we ain't had nuffin but lord of the rings thread for

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*blocks your path*

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>I am no gender
Jackson was ahead of his time. Truly a visionary

I literally just got done watching the trilogy on a whim. Now im seeing LOTR threads popping up everywhere. Am I in the matrix?

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>tfw you'll never get to see a high budget lotr production by PJ where they recreate the menu/maggoty bread-scene except that instead of devolving into fighting it turns into a gokkun/bukkake scene where the uruk-hai force the smaller orcs to swallow and snowball gallons of uruk cum and then the rohirrim come and they join in on the action too and sometimes when the camera shifts to another angle you can see merry and pippin suck each other off slightly in the background

WHY WAS I BORN IN THIS TIMELINE, JDIMSA

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>>87415960

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RIDE

RIDE NOW

RIDE FOR RUIN

AND THE WORLDS ENDING

>>87415222
NYEEEAAH

WHY CANT WE HAVE SOME SNEED?

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be Feanor
>make the most beautiful gems ever in all of existence
>so beautiful Satan himself comes to steal them
>get mad, swear the most terrible oath that will ever be sworn in the history of the world
>former allies and friends are like "cool down bro, you're not thinking straight"
>kill them and steal their boats
>cross the ocean, get to the other side and burn the boats because this train has no brakes
>takes my entire people on a rampage all the way to the gates of Angband
>personally fight my way so deep into the enemy ranks I end up soloing nine Balrogs at once
>finally get struck down by Gothmog, lord of Balrogs
>my (many) children carry my dying body from the battlefield
>make them swear they nor their children nor their children's children will rest until we get those fucking gems
>set fire and blow away as ashes on the breeze as I die because of how FUCKING ANGRY I AM

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Why didn't Aragon just used a Tax policy in trade to destroy Sauron fiancailly?

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>>87416381

Kys

>>87418613
Because Sauron controlled all the trade routes.

>>87415222
hahahahahahahahHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I KNOW THIS MEME FROM /V/////////// ITS WHERE YOU TAKE A QUOTE FROM A GAME THEN SPOILER THE TEXT WITH THE THREAD NAME IN THE QUOTE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>87419165
autism

>>87415562
There's pretty much always a LOTR thread on this board

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>yfw Sauron was an orc right's activist trying to find a safe home for them away from their volcanic wasteland
>yfw Aragorn and the fellowship were racists who genocided orc babies and were the real villains all along

Was Tolkein ahead of his time in reversing fantasy tropes?

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>...they don't need those

What did he mean by this?

Pretty depressing that Fellowship was made 16 years ago and yet the genre hasn't broken out with multiple high quality adapations or original works. We've literally had what? LoTR and then GoT tv show. When is holywood going to get their shit together and release some abitious beautiful unique movies?

Why haven't they made a Sabriel/Abhorsen movie?
Or a Magician/Rift War series?
What else is missing lads? What's some good fantasy series that should've been made into movies/shows 5 or 10 years ago?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liCMDsjrCU8

>>87419485
Tolkien literally invented the fantasy genre

>>87419525
the His Dark Materials miniseries is going to save the genre

>>87419558
im stawvin

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>mfw Sam wants to share the load

>>87419525
>Why haven't they made a Sabriel/Abhorsen movie?

Would be great.

>>87419558
How do orcs know what a menu is?

>>87419744
Who would you cast?

>>87419890
Idris Elba

>>87416773
Be Elf
>get cucked

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AAAAAHHHH SAVE ME GANDALF

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>>87416218
DEATH

>>87419890
Any actress who looks like Amy Lee from Evanescence?

>>87420077
you would think the white wizard would know a levitation spell

>>87419525
You really want to see them butcher Feist's books? Remember the shitty Sword of Truth tv series? Or the Shannara one? Or GoT post season 2?

Is anyone else really bothered that Jackson reduced Sauron to being a giant disembodied eye on top of a tower? One of my favorite parts in the book is the section with the Mouth of Sauron because it makes Sauron feel like a real threat; he sends a guy out to negotiate, taunt, and offer terms to a foreign army, and the Mouth keeps talking about how he has to report back to his boss. It really made Sauron feel like a tangible threat, and not the vague presence he was in the movies.

THESE ASSETS ARE TO BE TRANSFERRED TO SARUMAN INC., PACKAGED AND FULLY VALUED.

>>87420298
I don't remember Sauron having a corporeal form in the books. I do remember descriptions of the evil eye though.

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>>87416773

>>87419558
LITERALLY in tears at the volume jump at GET A FIRE GOING o I am laffin

>>87420182
Surely there's a competent director floating around that would like to put their mark on the industry by making a good film like Jackson did? Is the industry just too fucked as a whole

>>87420298
Isn't it exactly the same in the book? Or do you mean that in the movie the eye doesn't really do much whereas in the book it's obviously directing & talking to its generals etc? Didn't post Last Alliance Sauron teach the orcs how to act like a proper army or something? (Metal work, siege craft etc)

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>>87415510
Book:

>But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.”

Movie:

>"I AM NO MAN *autistic screeching*

Bravo Peter

>>87420446
>do you mean that in the movie the eye doesn't really do much whereas in the book it's obviously directing & talking to its generals etc?
Yeah, that's exactly what I mean. In the books it's really obvious that he exists and is actively involved in the war.

>>87420414
Off the op of my head, it's implied that Sauron personally tortured Gollum and Gollum says he has four fingers. The Mouth also talks about his boss sitting in the tower, and how he speaks directly to him. I never got the impression he was supposed to be a disembodied eye, the eye is just his symbol.

>>87420799
I remember Frodo seeing the see in his mind. I mean Sauron never shows up in the books so I think Jackson handled his depiction pretty well. The audience needs something visual.

>>87420635
>In the appendices it's implied Gandalf drove out Sauron from Dol Goldur with the aid of Saruman
>In the Hobbit movies Galadriel one shots Sauron by herself

BRAVO HACKSON!

>>87416773
>>cross the ocean, get to the other side and burn the boats because this train has no brakes

fucking lol'd

>>87416773
>>set fire and blow away as ashes on the breeze as I die because of how FUCKING ANGRY I AM

I don't get it. How does one fight nine giant monstas and not come out already burnt and smashed to a crisp?

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APOLOGIZE

>MFW the vanguard auto rifle

Probably the only reason to do strikes is for coins to get this.

It's Shingen from vanilla Destiny but legendary and with the range of a scout rifle.

>>87419614

Homer invented Fantasy

>>87415562
Baader-Meinhoff complex or 'frequency illusion;

>>87422731
There is no Homer, only Zul.

>>87422731
>mythology didn't exist before 800BC

MORGUL RAT

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quick. List literally ever female who appeared in the lotr trilogy