>The first thing Snape asks Harry is “Potter! What would

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I wonder what you would need to add in order to make Harry Potter not one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"Brap!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>86595000
you're doing god's work

>>86595000
reminder that the nba killed jordans dad so he would retire

>>86594791
what does this add to the scene

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>>86594791

>>86594791
Severus Snape is also an anagram of Persues Evans, Evans being Lily's surname.

>>86594791
I think that if you combined that, it really meant
>Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of my regrets follow you to the grave to an infusion of absence?”

>>86595000
What a lazy opening

>"Potter! What would I get if I added 12 inches of blackroot to an infusion of lilypusy?"

Never caught this one before now

>>86595000
Too fast fake fuck

>>86594791
And then Harry replies saying "I don't know sir...but CLEARLY Hermione knows."
Does this mean Hermione knew about Snape and Lily all that time?!

Is Harry Potter worth reading as an adult if you never experienced it as a child and never saw the movies?

>>86596411
"No!"

>>86595000
>that shitty intro

Wasted trips.

>>86596411
It won't be the same experience, but it's still a good read. Depends if you're into fantasy and magic and stuff. Do note that the books grow slightly grimmer with each new one, so don't judge the series by the first book.

>Snape asks a first year about a sixth course potion that is basically coma in a bottle

Did he not read the course guide? Not even motherfucking Voldemort would know about it. What a vindicative cuck.

>>86595000
I think this guy actually starts these threads specifically to post his pasta. In which case, you're my favorite autist on here alongside the barneyfag guy.

>>86596411
Yes, but is not a very intelectual reading, and it hangs so much in itself that you end up reading not because you want to know more, but because it's a very, VERY light reading that you breeze through.
Is like watching one deux ex machina after the other in a setting in which deus ex machinas exists, normal humans can't use them, and wizard humans can but don't because they are accustomed to deux ex stickandstonas.
So EVERYTHING can happen, but very common things happen, and friendship and love is the real answer.

>>86596411

Save yourself some money and read fanfiction off the internet.

>Poor as fuck parents who abused him
>Ugly as fuck
>Half blood sorted into Slytherin during Voldemort's first nazi reign
>Bullied by rich, popular, quidditch captaining pureblooded chad's
>headmaster sweeps you aside when your tormentors almost kill you
>Only childhood friend and later obsessive love interest ditches you after a fit of rage caused by chad
>later marries chad
>unknowingly gives a prophecy to voldemort, putting a target on his former friend
>becomes Dumbledore's ass slave
>she dies anyway
>forced into teaching what is possibly the gayest part of magic school, potions class
>eleven years later he is forced to witness the literal reincarnation of chad walking into his living hell

>>86596772
It's a couple of people apparently. Even genuine fans who like discussing Harry Potter on /tv/ post it. Thread wouldn't be the same without it.

>>86597095
I know I did, a couple of times.
It was an honour, really.
Almost like duty, to be the one left with the torch to do it.

>>86596411
Absolutely horrible literature. MacGuffins out the ass and it is blatantly apparent that the money-grubbing author wrote herself into a corner. Steer clear and save yourself the time.

>>86596907
How am I supposed to understand fanfiction if I don't know anything about the original?

>>86595495
The fuck... It's a whole new scene son.

>>86597040
One of my favorite bits of the books was finding out Harry's father wasn't this idealized good guy and that he and his mates regularly physically and mentally abused a young Snape.

Also what are you talking about, Potions is like the best subject. The students just hate it because Snape's a dick all the time. Brewing potions that can do just about anything is much better than Defence Against the Dark Arts, which ranges from boring defensive spells to tending to magical creatures for some reason even though there's already a whole subject dedicated to that.

>>86597321
>can do just about anything
>Most are variations of "it will kill/cripple you"
>The rest are variations of "It makes you do funny stuff but will wear off
>Only three or four "It makes you do impossible stuff, but will wear off/cripple you

Imagine being a chef. Danger is an awesome trait for a hobby. Danger in cooking exceptionally hard meals with cooking times ranging 2 3 hours to a year, makes it both boring and stupid.

>>86597234
Any thing that has a prominent fanfiction community also is likely to have plenty members who have never experienced the original but still know all about it because they for some god forsaken reason read enough fanfiction that they can piece the details together themselves.

It's weird but suprisingly common.

>>86597321
Why not just create a "polyjuice" spell?

Or some other bullshit, why bother spending like nine million hours brewing scrotum smoothing potions when some vague wand movements and latin chanting will inevitably be discovered to remedy the same problem?

>>86597040
only a woman could write this and still have Snape protect Harry.

>>86597599
This.

There's no reason why Snape didn't just poison everyone the moment Dumbledore decided to award six million points to Harry at the end of the first book.

>>86597599
Im a guy and if my oneitis who married a Chad somehow died tragically, I would protect her son if I could

>fooled the most powerful Legilimens to ever live for years
>stayed calm and cool all the time even though with any minor slip-up Voldy wouldve tortured him to death
>3rd-most powerful wizard in the books
>Master Duelist
>SJW-destroyer, smug cunt Hermione was repeatedly BTFO by him
>saved Harry about 74646376483847 times
>repented for his past evil
>witty
>straight-A's
>professor
>remained loyal to his waifu to the bitter end and then some

Snape is twice the man any of the /tv/irgins are, and Im being kind to the /tv/irgins

>>86597588
>Why not just create a "polyjuice" spell
Viktor krum casted a "polyshark" spell on half his body and Slughorn casted a full body "polycouch" spell.
Hermione casted a "desfigurated face" spell to make Harry look like a different guy
As far as I know, the elements are ALMOST there. It may be just hack writing.

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>>86595000
Huh only just noticed this

>>86596466
kek

>>86595000
>"Brap!"
my sides

>>86597876
>Harry Potter
>victim of hack writing
No, no no no. Absurd.

>>86597482
>>86597494
There's loads of stuff potions can do. Change your appearance, the ability to make everything go perfectly for you, making people fall in love. If I were a student I'd definitely be looking up all kinds of potions in the library, learning everything about them and brewing them in secret.
Also this could just be me but I quite like the idea of slowly brewing a potion to perfection over time. Just taking your time, throwing in some ingredients every now and then, giving it a stir. It's relaxing. It's like fishing.

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>>86596411
Not at all

>>86598072
that does sound pretty comfy

>>86597875
based Snape

>>86597821
>my crush's chad son
don't worry, just date a girl who is into harry potter and she probably won't cheat on you

>>86598072
>brewing them in secret.
Except you are in a school and you can't do that. Hermione brewing a perfect potion over the course of 6-9 months without noone noticing is absolutely retarded.
Is not like fishing, you do nothing while fishing. It looks like cooking. It works like cooking (only absurdly longer time wise). It must be like cooking.

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>what does a bullshit flower language invented later in the series mean if used on a bullshit botanical equation used earlier in the series?
>something totally deep and totally planned from the start!
whenever a plot element from the future interacts with something from the past with no single previous indication, there's a 90 percent chance that it was only written to seem like it was totally intentional and planned out when in reality it probably meant jack shit when it was first written.

>>86597482
Polyjuice potion is the stuff fetishes are made out of.

>>86597875
>was cucked

>>86598426
Are you retarded? Victorian flower language isn't a Harry Potter concept.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_of_flowers

>>86597876

You can alter your appearance with magic, but it's a variety of spells for every little feature that you have to do/undo. The potion is just a simpler solution.

>>86598365
theres literally nothing wrong with being a cuckold. My wife cheated on me like 5 times in the first 10 years, but she grew out of the phase and we grew together, she hasnt cheated in 10 years and we are both happy with 3 sons. If you really love a woman, you can forgive her sins

>>86598372
Nobody used that bathroom because of Moaning Myrtle, that's the only conceit needed, and it also happily explains why nobody ever found the Chamber of Secrets in the next book.

>>86594791

>‘My regrets follow you to the grave’

Wouldn't that mean you stopped having regrets now that they're dead?

>>86598372
There's loads of secret places in Hogwarts. Obviously I'd find a secluded place people didn't know about, and there's always the Room of Requirement.
And the way you describe potion making isn't right. It's not like you have to stand over a cauldron for six months constantly adding ingredients and stirring. The potions that take a long time to complete just have to brew for a long time. Check on it every day, sure, but it's not like cooking a steak for six months. Plus there's potions that can be completed in as little as 90 minutes, as shown in the books several times when they finish an entire potion from start to finish in one class.

>>86597679
Based Armond, he succeed at being more contrarian than 4chan

>>86595300

why would (((stern))) want the league's biggest draw to leave when he had spent years rigging the nba to make jordan the biggest superstar in sports?

>>86597876
There is an entire subject of Transfiguration after all.

>>86599269
That always seemed like the most interesting concept but it was kinda wasted. All they do is try and change hedgehogs into pincushions, I don't think they even start human transfiguration until 7th year and then you've got one year to try and nail that and after that you're on your own.

>>86599005
it's movies for children. it's "contrarian" to like that garbage

>>86598670
The kids are yours?

>>86599405
What's to stop Harry transfiguring Ron's face into a giant cock?

Maybe that's why they didn't teach it earlier.

>>86598793
No, because Harry is alive.

>>86594791
Holy shit. Is Rowling the American Tolkien?

>>86598372
Making jam, cooking stew and brewing alcohol are all forms of 'cooking' as well and can take between hours and years. Potions are essentially the same principle.

I mean Mad Eye Moody was brewing potions in secret, as well as a number of other teachers and students.

>>86599486
Sure, but after five years of messing about with teacups and small rodents every single week I think a lot of people got bored with it and didn't go for the N.E.W.T. course. Apparently it's incredibly difficult as well and only Hermione has ever been noted to successfully do something in class. None of the others ever managed it.

>>86596411
It's worth listening to the audiobooks during a long road trip.

I've probably listened to all of them a dozen times because Jim Dale does such a good job with the voices.

>>86599804
I loved the audiobooks, but I always listened to the Stephen Fry ones and he's brilliant. It's like being read a bedtime story by your uncle.

Never heard of Jim Dale. I assume he did the American version?

>>86599448
Learn what the word contrarian is.

Harry potter is patrician

Harry potter is the best movie series

>>86599999

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>>86594791
>Rowling can't even get the dates correct in her books
>Seriously thinking this was intentional

Why did they decorate the school with Slytherin shit just to tell those little kids they didn't actually win? Is it so they can learn what disappointment is at an early age?

>>86600100
Because Harry and his group of friends are all more important than everyone else, and Dumbledore felt the need to proclaim that.

>>86600170
It's a miracle Harry didn't end up being a pompous spoiled little shit what with all the favoritism he's shown from just about any adult person in his life. Snape was right in treating him like shit, making sure it didn't all go to his head.

>>86595214
>autist being autistic and having shit taste and seething at harry potter being kino is gods work
Yea maybe on a dead board.

>>86600297
He was starved, isolated, ridiculed and generally tormented from an early age by his blood relatives, so it's not that surprising.

What's more interesting is that he wasn't more of a survivalist, loner type considering his upbringing.

reminder the copy pasta is literally propaganda pushed by a friendless kid that's here 20 hours a day.

>>86600428
The pasta's a joke, anon. No one takes it seriousl--
>seething at harry potter being kino
Oh I see, guess I fell for it.

>>86596411
Yes but you should watch the films and read them

>>86600297
>>86600456
Is there any evidence Dumbles didn't do this intentionally? It's a full-blown trope of fanfiction but it's hard to imagine he didn't know or look into how the saviour of the world was being treated.

>>86600532
>>86596411
The movies cut out so much material they don't make a lot of sense without knowing the books, particularly prisoner of Azkaban.

>>86600515
More than half are kino and all are better than most shit posted here lad

>>86600559
No you're wrong the films make sense if you aren't a retard. They are straight forward enough for anyone stop being a dumbass. I just watched azkaban its easy to follow and focuses on harry.

>>86600576
I like the books even now, but claiming the movies are great cinema is offensive.

>>86600559
Considering he left a baby on a doorstep, taking an interest in Harry's upbringing wasn't his highest priority.

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>>86600861
The films are 1000 times better than the books and are kino besides 4 get some taste aka leave this reddit board where an autist pushes and mimics a gay nigger

Best film series ever made. An achievement of cinema.

>>86601045
>ourguy
>positive reviews for spiderman, wonder woman, baby driver, kong, trainspotting2, star wars ro, lalaland, moana,
lmao maybe if you're a redtourist(which you are) then sure "our guy" makes sense

>>86600640
You're missing out on a lot of the plot from the book though with Azkaban. Not to mention Goblet of Fire which scrapped nearly half of the book's plot.
Sure they're easy to follow and they make sense, but you're missing out on a hell of a lot of plot and backstory that really enrich the story and characters. Barty Crouch Jr.'s entire plot was decimated.

>>86600576
>>86600861
I'm a huge fan and I love the films. A massive amount of dedication and work was put into them and you can't wish for a better cast full of A-list, cream-of-the-crop British actors (the adults obviously). But I wouldn't call all of them kino, I think. Great entertainment, great production values, but in the end they're just comfy blockbusters to enjoy as a fan.

>>86595000
This is literally one of the very few reasons I browse /tv/.

>>86597040

>Potions
>Gayest

No, that's Herbology.

>>86598670

What's it like to have no testosterone or self-esteem?

>>86601323
>missing plot
>being a plotfag
I couldn't care less and certain ones are kino its not even a question idc how new to this board you are

>>86601137
>pushes a gay nigger who likes movies worse than that
I guess that just makes you a wrong dumb fucking slut who won't stop being triggered

>>86601012
It is a bit weird how he just left the baby on the doorstep. But Dumbledore did keep an eye on Harry over the years in various ways.
He cast that charm on the Dursley's house which ensured Voldemort or his followers wouldn't be able to harm Harry there until he became of age. He wrote to Petunia in detail about this charm and made sure she kept Harry and not to kick him out.

Mrs Figg kept an eye on Harry throughout his childhood, on orders from Dumbledore. She knew about how the Dursley's treated him (when Harry had to go to her house as a child while the Dursleys went to a theme park or whatever, she'd always bore him to death by showing pictures of her cats all day long. When Harry later finds out she's working for Dumbledore she says she had to bore him because if the Dursley's ever thought Harry was having a good time at Mrs. Figg's they'd instantly forbid him from going there again)
I assume she reported this stuff to Dumbledore, but he never did anything about it.

>>86601442
What was even the point of Herbology? Just dealing with deadly plants and collecting potion ingredients it seems.

Also good job on ignoring the obvious troll everyone. Just don't reply to his rantings and he'll go away.

>>86596411
"No!"

>>86601682
That was quite a pretty movie, though the brown filter was overused in non-exciting scenes.

>>86601682
>>86602092
Half Blood Prince was just great. It felt a lot lighter than previous films, which was a welcome surprise. After the whole Voldemort returning angst and Umbridge taking over Hogwarts, it was just nice to have a bit of a breather. Seeing the characters experiencing romance was great, and there were more funny moments than in any other of the films. It got back that comfy feeling of the first few films.
Obviously the end was a lot darker, but I appreciate how the story builds up to the climax while maintaining a nice, comfortable atmosphere for most of the film

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>>86595000
>"Brap!"

>>86601323
What'd they cut out of Azkaban?

>>86602645
I don't believe they ever showed or hinted at that James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were the inventors of the Marauder's Map. There's a lot of stuff in the Shrieking Shack scenes they cut. There was an entire chapter of backstory for the Marauders, how they all trained to become an Animagus for Lupin etc. I get that they cut it because they didn't want the climax to be cluttered with Lupin talking for fifteen minutes for exhibition, but yeah you do miss a lot of stuff if you only watch the adaptation.

>>86594791

>how many rat-tails are in minkerfoils?

>>86601682
Damn that looks nice.

>>86595000
What sort of fucking degenerate do you have to be to violate the sanctity of ""No!""?

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>>86599804
>not listening the the dulcet tones of Stephen Fry

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How did Hermione's parents (who were both dentists) allow for their daughter to attend a school for witchcraft and wizardry?

>>86602092
Delbonnel wanted it to look like a Rembrandt painting. They used earthy tones like red yellow green and brown.
>>86602547
Yea I thought the comedy and drama melded very nicely. They said it was the last time they could really make it funny so they did it as much as they could, with hallows coming up idk why people disliked that

>>86603368
why do wizards use medievil tier technology instead of cars and guns?

its a film about magic, shit happens without any reason

>>86603368
How do any muggle parents let their kids go? They were aware and let them go? They probably can talk to dumbledore or someone if they had questions. They showed her parents with her in diagon alley shopping for school supplies

>>86603352
Stephen Fry is a sick man, trying to push his own filthy segments into the audiobooks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW_7FzbYsEI

>>86595000

Judging by the way this is written, you do not attend a prestigious University and you're definitely dealing with this badly.

Assuming you're of Uni age, of course. It's passable for an edgy teen, I suppose.

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>>86595300
reminder that this beautiful man shitposted with us instead of doing his job for 3 years

>>86599150
big j had(and still does) a huge gambling problem

>>86603368
I assume there's a lengthy letter added to the Hogwarts invitation especially for Muggle-borns, explaining a lot of stuff. Seeing as everyone would think it was a practical joke I also assume there's some kind of team of wizards who go round to the houses of Muggle-born children and try to explain the situation to the parents, doing some magic to prove they're for real.

You should also remember that wizards and witches almost always show signs of magic from a young age (Harry's hair growing back in one day after Petunia shaved him bald, the disappearing glass at the zoo). The same sort of thing probably happened with Hermione a couple of times in her youth. So Hermione's parents probably connected the dots after getting an explanation from an official wizard.

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>>86603482
Wizards are very hesitant when it comes to using human technology.

>>86598494
He is like the pinnacle of what /r9k/ could hope for

>>86601323
I still can't get over Goblet of Fire and it's the sole reason I want a remake of the movies in 10 years time. It's my favorite book primarily for the excellent plot which was full of twists and turns and red herrings. Sure, some parts of require some suspension of disbelief but overall the book was a really tense whodunnit that kept you guessing until the very end. Barty was a fantastic idea for a villain and I loved his story and motives. Maybe one day we'll see GoF adapted properly, I hope so anyway.

>>86604395
I share your Barty love. The way WB (and Rowling) keeps milking the HP franchise I'm positive there will be remakes in the future, perhaps even spanning alternate reality stories where Barty Jr. survived and joined Voldemort which was always a wish of mine

I mean, the way Disney is pumping out Star Wars stuff like crazy I can see WB keeping the Potter brand alive for years to come

>>86604395
Goblet (and every book after it for that matter) would need to be a two part film, it's over two and a half hours long and it's still an incoherent mess

>>86604868
I agree. And they've come out openly and said that they wanted to make Goblet of Fire into two films but there were too many problems, like where to end part one (honestly, I'm stumped as well for that one), and the fact that the child actors were all growing up and if they started splitting films from Goblet onwards the main trio would've been nearing thirty by the time of Hallows 2.

I'm just saying, if they ever remake the films they've got the groundwork and experience down. A second chance could very well work if they do a shitload of pre-production and manage a filming schedule that would enable the newly-cast child actors to do all the films within 7-10 years.

>>86603521
Based

>>86595000
>chaning the 'no'

Fuck you queer

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>>86595000
>Glow in the Dark

Is Snape the Hitler of the harry potter series? Like how everyone thinks hes the bad guy but he turns out to be right all along?

>>86603521
I love these. Wish he'd make some more one day.

Would you fuck Bellatrix? I think that'd be the most intense and possibly painful sex ever.
Or do you prefer someone else? Not Hermione, she's too obvious

>>86607592
Depends how thoroughly she'd been cleaned since Azkaban.

And best girl is obviously Luna.

>>86596411
it's alright. the last book sucks ass, though.

>>86598670
lmao, pls don't be bait! tell us more! which of the Chads who banged your wife got her pregnant three times? Or are the kids from three different fathers?

>>86607592

She's like the ulitmate Stacy and would probably put in no effort but I'd have to give Fleur a try.

>>86596907
>>86597494
I think Harry Potter has the worst fanfiction community. Feels like every story is a variation of

>Sirius left Harry a shitload of money
>He gets together with Hermione
>Dumbledore and Ron suck

>>86607592
Ginny starting in her third year.

>>86597876
>there is a potion that gives you godly amount of luck
>no ones uses it
Yeah, it is just bad writing

>>86607641
>Depends how thoroughly she'd been cleaned since Azkaban.
I'd want her to be dirty. She used to be conventionally attractive before she went to Azkaban, according to the books. But I want the batshit insane Bellatrix, gnarled hair and unkempt appearance and everything.

>>86607806
Fleur'd be good for a fuck, definitely. But I agree, her vain attitude and her consciousness of her beauty wouldn't be good for settling down with. Not that Bellatrix would make for a good wife, mind.

>>86608042
I think BDSM would be more up her league

>>86607859
I've only once done some research on HP fanfiction. There appears to be this huge project called Methods of Rationality which I think retells all seven books except Harry is some Darwinian intellectual who relies on reason and logic for some reason.

The rest I saw was mostly Sirius and Harry stuff, probably fueled by fans who couldn't get over Sirius's death, and a lot of Harry and Hermione stuff yeah.

I dunno, I had a quick look a few years ago but didn't like what I saw. It's not for me I guess. But I hear it's still thriving.

>>86608239
I'm pretty sure any sexual intercourse with Bellatrix would involve the Cruciatus Curse, sharp fingernails and biting. You could never tame her though and make her yours. She'll always yearn for Voldemort and just see you as a plaything.

>>86607641
>best girl is obviously Luna.
She'd make for the best wife. Cute, devoted, slightly autistic but not in a troubling way.

>>86607875
Why specifically Ginny in her third year?

No Cho-fags here? Something about the combination of Asian looks and Scottish accent really gets my wand steady

>>86607803
I actually saw a heavily upvoted comment on reddit praising cuckholding due to raising a superior genetic child

>>86609359
What is this world coming to? Each to their own and stuff, but praising the act of having your significant other have sex with strangers is just something I'll never get my head around.

>>86607592
Nymphadora for me. Imagine the possibilities of a woman capable of instant-polyjuicing. You'd never get bored.

>>86597875

He was an evil asshole until he fucked up and caused Lilly's death.

>>86610165
Not really evil. Just a teenager with a shit upbringing discovering the secrets of magic at Hogwarts. It's not hard to see how Snape fell into the dark arts considering his life up to then. He also had no friends, was bullied constantly etc, no wonder he tried to hide behind a group of up-and-coming Death Eaters. Lily was his only friend and she hooked up with his top bully while at school.

>>86609359
Have you got a link? I'd like to learn something about humans today.

>>86610494
They're not humans. They're a sect endlessly indoctrinating each other with ridiculous ideas about open-mindedness gone mental by the sound of it.

>>86610598
we still have to share a planet with those sociopaths, I'd like to know how they think

>>86610665
Oh sorry, I'm not that anon and don't have a link or anything. Googling could help. I really hope that it's as easy as that, rather than there being thousands of discussions on there about the benefits of cuckoldry.

>>86594791
Wow, I'm sure all three botanists who watched the movie thought that was ingenious.

>>86610994
To be fair, I'm very certain Rowling didn't intend that at all. There's various stuff in Harry Potter that the hardcore fanbase looked into like maniacs and came back with plausible theories or hidden messages and Rowling just went "Uh...yeah! How clever of you to find that!", even though she never purposely put that stuff in.
Best example is the whole thing about "Severus Snape" being an anagram of "Pursues Evans". Rowling saw that on twitter, thought it would make her look good and made it official that she'd planned that.

The problem being that the anagram doesn't work at all seeing as Pursues Evans needs two "u" letters which Snape's name doesn't have, and it only contains two "e" letters, while Snape's name contains three. Embarrassing.

>>86595000
>God-Tier
>The Great Gatsby
The only one on the list that I'm rather confused by.

>>86594791
Snake remains by far my favorite aspect of the Harry Potter series

>>86595000
Fake and gay

>>86611524
Why would Nagini be your favorite character? Not a single line and contributes next to nothing before getting killed

>>86600034
>>Rowling can't even get the dates correct in her books

No fucking way she is this bad

>>86611524
Only in the movies. The Snape in the books is just written too poorly. The dude is pure fucking evil.

>>86603368
Hermoine's parents obviously hated her. In most of the books she goes to school for 10 months or so. And even on X-Mas vactation, she rarely spends it with her parents. Then summer comes along, she goes home for a week or two and then ends up at Rons place, or the place of the Order. She literally only spends a week or two with her parents each year from 11 to 17.

>>86612125
Yea cause they are mudbloods prolly live in tent in calais

>>86611958
I watched a documentary last night about her publishing the final book and she put the Battle of Hogwarts in 1997. This seems likely at first glance because Harry goes to Hogwarts each year starting from 1991, so his last year would be 1997. Rowling just forgot that the Battle for Hogwarts happened in May, AFTER new years eve, so it wouldn't been 1998.

>>86611997
He's very hard to read in the books. But in the movies you can sense a certain something in the acting. Perhaps to do with Rowling telling Alan Rickman in complete secret the exact role Snape was going to play.

File: chainsmokingtoforget.jpg (72KB, 544x765px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 544x765px

>>86595000
>>86595000
>He thinks atlas shrugged is a good book

Hows moms tendies you neckbeard libertarian elitist shitstain?

>>86603807
Lmao wizards literally shit themselves

>>86612282
>He hates freedom
If you get the opportunity, you should kill yourself.

>>86603807
Wait, so when the Basilisk first roamed about in Salazar's day, there weren't any pipes for it to crawl through Hogwarts?

>>86612367
Libertarianism is the ideology of autistic morons and actual scumbags like the Koch brothers.

How does it feel to be sucking the kool aid so hard that you've actually been convinced that corporations give two fucks about your well being?

>>86596411
Sincerely and unironically no. The movies are decent enough just watch them. The books are very clearly for children and there is almost nothing there to hold the attention of an adult. There not even particularly good from a fantasy perspective. Just read a real book instead.

>>86612442
Keep posting. You seem smart.

>>86604395
>>86604868

Would do better as a TV show. So many comfy middle of the book moments that were dropped from the movies. They could keep the sideplots, give more characters room to grow, and actually have all the quidditch matches

>>86612460
I see what you mean, but why did it get such a huge following of adults then?

>>86612533
I've often said that a GoT style 10 one-hour episode series per book would work. Enough time to fit in the original subplots.

>>86612516
Smarter than any fucking retard who seriously considers libertarian a viable belief system.

All libertarians are autistic morons. Full stop.

>>86612176
In the movies he's a dick but still does stuff that seems redeamable, like when Lupin turned in Prisoners of Azkaban, Snape put himself infront of the kids to protect them.

But in the books he's just evil. Torments Hermione, Harry, etc.

>>86603807
So you're telling me they didn't have designated shitting streets?

>>86612751
What do you have against property rights and voluntary trade?

>>86612706

The movies never quite gave me that magical mystery feeling whenever they snuck around the castle, a TV show would allow them to explore the castle more and actually follow the books closely.

Would be nice to see all the classroom parts when they scheme plans for their late night adventures

>>86612762
He acts like a dick but between the lines he's always looking after Harry. Like you said with Lupin in Azkaban. And constantly trying to expel Harry could be seen as Snape protecting Harry by sending him back to the Dursleys where he knew Dumbledore's charm would protect him.

As for Snape being horrible to Hermione and Neville etc, he's just a bitter old fuck who hates his life. We all know teachers like that. He's not a nice guy, but he was always thinking of the greater good, keeping Harry safe so he could eventually take down Voldemort, the man who killed his waifu.

>>86612891
The movies gave me that feeling in every single one maybe you're just retarded and like watching shit tier television . Game of thrones is shit direction wise and adaptation wise. You're so gullible along with this fucking idiot >>86612706
All the movies were good to great

>>86612868
>tfw you shoot the child slaves running across your yard escaping from your neighbor's compound because they were trespassing

>>86596411
Yes, but try and not have extremely high expectations

>>86612995
When I said GoT-style, I obviously didn't mean the style of the show.
I meant turning every book into 10 episodes of about one hour. It's the only way to go if they ever want to remake the films. Unless you want 6-hour films or every book after Azkaban being split into two parts.

The films were great, I'd just love to see an adaptation that's able to keep all the subplots and characterization from the books without skipping everything, and the only way I can see that happening is with a high budget HBO series.

>>86613092
>He thinks libertarians want slavery to be legal.
>He thinks libertarians say it's ok to shoot someone for running on your lawn.
Now I see what I am arguing with.

What's wrong with Stephen King? Besides him being a leftist faggot

>>86594791
Squirtle=Squirrel+Turtle

Okay I dont mean to sound far fetched, but was Rowling implying Voldemort is Trump. Here:
Both racist- mudblood vs nigger
both sexist-rapes mom vs grabs pussy
both odd colors- white vs orange
both bald- trump hides his with toupee
both evil- kills vs pussy grab
both defeated by colorful and diverse crowd. Love(<3) Trumps hate!

>>86613570
Yes. 25 years ago she knew he'd be President.

>>86613586
The genius of Rowling never ceases to suprise me.

Do you ever practice Occlumency?
Completely emptying your mind when you're trying to fall asleep. It's not easy, but if it works it's a great way to doze off

>>86612940
The Lupin thing was ONLY in the movies. In the books his only concern was making sure Sirius was killed.

But in the books he only ever tried to save Harry's life once. And he never went easy on him. The opposite, he did everything in his power to make Harry's life a living hell. For someone so adamantly in love with Lilly it seems dumb. It was just too much overkill to prove a point that Snape wasn't to be trusted, and then surprise he was actually good. But she had already written him to be so unlikable, so evil that his sacrifice was simply meh.

Like I said, the movie Snape was so much better.

>>86613975
I'm a master of it, I can say with 100% certainty that no one has ever been able to get into my mind. That's how good I am.