I come across an interesting if not infamous website, seemingly

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I come across an interesting if not infamous website, seemingly as old as the internet itself yet never truly explored by the average mind.

*grabs a live chicken and bites its head off*

As I was saying, my journey for fame, fortune, and food has brought me to 4chan; known to some as the true birthplace of the modern internet. Specifically I find myself on /tv/, a den of the absurd, the dying, the reborn, and the contrarian; dedicated to the "discussion" of all that takes place in front of a camera lens.

*kills the last animal of an endangered species*

I see Aiden Gillen, a close friend of mine who has become a peculiar case; blossomed into somewhat of an ironic god for the ever sarcastic masses of 4chan. A simple phrase from his opening lines in "The Dark Knight Rises" immortalizes him in the memetic dreams of /tv/. Not long after, I encounter a scantily clad prepubescent girl who makes some vulgar sexually suggestive approaches towards me -- likely the work of the less reputable men who lurk in the shadows of /tv/. A fight breaks out nearby, two overweight men with poor hygiene fighting over the sexual history of a B list actress. I smell the pungent aroma of passed gas; it smells good. It smells like beautiful disgusting chaos. I'm starting to feel at home here.

*shoots a doe in mid birth and uses its umbilical cord to strangle the barely newborn fawn*

I ask the locals for their opinions of my own work on television and it doesn't bode well for me, I'm called a pretentious faggot and told to kill myself. The lingering insecurity of my sexual past flares up like a gazelle blown apart by a stick of dynamite, and I leave to ponder about my experiences with /tv/...and of course...find something to eat.

*drags the corpse of a homeless man into a nearby kitchen*