>A cheap whore like you actually having standards? I agree,

>>87225608
comes off as too bitter and butthurt. all you'd get is a stare from the crowd and the hosts, then berated for saying some shit like that when she was only '''joking'''

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who won in the end?

>>87225669
the one who isn't a frog

>>87225608
should have said
>"can't take 3 huge dicks at once eh?"

>You'd be shit out of luck, unlike me Leo has standards.

>>87225906
>oh yeah i bet he WOULDN'T fuck you! haha
yeah that's a real good one

>>87225608
You finally did it. This is literally the only acceptable response. Shame Jonah didnt have a year to figure this out.

What was going through Miles Teller's mind?

literally the only possible response other than laughing it off would be to do something cool like a backflip

>>87225656
I disagree. This is like the judo of comebacks. She uses her sex and his physical appearance as a jab, and he throws that insult back in her face by conceding his unattractiveness and humiliating her for being a loose woman, by her own admission. He does all this, while maintaining the whole theme about her fantasies. Maybe the word whore is a bit strong for television, maybe he should say hussy instead, but the message of this comeback is impossible for her to counter. He just needs to keep the tone of his voice playful and relaxed while delivering it, like Gregory House, and it would be an instant KO.

>Leo and Brad Pitt huh? So you want a taste of the Hollywood life hmm? Well, you don't deserve that. You deserve shit
>At this point Jonah jumps out of the chair, crawls over to the French girl and tackles her
>They wouldn't want you, my dear. You aren't even good enough to be a 10$ backpage whore. No, you'll be my virgin fart slave
>Jonah's crushing weight is too much for the weather girl, she is no match. He sits his 350 lb, dingle berry infested ass on her face
>"Ya know I tried some of your local cuisine, it didn't really sit right HAHAHA."
>*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPT*
>her screams of broken English are muffled by his layers of fat
>"NOOO STOP, STINKY."
>*BRAAAAAAAAPT*
>"Yes, breath it in my dear, that's the only taste of the Hollywood life you will ever experience!"
>*b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bbbrrrrrraaaa-a-a-aaa-aaa-aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA̯̩͜A̱̹͉͙͈Ạ̞̞͉A̖̯͚͍͙̘A̱͡A̱̟̼̖̥Á̩̜͍̳AAA̗A̝͇̩̪̺̱̹A͖̦͚͔̘͇͢AA̸͙͇͔̭̻A̱̗͇̳̱A̷̜̻͓̘A̦̖ͅA͎̖̳̮͕̜̟̕A̦͕͈̰Ạ̫̟̣̣̥̀AA̡A̱͔A̟̘͇̯͎̣͙Ả̺̼̮̝͕͊́̽A͍̥͈̦͚ͪ̓ͦ̚A̓͆̄̍ͯ̇̀͢Ȃ̩͉̀ͤ̈́̓̂͂A͂͑͗͗͒͐A̫͇̯̭͑̏̆͜Ȃ̫͛ͮǍ̗͕̱̝͖A̶̗͚͎͇̭̼͋͛̾A͓ͭ͐͂Å͔̘̗̤ͬ͋̾́ͫͩ͘A̠͑̊́̆̉̋Àͨ̀̇͟AA̦̩̿̑͗̓Ȁ̠̱͂̍̃̂̀A̷̩̽ͧͬ̑ͫ̒̈A̮̓A̼͙̱̩͋͌ͪ̏ͫ̑Ȃ̱͓͕̣̬ͅA̡̼̳͈̰̱ͩA͎̺̱̼̼̘ͩ̍͆A̦̙ͨȦ̘̻̯̠́ͅA̷̙̮̥͖͚̦ͣ͑̏ͯ̿̓̐̃̓͗̋̒̍͌͜Ą̴̛͉̪͉̗̼̖̮̝̫̳̱̰̣̙̙̋ͮͦ̿̈̂̔̀A̧͍̫̘͓͓̼̬̗̪̻̹̺̮̖̠̫̠̗ͧ̿ͬͭ͛̓̔ͩ̔͌ͬ͊ͭ͜Ȃ̧̛̠̤̖͖̠̳̪͖̺̱̳͕̬̻̥̙͇ͫ̄̔̽̓̕̕A̧̛͈͕̱͔̥͉̟͉͚̹̩̭ͯ̈̆̾͒͊͂́͡͞A̵̜͙̫͓̗̙̺̙̬̝͓̩̭͍ͭ͂̊ͪ͐͆̎ͫ͝ͅA̵̵̛̪̩̙̘̺͖͖͍̰̫͑̍͆̌̍ͯ̌͂́ͬ̒͒̐̀͆̚À̛̜̱̹̏̀͛ͬͯͮͣ̈͞͝͝ͅA͕̮̯͉̐ͣͣͪ͗ͧ͐ͦͪ̎̀

>>87226300
or do something that completely shifted everyones attention like talking about terror attacks in a frank manner.

>>87225608
>why don't you take a long walk on a short pier

"I don't really get the impression that you have standards"
would be more biting and I can actually hear it in his voice.

>Leo prefers funny women

captcha: ding pizzeria...close enough to bazinga

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>>87226339
>Maybe the word whore is a bit strong for television, maybe he should say hussy instead

>>87225608
The only real response is to pull a Tom Cruise
>"Why would you say that?"
>"No, really. Why?"
>"I take time out of my busy schedule to come to your nothing studio and answer your questions and you insult me?"
>"What's your problem? Why would you do that?"
Completely derail the interview and put it all on her.

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>>87225608

>Well of course I'd leave, a pimp never stays around to watch a hoe get fucked

>>87226232
my sides

>>87226482
In what way is that a fedora thing to say? Is hussy fedora now?

>>87226486
>honhonhon we french that's what we do screw you americains

>>87225608
>>87225762
>>87225906
>>87226339
>>87226449
>>87226486
>>87226506
A fat man cannot defeat a beautiful woman. It's against the laws of physics.

When will /tv/ neckbeards except this?

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>>87226557
>Is hussy fedora now?

>>87226590
>A fat man cannot defeat a beautiful woman
sure he can
Jonah is a rich dude starring in Hollywood movies.
he could fuck 10/10s everyday if he wants to, why would he care what some random stinky thinks about him?
like, its her loss at the end. go and be the weather cunt while he chills on a yacht with escorts and hoes sipping champagne out of a 10/10s butthole.

>>87226590
perhaps a jingle of coin will change your offer?

>>87225608
>and my fantasy is to see you wearing a burka in the streets of paris under sharia law while I leave this shithole of an islamic country for the land of the free.

Done. Subtle yet vicious.

>>87226666
checked
he still got butthurt though

Footage?

>>87225608
>Are you proud of that?
>You spent all afternoon (morning) thinking of some way to burn me, and all you managed to say was "i'm a whore."
>Alright. Be quiet and let us adults talk about something not everyone knows.

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>>87226666
>Jonah is a rich dude starring in Hollywood movies.
he could fuck 10/10s everyday if he wants to, why would he care what some random stinky thinks about him?

>>87226622
I don't know, I don't visit reddit.

>>87226590
tell that to harvey weinstein, if it was him that recieved the insult, he'd literraly start stroking himself on live tv and spunk on her face with no permission

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>>87226739
be gone miscreant

>>87226759
Fatanons have such a bizare concept of 'winning'. baka

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>>87226784

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>>87226759

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>>87226892
I said good day

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>>87227108
I would really prefer if you would be quiet.

why didnt he just play along with it then later hire a hitman to track her down and he abducts her and brings her to your dungeon where you tie her up and insert every insect known to man in her vagina will you piss and shit on her face ?

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>Who do you think you are? I am worth $30 million. Can you even imagine what having that much money is like? Is that even conceivable in your tiny brain? How much are you worth? Oh what's that, not even $1 million? Do you think you get to talk to me like that? Well think again. My face is currently carrying the conviction of a mature adult laughing as he plays with the emotions of an unknown french comedian. A nobody. You think you can phase me? Even the very thought is ridiculous. I could crush you with a single phone call if only I could be bothered. That's how little you mean to me. I'm planning on having my agent make a copy of this interview so that me and my rich and famous friends can rewatch it as we drink our expensive wine. We're gonna rewatch it as many times as we please so that it can bring us endless laughs. Not that you would understand what having friends is like. It occurs to me that in years time when you've hit rock-bottom because of your actions today that I'll have no way of seeing you writhe in pain. While upsetting, I'll get over it. This interview is over.
*violently rips off lav mic*

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>>87227365
>it's a fat slob thinks money somehow doesn't make them physically repulsive response

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>*pulls out glock*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. EVERYONE ELSE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You disgusting whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. And start taking off your clothes as you do it. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Be thankful, I'm about to make you a star..."

>>87227480
God I love this pasta . Would love to meet the creator.

>>87227480
>>87228326
samefag

>>87227480
>>87228326
>>87228418
Not them but I genuinely love it too. Brava to the anon that crafted it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=771omE_ZJ78

>>87228623
Samefag

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>*unsheathes .44 Magnum*
>*she shrieks*
>*audience abruptly stops laughing*
>*dead silence*
>I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you with this .44 Magnum pistol.
>*click*
>*audience gasps*
>A .44 Magnum pistol, I'm gonna kill you with this gun. Did you ever see...
>*chuckles*
>...did you ever see what a .44 Magnum pistol can do to a woman's face? I mean it will fucking destroy it. Just blow her right apart. That's what it will do to your face. Now..
>*points gun to her crotch*
>*she starts hyperventilating*
>...did you ever see what it can do to a woman's pussy? That you should see. That you should see what a .44 Magnum's gonna do to a woman's pussy you should see
>*points gun away*
>*faces audience while walking around*
>*french girl is crying*
>I know, I know you must think I'm...you know, you must think I'm pretty sick or somethin', you know, you must think I'm pretty sick. Right?
>*fires shot in the air*
>*audience is panicking*
>You must think I'm pretty sick? Hmm?
>*starts laughing*
>Right? I'll betcha, I'll betcha you really think I'm sick, right?
>*fires another shot*
>You think I'm sick?
>*laughs*
>*fires another shot*
>You think I'm sick? You don't have to answer that...
>*fires several shots*
>points gun at french girl's head
>I'm the interviewer now. You don't have to answer that.

>Now I know what you're thinkin'. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?"
>*french girl is sobbing hysterically*
>*she just pissed herself*
>Well do ya, punk?
>*french girl screams*
>*pulls trigger*
>*silence*
>*chuckles and walks away while audience is stunned*

>>87225669

He still looks like shit so she was right.

Just laugh it off.
>>87226486
This is also an option.

>>87231616
Why are you projecting you insecure cuck? Clearly you are one of those faggots who say "cringe" when uncofta

>that is so sweet that you think Leo would take a bullet for me like that

>>87231861
>>87231616
There's clearly a way to comeback like a swag Lord. This guy is just sad he wasn't born with a pussy.

Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!

>>87225608
>you fokin wot m8, l'll hook ye in the gabber u cheeky dawg

>>87227480
HAHAHHAHAHAHA

>>87232328
>nothing
Yea for you because you are a brainlet. There's a whole world of counters. These tv faggots didn't even listen to what he said, it was perfect, he said that it was great that he gets to get berated by the local weather girl, it's actually perfect, if it weren't a frog/swamp audience it would have killed. He was self effacing but still highlighted that she's a two bit nobody and is worth nothing in stature. Lmao he checkmated, he was just unlucky he was in garlic village

>people still triggered months later
What did she even say again? A fat joke or something?

>>87232505
Kek this

>>87232668
"They only touch 10's"
"Have you seen me with clothes off?"
"They're only into females, unfortunately, trust me I tried"

That's a small list of quick 10/10 quips

Fuck off

>>87232968
*my clothes off

>>87232968
>>87232998
>all 10/10
Well done

>That was a lot of words to call yourself a whore.

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No you think its funny you think it's all a big fucking joke but this is why we're here.. we don't need to be here, we're here to try and sell the movie, we're not here to be your fucking friend don't laugh like your my friend ok i would knock your fucking teeth out of your dumb fucking french skull. you know what, fuck no don't, don't fucking calm me down dude we do this all day I'm fucking tired i wanna go home, i have other shit i wanna do too, I'll fucking go over there and rip your fucking hair out of your head if you don't shut up, know why I'm stressed out cuz I'm on Atkins i haven't eaten shit all day because every fucking reporter comes here and asks me what it feels like to be unattractive and I gotta sit here and i fucking wanna kill you right now my dream is to get out of this chair and knock the teeth out of your head.

>>87225608
All he would had to say is that none of them would have showed up because she is a nobody and they are all movie stars and left it there.

Jonah Hill is an American treasure. He doesn't have to take this abuse, he should have just walked out on that french cunt and her shitty interview and those ungrateful french faggots. No one gives a fuck about you retarded french surrender monkeys. The only thing you're good for is watching american movies and making us rich. Fucking french losers. Jonah deserves respect not that I would understand french retarded children to understand. You are sad France, really sad. You do not deserve our movies. You deserve nothing.

>>87225608
>I don't think they'd be interested in a mean girl like you
>[dramatic pause]
>HAHAHAHAH I'M BULLSHITTING YOU

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>>87233796
OUTTA MY WAY FRENCHSHITS

I like to think he had a million quips ready in that moment, but he chose the better path

can sombody link me pls

>>87234157
>>87233796
>>87233705

This right here >>87232505

>>87234193
Sure no prob mate. Here:

>>87234193

>>87234312
source me the vid i meant

>>87234424
How difficult it is to search "jonah french joke"? Huh? Are you new to the internet?

>>87234493
very you fat fuck

>>87233975
deviantart tier sense of humour there

>>87225656
True. If anything, is way worse of saying nothing. The coverage would have been MISOGYNISTIC WHITE MALE CANT TAKE FUNNY JOAK FROM WITTY WOMAN

>>87225906
We have been here for over a year and I think we might get something with this angle. She is hot but not Leo-worthy hot

>>87226339
Nah. No chance. Needs to be hot to get away with it

>>87226365
"We have civilization under attack and you are making fat jokes" meh, would worth a try

>>87226486
This is what he did in real life. Got an apology after the show, but was completely emasculated

>>87226590
>>87231901

This is why this is so entertaining, we have been trying to crack this case over a year lmao

>>87226759
She would have never dare to say something like that to Weinstein, thats the interesting hidden psychology of this case

>>87232505
Surely he didnt took the edgelord solutions that have been spouted here but he still took the L

>Yeah, I would leave because I remembered that I have a hot date with your mom.

You're still trying to solve this one? Jesus.

>>87234709
I find it very amusing. Is the Fermat Theorem of /r9k/

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>>87227480

FUCKING KEK

>>87225608
You guys all going to act like he did nothing? He was making fun of her and said some very nasty shit before she started.

>>87227480
>>87228326
>>87228623
>>87232140
>>87234965

There is literally nothing funny about this post. You are samefagging so hard that it hurts.

Any link I don't browse here daily

>>87234965
samefuckin fagggot

>>87232968
>>87232998
This is the only suave succinct response in the entire thread

>>87225608
This response is too long to be effective. Trim it down instead.

>I'm surprised you have standards, sweetheart.

There. Perfect.

>>87232968
I think the elite answer is combining all three.

"Have you seen me with my clothes off? haha Unfortunately they only touch 10's and are only interested in women, trust me i tried too haha."

Game. Set. Match.

>>87236842
Sperging out like a pathetic beta is 'winning'?

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>Why are there so many Muslims in your country you fucking smelly French cunt? I'm a Jew and all I see are brown subhumans who stare at me for carrying a little star around my neck. Yeah, my country might be full of spooks, but at least we have more than enough guns to kill them all if they act up. What are you gonna do against the Saracen hordes? Huh bitch? You gonna ask America to save you again, you frog-leg eating slut? I'm never coming on your show ever again.

>>87236877
>the arabs are the true threat

Nice try Feldstein

>>87236870
if you are fluid in your delivery and time it right, its funny, offensive and humbling to both

>>87226339
Refined people would find a more sophisticated word to use instead of whore, and then it would be pretty good comeback.

>>87237007
>>87237070
Fattys of the world will never learn.

Hot chick trumps fatso NO MATTER WHAT

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What's this look called?

>>87225608
I'm sorry, but did the Jonah Hill already lose? Oh, that's right. The interview isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only half over. Does not having the lead at half the interview count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this topic when the interview is still going? Jonah Hill is still answering questions right now and he has been the best interviewee in the entire movie circuit for how many years now? He's talking to one of the worst interviewers in the television who just happen to have a lead because they're feeding off the energy of being a pretty girl talking about sex. But you know what? They still fucking suck. Jonah Hill is one of the best fucking interviewees in Movies, he went 12-0 last year in interviews and would have went 13-0 if it wasn't because his agent choked on a single phone call. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when Jonah Hill wins and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, the hussy just went out of bounds on a basic joke, just like the guy that sprayed Tom Cruise did. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these anti-Jonah Hill topics because you're a ****** hater who doesn't like him because he's a good actor. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking actors on the board, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

>>87237155
It's known as: the Jew in Buffalo

>>87237155

He's turning into Gene Wilder.

>>87237149
Im skinny as fuck and it shows your submissive nature, you bow to anyone like the cuck you were born to be, leave faggot y u here lol

>>87237155
>Warren Moon jeresy

What did they mean by this?

>>87237155
He could not look more Jewish if he tried

>>87225906
It doesn't work. The French woman was absolutely beautiful.

What he should have said was

>Oh yeah? Takes one to know one.

>>87237155
The Kenny Powers

>>87237464
Yes, yes, The truth is there are many good comebacks in this thread, well done, very good, however the comeback Jonah gave himself was 10/10 to bad he needed a frogulator for the French crowd, it didn't go off as well, ear devices n shiet

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>>87227480

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>>87237507
>Oh yeah? Takes one to know one.

Except that makes no sense

Fattys of /tv/, it's time to wave the white flag already.

>>87231893
this is actually decent

>>87237464
>your submissive nature

Being a man is not being a fat lazy fuck anon. It has nothing to do with coming up with some pathetic neckbeard retort.

>>87226696
This is terrible, fuck off to your containment board faggot

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>>87225608
The fact is, there literally is NO comeback when a cute woman insults your manhood. Nothing you say can come back from that. The only way you can come back from that to reassert your manhood is by striking back physically, that's the only thing that would affect her.

It's why domestic abuse is so common: woman insults man, man feels threatened, only way he can reassert his position and masculinity is by getting violent. Any retort with words would fail.

>>87238150
So you're contention is that if the french girl had insulted say Jon Hamm in the same way, there would be nothing he could do but hit her?

nigga plz

You mean 'fat man' not 'man'.

>>87238150
There isn't a comeback if you put attractive girls on a pedestal, if you don't it's easy. You can call her out for her behavior or you can just make a worse comment about her

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>>87225608
>"You got me, I'm fat."

>>87238150
or you can just ignore her and laugh like every single man on earth confident in his masculinity

>Yeah, you're the type that think being a whore means something

>"Hahaha, oh wow.." *shake head and smile*
there i solved it

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>>87238231
average man isn't jon hamm, though. Average men probably look closer to Jonah Hill.

Just imagine you're a married middle aged man, working night shifts to pay for your family, your wife tells you you're not a man, and your chad friends she fucked behind your back had a bigger dick than you.

Is there any "comeback" to that? No, and it's a surprisingly common scenario, the only way the man can respond is by punching her fat female face in.

>>87238258
Irl she'd still win. Do you know how many betas have attempted this strategy against Stacy? It always ends the same way.

Weak man is BTFO

>>87238369
Yeah, but in your scenario the wife doesn't respect the husband for a reason.

If he was an actual man and not some weak willed schlep it wouldn't go down like that in the first place.

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>>87238150
this is correct. what women think of you is literally the only objective measure of your manhood that matters. there's nothing you can say to object to it. it would be like a fat woman breaking the scale and thinking she won.

>>87225608

>Am I leaving to get more men?
This is the best response.

This is an unwinnable situation. We might as well just call it "Jonah's Dilemma"

>I'd rather stay, but only for Leo

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>>87238650
>go for it. I'm sure you know your way around the docks. It's getting late though so skip the pit stop at Subway.

>>87227203
Because he's not twelve, anon. Go to bed.

>okay, yeah, good one, haha. who the fuck are you again, you stupid cunt? I guarantee if I showed half of what was in my wallet right now you'd be begging... BEGGING for me to fuck your stupid French ass. I have a forecast for YOU, lady: when it rains it pours, and I'm about to start a fucking storm in here if you aren't sucking my cock by the time I'm done speaking

>>87238540
>what women think of you is literally the only objective measure of your manhood that matters

Imagine being this pathetic

>>87226345
this could work

>>87238369
his dick is not visible there

>>87238540
What if you're a faggot?

>>87226486
Cruise was 100 percent right

>>87237727
You don't even know I'm fat though. Not only are you submissive but unintelligent.

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>>87225608
>"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."

The only real reply.

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>>87238887
Why do neckbeards think that stepping on the sperg accelerator is going to somehow rescue their dignity?

>>87238150
T. Cuck

Lmfao at all the cucks that bow to people who are more attractive. It shows you are both superficial and intellectually inferior and incapable to come up with a retort. Becuase of that you call everyone who did come up with some thing good, either fat or neck beard or spaz. Good try basement dwellers, your lives are over, not ours!

>>87239143
You can smell the taco bell and mountain dew radiating off you.

Being fit/attractive beats rhetoric every fucking time. As it should.

>>87225608
what is the context of this?

Leo and Brad Pitt huh? So you want a taste of the Hollywood life hmm? Well, you don't deserve that. You deserve shit
>At this point Jonah jumps out of the chair, crawls over to the French girl and tackles her
>They wouldn't want you, my dear. You aren't even good enough to be a 10$ backpage whore. No, you'll be my virgin fart slave
>Jonah's crushing weight is too much for the weather girl, she is no match. He sits his 350 lb, dingle berry infested ass on her face
>"Ya know I tried some of your local cuisine, it didn't really sit right HAHAHA."
>*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPT*
>her screams of broken English are muttered by his layers of fat
>"NOOO STOP, STINKY."
>*BRAAAAAAAAPT*
>"Yes, breath it in my dear, that's the only taste of the Hollywood life you will ever experience!"

>>87239143
So you think there is some scenario in which Lena Dunham could BTFO Brad Pitt?

>>87239285
Fat Jonah is made fun of by a pretty French girl. Honestly she was in the right.

>>87239327
I came

>>87239335
Are you fuckin retarded, yes! Superficial People will want to side with the attractive person but natural empathy and being that most of the population aren't special they will respect wit, dignified rational people won't give a fuck whose more attractive and just objectively laugh at what's funny. No wonder people on /tv/ are fuckin autistic, they put mental barriers that prohibit themselves from progressing in social circles, like taco projector over here, fuckin nanny faggot>>87239205

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>>87239364
She was completely in the right.

If only Jonah could handle the bantz like he handles a 12 inch SUBWAY® meatball sub made the way you say. Order Online & Pick Up In Store!

The only reason it may seem like a btfo is SOLELY because it was totally unexpected and it took everyone aback. In reality she said nothing witty or insightful. If that's the best damage she could do that's embarrassing. Even Jonah would get down with Pitt and Leo over here lmao

>>87239464
>superficial

Like your external appearance isn't reflective of your character and actions.

This is what fat asses actually believe.

>>87239335
If she said something that was funny. Then yeah, why not. I doubt Brad Pitt would stoop as low as the socially depraved faggots here and yell "WELL YOU'RE UGLY, I'M ATTRACTIVE" like a grade schooler.

>>87239549
He wouldn't have to. He could just raise and eyebrow and defeat Lena.

>>87239545
>Like your external appearance isn't reflective of your character and actions.
>You look good therefore you're an inherently good person
These are the downies that would hitch a ride with Ted Bundy, people

>>87225608

>If it was you, I'd be happy to leave.

Glad he thought of such a snappy comeback.

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lol not surprising

>>87239602
Like some abstract idea of virtue matters in a confrontation.

Fatties are exhausting.

>>87239617
She's dating Lionel Richie?

>>87239545
Lol we all know you're projecting your own weight to learn from an alternate simulation, nice try, Precious. We see in society all the time where people go htf is he with her and I'm not talking about gold diggers. This generation more than ever values the unorthodox. But in reality everything's normal. Somethings are just more common. There's no script fatass.

JERK STORE

>>87239549
He used Lena on purpose cause we all have a biased and hate her shit and her politics but yes if she said something funny I would def laugh. Everyone roots for the underdog. Everyone. Truthfully though only a worthless thinker would side intellectually with the pretty face. Social media aids tier ideology.

>>87239602
Kek

>>87239688
What are you babbling about retard.

'Superficiality' is just something people tell uggos to make them feel better.

If you think fitness/hygiene/diet/style have no tangible value in the world you're fucking retarded.

And if you think their value is somehow neutralized by the hot air you're blowing, well, you should stop lying to yourself.

>>87226486
Then he'll be the awkward one
>Dude we were just joking? Uh oh, awkward, I guess you can't understand humor

>>87239636
>Like some abstract idea of virtue matters in a confrontation.
Apparently to you it does if you're saying you can seriously judge someone's entire character by an up-down glance

Failed normies are sad

>>87239835
>you're saying you can seriously judge someone's entire character by an up-down glance

you'd be 90% there.

Semiotical truth > rhetorical truth

>>87239810
Listen here one more time you fat fuckin tub of lard. Do you think it was the clean and beautiful and sheltered who developed all of civilization? Religion, Literature, music, architecture, warfare, politics, science, painting, dancing etc. You're such a fucking pseud outclassed by reality. No one gives a fuck about your demise in social culture. Yes, people can be tempted by beauty but that is the extent. Undignified men and women give in on their own free will and let it dictate their lives. It's only in this hyper self aware modern culture where having Instagram followers is a sign of influence and sway and attractive. This aids tier thinking is a result of self defeat from scum fucks like you. You like being a superficial charlatan lap dog, by all means go ahead. But don't project your subscription on innocent people. Your scum who suffer the verdict of life. Go salivate to middle aged women cooking shows you waste of space. Fucking pseud you are.

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>>87239987
lmao

>>87238150
You can just be cool and allow the fact that it her that tries to get under your skin not you to play in your favour.
The moment you take her opinion close enough to be upset about it you lost.

>>87240022
These fatties actually think there is somehow some combination of words they can throw down to neutralize their lazy indulgent lifestyles.

It's truly insane.

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>>87240065
On a base level even Jonah understands this.

>>87240022
>>87240065
You pseuds don't even understand that women are more objective than men when it comes to searchin for a partner, they look at stability and stature etc. Over looks on a higher margin than men. Only fuckin frat boy mentality faggots go oooouuuusexxxyy bitxchhh witnesses cuuuzzz Shaheed seeexxyyy

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what he said will always be the best thing

>>87240240
>Nature is nature.

Get a grip on reality anon.

>>87240277
Yeah. He took the L and kept it moving.

Really was his only option.

>>87240277
Correct.
>>87240315
He took one and gave one. She even gave herself another L later in her apology. Checked. Clearly your jealous of Jonah lmao.

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>>87227480
maximum kek

>>87240283
>jdhduzidms
Kk planet fatass, it's called Jenny Craig bitch

>>87240391
>gains fame
>gives an OBVIOUSLY fake ass placating apology

how did she take an L again???

>>87226486
This is the answer to the Jonah Hill problem.

>>87226486
>>87240498
>people don't think Tom Cruise is a semi-insane (((Scientology))) puppet

Wew

>>87232968
>"Have you seen me with clothes off?"
this is the only correct response

>>87240484
She litteraly called herself a nobody and brown nosed his ass by praying his accolades, what's the point of faking that shit, if she didn't care she wouldn't even apologize it was an obvious joke but she knew she fucked up I guess, she has more dignity than you faggot

>>87225669
She did lol

>>87240560
Or "woah lemme fix you a drink first jeez aha"

>>87230549
>no replies
That tells you all you need to know

>>87225669
Tie, more Jonah, becuase she apologized like the dog she is after

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>>87240560
>body by Subway huh?

Tom Cruise scientology shit is just to evade taxes

>>87240626
HOLY FUCK HOW DID I OVERLOOK THIS PART HE SAID "I HEARD YOU GET SODOMIZED QUITE OFTEN" HERES THE LINK WITH SUBTITLES

https://youtu.be/Y90cC4qPgq4

LMFAO THE MADMAN

>>87240566
>>87240626
>fake PR apologies matter

Wew

>>87235117
it's funny faggot

>>87240652
Thanks for correcting the record Schlomo

>>87237155
Holy shit, his chubiness concealed his jewiness. Dude looks horrific now.

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>>87239491
Jonah has demonstrated that he can lose weight, it's just that he's pathetic as an actor and comedian when he's not playing the fat gross loser character. He is rightfully ridiculed.

People complain about "double-standards" but if a French TV guy made fun of Amy Schumer I would laugh just as hard, if not harder.

>>87240669
She also JUSTed herself a week later in her apology

https://youtu.be/w0doWx73iM4

What if he just stood up, with a calm expression on his face, walked towards the lady with a hand extended, as if to shake her hand, then as he got close to her, he punched her in the face as hard as he could with his other hand. And then he just walks away. Would this have worked?

>>87240644
This assumes that she would keep going after him. I think it's safe to assume that she just underestimated how cutting her attack would be - if Jonah had responded with something funny but slightly self depreciating then she would have picked up on that cue and moved on.

>>87240788
What's the best comeback quip?

I'd let her berate me all day long if it meant I got to crush her pusy.

>>87237507
What made her absolutely beautiful?

>>87240790
yeah but is she was quick w/ the bantz she could have easily KO'd him with the second punch.

>>87237155
perhaps this is why he likes to be fat, it's harder to tell he's such a Jewy Jewface.

>>87240869
Who? Jonah Feldste...err Hill?

>>87227480
sad that this is still the best response

>>87240930
no, that is the neckbeard's wet dream

>>87237155
Oy vey!

>>87240762
>those comments
yikes

>>87225608
*pulls out erect cock and starts masturbating in front of the audience while licking his lips and winking at individual audience members*

"Whatever, none of us even know who you are anyway"

>>87240827
/tv/ is such BETA shit hole lmao I always knew the alt right were a bunch of closet pussies

>>87240892
(((Jonah))) "Hill" as they say

>>87241091
>while he's on her show

manchildren need to just admit defeat

>DP eh?...hunh...bit of a lossey are we?
*smiles*

>>87241116
>>87240762
Straight from the asses mouth

Would it be alpha if he stood up and pointed his ass towards her and *BRAAPPD* his Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki ®?

Yo Jonah is low key a little shit bass ass lmao he got territorial in this interview, showed those French fucks

https://youtu.be/YlqKplIe4JU

>>87225608
>well, we all have our fantasies.

Pretty sure that's it

>>87241294
His comeback was the best, the fuckin translator said local presenter instead of weather girl, they have two completely different connotations
https://youtu.be/nW0RK9ho4XY

This one is funny but sad

>>87241294
>chick spends a full minute going into detail about how Jonah takes a cock up the arse in This is the End and how she'd rather take DiCaprio and Brad Pitt over him
>'o- okay'
>good response
pls

>>87225608
>Well ok, but how are YOU going to convince Brad and Leo to show up in the first place? Leo's hanging out with supermodels all day and even then he can't get Brad to show up without a months notice.

>>87241542
Don't quit your day job

>>87241563
Y-You too

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>>87226365
Something along this tact is the answer to the enigma I feel. Give her a polite chuckle, then go into something very serious and emotional. Makes you look good for laughing her off, while making her look petty for telling fat jokes.

>Haha, ok I'll see if I can arrange it.
>I want to discuss the main reason I am in France though if we have a minute. I'm involved with the xyz charity, over 3000 French children per year die from curable diseases, blah blah blah

>>87226345
kek

Kek

KEK

>>87241725
>There to save their childrens lives
>Have to wade through a sea of fat jokes and personal insults first

Works because it makes French people in general look bad, she ends up shaming the entire nation

>>87241725
>>87241788
Except it would have to be true. (ie: he wasn't on a press junket)

Such an OBVIOUS lie would make him look even worse.

>>87238150
You can respond in a self-deprecating manor.
Twist the joke on them.

>>87241563
>>87241606
This exchange was pure gold between you too lmao

"Leo only dates teens and Brad only indulged intelligent women, and your neither intelligent or a woman...i can see your woody."

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>>87241992
>Brad only indulged intelligent women
the shills on here are getting cheaper and cheaper

>>87225608
If I was him I would say nothing. Just look at her expressionless. Why respond to a weird thing some random woman says?

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Prolly the only celebrity who could come out on top in that situation is the comeback king Norm Macdonald. Look around with rye incredulity, comment on her promiscuity, compare the show to Crossfire or something then make some obscure reference that nobody gets at the time but ends up making her look silly in a few months when someone in the youtube comments explains it, like saying the best she could get is Doug Pitt.

>>87235117
Fuck off faggot.

>>87226590
money trumps all and jonah is fucking loaded. he should have just hocked a fat loogie in her face and thrown a hundred at her. "here, clean yourself off. I assume this exceeds your usual rates."

>>87242133
lol

Didnt see this, link on youtube?

>>87242303
Hi réddïi t

>>87242165
Right if he does it it's cool, if someone here does it, it's a fat neck beard having an ucler, fuckin hate /tv/

>>87226590
female necks snap easily.

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>>87238150
>>87238540
>what women think of you is literally the only objective measure of your manhood that matters
Someone believes this. This may very well be bait, but we all know that numales believe this. Actual millions of dickless men base their self worth around vapid facebook bitches thinking they're cool or not. Activates the shit out of my almonds.

>ok fine but once you're done with them, your all mine ok
*winks* *smirks*

K.O.

>>87225608
Only thing that could have worked would be calling Leo and him rejecting her on the spot

The only way to win is to say its funny that you mention leo. We've just been working together to start an ngo in south africa to help female victims of child abuse.

Now she looks like a bitch.

>>87242409
It's simply a matter of execution, something fat neckbeards can't really pull off because they look like ridiculous circus attractions.

>>87242553
Or to say that mentioning leo its such a blessing to be lucky enough to star in movies along side him considering his fatness and how he really just enjoys making entertainment.

This is how you do it... Just start laughing frantically, really really loudly, for say 30s and then you stop and move on as if nothing happened.

>>87242447
it's true bro. it ain't good but evolution and life are quite worldly, superficial, and unfair things frankly.

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>>87226339
>This is like the judo of comebacks

"Yeah its true, I managed to become a famous actor based off my talent and humour alone, I didn't need to be handsome. Tell me how you landed your high flying role as a local weathergirl?"

>>87226696

kekd

>>87242557
Lmao my argument was that whoever has the better quips wins, but some fat fuck says it's over if they are more attractive l, like the fuckin faggot nihilist he is

>You know what, it's funny you say that, they were actually looking for a new housekeeper funny enough

That's just sounds too bitter/triggered, you autists are so bad at this.

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The best he could do to make this salvageable is to look at the camera and rhetorically ask "are you two listening?" as if speaking to Leo and Brad

>>87243134
Honestly, any comeback to her longer than one sentence is cringe/aspie as fuck

>>87225608
it's been years since this happened and /tv/ STILL hasn't come up with a proper response, and going by this thread, they're getting worse....

>>87243213
I like it

You can't sperg out with insults because all she did was mention a fantasy, at your expense but still, best option is to just save face and continue the joke

>>87225608
>Do you want me to call Leo?

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>Shut the fuck up bitch I swear to god I'll smash your face in with a fucking hammer and set you on fire

>*laugh like everyone else*
>Alright thanks, cya
Woah that was hard guys, it's like ignorance is the strongest counter to any verbal attack or something

Of course everything in here is going to sound spergy because it's premeditated, if you were able to think of all these good ones on the spot, they would be excellent, very hard tho, Jonahs was excellent anyway

>>87243444
>very hard
I mean, he's paid to be funny..