Anyone else got any fake patrician stories? >be me >at

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Anonymous
2017-09-09 01:39:44 Post No. 87500244
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Anonymous 2017-09-09 01:39:44 Post No. 87500244 [Report]

Anyone else got any fake patrician stories?

>be me
>at my local specialty video store
>looking at picking up Andrei Rublev and The Decalogue for some light weekend viewing
>qt 3.1459 walks in wearing a Pulp Fiction T Shirt
>”Plebeian” I mutter to myself
>she walks over and I get a glimpse of her hair that’s reminiscent of Shelly Duvall’s in 3 Women and turns to me
Tarkovsky! I heard he’s like Kubrick with Solaris, right?
>I’m immediately taken aback
Yeah, I guess if you think apples are like white pieces of dog shit. Kubrick is an overrated hack that’s work is appreciated by angsty teens and youtube movie critics who are afraid to admit they have shit taste beyond the last Star Wars. I mean, seriously? Tarkovsky at least had some soul to his work. Kubrick only had meme writing and autistic details.
>the qt gets a stern look on her face
Well 2001 is one of the best movies ever made.
>I tower over her, gaining strength as my ego causes me to float in mid air
>swarms of British Social Realism and Cassavetes films along with various out of print criterion DVDs surround and orbit me
2001 IS A DEEP NORMIE MOVIE WITH NO GREATER POINT. BARRY LYNDON IS FAR SUPERIOR
>the qt looks like Franz Biberkopf at the beginning of Berlin Alexanderplatz
>she begins to cry and cower in fear as my eyes shoot a beam of light powered by the gods of KINO, eviscerating her like the cop at the beginning of Repo Man
>Decide to get The Apu Trilogy instead
>mfw

Anonymous 2017-09-09 01:41:13 Post No.87500277
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Anonymous 2017-09-09 01:41:13 Post No.87500277 [Report]

>>87500244

>kubrick
>meme writing

finally someone who's woke

Anonymous 2017-09-09 01:42:45 Post No.87500318
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Anonymous 2017-09-09 01:42:45 Post No.87500318 [Report]

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>>87500244

>the qt looks like Franz Biberkopf at the beginning of Berlin Alexanderplatz

goddamnit my sides

Anonymous 2017-09-09 01:43:47 Post No.87500348
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Anonymous 2017-09-09 01:43:47 Post No.87500348 [Report]

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>>87500277

>being this tryhard

Anonymous 2017-09-09 01:43:54 Post No.87500354
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Anonymous 2017-09-09 01:43:54 Post No.87500354 [Report]

>fake
I dropped out of a workshop today
>Take film analysis workshop.
>Class of ten with woman lecturer who starts talking about plot development and hero's journey.
>"Implying I watch film for plot" I shout through cupped hands.
>Class glares at me.
>"two thousand and seventeen", I tell everyone
>Teacher tuts and starts discussing character development in the wolverine series.
>"Do you even watch?" I shout. "Go back to mew"
>Ginger man to my left tells me to shut up.
>"I bet you haven't even seen Malick or Pee-Tee-A" I tell him
>Class starts shouting at me, asking me to leave. It was all that ginger man's fault.
>I turn back to him
>"Your filthy pleb. I bet you watch superhero and Christopher Nolan films"
>He stands up and tells me to get out.
>"No," I said. "I'm the only real cinephile here. I don't watch for entertainment, you're just a fucking casual"
>He hit me right on the nose, the cartilage cracks, blood sprays over my desk.
>I get up and walk out, grinning to myself at how superior I am.
Filthy plebeians. I bet they're talking about Tarantino now.