.

>>87843569
Quite a few asphyxiation lovers on /tv/ if you lurk the webm threads

>>87843505
Shit char, kinda glad they forgot she exists after a few scenes with her.

>>87843593
There's a difference between some asphyxiation stuff and literally hanging her though

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>>87843498
>>87840603
Her neck was made for it

>>87843593
but is this like "drop and neck snap" hanging or "dangle there strangling to death" hanging

>>87840415
The curse never breaks. The Dutchman must always have a captain. The ending of the third one was always bittersweet. Will and Elizabeth would only have been together again in the afterlife, which, thankfully, is proven to exist in this universe.

>>87843528
implication of peril is the most exciting part versus the end result
just like woman slowly taking her clothes off is much more hotter than the being fully nude

>>87834097
that guilotine scene legitimately made me lose my shit

rest of the movie was shit

>>87843719
The third film straight up said the reason Davy Jones and his crew were all fishy was because he had abandoned his duties as ferryman of the dead and gone to conquer the seas. So why was Orlando Bloom all fishy now, even though he was doing his duty as the new Davy Jones?

The third film even showed the crew members of the Flying Dutchman turning back to human.
Also it definitely implied he would be released from his duty after ten years of service. They retconned something fierce.

>>87840989
Soundtrack was shit, too. No notable melodies that stood out. Get this: The soundtrack CD is full with 30min of tracks that never made it into the film in the first place. The other half is filled with remixes of those songs. Angry And Dead Again is great.

>>87843831
I did laugh when he requested to be stoned instead because "it gets the crowd involved"

>>87843727
But would you like to see it followed through?

>>87843263
Well, Kaya is 29. Carina being in her early 30s and a womanchild is ok in my book.

>>87843916
She's 25, not 29.

Depp was legitimately drunk during filming wasn't he? I don't think it was acting.

>>87843505
legit thought it was Ariana Grande at first.

>>87843840

The original crew went all fishy because Jones was rightfully angry at being stood up by Calypso. He just didn't do his job anymore out of spite, then cut out his own heart and made that another layer added to his curse. If the original agreement between Jones and Calypso was ten years of service, then freedom, it got overwritten at this point by Jones' own addition. Will and the crew were re-humanised at the end of 3 because will was up to do the job. He went a bit barnacly over 20 years because while everyone was doing their job, they kept missing some 30odd Spanish pirate hunters stuck in an undead state in the Devil's Triangle.
Jones just never noticed those because he didn't care anymore and was already a fish. It's possible that Will kept looking for them but the Triangle's magic prevented the Dutchman from entering.

(Probably would have been better with the Dutchman being the pirate hunters' hunters.)

>>87844275
I thought the Dutchman was going to show up at the end so it would end with fish men vs ghost men. Then nothing happened with it.

>>87834097
They made an entire movie just to ruin the best character of the series.

The trailer was better than the movie.

>>87844012
yeah he was and he got fat

seems like they probably rewrote the flick just before shooting for jack to be a literal washed up pirate now after everythings gone to shit for him on the count thats how depp looked.

>>87844994
Yeah he was a total caricature now. I mean Jack was always wacky but he was also clever and cunning, like he regularly was acting weird just to outsmart everyone. In this one he was just totally drunk the whole time and borderline retarded.

>>87844736
Yeah. They even played Will's theme when Barbossa died. It was strange.

I was also surprised at how much I liked it.

But Lisa Simpson was such a terribly unlikeable character. You can really tell there was a studio executive hovering around saying they needed a strong female role model. She didn't need to be the smartest character in the entire series, all she really does is read a book. The plot only required her to be literate.

>>87845180
It was especially weird because they establish that Will's son knows everything about sea myths, but then he doesn't do anything to help the quest, she does it all.

>>87844789
Barbossa was not ruined and went out like a champ.

1>3>2>5>4

>>87845309
>3>2
hell no

What's everyone's problem with 3? I thought it was a great conclusion to the "trilogy".

>>87845804
It was dumb as fuck and tried to make it "epic" to ape the LOTR crowd.

Just watched it. Did Hollywood bullshit make you guys so numb you actually found this to be remotely good? This was one of the most formulated and boring movies I've seen in a while. All I could see was a studio check list being filled.

Introduce characters? Check
Female character is the smartest of them all? Check
Idiotic men think she's a freak because she's smart and learn to respect her in the end? Check
She's the love interest of the main pretty boy? Check
They hate each other at first but find out they're similar and fall in love? Check
CGI extravaganza to give dumb people the illusion they're watching something epic? Check
Villain tells his backstory to one of the main characters for no reason? Check
Moment when we think the heroes are fucked only to be saved at the last minute by some ex machina? Check
Last minute twist where we learn two of the main characters are relatives? Check
Character sacrifices himself for his relative? Check

It doesn't even feel like you're watching a movie, feels like a powerpoint presentation in some business meeting.

beginning was pretty entertaining with the Fast Five-esque sequence and that guillotine scene, but the rest of it was a shlock. Boring love subplot, Barbossa twist that handled poorly, Jack being useless for the whole time, underwhelming climax, etc etc.

Compare to the first three, the direction in this movie is nothing special, the visual and the cinematography are surprisingly bland.

What a fucking underwhelming sequel

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>>87845121
>played Will's theme when Barbossa died
If that is some subtle way to imply Barbossa takes over as captain of the Flying Dutchman, I ain't even mad.

>>87834097
any keira pics?

that could made me change my mind about illegaly downloading this.

>that horology jokes
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT RHYMES WITH WHORE, LET'S FILL IT FOR EXTRA 2 MINUTES RUNTIME

>>87846256
I think Rush is tired of the role
but him coming back like that would be nice, though now that the trident is gone I doubt it will happen

I enjoyed it quite a lot. It was a good cap to the series.

Are these paradigms of smart writing and storytelling? No. Acting? No. Action, comedy, or special effects? No (with the exception of he CGI - Davy Jones in 2006 looks better than a lot of CGI today). But it is one of the best "blockbuster" series of movies ever.

The characters are zany and fun, the action is exciting, there's enough spookiness to be interesting, and the setting is adventurous. The music is great - one of my favorite soundtracks. Because they're musically deep or complex? No. Because, like the movies, they're fun and exciting.

I enjoyed all five Pirates movies. They are very solid action fantasy films, and single-handedly proved the viability of the pirate genre. I'd love to see more, different pirate-themed movies. But they are just a ton of fun and manage to tug on you emotionally a little bit. Even in this latest one, when Elizabeth comes over the hill and embraces Will, it was a nice emotional moment.

So no - these aren't great films. But I'd argue they all fall from 6-7/10 which is quite solid, and I think people make a huge mistake writing them off.

And, like mentioned, one of my favorite movie themes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnHXRyabx2A

the opening with the kid and the flying dutchman as well as the end were some kino scenes

I cant remember a single fucking thing about the previous movie except that it had mermaids and the guy from deadwood, but if you look back this whole series is fun shlock

>>87845309
1>4>2>5=3

>>87834118
no space required, he says it like one world
>YAGSPARO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnAYHVXR0Hg

>I am a woman of SCIENCE, curses aren't real

>now help me find the trident of Poseidon by following this map in the stars

>>87845218
Yeah Will's son became totally useless once Carina joins in

>>87834118
i liked his design but he was sort of a broken record. yeah

what's the fucking point of that wedding scene?

>>87846387
Just give him a two minute scene where he saves Jack. They have some banter before dropping Jack off and he sails off into the sunset. Just enough to show he's still out there somewhere. Maybe Jack tries to get Barbossa to admit that he likes Jack, and Barbossa denies it outwardly but you can tell. I'm a sucker for the antagonistic pair are actually kinda buddies thing.
>though now that the trident is gone I doubt it will happen
Who cares? They can just ignore whatever inconveniences their plot like they always do.

>>87847211
kek

>>87846497
>It was a good cap to the series.
Except it had a damn sequel hook cliffhanger

>>87846040
>tried to make it "epic" to ape the LOTR crowd.
And they succeeded. What's wrong with that? The final battle in the maelstrom was incredibly exciting and a great finale for the story.

>>87847967
No, they did not succeed.

>>87835273
>the third movie was alright
Sure the fourth was terrible, but it was by no means worse than the third. That thing was absolute garbage, there were no redeeming qualities about it at all.

>>87848345
It's been years since I watched the third one. I always remember it as being a bit of a clusterfuck in terms of story, but still really enjoyable with good action sequences (which is all you should really expect from a Pirates film).
It gets a lot of hate on here which I feel isn't justified. Like I said though, been years since I saw it so maybe it's time for a rewatch.

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JYACK SBARRO

>>87835273
>Who the fuck was that pig guy?
Pig guy? Who do you mean, I don't recall anything like that

>what the hell are the rules of the villain?
The villains have been progressively shit and with nonsense powers. Barbossa was great and Davy Jones was even better, but Blackbeard was terrible. Suddenly there's this notorious bigshot that's been roaming the seas who we somehow never heard about before, and he can control the ropes on his ship to tie people up, and has a fucking massive flamethrower on his ship as well. It just made no sense at all and was clearly just done to make for "cool" scenes. But that stuff doesn't work if there's little or no explanation

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>>87834097
This movie is honestly a pretty cool action movie. Barbosa sacrificing himself was kino and Sullivan was really cool. My main gripe with the movie is fuckin Jack Sparrow just being a total retard the whole movie, literally every single one of his lines was a joke of some sort. I'd like to see them try these movies without Johnny Depp. I'm tired of that fuckin cokehead.

>>87834097
I still think PotC as a franchise has some life in it yet. They're not all fantastic examples of cinema at its best or anything, but all of them are worth a watch.
Swashbuckling fun, good production values, interesting setting etc. People generally think the series has gotten progressively worse and they may be right, but it's still a fun way to occupy yourself for two hours.
As far as I'm concerned they can keep pumping out more installments as long as Johnny Depp can keep doing them.

>>87834097
The beginning of the movie which introduced cursed barnacle Will was strange. We saw him and the Dutchman crew go back to normal in 3. Will abandoning his duties makes sense with the end credit scene though.

>>87850268
he was cursed cause salazar soul was trapped

>>87837387
>not liking Pirate of the Fast and Furious Caribbean.

>>87850001
>I'd like to see them try these movies without Johnny Depp. I'm tired of that fuckin cokehead.
Jack Sparrow is what makes these movies so great. I really, really doubt a PotC movie would work without Jack Sparrow as the main character. That said, Johnny Depp needs to sort his shit out and stop the alcohol and the drugs which massively fucked up scheduling and budget for the latest movie. And the writers need to look back at the first few movies and how Jack behaved back then because kinda like you said, the character has practically turned into a parody of itself.

>>87850306
I wish he would have shown up at the end to fight the ghost pirates, that would have been a spectacle. Especially with the water wall around the trident and the Dutchman's underwater capability.

>>87843202
davy jones fucking died, the fact that he came back to life at the end probably means that they're going to retcon that just like they did with the origin of the compass.


god everything in this movie was awful.

>>87849810
>pig guy?

hes probably talking about the random wedding scene thats in the movie for some reason.

he's a pig guy.

>>87850001
People say jack should be his normal clever self in 5, but I like the washed up drunk characterization. He has been a bum for 20 years now and him giving the compass away was great. They are foreshadowing Jack want something out on the ocean to redeem himself and I hope they finally wrap his story up.

>>87844994
>jack to be a literal washed up pirate now after everythings gone to shit for him
I like the idea of Jack becoming a pathetic sad sack after years of his plans falling apart. I don't think they handled it well. There should have been more of him being a burnt out and depressed drunk instead of still quipping and joking so much. He goes through the first half dull and depressed because his wit hasn't worked on anyone in a while. There could be some fantastical situation in the second half where a contrived improvisation of his actual works. Maybe because he unwittingly sobers up through the course of the movie

>>87850719
Oh yeah that does ring a bell. What the fuck was that about?

>>87850893
Yeah, it seemed to suggest he was going to go through some character development, but then he stayed the same and got everything handed back to him anyway.

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>>87834097

1>>>2>4>3>>5

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>>87846095

>It doesn't even feel like you're watching a movie, feels like a powerpoint presentation in some business meeting.

I had this exact thought while watching it. Are you me? Am I you?

My gf loves these films. Shall I dump her?

>>87840603
now imagine her post hanging

>>87851932
>wanking over the glorious tits of a dead woman hanging from a noose
You sick fuck. As if I didn't have enough fetishes already.

>>87851839
Nah do some roleplay with her. I bet she's fucking wet for Jack Sparrow like most girls seem to be. Just do the silly walk, take a swig of rum, get your dick out and say it works just like the magic compass and it's pointing at what you want most.
Thank me later.