Let's start a cozy late night Harry Potter thread. Which

What is Philosophy Class called in America?

>>87458610
Books:
3 > 4 > 1 > 7 > 2 > 5 > 6

Kinos:
3 > 6 > 1 > 8 > 2 > 7 > 4 > 5

don't care, came here just to wait for you-know-who pasta

>>87458689
No!

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Well, that's understandable. People want "safe". They want "comfy". They want "familiar". That's why they'll purchase blu-rays of films based on one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

3 > 1 > 2

>>87458722
Like clockwork, every thread there's some imbecile who feels the need to post the dullest copypasta in the history of copypastas. Seriously each thread about the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains is now indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy rhetoric, the pasta’s only consistency has been its lack of humor and ineffective use of repetition, all to make trolling unfunny, to make shitposting seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when anons vetoed the idea of using a different image each time: they made sure the pasta would never be remixed or worked upon? just ridiculously profitable cross-thread pandering for (You)s. The Harry Potter copypasta might be anti-kino (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-Banepost in its refusal of innovation, applicability and funniness. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>b-but it's board culture though

"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the pasta is terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time it is posted, the anon merely changes the first sentence. I began marking on the back of an envelope every time this was the only attempt made to contextualize it to the topic of the thread. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. /tv/'s mind is so governed by cliches and stale memes that it has no other style of shitposting. Later I read a lavish, loving review of the Harry Potter copypasta by a Redditor. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these anons are shitposting about Harry Potter on /tv/, then when they get older they will go on to make memes on Reddit. And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you use the "Harry Potter" copypasta you are, in fact, being trained to make Reddit memes.

>>87458610
OP's personal rankings:

Books:
1 (most likely due to nostalgia goggles)>3>5>2>6>4>7

Flicks:
3>5>6>1>2>7.1>7.2>4

>>87458661
>putting the 4th and 5th movies last
ultimate pleb

3 > 4 > 1 > 5 > 7 > 6 > 8 > 2``

>>87458722
>>87458808
You're fucking retarded lmao

When they finally eat the big christmas dinner it looks so amazing

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>>87458808
Perhaps the problem is because Rowling's magic world has no place for the numinous. It is written for people whose imaginative lives are confined to TV cartoons, and the exaggerated (more exciting, not threatening) mirror-worlds of soaps, reality TV and celebrity gossip. Its values, and everything in it, are, as Gatsby said of his own world when the light had gone out of his dream, ''only personal.'' Nobody is trying to save or destroy anything beyond Harry Potter and his friends and family.

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Hagrid is my favorite.

Harry should have fucked Luna.

>>87458610
>What would you change in any of them.

Remove the fucking time turner.

>>87458653
Sorcery. Duh.

>>87458722
i only come to these threads to make sure it's still being posted

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SLAY QUEEN

STRONK LEFTIST PROPAGANDIST WIMIN CHECK IN

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Not gonna deny that the first 3 Harry Potter movies are really great.

with Sorcerer's Stone being the comfyest

>>87458722
based dullposter

>>87460162
best Harry Potter poster ever. So much nostalgia. This one was also used as a cover of the first Harry Potter soundtrack. Great memories

comfy stuff here folks

>>87458610
>book
1st probably. Dropped after 3.
>movie
3
Less realism, more whimsical magic.

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>>87458722
you're doing god's work anon

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>>87458610
Make sure you get yourself some nice, hot 'za to go along with it the next time you want to take in a boy wizard flick.

no offense, but

1=2=3=4=5=6=7=7.5

>>87458610
I cant watch this movie without thinking about wizard people, dear reader

>>87458824
4th and 5th were when they went full angsty grimdark teen flicks. 6th brought back the whimsy and humor.

Garbage for liberal pansies

>>87458653
Philosophy, but they don't teach it to children

>>87462025
KIDS IN THE ADULT BOOKS

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>ywn get sorted and have your new house cheer and welcome you to the tables when your house is called
>ywn hang out with your pals in front of the fire on a snowy winter evening in your common room
>ywn cheer your quidditch team on decked out in your house colors
>ywn spend the holidays in a cozy castle/come home for the holidays and freak your parents out telling them all the dangerous shit you do at school
insert cringey facebook "MY HOGWARTS LETTER GOT LOST IN THE MAIL" meme

>>87458610
I wanna facefuck young hermione until she pukes, and then I'd make her eat it off the cold stone floor. I'd use the puke as lube to fuck her asshole then I'd make her lick the shit off my dick.

>>87463807
WTF dude!!!

>>87462025
The best thing Neely ever did.

>>87463807
ur twisted this is a wholesome thread

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>>87458722
dullposting

what's everyones houses. I want to be a slytherin but I'm not ambitious or cunning at all. pretty much my only positive trait is that I know a lot of useless bullshit and like to read so I guess I'm a ravenclaw.

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>>87459041
>Hagrid shows them some of the most amazing creatures in the world.
>Harry and company think it's lame and drop the class the instant they can.
None of those kids deserved him.

7.1 was kino and the second best film in the series.

>>87464026
Hagrid probably wasn't the best teacher but it's still a class where you get to see wild magical beasts up close.

>>87464026
tfw no buckbeak

>>87462549
There was a philosophy class for seniors in my high school, but it was only a half-credit. It was for that International Baccalaureate program. I took it; it was essentially like having a period to chat about stuff. Sat in a circle every day, no tests, just one paper due at the end.

I think I need to stretch my legs

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>>87458902
>a bunch of classic kinos
>Avatar

does anyone else think the third is absolute shit and doesnt understand why it gets so much praise?
It introduced all that faux edginess in the harry potter universe that made it so shit
1,2 and 7.1 are the only good HP films

The thing about the whole "Sorceror's Stone" thing is it's not like they tried to market it under the original title and American audiences revolted in confusions. It was a single decision made by some unknown marketing executive/business major who had probably personally never read a book whose title didn't begin with "7 Habits" and this decision ended up being blamed on an entire continent.

>>87463949
>wholesome
her assshole will be holesome after i'm done with it

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>>87458722
I still don't get the purpose of these posts. Are they supposed to be funny? Are they supposed to trigger HP fans? All it seems to do is get a couple of "I only came here for this pasta" and some people taking a humorous stab at the book tiers.

>>87464229
Avatar is actually the best movie there.

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Why has there not been a good modern HP video game? You have to admit, if there was a well made harry potter RPG that let you explore hogwarts, hogsmeade, diagon alley etc that would be a dream come true

The only harry potter games that come out anymore are the shitty lego games

I remeber thinking this game was amazing as a kid. I should download it and play it again

>>87464435
You should play the order of the phoenix, you get to explore hogwards and get into magical duels, its pretty fun

>>87464435
Apparently, there was a proposal to make a huge HP game in which you create a character and go through all 7 years of school. JK Rowling shot it down because she wanted any HP game to solely focus on the main characters.

>>87464565
What?? that's so stupid, fuck JKR. I've wanted a game like that for so long.

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>>87464565
holy FUCK That pisses me off

rowling is such a dumb fucking cunt what kind of bullshit is that. Every little kid that read harry potter dreamt of getting a letter and she takes away the closest thing we could ever have.

Seriously the HP setting for an RPG is GOAT. Fuck that ruined my night

>>87458661
>Azkaban and Half-Blood Prince are at the top

Hot damn. I've never been in a HP thread before but this is my exact opinion.

Chamber of Secrets can suck a fat one, though and I put it at the bottom right next to 8.

>>87464727
Chamber of secrets introduces so many cool elements to the series: Pureblood supremacy, muggle born discrimination, dark magic etc etc

Books:
2>1>3>7>4>5>6

>>87464435
If there were a new Harry Potter game it certainly wouldn't be a movie tie-in and would likely be a cartoony Telltale game. God, I hate Telltale "games".

>>87464783
True, but overall I just don't find it entertaining.

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>>87464682

Really a shame

The closest thing you'll have for a roleplaying game is the G-Mod Harry potter game

>>87458610
8. GOF
7. POA
6. HBP
5. OOTP
4. DH1
3. COS
2. DH2
1. SS

I would change the fact that John Williams didn't do the music for all of them. God damn those first 3 soundtracks were good!

>>87464435
Grow up you anti art cancer or go back to /v/

>>87458902
Que el fucko?
Did you miss the part where Lord Baldybutt is trying to kill a shitload of people and take over the government via acts of terrorism???

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>>87462884
>ywn hang out with your pals in front of the fire on a snowy winter evening in your common room
This one hurts me on a deeper than spiritual level. It rips into the very fucking thought of my existence and just shits all over it.

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>>87464435
Chamber of Secrets and Prisoner of Azkaban on console were very fucking good imo, I spent hours exploring the castle.
I really do wish there was a solid RPG though.

>>87464565
mfw

>>87464565
Betting she just didn't want to have to flesh out the world more. Use the main characters because we already know those stories. A full school simulator might require her to spell out what some of the classes we hear about but never see are actually like.

>>87464435
>play SS on GC
>it's total dogshot

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>>87460162
>You will never watch this movie again in theaters for the first time

>>87464312
dumb frogposter

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>>87465319
me too :c

>>87466928
>>87465319
some weeb could make millions off a hogwartz vr

>>87466781
If you have kids you might see the remake

>hagrid is poor as fuck and lives in a shitty hut
>has the money to buy alcohol by the barrel to get his half-giant ass drunk
>had harry's key to gringotts for years
he was stealing money, wasn't he?

>>87467050
He can't get into Harry's vault with just the key and probably was only given it that afternoon.

Books: 3>1>2>6>4>7>5

Movies: I liked the first 2. Everything afterwards just felt meh. The fourth one was the worst paced and the fifth was a pleasant surprise. Rest of the series felt like it was on auto pilot at that point.

>>87463807
Witch Trainer was a great game. Loved corrupting Hermione.

>>87464312
Most people come here only to be slightly amused by the same memes.

Books:

6>7>5>4>3>1>2

Movies (though mostly shit)

1>2>3>4>>>>>>>>>>>7>>5>>>>6

>>87458722
The day this stops being posted, I'm ordering a replica of Voldemorts wand online, and then killing myself with it.

>>87458610
>tfw the HP Houses also fit the Bartle types

>Slytherin
Killer

>Gryffindor
Achiever

>Ravenclaw
Explorer

>Hufflepuff
Socializer

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who /huff le puff/ here

Reminder that JK Rowling is a massive SJW.

>>87467356
I've actively not been paying attention to anything she says for more than a decade since she seems pretty determined to ruin her own series retroactively.

>>87467167
>Witch Trainer
>turning hermione into a big breasted slut
>completely missing the point of her appeal

wow it's fucking garbage.png

>>87467598
So you didn't know Nigel Farage and UKIP are now Death Eaters?

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>>87458610
>mfw i watched the 1st harry potter movie 3 times in theatres because I had a crush on Ron

>>87464254
"No"

>>87467050
Dumbledore probably pays him pretty well, he just spends all his money on booze.

The first Harry Potter film was the only truly marvellous one; the lighting, the cinematography, the acting, the score, and the narrative were masterfully weaved together. Even if it was just a children's film, there was a tremendous amount of heart, and character within it. Watching it and being part of the zeitgeist as a small child may have impacted my views of it, but I digress.

tfw I fell asleep in the cinemas during the chess scene and woke up at the farewell scene with Hagrid and Harry on the train

Books:
They're all shit

Films:
1>3>2>the rest

>>87467356
I'd still show her my wand, if you know what I mean

>>87464312
It normally only triggered /lit/ tbaich

>>87468961
Chris Columbus was the only director the films ever had that seemed to really value making the world feel magical.
There was so much in those first 2 that really emphasized how unique and exciting the wizarding world was. He always focused on the fun little things and his cinematography was really fantastic and among some of the best I've ever seen. Wrap up that magical little universe with a John Williams ribbon and you've got a timeless classic.

I get bored around 5 movie, didn't even see last 3 until much later, last book also was meh, but I will never forget that as a 8 years old kid I almost piss my pants from excitement wen they show Hogwart for the first time.

>>87458610
reminder that 3 literally has a massive shit writing as a teacher like mcgonagall literally gives a 13 year old student a dangerous time travel device simply for the sake of attending more than 1 class at once

>>87458808
10/10

>>87466781
>those feels
I remember my mom taking me out of school to see it

>>87461889
I'm extremely offended

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I'm sure you'd like to have a cozy thread about the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
a-at least the books were good though
"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>87464026
Why did Harry name his son after the teacher who spent 7 whole years making his life a living hell and abusing him constantly instead of after the man who nurtured him and looked out for him all the time?

Hagrid was a saint.

>>87458722
>>87473793

>atlas shrugged
>god tier

>>87458661
Holy shit, are you me?

>>87460151
stop shilling Trump you kike

>>87458661
>>87458731
>>87458818
>>87458824
someone explain to me why people like the third book so much, I never thought much of it

I'm sick of Americans calling it the "Sorcerer's Stone". It's the Philosopher's Stone.

>>87467313
The original, or the Elder Wand that looks like a bunch of anal beads on a stick?

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>>87458722
Every time. Every fucking time.

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>>87458610
Gib harry potter stream pls

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Books
6>5>4>3>2>1>7
Films 5 6 7.1 are underrated as fuck

>>87464039
Are you me? Great taste anon.

>>87464254
No. Also all of them are good. It is a legit franchise.

>>87464026
>many people from Ministry of Magic works hiding magical beast from muggles acording to Fantastic Beast
>class is some optative shit no one wants
Great writing skills, JK

>>87458902
most of the oldies are considered shit outside of america, but one thing catches my eye nevertheless. why the fuck is avatar there?

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First for Harry fucked up and should have hooked up with Hermione instead of Pleb Tier Ginny

Books 4>6>2>1=3=7>>>>>>5
Movies 6(minus that one weird part at the end where it cuts like 6 times in 2 seconds)>3>1>4>7>8>5>2
Music 3>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>the rest

It always makes me giggle how Harry was supposed to be tall and Ron very tall but Dan and Rupert grew up to be manlets kek. It could've been worse, one of them could've ended up a full foot taller than the other two which would've probably made framing awkward.

>>87474280
They're probably influenced by the third film which is by far the best one. The book was forgettable.

>>87477948
>by far
It isn't since they are different they do what they each all do very well. It's one of the best but 5 6 7 are great too.

>goblet of fire book is top tier
>goblet of fire movie is absolute trash

>>87477613

>he went for Ginny because she resemble his mother most

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>>87464964
"You wanna roll with Harry Potter?"

>>87479340
This.
Goblet of Fire is my favorite book in the series, but they totally failed to capture the spirit in the movie.
Cut out a lot of intriguing world-building, went too dark too soon and the pacing seems to be all over the place.
And don't even get me started on that weird tongue-flicking shit.

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>>87458722
>"No!"
literally never fails to make me fucking lose my shit