Because I'm queer, I'm gay. I'm a homosexual. I'm a poof. I'm a poofter. I'm a ponce. I'm a bum boy, batty boy, backside artist, bugger. I'm bent. I'm a faggot arsed, fudge packing, shit stabbing, uphill gardener. I'm Moses and the parting of the red cheeks. I fuck and I'm fucked. I suck and I'm sucked. I rim them and I wank them and every single man's had the time of his fucking life.