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>Be wonka
>Have pretty damn good reputation
>look in the mirror
>See i'm getting pretty old
>Decide to have a competition with golden tickets
>huge media success
>Things are going well
>get cocky and pretend to fall
>media love me, kids love me
>toeasy.jpg
>Some fuck wit falls into the chocolate pipes
>gets stuck and drowns
>staycalm.exe
>everyone thinks ''magic'' can save him
>to deep in to call the police
>some fucking kid steals some blue berry candy and fucking explodes
>''uhh... we c.. can dejuice her!'
>mfw they fucking believe me
>terrified, trying to think of a way out of this
>kid wants to enter restricted area
>tell him no
>FUCKING KID IGNORES MY WARNINGS AND GETS CRUSHED TO DEATH IN THE GARBAGE CHUTE
>kneesweakalrmsareheavy.jpg
>another kid fucking shrinks and the mother decides to keep him as a permanent baby
>Nearing the end of the day
>get into my office quite shook
>Atleast one kid with a good soul will inherit this factory when I'm in prison
>Look at CCTV footage
>HE STOLE FIZZY LIFTING DRINK
>areyoukiddingme.exe
>lectured by old man
>Charlie reveals he was going to sell my candy for personal gains but changed his mind
>cackle like a mad man
>get them in my glass elevator
>fly to the sun
>YOU LOSE YOU GET NOTHIN
Why does anyone think wonka is the bad guy?
>>
Grandpa Joe is the villain:
http://saynotograndpajoe.com/
>>
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>>86838028
That might be one of the shadiest looking links I have ever seen.
>>
>invite children to candy factory.
>encourage children to eat the candy.
>factory is a death trap.
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>>86838028
This is amazing. Thank you.
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>>86837967
I always thought the lesson was: you can be a CEO if you're a smart thief
>>
>just murdered 4 children
>his biggest concern is that the ceiling has to be washed and sterilized
get your priorities straight old man
>>
>>86838373
>this is a children's movie
>>
>>86838633
He was already pissed that Augustus contaminated gallons upon gallons of his chocolate river with his fat body, but the ceiling just threw him over the edge.
>>
None of the children actually died. Read the book you plebeians
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>>86840198
"No!"
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>>86840198
they very clearly didn't die in the movie either
>>
>>86838028
I've never actually experienced this kind of autism firsthand, and I've met with many different strains. This however, has changed my understanding of things. Thank you, anon.
>>
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>>86840282
Those were just Oompa Loompas in wigs. Wonka hid the kid's bodies in the candy. Read between the lines.
>>
>tfw the oompa-loompas were originally African pygmies
LOOK IT UP
>>
>>86837967
he was actually trying to pin all of the crimes on Charlie by giving him the factory and move to South America with his money in an offshore account
>>
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>>86837967
>fly to the sun
They actually fly into space and have a whole adventure on a spaceship with aliens and everything. That was a crazy read as a kid
>>
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Thanks to Chris Hansen I watch every television and film through the lens of the characters trying to fuck some underage kids. Wonka clearly was very subtly holding a competition to see who was going to be his child bride or groom. To deviants the sex of their victim isn't the most important thing in the world.
>>
Wonka masturbated onto the chocolates he fed the children. Semen on everything they ate.
Thread posts: 19
Thread images: 5
Thread images: 5