Why didn't harry use his ackio firebolt spell when he was

>No!

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How did they get away with many of the faux pas that riddled the books and movies? Oh wait they didn't, and that's why it will forever be cemented as easily one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>87146519
>Atlas Shrugged

lol you almost had me for a minute. Besides, the whole list is pleb shit everyone read in high school.

Why didn't Harry just kill Wormtail?

>>87147109

Harry;s not a murderer

>>87146942
t. Newfag

Why didn't Harry use the Time Turner to stick an explosive wand up Voldemort's ass when he was a baby?

The real question is why didnt anyone use time turners in the old war against voldemort?

>>87146519
Jesus fucking Christ if you're going to post this use the real image.

>>87147208
It would start the bad guys using them too. Like nuclear bombs.

>>87146519
>god tier
>no Mein Kampf
Why do you even read?

Did Ron ever rape Hermione during their 3rd year, then use her Time Turner to stop himself so there was no trace?

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>>87147208

>>87146519
You should stop posting the dullest copypasta in the history of copypastas. Seriously each thread about the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains is now indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy rhetoric, the pasta’s only consistency has been its lack of humor and ineffective use of repetition, all to make trolling unfunny, to make shitposting seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when anons vetoed the idea of using a different image each time: they made sure the pasta would never be remixed or worked upon? just ridiculously profitable cross-thread pandering for (You)s. The Harry Potter copypasta might be anti-kino (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-Banepost in its refusal of innovation, applicability and funniness. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>b-but it's board culture though

"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the pasta is terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time it is posted, the anon merely changes the first sentence. I began marking on the back of an envelope every time this was the only attempt made to contextualize it to the topic of the thread. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. /tv/'s mind is so governed by cliches and stale memes that it has no other style of shitposting. Later I read a lavish, loving review of the Harry Potter copypasta by a Redditor. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these anons are shitposting about Harry Potter on /tv/, then when they get older they will go on to make memes on Reddit. And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you use the "Harry Potter" copypasta you are, in fact, being trained to make Reddit memes.

>>87146487
Fpbp

>>87146349
probably the same reason you are still a virgin

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Why didn't Harry use his accio firecrotch spell on his wedding night?

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He was too busy using accio one of the most fantastic franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been an extremely unique adventure. In addition to the gloomy imagery, some of the series’ consistencies have been its plethora of excitement and effective use of special effects, all to make magic wonderful, to make action seem intense.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a piece of excrement that meant nothing to everybody, resulting in ridiculously successful cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of plainness, ugliness and boredom. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the movies were bad though
"No!"
The directing is stellar; the movie was amazing. As I watched, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, showing the wonderfully described and created scenery was a priority.

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase happened. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so unhindered by cliches and dead metaphors that she could excel at any type of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>87147406

You should stop posting the second dullest copypasta in the history of copypastas. Seriously each thread about the copypasta and his autistic spammers as they copy and paste is now indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the inconsistent images, the only certainty has been the lateness at which the pasta is posted.

Perhaps the die was cast when the one (1) anon that posts this deemed to use a different and unrelated image each time: making sure the pasta was only recognizable by the samefagging replies. Just ridiculous what a samefag you are, as if those (You)s have any merit. The Harry Potter copypasta reply copypasta might be anti-pasta (it surely is), but it is certainly anti-anti-Sneedpost in its refusal of humor, wit, and will to keep spamming the same unfunny shit all the time. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>b-but its better than Harry Potter copypasta

"Brap!"

The writing is Reddit, the pasta is cancer. As I read, I notice that every time it is posted, the image changes. I began to save the images to a folder I titles "Reddit Cancer." I stopped only when I had to delete the folder to make space for more tranny porn. I was horny. When you use the "Harry Potter copypasta copypasta" you are in fact being trained to make 9gag memes.

Harry was getting handjobs from Hermione from like, 4th year on right?

Why didn't they just shoot Voldemort?

>>87147208
Pretty sure Hermoine's Time Turner was just a lesser charm, sort of, and no grand scale Time Turner exists... until Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, but that's a massive shit that exists just so Rowling can do a Potter play, and isn't canon to the books, so we'll disregard that.

Other than that, the Time Turner charms may not have existed at the time Lily and James were killed. There's nothing that says trinkets in the magic world aren't far off from technology in the muggle world, wherein 10+ years would see the rise of brand new shit.

>>87148465

muggles cant see wizards stupid

>>87147178
>>87147208
In all seriousness though, nobody gets how time turners work.

If you use them properly, the limit is about 5 hours (pottermore) and has restrictions. It creates a closed time loop. No time turner is ever used to change the past in the series. The characters just fulfill events that already happened. Dumbledore just realized that a loop was in place, so he knew it was safe to start it. Harry was safe because he never actively acted to change the past, just fulfill it.

If you try to actively change the past or go back too far, the timeturner fucks up. Most of the spells on it are basically for your protection. One witch who accidentally went too far back ended up stuck in the past for a few days, then snapped back to the future where she aged hundreds of years in an instant. Also time itself got fucked up and skipped Wednesday that week or something, and a few dozen people were unborn.

Time turners can only be used to a) observe events in the past (which they already can do with other magic) or b) create "copies" of yourself that don't share information or change events, but rather carry out different tasks. So at best they could have used them to track down horcruxes more quickly, but that's about it.

Theoretically, could Trump launch missiles at hogwarts if dark wizards took it over?

>>87148740
>implying Trump isn't a dark wizard

It'd explain a lot actually

>>87148740
Depends on whether he's willing to stop pretending he's Scottish or not.

>>87146349
why doesnt voldermort use a gun?

>>87148740
Yes. But then it comes down to "Which is more powerful?". A bunch of missiles or the magical shield surrounding Hogwarts? It's magic so it could be as powerful as you need it to be for plot purposes so who knows.

>>87148585
>wizards can't use guns

>>87148909
The shield is almost entirely to prevent dark magic (even early on the fight things were thrown through windows), and also to prevent it from being put on the map/accidentally discovered.

The real problem would be hitting the school. Nukes would fuck it up if they could do that, best defense would be tranfiguring the bombs... but kinda hard to hit a moving ICBM with a spell

>>87148909
Arthur Weasly and other pure blood wizards are constantly baffled by simple technologies such as telephones. I don't they'd be able to figure out how to stop 50 Tomahawk missiles.

>>87148928
>>87148465
>Problem is easily solvable with guns
>In the UK

That's like asking why Americans don't solve their obesity epidemic by eating healthy.

>>87148674
>nobody gets how time turners wor

hacck writer didnt explain it, so she depends on her loyal tinder followers to explain things like a deux ex machina to the audience.

>doesn't explain how harrys son used a time tuner to alter the wizarding war, or the time paradoxes

>>87149039
>wizards are incapable of leaving the UK

>>87149112
That's because Cursed Child is bullshit fanfiction tier, and it's stated in that book that the turner is experimental.

Anyone with half a brain who read book 3 can figure out it was a closed time loop. Not the author's fault that most readers get confused by the mere mention of time travel.

>>87148928
They can't. Wizards are so used to using magic to accomplish everything, they're absolutely retarded when it comes to everything else. Did you forget that almost every scene with Arthur involves him asking Harry how some muggle item works, and him never understanding?

Seriously, I'm surprised so many people seem to forget things like that. The parts with wizards being confused by muggle life are some of my favorites in the book; everyone comes off like a confused child at the simplest things.

>>87149246
Pretty much this. Rowling actually sets up time turners better than almost any other franchise I can think of. I think people just get confused because every single piece of fiction that uses time travel has different rules, and people can't separate them. Rowling's rules are incredibly simple: everything is a closed loop, you can only travel back short periods of time, and nothing can be changed. Plus, she destroyed all of them to keep people from asking stupid questions.

There's nothing to be confused by.