Lads, I'm gonna cook up a sitcom about a movie theater.

The main cast tries to find out what movie theater butter ACTUALLY is

So are you gonna try to get this to an agent?

A dramedy about a bunch of failed filmmakers who pool money to open an arthouse movie theater that plays classics and cult films. We follow them through their struggles with dwindling audience numbers, pretentious hipsters and a rival theater across the street that shows only mainstream films. The main cast is 4 characters: all between the ages of 25 and 35, and all white. There's one girl but she works as a popcorn girl. Throughout the show we have several cameos of directors known for their love of cinema. First to mind would be Tarantino, who actually gets invited to the rival theater after they stage a "classics night". And our main guys are pissed because the rivals are stealing their schtick. So they try to invite a famous director, but they fail. Then, accidentally, Michael Bay wanders into their theater. And now the rival guys are jealous because they idolize Michael Bay. So there's a whole episode about them trying to subtly trade Tarantino for Bay but at the end of the episode both directors end up piss drunk and start a brawl.

>>87774018
Yes, it's never been done before, and I think there's a great deal of potential.

>>87774079
Cool. Then you know what you have to do...

write in Robert, Jules, and Lane

I thought Robert was on a vacation? He's back in the Kinoplex?

>>87773762
>4 main characters
>Ewan
>Eugene
>Ursula
>Under-foot

>Ewan is the hero, a tall guy who used to dream of being a secret agent. Now he works in a cinema and wears beige cargo trousers to work
>Eugene is Ewan's black friend. He feels constantly threatened by their coworker Robert because, as the only 2 black employees, he feels like everyone compares them. And Robert is an insanely perfect model employee
>Ursula is a roastie that Ewan spends all day trying to fuck. She spends most of her time flirting with customers and is naive to Ewan's feelings
>Under-foot is an Asian stoner girl with an enyclopedic knowledge of cinema. She dreams of one day being a film maker. Also she has a secret crush on Eugene but can't act on it cause her family's super racist

There you go, I just wrote your show

>>87773762
A main cast of six: Three Jews, a black, a white male, and blonde female. And a whole bunch of recurring characters and cameos reflecting the diversity of the area they are in.

>>87773762
Hey Robert! I'll take the usual jumbo popcorn, snowcaps and box of sour patch kids. Oh and a diet coke as well. Here's a $50 for all of it. And an extra $20 for your tip.

>>87774424
There are only about 777 Samaritans left and I doubt any of them are trained actors.

Who's this Robert that everyone is mentioning?

>>87774594
You have to go back.

>>87774741
No seriously, who is he? Google came up short. I can't know every fucking meme this place cooks up

>>87774843
Would you like to have Reddit on your popcorn, sir?

>>87774872
No, just answer please. I've been in this place on and off for half of my life so don't fucking call me reddit you piece of shit. I can't keep up with every autistic work of fiction that pops up out of the combined turd brain of this board

>>87774594
Crablegs

File: IMG_3002.jpg (452KB, 1000x1926px) Image search: [Google]

452KB, 1000x1926px

The show features a theater that starts out normal and gets slowly and progressively more surreal as the show progresses, just like /tv/ threads.

Episode 1: a no singles policy is imposed on a Valentine's Day special and attendance soars. The Kinoplex theater owners make it a weekly Saturday night event and debate expanding it to the whole week. Meanwhile, the main characters (think an IT Crowd/Workaholics/Silicon Valley group of local dropouts and orbiters) find their comfortable movie watching routines disrupted by the new policy, which also puts their beloved but struggling theater in contact with a large new crop of normies.
Episode 2: the gang tries different methods of getting around the new no singles policy. Stoner guy tries walking close to a trio of girls and pretending he's with them, but they turn out to be 13 year olds and their Mexican uncle chases him off. Big quiet guy chickens out, but a lady that turns out to be a tard wrangler mistakes him for a tard and lumps him in with the group. Weird geeky guy tries to distract the security with those snapping firecracker things so he can sneak in, but causes a fire by accident. Borderline skinhead but somewhat redeemable guy claims he's meeting someone inside and ends up accidentally asking the Jewish ticket swiper girl out by suggesting they see a movie together so he could get in. Renfair/fantasy nerd guy brings a falcon and accidentally poses next to a new Robin Hood movie diorama, making everyone think he's a promo for the movie due to his weirdly medieval looking garb. Everyone likes the falcon so much that the theater makes a special exemption for various assistance, disability, and therapy animals as movie partners.

Cont

Can't wait for the theatre shooter episode.

>>87773762
you have to put falcon jokes in it

>>87774988
He's the kinoplex guy in the pictures. His name tag says Robert but in most pictures you can't really see it.

>>87774072
Would watch

>>87775227
Sounds pretty kino desu, the show starting as a sitcom but turning into a giant /tv/ meme with Anvils and popcorn mines and manlet pits.

>>87774397
Sounds Big Bang theory tier

>>87774988

Wooft this embarrassing desu...
If you're not constantly up to date with every single board culture meme then you honestly need to take a short walk off a cliff. Please leave old man.

>>87775493
This

>>87775493
I honestly wonder how bizarre this board would look to an outsider.

>>87774072
I'd watch the hell out of that.

>>87775227

I like the idea of the "no singles policy" being the original catalyst for the madness. I think meme magic will soon make it real.

>>87775338
I'd unironically watch it if it subtly started slipping in /tv/ memes as the show progresses and after a few seasons you'd have your anvils and mines and inspections and showers etc

>>87773762
Make it about the employees in the Concession stand but then transition it to be about a gay teenage autist using psychic powers given to him by his rapist ghost sister to destroy a plot by his businessman brother that doesn't really exist because he was going insane the entire time

Interracial BMWF romance and sex scene

>>87775588
Who should be the cast?

>>87775493
>kinda get sick of /tv/ and don't come here for solid 6 months
>regret missing probably 300 forced memes in meantime
Should I just kill myself?

>>87775378
Thank you. It's so damn hard to get answers out of you autists sometimes. I know what it's like, not really belonging anywhere and then gatekeeping the only place you feel like home at. I've been there for about a couple of years. I forgot how deeply rooted it can get. Thankfully, I'm in a better place now.

>>87775721
Let's start with the basics.

Who would play Robert?

>>87775567
I shitpost here around my girlfriend sometimes
>Why do you keep posting that CIA guy?
>They never said nigger in spiderman
>Theater penis inspections?
She thinks we're all retarded

File: IMG_1991.jpg (45KB, 1000x750px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 1000x750px

>>87775736

Go an adventure, shitpost around the world from your phone. Absorb both real culture and 4chan culture. Create a solid, brilliant meme and force it hard til it sticks. Then....

>>87775800
I'm thinking Seth Gilliam

>>87775736
This board becomes unrecognisable if you leave for a week. I can't imagine 6 months
I want to say there was a resurgence of Vince-posting? And that was when Nootka-posting was really in its stride I think
And constant Colbert threads because that's when he started getting a load of attention

>>87775793


>Thankfully, I'm in a better place now.

Reddit?

>>87775793
Cool blog post. Where do I subscribe?

just make it It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia but with a movie theater instead of a bar

>>87775227
>Epsiode #143
>The kinoplex builds a moat around the cinema to keep the Mongols out
>But when the designated cinema shooter doesn't show up, a barrage of legal actions means that the money for the moat might be hard to come by

There must be an episode about the theater running out of crab legs.

>>87775917
No. I stopped regularly browsing any board or site like that. I just read critics, film related websites and watch movies. I sold my first short 4 years ago and since then I'm on set practically every hour of my life so not much time to browse.

>>87775935
philmetznerphoto.com

>>87773762

One word: singles policy

>>87776041

This isn't a drama. It'd be more appropriate to have an episode where the main character accidentally falls into the manlet pit. Hi-jinks ensues.

>>87775800
Idris Elba.

File: IMG_3001.png (884KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

884KB, 1920x1080px

>>87775227
Episode 3: crowds are big now at the Kinoplex, and a standoff with a deranged man carrying a banana that looks like a gun leads the theater managers to roll out new active shooter PSAs before movies. A typo in the script implies that there will be a designated shooter at every film, which the braindead ushers are unable to explain to theater patrons. One of them looks exactly like Stoner guy (Shaggy but with a soul patch and more rumpled hair). Meanwhile, geeky guy discovers the theater screen lights are on the same remote frequency, and starts to build a telescopic remote for clicking them off that looks more and more like a gun. Geeky guy and stoner guy go see the same showing of Arrival, but his makeshift remote accidentally fucks up the spotlights and he is found and thrown out. The usher who found him stuffs the remote into stoner guy's hands, mistaking him for the other usher. Faulty lights go back on during the PSA, spotlighting stoner guy, and he says without thinking "this is for one of you!", causing a panic.
Episode 4: the theater experiments with high end catering and trots out a full bar. The /pol/ guy finds himself stuck taking the Jewish girl on a date, and he tries to get out of it by ordering the only non-kosher meal - crab legs - to alienate her. Renfair/falcon guy is asked to do a promo in the local blockbusters-knockoff but keeps getting distracted, annoying the Pajeet dad running the store. Big quiet guy takes his bratty little sister and friends to see Divergent and she tries to bully him into buying them booze. At the bar/restaurant, they all meet and it turns out the girls pick on the Jewish girl at school. The /pol/ guy has a flashback to getting picked on in school and stands up for his unwanted date in the most misogynistic way possible and scares them off. It turns out the Jewish girl doesn't really care about the bigotry because he's the first guy who ever stood up for her like that before, and the two begin to bond.

>>87775999
>Episode #438
>The watch tower guards are on strike causing a sudden drop in executions and makes kinoplex morale drop drastically
>popcorn mines have a revolution and sabotage the penis inspection showers with brapjuice making them brap gas instead of water
>gang tries to survive the ensuing chaos and manages to barricade themselves inside the cuckold daycare
>rallying the cucks by tricking them into believing they are black bulls trough trickery, they get prepped and charge into the main kino to face the rebel miners
>it aint me plays over the speakers
>the gang is surrounded and about to fail
>just then a caravan of anvil merchants enters through the kinoplex gates and their armed enuch guards dispatch the miners
>Robert appears in a flash of lights and and laughs revealing it was all a test of their kino loyalty and holds a speech about the importance of loyalty, friendship and recites a recipe for buttered crablegs for the viewers