ITT: Movie theater stories >live near a revival theater >whenever

>black family comes in with entire set of chinese food
>pass dem eggrolls nigga
not even meming, idk HOW THE FUCK they snuck that shit in

another time they brought in mcdonalds

>>86632220
>pass dem eggrolls nigga
ha

>>86632220
I've seen a black person at a movie theater only once. One guy at a Dario Argento screening. He was wearing a Jack Skellington hat.
It's not even like there are no black people here. I used to go this fuckhuge IMAX theater in an all black area a lot, and inside there would be no black people.

>>86632542
>Dario Argento screening
When I go see Giallo in a theater I like to doze off for a bit at the beginning. When I wake up 10-20 minutes later the movie finally starts to get going, and my still groggy state greatly enhances the giallo style and makes me put up with all the nonsensical bullshit.

>>86632154
When I was 8 some guy exposed himself to some kids.

>>86632154
>work at a theater
>two guys blowing each other in the bathrooms every week
>always ask if I wanna join

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>>86632154

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>>86632154
>be me
>working first job fresh out of high school at busy AMC
>walk into restroom
>see this

Someone brought a latex glove into a movie theater ,put it on, shit in their hand, and left it on the floor

>>86633054
At least he had the decency to turn it inside out.

>>86632962
perfect

>>86633132
The stall was 100% clean. I wasnt even mad, more like baffled.
One time I was ushering and there were these two teens at the top row in the corner. We arent allowed to turn the lights on to clean until everyone is out of the theater, but I had shit to do and didnt have time for their bullshit so I turned the lights on on them and caught her giving him a blowjob.
Another time I saw cum on a seat, didnt clean it, someone probably ended up sitting on it

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here's some caps I took from a similar thread

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one of my personal favorites

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>years ago
>go see some shitty movie
>there's a guy in nu metal clothing and a fedora sitting in front of us
>he takes off his fedora
>there's a bandana underneath
Pic related.

>>86632962
sauce

>>86633769
it is a photoshoot. What sauce do you need? All of them are that short in the same shitty quality.

>>86633601
hairmops

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>>86633318

>you will never get a blowjob in the cinema

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>>86632220
>roommate in college was black
>group of us on our hall go to see movie
>he brings his black gf
>before the movie they go to the grocery store and buy an entire rotisserie chicken
>put it in her giant ass black girl purse
>get in theatre
>he opens chicken
>entire fucking theatre blasted by intense smell of roasted chicken
>can hear other people sniffing the air trying to figure out why the movie smells like chicken
>he's just hand picking pieces off of it
>wipes his greasy fingers on the seat in front of him

>>86632962

Thank you mr skeleton

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>go to movies by myself because I can
>ask ticket bitch for my ticket "ticket for one for Dunkirk!"
>ticket bitch says "for ONE? what's it like going to the movies alone?"
>I say "Yes, for one. what's it like earning 9 dollars an hour?" laugh in ticket bitch's face and walk away
>walk up to stub ripper...say "IS THIS YOUR WHOLE JOB? YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD LOL" rip my own stub because I'm not an idiot
>enter eatery, walk up to servant "what will you have?" she asks, "it's okay! I brought my own!" I say while showing her the contents of my backpack with cola and homemade popcorn inside
>turn to those behind me and say "ENJOY PAYING THREE BUCKS FOR COLA, MORONS"
>make my way to cinema doors...notice lots of couples
>"WHAT IS THIS? MAKE OUT HOUR? THIS IS A MOVIE MORONS, NOT A FUCKING LOVE IN, GTFO"
>laugh at them as they leave in embarrassment
>cinema all to myself, put my feet up and throw popcorn at my face because that's how I eat it

>>86632154
I'd let her fart on my dick

>>86632962
Why do modeling agencies always hire these bizarre looking bitches. You got literal gazelle with awful titjob over here then you've got that bitch that keeps getting cast in major flops. Why do they keep doing it, guys? Is conventional beauty literally too controversial now?

>>86635134
Perfect tens get boring, weird looking people can be more eye- catching, which is kind of the point

>>86635134
>Why do modeling agencies always hire these bizarre looking bitches.

Because fashion designers are all homos. They have no understanding of female beauty, they just want a tall, thin body to hang their clothes on.

>>86635295
>weird looking people can be more eye- catching, which is kind of the point
You've got a point. I can't imagine these wack looking models will stay in style forever, though. People will get tired of buying clothes off bowl cut bitches from all these post-modern fashion websites eventually.

>>86632154
Karli looks like a trap

>>86634850
this gave me an erection

>>86635683
That aesthetic has been around for a while. Tall and super skinny women is the patrician aesthetic. Normalfriends like stuff more akin to glamour modeling.

>>86635716
Shoo shoo bully

>>86635716
show me a trap who looks like her
please, I'm serious

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when will they learn

>>86636581
Never.

>>86633889
her name retard, gimme her name so I can fap to her pics
please

>>86632154
>>86632962
>>86636581
giv giant gf

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>>86634762
My friend rents yachts to billionaires in the Caribbean and he had to throw Jayz and Beyonce off a yacht because they were eating chicken wings and rubbing their greasy hands on these million dollar whale foreskin stools or something crazy like that.

>>86635134
>>86635369
Plebs.

>go to theatre
>sit down
>just as i'm about to take out my crabs legs, realise i forgot my hammer
>go and try and rent one, they only have one left
>it's covered in at least a week old crab juice
>sign the hammer release form and 10% of all my anvil collection over to the assistant and take the hammer
>sit back down and go to open my crabs legs on the anvil
>as i wrench back my arm to hit the crab leg, the head of the hammer goes flying behind me and hits a kid in the face, killing him almost immediately
>can hear someone scream, 'no, my wifes son!'
>before i can even apologise, sent to the popcorn mines and have my anvil license revoked
>only just let out today after 6 months
>get home to see all the anvils i hoarded over the years taken

i guess i had too many as it was anyway.

one time I brought in some green beans in a can to eat because I get hungry and when I sat down in the theater I pulled out my can opener and started opening my can and these black people started staring at me and then one said "yo nigga you eating green beans" and started laughing so I decided to be alpha for the day and set my can in the cup holder and looked him in the eyes and bent my head down and said very sternly and slowly "Don't. Mock. My. Food." but they weren't intimidated and yelled out "DIS NIGGAH EATIN BEANS" and I got nervous because people were starting to turn around and I just ran out without my beans and never came back in case someone recognized me. a couple days later I was walking around the local mall and I heard someone shout "BEANS" and I didn't know if they were talking about me but I never went back there either

>>86632962
>STANDING

>>86635134
look up JQ

>>86638507
based anvilposter

>>86634850
I love this pasta so much. Seriously how are there still guys here scared of going alone after reading this?

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>>86637967
Karlie Kloss

>>86632220
>pass dem eggrolls nigga
kek

>>86632154
>Always go to the movies with same 2 mates
>Always do the same joke outloud so everyone in the cinema can hear, when the intros pop up, like universal or paramount, just say "Oh ive seen this one before", theater laughs.
>When i went to see The Force Awakens, when the star wars text came on in the beginning, me and my mates started clapping to see if we could get other people to follow, we clap and all of a sudden everyone starts cheering and clapping

>>86632962
lol even I have bigger tits

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>>86638060
toll girls are the best

>>86641133
how smelly is her butthole?

>>86638205
Why would they not just buy napkins?

>>86641498
girls don't have those, beside the sluts who do anal

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>>86633443

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time
Saved

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>>86641133

I saw 'Spun' ( a black comedy about meth, starring Mickey Rourke) at a cinema in London. Before the film started one of the customers dragged the manager into the auditorium because he was convinced that they was a ghost in the theatre.

He literally led her over to a bank of seats and asked her if she could feel a supernatural presence.

He did not stay for the main feature. I have no idea whether he got his money back.

>>86642080
I need more info about this dude.

>>86641020
are you grill

>>86632962
oh my god

>>86632962
Absolutely perfect. I cannot think of a way to improve this. Peak woman. 11/10

>>86636581
>Left is 6'
>Right is 5'10"

>>86643193
lel

>>86632962
YES

>>86632962
More like this?

>>86633416
>at least her hand was pretty tasty

>>86638728
That's not how you alpha

>>86635134
It's run by fags and jew fags.

>>86636581
Who's on the right?

>>86641133
>>86640369
>>86632962
>>86632154
post more

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>>86646779

how new

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>>86646877
give me the name or else nigga, i've been seeing her but i can't put a name to it

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>>86646959

do you not know how to google

is this your first day on the internet

>>86638205
you can take a nigger out of the hood, but you can't take the nigger out of the nigger

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>>86647013
I'm not good with computers

>>86641888
actually loving "thicc" is more likely to be a thundercock thing, since you need a big dick to get past all that fat

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>>86647061

>>86647167
Ok then not give me the name, be like that

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>>86647205

>>86647247
>>86647313
I know she hasn't SHAVED yet

>>86647313
she takes blm type classes at nyu

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>>86647247
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that clavicle

>>86641888
>5th column the 'somewhere inbetween' loving quasi-entity
-not obese
-not anorexic
-not a complete problem case with body image
issues

>go see 300 rise of whatever it was called, the 2nd 300 movie.
>2 dollar movie theater on a weekday
>theater is empty
>just me before it starts
>older guy walks in and sits in my same row
>Movie starts and the first time eva green is on screen he pulls out his cock and starts masturbating
>After awhile of looking I get the courage and pull mine out too and start masturbating
>he sees me and smiles
>i go sit next to him with my cock out
>we blow and jerk each other and both cum during evas big sex scene.

One of the best theater experiences of my life

>>86647377

any more pics where she's making a funny face?

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>>86632962

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>>86647386
you are a clavicle fiend !!!

>>86632962
imagine the sons she would produce

giv

>>86647501
>aryan cutie with a big booty
literaly perfection

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>>86647457

>>86647433
fuk imagine her small mouth over your member

>>86632220
>>pass dem eggrolls nigga
LOLLLLLLLL

>>86647386
based clavicle poster

>>86647533
>imagine the sons she would produce
little german cucks who wear dresses

>>86647433
>that thick arm fur

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>>86647360

>>86647654
you mean 6'6" turbo Chad astronauts

>Go see the first Scary Movie
>As soon as the lights dim, hamplanet she wigger
one row in front starts toking
>People tell her to knock that shit off
>She starts going white ghetto
>Lights come on, manager kicks her, and her friends out
>Manager apologizes to us, restarts movie.

>my dog (labrador) wanted to see Zootopia
>print off fake service dog vest and put on dog
>my dog and I watched Zootopia together
>he would give a playful bark when everyone else would laugh
>a group of furries was there too and they tried talking to him but the costumes scared him and he ran away
>haven't seen my dog since


>

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toll vs smoll

what do you choose /tv/

>>86648169
whynotboth.jpg

>>86648169
Toll is sexier, smoll is cuter

>>86648169
>>86648230
this basically
and I choose toll

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>>86648198
I just realized there is a girl that goes to the gym I attend that looks a lot like ASR.

what do I do

>>86648259
Ask her if she knows ASR

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>>86648259

steal her

>Karlie thread
>starts posting midgets
shiggy

>>86648259
>>86648259
sing oompa loompa doopaddie dee

>>86632962
ehhhh

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>>86648169
Ideally smoll bullied by toll

>>86648259
wait until she's done with her workout and tired, then pick her up, put her in your gym-bag, zip it tight, and go home

I went to see Drive in theaters and there was this group of 3 fat girls who wouldn't stop laughing at the Goose and when the hotel room scene happened they were like "OMG it looks like period blood xD". I asked them to shut up but they kept doing it so I saw them walking in the parking lot after and drove up behind them really fast then pumped the brakes and honked my horn. It felt good because they shit their pants.

>>86648259
Does she have a big butt as well?

>>86648401
ASR is more attractive

>>86648497
just look at how utterly inferior she looks next to Charlize. I don't know how anyone could like midget girls.

>>86648583
For her size, yes. Legs and cardio are what she does most, then some ab stuff.

>>86648497
human vs wretched goblin

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>>86648608
I wonder how often Charlize groped her on set

>>86632962
gross

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>>86632962

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>>86648722
>>86648785

fuck off homos

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>>86648497

>Not smoll bully/gentle giant

What are you? One of them queers?

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>>86648924

>Go to the theater alone
>Straight from work
>Late night showing
>Theater is pretty empty
>Go to the bathroom to change since my boss has a fit if someone uses the work shirt with the store logo outside the store
>Take my work shirt off outside of stall, it's the men's room anyway
>A girl got mixed up and was in one of the stalls thinking she was in the women's room
>She comes out while I'm shirtless
>I'm moderately /fit/, but nothing impressive
>She gets flustered, things get awkward as fuck, she bolts out of there while I rush to put my shirt on.
>Later walk into the theater
>As fate would have it, she's seated near me
>She recognizes me
>I recognize her
>It's awkward
>Feel compelled to try to break the ice
>Rationalize the best way to go about it is through humor
>Joke that she didn't wash her hands
>I'veMadeATerribleMistake.avi
>She looks mortified, shuffles a bit and changes seats
>Felt like shit for the rest of the movie

>>86632154
>>86632154
>Watching some movie, can't remember
>Start feeling that my seat is being tampered with
>Wonder if it's somebodies foot
>Before I could turn around to tell them to stop, a little hispanic girl climbs over
>She stands on my lap using my head as a brace
>After a few seconds of trying to stand, she tries to climb down awkwardly
>I scoop her up under the arms and put her on the ground
>She says "Thank you" then walks down the row into the darkness
>I turn around to the mom to be like what the fuck
>The mom just shrugs

>Watching Cursed
>Bully is messing with the main character
>"Well what do we have here, looks like another queer on his way to fag town"
>Fat black guy in the back of the theater loudly cackles
>He can't stop laughing
>You can hear him crying from laughing so hard and muttering various things inbetween laughing
>Everyone else in the theater starts to laugh at him laughing so much

>Go see some horror movie years ago with a friend at midnight
>Theater is empty except some black woman up front
>she stars yelling
>"NAW DONT GO IN THERE"
>"WHY YOU DO THAT"
>I yell back "TELL HER"
>"YEAH SEE THIS BOI GETS IT"
>"YEAH I GET IT"
>later, a person dies from being decapitated, the woman screams.
>"OOOOH DAYUM"
>I yell back
>"DO YOU THINK SHE'S DEAD?"
>"HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GON LIVE WITH NO HEAD?"
>"I DONT KNOW MAYBE AN AMBULANCE WILL COME"
>"THEY IN THE FUCKIN WOODS"

>>86633054
>he misses valuable plot points by exiting the theatre to shit

Why even go to the theatre? I never go without a glove just in case. Bonus, prior to shitting you can use it for your popcorn to avoid getting butter/grease on your hands.

>>86649091
I can totally picture it. Black people are always so fun to watch movies with. My mom's live in nurse is black and they watch movies together a lot. I can overhear her sometimes being like "OH GURL YOU DON'T BE MESSIN WITH BOYS LIKE THAT"

>>86648740
Such a cute
I want to pick her up and kiss her

>>86641888
>>86641133
Have you ever hooked up with a tall girl? I'm 5'10" but I took a 6'1" girl's virginity in college and it was terrible. She was all awkward and lanky/bony. I'm not really about the thicc meme either but I'd much rather take a smaller/squishier girl.

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>rogue one release night
>smuggled in pizzahut extra large, double sausage, extra cheese, stuffed crust pizza
>a 2nd large pizza with the same toppings as above folded into itself because I miss the P'zone so bad and this is as close as i can get now
>2, 2 liters of pepsi
>finish all by the end of movie
>leave all my garbage on the floor and on surrounding seats
>take a massive greasy pizza shit in my pants use hands to scoop/wipe it out
>wipe excess feces from hands on the seat
>go cleap up in the theater shower room

>>86649460
did she cry? say ow??

>>86649460
get ghe fug out

>>86649155
it's an old pasta, little guy

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>>86648924
>those hips

>See movie with reserved seats
>Black girl and Latina girl sit behind us
>Two white girls come up and say I think you two are in our seats
>Black girl starts talking shit
>White girl insists they are their seats and shows them the tickets
>Black girl and Latina are losing their shit and tell them to fuck off
>White girls leave
>Black girl taunt them as they leave
>White girls come back with manager and he kicks the other girls out
>They come back a few times to talk shit to the white girls and try to challenge them to fights
>White girls just keep laughing at them

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>>86649642

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>>86649722

>>86648169
Who's the toll one?

>Watching "The Happening"
>Small crowd. Rightfully so.
>Movie is about halfway over, audience is bored to tears
>LOOOOOUUUUUD as fuck snore comes from dead center of the theater at the cripple seats.
>Audience chuckles because we all fucking agree.
>Few minutes later same volume, but now genuine snoring.
>This continues for 20 minutes on and off.
>Hear "seriously?" from someone in the nosebleeds
>Look behind my seat to find the source of the noise is the largest black man I've ever seen in my life.
>Not /fit/. We're talking TLC series fat.
>Asleep in his chair emiting the loudest snore anyone has ever conjured.
>Take it upon myself to save this shitty experience for the rest of the theater.
>Stand up, approach black snorlax
>"Hey."
>Still asleep.
>"HEY!"
>nothing
>Reallynigga?.docx
>Have to shake this mountain of a man awake
>"Mmh?" he mumbles, confused
>"You snore really really loudly, man."
>"Aw, I'm sorry, dawg."
>"Don't worry. We're all going to get through this one."
>Head back to my seat.
>Turn around 5 minutes later
>He's gone


Smartest man in the theater. He taught me an important lesson: With Shyamalan, the only winning move is not to play.

Side note: later took a number of video production classes with this giant nigga. He was alright. His name was Stacey.

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>>86649772

>>86649557
No, she didn't tell me she was a virgin till later which is rude IMO.

We had sex a few more times which continued to be somewhat awkward, made worse by the fact that she was allergic to latex so she had to go off-campus to buy weird sheep skin condoms.

3/10

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>>86648259
ask her if you can spot her while doing squats, then casually lay face up on the ground directly under her vagine

>>86646959
just looked it up on the image search. her name is annasophia robb

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>>86650186

well done lad

>>86647157
>not liking femdom and having a thicc milf laugh at you when your tiny dick isn't long enough to reach her butthole

>>86650251
I just finished if you know what I mean

>>86647433
>>86647592
>>86647612
>>86648314
someone needs to dickshop these

>>86650251
no problem. I'm here to help when I can

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>>86650539

>>86650618
why is the little kid taken aback?

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>>86647438
yuck

What is like to have sex with a 5'11" or above girl?

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>>86650618

>>86632962
Doesn't even look like a woman.

>>86650730
Like you finally understand what it's supposed to be like.
Womanlets never again.

>be American traveling around Southeast Asia
>decide to watch Batman v Superman while in Mumbai
>scene where Batman and Superman are about to fight
>middle of the dialogue the screens goes grey, lights come on and everyone leaves the theater
My friends and I were confused as fuck. Turns out they have sudden, unannounced intermissions in Indian theaters. Also South Koreans are by far the most obnoxious people to be in a movie theater with.

>>86632220
My clique did that for ten years until the theater started doing compulsory bag checks. Quality if theater time when down considerably after that.

>>86650949
>South Koreans are by far the most obnoxious people to be in a movie theater with
Why?

>>86651011
Generalizing of course but I noticed it in SK that they're usually very loud and talkative in theaters. Saw another group with us in Hong Kong and once in Japan. They always talked so I just assumed they don't have the kind of theater etiquette most Americans do.

>>86650730
see
>>86649460

Has anyone actually had a good experience watching a horror movie in the theater? I keep getting really obnoxious people.

>>86651326
Artsty horror movies at tiny theaters.
Not normie wide release ones.

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would you hire ASR as your housemaid?

>>86633443
Gay and gay.

Read this on /tv/ years ago and always remembered it for some reason, so reposting:

>be 13
>go see a movie with a friend
>there's a small group of 16-17 year old girls the row behind us
>during the previews they start kicking our chairs
>turn around
>they ask why we look like girls
>we had elbow-length hair because we were really into hard rock and metal at the time
>mumble something and turn back around
>movie starts, once in a while still get a kick to the chair
>too pussy to do something about it, my friend also
>halfway through the movie
>suddenly feel fingers on my hair
>frozen still, can't do anything
>feel my hair being pulled
>fingers leave, hear laughing
>chair kicking returns
>movie ends, lights come on
>look at my friend, he has a ponytail
>realize I have one too
>see girls leaving while laughing at us
>mfw the movie was Mean Girls
the weird thing is that now I can only wish for something like that to happen to me.
http://archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/39512741/#39513022

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>>86651977

gay

>>86651629
no
she can't reach any of the high places

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>>86652399

you can help her up

or get her a stepladder

>>86651326
Any theater with a publicly stated policy of kicking people out that actually does what they say.

The mall closest to my house has an Alamo Drafthouse knockoff. They stop selling tickets fifteen minutes early, won't let people in after the credits start, and kick people out. I know this for a fact because one of the guys in my gaming group has been booted.

>>86650779
me on the left

>>86650730
>5'11" or above girl
>girl
>she

It's pretty good though. Tranny ass is the best.

>>86652876
Do you mean like a D&D group?
D&D is extremely uncommon in my country and basically only exists in super small towns that have been playing it since the 70s.
What are those gaming groups like? Serious question. It's such a commonly referenced phenomenon and I know nothing about it

>>86651977
I had long hair in middle school and people used to light it on fire on the school bus. It was good fun for them, but my ear got badly burned one time.

>>86652991
Warhammer and board games actually. No D&D style pen and paper games.

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what is the opposite of a butter face?

>>86653304
butterbody I guess

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>>86653304

if you dare talk shit about karlie i will stab you in the neck

>>86652544
this is really hot

imagine being him

do they kiss right after?

>>86653304
"She has a cute face"

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>>86653940

>>86654019
im tired of this guy being cast as the hot guy in tv shows

>>86653304
Butterball

>>86632220
my theater doesnt care, walked in with a potbelly oreo shake in hand. worker looked at me and didnt say anything, I'm not even black.

>>86632154
>get back together with girlfriend
>go to see a movie together
>sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start
>start making out
>getting really fucking touchy feely
>pull my dick out she sucks on it
>shes not good at it
>pull down at her pants a bit
>"do you have a condom?"
>"no"
>put it in
>see people passing by looking for seats in the dark theater
>sucking on her neck
>shes soaking down there
>"fuck it feels so good anon"
>"I know baby"
>near cumming
>pullout
>ask her to suck me to completion
>i cum in her mouth
>she wants to spit it out
>pull out the pringles can out of my backpack
>finish the chips and hand it to her
>she spits it out in there
>watch the movie
>leave the can for the workers to clean

>>86655216
>things that never happened

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>tfw no gf that has to stand on her toes to kiss

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>>86656059

>>86656184

I wish that basket was my dick.

>>86655216
>pull out the pringles can out of my backpack
lol lardass.

No one wants to hear stories of your fat girlfriend sucking your dick bro.

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>>86656184
So tiny. I want to pet her.

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>>86656437

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>>86656705
She is built for cuddling

>>86655455
>>86656328
i have had sex pretty often in theaters when i was a teen, I had the can because i didn't want popcorn.
shes chinese and petite.
did the same with an exgf while in my sophomore year of highschool.
sorry youre not a white generic looking guy who cant get skinny chinese girls :^)

>>86647205
She's only into guys who are good with computers so it wouldn't matter to ou anyway.


But I'll be nice here are some clues: Banana. Sofa. Robber.

>>86658289
Her hair is so pretty

>>86649091
Did you fug her ebony pussy?

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>>86658411

>>86658530
What a mess. I'll have to brush it again.

>>this is my favorite pasta

>>86632962
Explain to me what's wrong with this or how this could be improved.
I'm serious, because I can't see it.

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>>86658595

>>86632154
>in D.C.
>boutta watch sea monsters in IMAX for the 5th time
>chilling, movie finally starts
>little prehistoric fish swimming
>scene where giant ass monster fish jumps out and eats it
>IMAX so it looks like it's coming at you
>little kid in front of me starts screaming
>loud as fuck, everyone looking
>kid begging for help, starts climbing over the seat towards me
>falls on my lap, gets tears and boogers all over me
>parents grab him, apologize and head out
>hear him screaming down the hall
>sit in boredom because nothing that interesting will happen for duration of movie
Still brings a chuckle, my own kid was laughing pretty hard at him, had to slap him in the back of the head and tell him to wait until they're gone to laugh.

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>>86658783

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>>86632962
I want to her to tease me for being 5'8" and then breed her with my big black cock

The end of a row near the exit because I have to get up to pee and don't want to step over a ton of people to go.

The last time I went with a friend I got into an argument because he wnated to sit in the very middle on a crowded night and I didn't because of the pee situation and also because I don't want to be surrounded by strangers.

QED: away from everyone with my own space

>>86658846
bitch needs to shave

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>>86659165
Leave her fuzz alone you gay nigger

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>>86659559

fuck off you faggot

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>>86635295
>get boring

No I think they just want sticks so they can show off their freakish designs better.

>>86659709
>doesn't like big black cocks
are you gay?

>>86659559
yes look up her and cam newton, desu hes a demi god

>>86659709
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI1BbU4uzmM

JUST for you bud

>>86641888
Short loving dicklet here
Who here /6.5dicklet/

>>86660132
>>86660214

>>86660214
Yes!
YES!

>>86633054
I was wondering where I left that.

>>86660294
>shameless cuck
kek

>>86633416
>>86633443
>>86633490

Kek pretty good

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>>86632962

>me and friend go to see the dark knight rises midnight premiere
>some faggot brought a baby to the movie
>the baby is crying they keep rustling through the bag to get snacks for it

in the end some kid shot up the place and made it the last movie that kid will ever ruin

overall a good theater experience

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>mfw you make it just in time for the end of the Klossy thread

>>86632154
>>86632962
why am I allowed to live on the same earth with her

she should have every right to end my life by any means

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>>86662605

>>86662549
Those fingers were in Karlies pusy

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>>86632154
Friend was a manager at a big theater back in high school/early college.

>Wednesday night
>go to a late night advanced screening of some dumb comedy, free of charge
>all of us walk out of the theater around 1am
>theater is mostly dark and there aren't many people around
>see a 30-something couple leaving the horror movie next door
>the woman runs out to the car while the man ducks into the bathroom
>I decide to take a piss
>I can hear the same guy in the stall grunting and puffing
>the stall door isn't even shut all the way and his shiny, sweaty bald head is showing through the crack in the door
>walk out and tell my friends
>we give the guy a standing ovation when he walks out of the bathroom
>somebody shouts "four stars, best poop of the year"
>man runs for the door while we roll on the floor in stitches

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>>86662915

>>86647293
>>86647247
>>86647167
>>86647013
Kendrick Lamar gets to fuck this.

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>>86632154
>Star Wars Episode III comes out
>all of my old high school friends get tickets for opening night
>drive home from college for the big event
>we buy shitty plastic lightsabers from Walmart
>make a ghetto garbage can R2D2 costume for the manlet in our group
>movie theater is packed
>Batman Begins trailer comes on
>two dudes dressed as Batman and Robin jump, point toward the sky, and run out of the theater
>about 3 minutes later a guy dressed as Spiderman does exactly the same thing
>behind us are two geeky girls dressed as Jedi
>even though it's opening night they're quoting the movie line for line
>one of them loses her shit when Padme says her "this is how democracy dies" line
>the group in front of us is a bunch of older nerds
>all of them have expensive lightsabers and Star Wars outfits
>one of them is a gay black guy who's doing a full Mace Windu
>every time Mace Windu comes on screen he cheers and calls him "muh boi!"
>on our way out the theater we run into some cute girls we knew from high school
>one of them is wearing a slave Leia outfit and we get to see ass and titty we waited nearly 2 years for
>nerds all form into a mob outside the theater waving lightsabers and cheering
>the police are called and it turns into a lightsaber mosh pit with cops asking people to just go home
>we stayed out until the wee hours of the morning just bullshitting with other Star Wars fans at a diner nearby
>one of the best memories of my youth
>children today will never know what that's like

>>86663767

>spouting 2 year old dead memes

>>86663808
lmao God Bless

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>>86632962
>Karlie Kloss
This 11/10 girl is also an entrepreneur who is already more successful in business than you will ever be

how does that make you feel?

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>>86664068
>how does that make you feel?
h-horny..

>>86664068
She is also dating Jared Kushner's brother and has access to the president. 12/10 job in life

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>>86664068

makes my willy hard

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>>86664068
Female privilege knows no bounds

>>86664299
i love how the code is just hello world too

>>86664068
Happy for her. I like pretty, rich white girls. The world is really all about them.

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>>86664717
pretty
rich
white
girl
>you will never be even 2 of those things

>>86664821
Yeah, but we get to look at them, which is nice.

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>>86664717

>>86665976
I cant even imagine what life is like on super easy tutorial mode (aka pretty rich white girl mode)

everyone thinks you're great. you never fail at anything you attempt. and even if you do manage to fuck up, there are an infinite amount of people to help you and apologize for you.

it's baffling

>>86659100
>QED
I found the fag, everybody.

>>86659559
No I'm not gonna post my penis on 4chan.

>>86666666

>>86666076
People aren't magically problem free depending on their lifestyle. Suffering is subjective and it's almost a guarantee people like this go through their own versions of suffering. Be jealous of the lifestyle, but don't assume they don't have problems as painful as you or i

>>86666666

>>86666488
>>86666848
>HAHA LOOK AT THE NUMBERS
fuck off >>>/b/-reject

>>86632220
>Entire set of Chinese food
?????

>>86666993
Fuck you, you fun hating kike

>>86666624
You're an idiot. I went from earning enough to be considered lower middle class in India to earning enough to be considered upper middle class in Denmark.

I can tell you that this relative suffering is all BS unless you have some mental disease.

>>86632962
If I was hyper-rich I would pay millions for a porn fetish video where she bully and molest her best friend Taylor Swift

>>86633601
What the fuck is nu-metal clothing? Honest question

>>86649044
Was she a cutie?

>>86669703
Spiky platform bootsand oversized cargo pants with ribbons hanging from every seam, that was the signature bottom half. I don't remember what they wore on top.

>>86632154
How fucking short is everyone here that karlie is taller than them?

>>86632154
Nigga you ain't lived until you seen a Madea movie in a packed nigger theater. It's how those movies are meant to be viewed.

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>>86636581
What's with her teeth and mouth, looks like a figurine painted by someone with access only to the standard palette.

>there are people on /tv/, RIGHT NOW, who don't know who ASR is

what the fuck happened to this board, bros

>>86641888
I'll take one of each m8

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>>86670920
it's a great tragedy

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really....made me thonk

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>>86672137
STICCCCCCC

>>86672137
yay

still no garlie gf

>>86632220
this black guy i know managed to sneak in a family sized bucket of kfc under his jacket

>>86672596
>jawline isn't sharply defined all around
0/10

>>86650779
>the way he grabs her legs
Will she sue him?

>>86650779
God I wish it were me

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>>86650251
Karlie made that outfit look 1000000000x better

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>>86650779
>left: 5'11"
>right: 6'0"

>>86655216
So while your gf had semen in her mouth, she communicated to you her desire to spit it out. You went into your backpack, retrieved a can of pringles, then ate god knows how many pringles (it was at least a handful, otherwise why would you have kept the can?) before offering it to her as an alternative semen receptacle.

You are a complete moron regardless of whether this story is true.

>>86664299
The modern world is bullshit.
This is why women and their vaginas do not belong in the workplace. Men lose their shit and cater to women, they barely make an effort and incompetence prevails.

>>86676103
>men being unable to control their basal impulses is somehow women's fault

This is why we need feminism.

>>86673557
models tend to do that.

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>>86672596
She has a cute neck

>>86676221
Or segregation. Women bosses for women workers evaluated solely on merit. Let's see if you can really compete without men propping you up.

>>86676221
If anything would make men not treat women nicely it's feminism

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>>86676319
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm yessss very nice

>>86635134
the industry is run by gay men. they just want glorified clothes hangers.

>>86634850
I agree

>>86640664
>Always do the same joke
You aren't welcome here on /tv/. We're better than that.

>>86670072
>nu-male
>cargo pants with ribbons
>spiky boots
we used to call those goths or ravers