Yes, well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin...HOWEVER

Harry Potter is shit. All Millennials should fucking hang.

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Yes yes well done, Slytherin, well done Slytherin, HOWEVER - there are some last minute issues we need to take into account.well, actually there's only one issue, and that's that Slytherin house is a part of one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>86483478
ty pasta-san

>>86483478
It's incredible how fast this guy is every time. Either a group of anons have taken it upon themselves to always post this as soon as they see a HP thread, or it's just one guy constantly refreshing the catalog, waiting.

>>86483478
I fell into this trap. JK Rowling to Stephen king pipeline. I am out now but damn this anon speaks the truth.

>>86483309
Harry Potter: The Sorcerer's Stone is a propoganda tool to have young children support affirmative action. Slytherin won the House Cup because they were the most qualifiied. Dumbledore only gave Gryyfindor the House Cup because of "institutionalized housism". Gryfindor clearly has the lower IQ.

>>86485474
>this anon speaks the truth.
Thats actually a quote from king
>And if these millions of readers are awakened to the wonders and rewards of fantasy at 11 or 12 . . . well, when they get to age 16 or so, there's this guy named King
http://www.nytimes.com/books/00/07/23/reviews/000723.23kinglt.html

>>86485780
>Dumbledore only gave Gryyfindor the House Cup because of "institutionalized housism"
That's not strictly true. I mean. Harry DID just prevent the second coming of Voldemort, that's got to be worth something. The final points to Neville was a too much though. But the way Dumbledore fucked over the Slytherins by decorating the Great Hall with their flags before suddenly changing them to Gryffindor was a dick move.

>>86483478
I've seen this a million times, but while I don't agree with just about anything in that pasta, it is true that Rowling's prose is very repetitive and feels amateuristic at times.
"stretched his legs" is one thing, but there are so many other examples. I think ", said Hermione, tentatively" is used about five times every two chapters.
It's also full of lines like "Ron looked at her, with a face as if he could not believe his ears", or worst of all "She gave him a sort of I-know-where-this-is-going gaze". What the hell kinda face is that? Use your vocabulary, woman.

All in all it's still enjoyable, but should never be seen as, or compared to, real literature. But I suppose that's the joke.

I have fond memories of the Harry Potter books, especially since the first came out when I was 11 and that was Harry's age, so they were easy to relate to. Lookin back, the story and writing are pretty bad overall, but it had some cool stuff in them.

The movies were mostly trash.

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>>86487196
b-but emma watson

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>>86483309
Why did they have to get this guy to play Tom Riddle in HBP? He looks like an whiny emo faggot. The guy in Chamber of Secrets looked way better.

>>86487272
Agreed. It had been about nine years though so maybe he looked too old for the part

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>>86483355
>hes over 35
Ok gramps, back to the home. This aint no country for old men.

>>86487256
No!

>>86483309
Fuck Dumbledore. No backbone. Faggot rule breaking favoritist.

>>86483309
Slytherin kids get treated like this by the rest of the school, where there are teachers who say things like "wasn't a wizard in Slytherin that didn't go bad", and then everyone wonders why they turn out to be conceited, insular dickholes?

>>86483478
BASED

That's what you get when you start your series as a magical fairy-tale children's book but slowly try to progress it to a more adolescent-themed story. The jokey, random elements you start out with (first year at school and Harry secured the House Cup for Gryffindor for the first time in years, wow!), start to seem stupid and immature when compared to later storylines and story elements.
The whole concept of house points becomes irrelevant and uninteresting by the time people are being murdered left and right and an immortal and all-powerful racist threatens everyone's existence.

>>86491123
It's almost as if the first book was a genuine attempt at creating a cute modern fairy tale. It all went downhill after that.

>>86491123
I genuinely thought Hagrid won the house cup at the end of the second movie.

>>86491650
But...why...?

>>86483309
Slytherin? to the dungeon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjaosdWtdZA

>>86483309
Fantastic Beast was thr biggest pile of shit honestly
>Hurr lost muh animals
>Dont call magic animal control
>Lel muggle come with me
>I love muggle cock
>Women leaders in suit era New York
>The fact they dont just blow them tk pieces but send them to some stupid chamber.

>>86491923
it was the end of the movie, they were in the great hall and everyone was clapping for hagrid

I'm going to the deli, anybody want anything? Got 20 bux

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>>86492248
cornetto

>>86492171
I know the scene, anon. I just wonder why you thought Hagrid won the House Cup

>>86483478
its even funnier when you realise "stretched his legs." doesnt appear even once in the novels

>>86483478
This is a really solid opening

>>86489259
It's an allegory for how racist white male conservatives trear minorities

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Why was Biggie Smalls in Harry Potter?

>>86483478
>anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement.
???

>>86494416
>>86494501
>>86494721
Why are people still replying to this?

Sort of on-topic, are you hyped for the Fantastic Beasts movies? The first one was much better than I expected so I have high hopes for the future. Depending on how they handle it, this could be the first decent prequel series in cinema. Fuck Star Wars, The Hobbit, Alien etc. Could we finally see a prequel series that's actually decent?

>>86483309
I liked the blonde girl. Luna Lovegood. Did she appear often or did she only have a minor role in the movies?

>>86494592
black magic

>>86495423
Aged like the common English slag

>>86495072
But it was shit is this bait?

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so what were the American wizards doing during HP? didn't care that England got taken over by Wizard Hitler?

>>86495648
Nah, I loved it. Could've been your typical money-grabbing cash cow, but it turned out to be pretty decent.

>>86495705
Probably kept to themselves for way too long before interfering, just like WW2. Except this time Britain had already defeated wizard Hitler before America had a chance to hog the glory.

>>86487047
>Use your vocabulary, woman
Shit is written is for 10-13 yr kids. Not a surprise that low IQ adults find it entertaining.

>>86483478
I don't care it is pasta, I don't care that the picture is bait, but having Great Gatsby over LoTR, 1984 and even Invisible Man is fucking bullshit.

>>86495705
Rowling didn't even consider the international scale until book 4, and by then it was too late to do more than make token nods.

>>86495072
>>86495072
During the movie, I completely forgot about the fact that there would be sequels.
I didn't even put it together that was Grindelwald escaping during the prologue, I thought the papers were just there for world building and telling viewers when this is set, without Grondelwald tying into the main plot.
Also, I did notice Colin Farrell had the same retarded hairdo the guy in the scene before did and said to my friend "That guy died his hair just now." Got me an elbow in the ribs for spoiling, even though I didn't put it together it was the escaped Grindelwald. Thought he was some high-ranking lieutenant or fanboy of his. And now we're stuck with fat Johnny Depp cosplaying as Mr. Teatime instead of letting Percy Graves be Percy Graves.

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>Go to Pottermore
>Be sorted into Ravenclaw
>Do the patronus test
>Get pic related
>Quit

And what is your guardian angel /tv/?

https://www.qzzr.com/c/quiz/272770/discover-your-pottermore-patronus

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>>86483478
>"No!"
I will never tire of this.

>>86486202
It's the kind of thing that's completely acceptable in a Roald Dahl inspired whimsical kids' universe but doesn't fit with the direction the series went as it started to target older kids and teens.

>>86494592
Black could be anywhere.

The house point system was obviously very biased and flawed.

Why would anyone think it works when teachers keep giving points to their own houses and take away from others?

>>86499606
But Snape never gave points to anyone and his house always won.

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>>86483478
>>Teaching is hard. This was maybe my answer to Rowling, whom, as much as I admire her, I do quibble with. Harry Potter had a very Western philosophy: that if the headmaster was a good man, the students would prosper. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Rowling can say that Dumbledore was headmaster and was an administrator for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Rowling doesn’t ask the question: What was Dumbledore’s tuition policy? Did he offer financial aid for poorer magical students? What did he do in the time of WWII when air raids were occurring? And what about all these jews? By the end of the 7th book, Voldemort is gone but all of the Death Eaters aren't gone – they’re in the shadows. Did Harry pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby Death Eaters, with their little baby Dark Marks?

>>86483478
Based. Never stop. Come into these threads expecting this and im never disappointeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedawddcxas

>>86483309
I'm sad they're making another fucking movie. Just let it die already

>>86499337
>Patronus quiz
>not a single question about your happy memories

>>86493142
He just told you why...

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>>86495072
>are you hyped for the Fantastic Beasts movies? The first one was much better than I expected
That movie was worse than any of the HP movies, which is saying something given those were mostly trash.

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>>86487256
WIngardium Leviosaaaaa

>>86499659
He always took points away from others.

>>86495705
The author is retarded. This is just one of many plot holes. Turn your brain off, bro.

>>86499682
>And what about all these jews?
THIS
Why didn't Dumbledore stop Israel?

>successful Harry Potter Thread
>/tv/ inundated with /got/ threads

So much better than the capeshit circle jerk

>>86495900
>glory
Lol so that's what bongs call being saved

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How did Harry not go to Azkaban for killing someone when he was 11?

Hermione is for ________
Ginny is for _________
Luna is for _________
Cho is for ________
Bellatrix Lestrange is for ________

>>86483478
Has there ever been a dramatic reading of this? I would be surprised if there isn't.

>>86483355
Look everyone it's the furfag megaautist. I'm sure he falseflagged and samefagged this thread as much as he could!
It isn't like HP is better than 9/10 things posted about here. Makes you think

Reminder half of the films are pure kino

>>86499839
>if I keep repeating myself it will be true.
Every single Harry Potter movie is good, even the worst one Goblet of Fire is pretty good

>>86504797
>the people who come here to post about star wars game of thrones and capeshit talk shit about potter
Completely hilarious and confirms HPs greatness. You couldn't give it a better seal of approval than /tv/ calling it shit while this board is literally in the gutter.

>>86483309
Why do girls like Harry Potter?

Yes, yes, well done shitposters. Well done shitposters.
However, Harry Potter is the best franchise.

>>86505281
Gurls usually always love low iq digestible stuff as they lack the brain power to consume real art. Just look at those "dude I'm such a nerd xD" images they make, it's almost always the same handful of franchises/media.

>>86499782
Than he's either retarded or he saw Chamber of Secrets when he was a two-year-old.
>Hagrid arrives
>Everybody starts cheering
>durrrr diddy winn da house cup..?

>>86492248
White sip

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>>86487256

>>86495705
What does the rest of the world do in comic books and movies while murrica single-handedly repels alien invasion and saves the world from Ctulhu-Satan from 34th dimension?
Unless brought up, they don't exist.

Also
>learned that Hedwig dies
>didn't read last 2 books
And I don't even remember which movie I saw last. Probably 3rd or 4th.

>>86483478
>the great gatsby
>godtier
2/10 b8

>>86495705
When someone is smashing up New York in a Spider-Man comic... why doesn't the Fantastic Four, Dr. Strange, the Avengers, and the Defenders come to help?

why didnt they play quidditch against other schools?

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>>86487272
I think it was subtly hinted that the early death eaters only followed him in return for sexual favours.

>>86483309
>HARRY DID YOU FUCKING PUT YOUR NAME IN THE FUCKING GOBLET OF FIRE ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!!

Rowling went too far

Order of Phoenix was Potterkino

>>86508006
Yes it was but so was Half Blood Prince and DH1
Good taste tho lad for recognizing OOTP as wandkino

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>>86483478
You should stop posting the dullest copypasta in the history of copypastas. Seriously each thread about the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains is now indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy rhetoric, the pasta’s only consistency has been its lack of humor and ineffective use of repetition, all to make trolling unfunny, to make shitposting seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when anons vetoed the idea of using a different image each time: they made sure the pasta would never be remixed or worked upon? just ridiculously profitable cross-thread pandering for (You)s. The Harry Potter copypasta might be anti-kino (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-Banepost in its refusal of innovation, applicability and funniness. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>b-but it's board culture though

"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the pasta is terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time it is posted, the anon merely changes the first sentence. I began marking on the back of an envelope every time this was the only attempt made to contextualize it to the topic of the thread. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. /tv/'s mind is so governed by cliches and stale memes that it has no other style of shitposting. Later I read a lavish, loving review of the Harry Potter copypasta by a Redditor. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these anons are shitposting about Harry Potter on /tv/, then when they get older they will go on to make memes on Reddit. And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you use the "Harry Potter" copypasta you are, in fact, being trained to make Reddit memes.

>>86487256
In all seriousness, this scene made no sense.

>Ron, unremarkably average student, duels Hermione, widely recognised as one of the strongest students in the year
>Hermione wins
>people act as if this was in some way surprising and not a hopelessly foregone conclusion

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>>86507974
>makes a race of cunning, hook nosed, money loving, greedy, cruel, bank running, insular, nepotistic, backstabbing stunties.
>puts this in their main bank
Have you ever seen Raimi and Rowing in the same room together?

>>86487196
It's a pretty great experience, growing up along with Harry in the books. I think a lot of people who missed out on that don't feel that extra fondness for the franchise.
The films were great entertainment and complement the books very well. Obviously they were never going to adapt the books page by page, it's impossible, but they did a good enough job of bringing the world alive.

>>86510924
Hermione's great at general knowledge and always got amazing grades but it's shown in the books that dueling isn't her strong suit. It's only really in the DA that she starts becoming competent. Ron on the other hand had some experience at least.

>>86510949
>Irish kid is an alcoholic explosives expert.
>Chinese girl called Cho Chang.
It does make sense

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>>86483478
>Glow in the Dark- Kanye West

>>86483478
FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING SHIT TASTE CUNT
WHy are you spewing so much bullshit here? Harry Potter is one of the greatest movie series of all time! It's well written and directed and has one of the best fan bases in the world too

I bet you fucking artist is just jealous that JK Rowling makes millions while you are struggling on your NEETbux while fapping to anime girls

Fucking virgins

>>86495705
Where were the Australian wizards?

>>86509595
Thanks senpai

>>86511222
OY CUNTSPERIACUS EMUSORILUS SPECUNTRALUS

>>86483478

I fucking love posts like these because they always get like 50 replies from butt blasted alt right spergs going "HAHA I'M NOT MAD HAHAHAHA"

It works every. Fucking. Time. Hey lonely autistic /pol/ neckbeards, here's a tip: if none of you replied to that guy, it wouldn't have been pathetic at all. In fact, if none of you reply to me it will actually BTFO my entire argument. But I guarantee one of you will reply with something.

Replying to people only encourages them.

>>86506723
>What does the rest of the world do in comic books and movies while murrica single-handedly repels alien invasion and saves the world from Ctulhu-Satan from 34th dimension?
Absolutely fucking nothing. Just like in real life.

>>86511189
HAAHAHAHAHAHAH

>>86492578
KOH-NEH-OH!

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>>86496251
Anon posted the wrong one.

>>86499337
The first time I took the test I got thestral too and pissed so I retook it and got fox after I answered the two or three questions that I skipped.
>>86499775
Ya that is pretty weird.

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The model for the castle is GOAT. They used just this one for all the movies.

>>86499337
>>86499775
>>86512334
Ravenclaw and Thestral is pretty decent, what are you complaining about? I always get Slytherin even when I'm actively trying not to, and my Patronus was a fucking beaver or some shite

>>86512428
Seeing that model at the end of the London Studio Tour was amazing. It is so huge, that pic doesn't even convey it that well.

>>86512856
Mostly me just being bitchy about getting something non-magical, and I always got Ravenclaw even though my answers seemed more Slytherin like.

>>86513515
Thestrals aren't non-magical, what are you on about? I got a beaver. I'd happily swap that for a flying skeletal horse.

>>86499337
I got Slytherin and a fucking mole.

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What did they do with her?

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>>86513515
>flying invisible reptile horse
>non-magical

>>86513515
>>86513855
Fuck, just mistyped, my pizza isn't here yet and I'm starving here.

>>86512942
It should be bigger, the scale doesn't make sense

> voldermort, the fucking dark lord and probably the strongest mage in the world after dumbeldore
> killed by a fucking disarming charm

harry could've used the sectumsempra spell he learned from snape's diary ffs. rolling is a hack

>>86513802
It is heavily implied that they raped her. Centaurs are known for raping people in lore. Add to that the obvious trauma Umbridge had (I think Ron made a horse noise in the hospital wing and she freaked out), and the fact that Dumbledore got her out of the forest after 24 hours and it seems obvious. If they were going to kill her or beat her they'd have done it by then.
Accept it. She got raped by the half-breeds she so despised.

Why was Umbridge such a great villain?

>>86514176
> killed by a fucking disarming charm

it was the best choice, desu

>>86514176
Harry wanted Voldemort to feel remorse for his actions.

>>86483478
>boring shit is top tier
>interesting/popular shit is bottom tier

Not exactly over extending yourself.

>>86483478
>(((Ayn Rand))) and Great Gatsby in god tier
lmao ur a kike

>>86487272
They both looked like "emo faggots" if you wanna go there. He was too old IIRC. That kid played smug voldy very well too. Hes stannis' son irl.

>good guys use exclusively non-lethal attacks
I want this fucking meme to die. The absolute laziest trope to extend a villain's existence. Every fight until the last one is reduced to being filler.

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>>86517926
>>86517964

>>86510924
They thought Ron could handle it and it would be a fair fight. Neville knows hermione isn't to mess with. Harry and Sirius know because they saw her bust him out of a cell. But the others didn't necessarily. Should have known since she blasted thay bludger out of thin air in year two. Fred or george knew though one of them won a bet.

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>>86514176
ummm didnt the elder wand kill voldemort with abracadabra when he tried to kill its master with it???

Why do HP threads on /tv/ so often turn into literature wars? I'm sure there's plenty of room for Gatsby, Dorian Gray and Ulysses discussion on the literature board /lit/.
Isn't the very act of posting that pasta a cause for banning (for off-topic discussion), since it tries to steer threads into discussing literature rather than the HP films?

>>86518266
It's ancient bait, you daft cunt.
Doesn't help that Rowling's desperate attempts to stay relevant end up poisoning the books further by association.

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5 > 7.1 > 3 > 6 > 7.2 > 1 > 2 > 4

You cannot refute this

>>86511189
Don't reply to the pasta its stale and the dullest pasta.
Harry Potter is very well directed and made and a fine achivement in filmmaking comprising of over a decade of work.

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>>86499337
>take Pottermore test
>Gryffindor House
>Pheasant Patronus
>14 1/2 inch dragon heart alpha male wand
>some meme house called Thunderbird for her autistic American canon she didn't write a series for

I can live with this.

>>86505522
this is why you're single anon. just come back and read this comment when you wonder why.

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>>86518388
>Harry Potter is very well directed and made and a fine achivement in filmmaking comprising of over a decade of work.

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>>86518205
>>86514176
Harry was a beta to the end, he never had the guts to kill Voldemort. The series ended on the same note it followed from the start of the first book: with Harry being carried by random change, coincidence, and the blood and effort of witches and wizards far more talented than he will ever be. Voldemort was killed by a chain of disarmings that determined the loyalty of the elder wand, resulting in his own curse doubling back and killing him. Harry's disarming spell did nothing besides create the circumstances where the wand clashed with its rightful owner.

>>86518266
Because the mega autist (the shitposting 4plebs detective) literally squeals when anything positive is said about harry potter. You say its well made and directed and he's right there a minute later bc he's always in these threads derailing them. Hes pushed the dullest pasta and the garbage talk. He get so mad that harry potter is a great film series.

>>86514176
The lack of magic in HP always bothered me. Yes a kill spell is very op but that's all the evil guys use. I want to see meteors fall, lightning storms, even that fucking dumbass Goyle or Krabb or whatever his name was summoned a huge fire wreathed snake and all we ever see are just red and green lasers

>>86517926
Don Quixote is hardly boring. I hate pretentious books up their own ass with paragraphs of useless detail but that book is legitimately enjoyable and entertaining to read.

>>86518577
Not to mention how defensive /tv/ and /lit/ get over mentions of Harry Potter when other popular series and capeshit are discussed without ending. They get upset over "millennials" (people between the ages of 22 and 37) enjoying something, and I assume they're lumping in the under-22's as well. Which either means they hate their own peers or they are unironically shitposting on 4chan over the age of 40.

>>86518192
>Should have known since she blasted thay bludger out of thin air in year two
What, did she? I don't remember that. Was that in the movie or in the book?

>>86518029
Well what do you want? For Dumbledore to murder Voldemort during their duel in OotP? Obviously Harry was going to be the one to kill Voldy, and he wouldn't be doing it aged 15.
If you're talking about how the DA used non-lethal curses against the Death Eaters then think about the consequences, both psychologically and lawfully. A teenager would be scarred for life after murdering someone, even if that person was trying to kill them. And even if they're Death Eaters, I'm sure that using the killing curse would still land you in Azkaban.

>>86518337
I'm aware of that. I was just wondering why so many people reply to it every time. You thought people would've learned by now.

>>86518577
I'll never understand the mentality of going into a thread about something you don't like and spending so much time trying to stir shit.

>>86499682
Kek

>>86495072
>The first one was much better than I expected
This, actually. The magic fights at the end were surprisingly well done. I wish Johnny Depp and Colin Farrell had switched roles, though.

>>86518717
>murder
>not self defense
How about the order of the phoenix? Killing known, armed and dangerous, and escaped felons is a crime to you? Those teenagers should prefer to have their friends tortured and killed over and over because no one has the stones to stop these people? We have to slog through the author setting up some rube-goldberg plot device to safely catch the criminals? Plenty of kids go off and kill people at 17 and 18 and come back just fine.

>>86518369
Your rank is rock solid bro but to me the top 4 is interchangable based on mood. Your bottom 4 is perfectly correct.

7.1>5>3=6>7.2>1EE>2EE>4

>>86519052
High five my man

The EEs of the first two are kino right? I love all the additions to Chamber

>>86499337
>86499337
I got a fucking dog so I think you should consider yerself pretty lucky you got something as cool as a thestral mate

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>>86519052
>Your rank is rock solid bro

>>86487256
>Vos rubia pintate los labios y dejame la pija hecha un arcoiris

Why did they take so many liberties with the Spanish dub?

>>86519044
I liked it a lot. I was pessimistic about the idea at first but it was a good film with solid entertainment, while also slowly starting to expand the lore.

>>86519049
Why kill them when disarming and stunning in this case would work equally well?

Also, Harry tried using Crucio but couldn't pull it off because he didn't enjoy torturing people enough.

Imagine how good it would've been if Barty Crouch Jr. survived and joined up with Voldemort. He would've been such a great right-hand man and mini-boss. He was really clever, a talented wizard with lots of skill and nerve, and an unflinching loyalty to Voldemort. He said it himself that they have a lot in common, like both killing their fathers. Much more interesting character than Bellatrix who was just a crazy chick fawning over Voldemort. Neville could've been the one to kill Barty in the end since Barty was part of the group that tortured his parents into insanity.

Just a wasted character, really. And the film did him absolutely no justice.

>>86518669
Yea I'm on the same page as you I'm glad you notice, it is completelt ironic considering what the board discusses.

>>86518899
I think the mentality is the guy is always here and has schadenfraude trying to pretentiously shitpost against everything he can on the board he doesn't like

>>86519049
>>86519515
>Also, Harry tried using Crucio but couldn't pull it off because he didn't enjoy torturing people enough.
Exactly. And the same thing counts for Avada Kedavra. You have to really mean it, you have to have a real, intense desire to kill in order for it to work. I'm pretty sure a couple of 15-year-olds couldn't pull off the killing curse. It's not about it being self defense, they have to have the mental ability to desire to kill. So yeah, like that anon said, just disarm them and run away.

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>>86518669
Millenials are taught to hate even themselves.

>>86519101
Yes! The EEs are kino indeed and the chambers additions do make it even better it is paced so nicely

>>86519515
>Why kill them when disarming and stunning in this case would work equally well?
Because, as the story will show, they get right back up and start fucking things up again so it really doesn't work all that well. Why not have one of these master wizards that like to play supporting characters take some action?

>>86519101
>>86519815
Wait, there's EEs? For every movie or just the first two?

>>86519128
Brick is a great movie thanks for reminding me to watch it again.

>>86519958
There's an extended philosophers and chamber officially only. But newell did approve/edit an extended goblet of fire for tv.

>>86483355
>Millennials
Bet you unironically is one without knowing it

>>86520042
Interesting. Can't believe I never knew that. How much extra time do the first two's EE add? We talking ten minutes or a LotR-style full hour? Also is this Goblet EE for tv out there on the internet? Does it help with the butchered plot?

>>86519728
How did Snape kill Dumbledore?

>>86510924
It's an issue of temperment really, Ron isn't great about the whole being intelligent deal but he's more than able to keep his head in a stressful situation, Hermione has a tendency to get flustered (admittedly though, practicing with a friend isn't the most stressful situation but it's still reasonable to think it might throw her off)

>>86520219
There's officially released (as in you buy them on DVD/Blu-ray) EEs for the first two

Literally all it is, is the deleted scenes from the special features slotted back in

So Philosopher's is ~7 minutes longer and Chamber is ~13 minutes longer

ABC channel in America broadcasts unofficial EEs of the others with their deleted scenes slotted in too

WB however has tons of material in vaults they could easily turn into proper LOTR-style EEs

OOTP had 50 minutes cut from the movie, ~10 of which ended up as deleted scenes in the special features

I've been looking into this for years, so many scenes they have stashed away

>>86520316
It was prearranged. As a person, Snap didn't want to kill Dumbledore. But knowing about the plan and knowing how this would save Draco and start Dumbledore's final plan for Harry to kill Voldemort, he mentally convinced himself that he needed, wanted to do it. As a highly skilled occlumence and ligilimence I'm sure Snape could trick his mind like that. That's my interpretation anyway.

Wanna talk about Fred and George not spotting Ron sleeping with a boy called Peter every night?

>>86484872
Or he's the OP.

>>86520494
That's amazing. They've basically got like an hour of footage for each film they could clean up and shove into the films but they're not doing it. I mean, now that the franchise is over, and knowing Warner Bros, it's hard to deny the possibility of them releasing the extended cuts in cinemas worldwide, with never seen before footage. I'm pretty sure people would go see it.

>>86520807
I've no doubt when the Fantastic Beasts movies are wrapping up, they'll be hitting anniversaries for the Potter movies, and they'll be digging into the vaults to see what they can get fans to buy new boxsets for

>>86520889
I'm convinced they'll milk the franchise for every cent, I mean they basically announced it when they announced a special "Wizarding World" branch of their company, whose sole job is to keep the HP brand alive.
I'd always thought they'd go for a full remake of the films, or maybe an HBO show that goes one season per book. But of course, if they've got unreleased footage hidden somewhere they're gonna take the cheap and easy road and just re-release the movies in cinemas around the world. People would undoubtedly go see it, either for the extended stuff, for nostalgia, or just because they're fans. I could easily see them trying to pull this off and release each EE in cinemas around Christmas time for eight consecutive years and it would still outsell the current blockbusters of that time.

>>86520889
>>86521120
We'll never see the end of Potter I'm pretty sure. Beasts was decent and it attracted loads of people. If they keep releasing movies every two years it'll be 2024 when the final one is released, 13 years after Hallows 2. Plenty of time will have passed for a reboot or another spin-off series. For the moment I'm enjoying it all, but I wonder just how long they can stretch it and still be popular. That said, the Potter fanbase is very dedicated, maybe rivaling the Star Wars fanbase. I'm sure we're in for plenty of spin-offs and an eventual remake of the Potter films in a few years time. I mean, the possibilities are endless and the fans would love it if they explored every inch of the "Wizarding World" franchise. The Marauder's time at Hogwarts, Harry's children at Hogwarts, more international world-building etc. It's all there to use if they want to and going by recent trends I'm pretty sure they will.

>>86521120
>>86521865
I just can't believe Rowling allowed and put her name on The Cursed Child

She's no great writer by any means but I grew up with the books, love HP and re-read them regularly

TCC literally reads as fanfiction, it's appallingly bad

Voldemort having a daughter with Bellatrix - what the fuck?

>>86506857
the guy to the right of him looks more like a young Voldemort than him

>>86518432
Yeah, because he's surrounded by roastie whores (like you). Everyone already knew that.

>>86522063
I have no idea what happened there. I never went to see it but I read a plot summary and it's beyond ridiculous. If felt like they held a random lottery at that fanfiction website and the winner got to write The Cursed Child.
It terrified me, but after seeing Fantastic Beasts I was reassured that things are going well.

>>86483478
absolutely fucking based

>>86494592
SUPER NINTENDO
SEGA GENESIS

>>86514176
why didn't america just nuke him

in real life superman would have stopped him

>>86522587
Because as long as his Horcruxes exist he's immortal

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>>86518388
>Harry Potter is very well directed and made and a fine achivement in filmmaking comprising of over a decade of work.

t. Little Timothy, age 8.

>>86509756
gave me a hearty chuckle

>>86522999
You're an idiot. Deathly Hallows 2 was released six years ago so "Timothy" would've been two years old and already caught up with the previous seven films.
Why don't you let go of this millennial memery and accept that people who grew up reading or watching HP are in their late twenties/early thirties now. If you're over forty what the fuck are you even doing here?

>>86483478
I come to these threads just for the pasta desu

>>86483478
Based pasta anon.
The "No!" Gets me everytime

>>86519315
Apurate que la negra nos hace un 2x1

>>86518369
This is pretty much my preference as well. Gj

>>86518369
>>86524800
I'm always puzzled by how good 5 was, even though it was the most condensed adaptation. It's the shortest film in the franchise based on the longest book in the franchise.

Can someone tell me the appeal of Fantastic Beasts? I saw it and I'm a low level HP fan but this movie was such a fucking slog.

>>86519315
>>86523872

Dejen de traer su degenerancia a éste board santo y cristiano. Cochinos degenerados

>>86526169
Quirky twink lead. That's it.

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>Be a loser Hufflepuff
>None of us can get date with any girls
>Even Hufflepuff girls, who are also ugly
>Guy in our class asks Luna for some of her hair, gives it to him cause she's kind of slow
>Draw straws for who has to drink the potion the first night
>It draw the short one
>Not looking forward to this but figure I'll get my turn at her eventually
>Next 6 hours is me getting fucked in every hole and degraded like you can't imagine
>mfw now I draw the short straw every night

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>>86499337
>dolphin

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>>86519315
>>86523872
This brings so many good memories

>>86526169
Redmayne's performance was the biggest detriment for me. Well that and fucking Colin Farrel transforming into johnny fucking depp. Should just stuck with Colin for the character.

Queenie is top tier HP waifu btw.

>>86518369
>>86519052
>>86524800
>>86525021

you retards are so pleb it's unreal

anyone not ranking the first and second films as the best gets the rope

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>>86526932
Fucking this. All the kids were so cute back then.

>>86526544
Honestly, in all realness, a lot of weird shit must've gone on at Hogwarts. Pollyfuck your mates, chlorofor----love potion random girls, undressing shy girls by magic near the forbidden forest.

>2010s Luna Lovegood will never be your gf

Still haven't watched this shit. Still refuse to.

>>86527367
Give it a chance, anon

>>86527332
What the fuck happened to Evanna Lynch man? She looks like a meth head these days.

>>86506848
bumps

>>86527367
You're not missing out on anything except for tumblr brain poison

>>86527393
"No!"

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>tfw others posters not sorted best house Slytherin house

all other houses worst houses

Which Harry Potter movie is comfiest

>>86518369
1
3
2 = 7
5
4
8
6

MUH LASERS and MUH final battle. The last movie isnt very good.

Imagine if we didn't live in cultural marxist dystopia so we got Potter goes to college done in the style of Basic Instincts

>>86527470
They're good movies. You're just a faggot. Perhaps you should go back to rddit.

Even as a kid I knew Harry Potter wasn't written well.

I'm glad I stuck with Terry Pratchett when I was 10.

>>86499337
I got a Newfoundland

That's a fucking province

>>86527425
Uhhh. Meth?

>>86527502
I always get into Slytherin and it pisses me off. I'm much more of a Hufflepuff type.

>>86527549
The first two are comfy as fuck and have that lovely Christmas vibe going on. I guess the first one is most comfy simply because CoS has blood and death etc.
After that, the films aren't really comfy. Still good, but not comfy as such.

3>1>2>6>5>7.2>4>7.1
Hallows 1 was a snore fest with no real climax. Still a greay film, just overshadowed by the moods of the others.

>>86528302
She got better over time.

Even Pratchetts first books were poorly written. And his last few books, it's like he kept forgetting about shit he wrote in the previous chapters.

>>86527549
Sorcerer's and Goblet.

Best are those, Order, and the last two.

>>86512428
>first year students go across the lake in the boats
>have to go up all those fucking stairs

>>86530680
>Sorcerer
I will never get over this.

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>>86506489
>asks stupid questions
>starts calling other people retarded

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0ouQdQaVSHn

>>86506785
they're usually in space or off fighting some other villain
and maybe that's what the American wizards were doing...so I'm wondering wouldn't that be a better story than Fantastic Beasts?

>>86532469
Same. I'm from Europe but it still annoys me. Obviously some marketing overlords decided that the term "philosopher" would be too much for the random US child to understand. But people keep underestimating children.
Add to that that the philosopher's stone is a well-known myth/lore object,
It just seems cheap to change it and it comes across as if US children "wouldn't understand". Who decided that?

>>86532710
I just don't see how any human brain could connect the release of Hagrid from Azkaban with winning the house cup. There is absolutely no connection, and I can only think that this certain anon thinks that applause means house cups, And I'm slightly worried about that anon for thinking this. Unless, like I proposed, he was 2 years old when he first saw CoS.

>>86499606
McGonagall was harsher on her own house than anyone else. It's a miracle Gryffindor had any points at all at the rate both McGonagall and Snape were bleeding points from them.

>>86514176
Even worse when you realize Harry didn't even have to do shit because the elder wand would fuck Voldemort over in the end.

Instead of wasting the entirety of HBD on that fucking chest monster Harry could have been learning some powerful nonverbal spells.

>>86533329
*HBP

>>86522063
>I just can't believe Rowling allowed and put her name on The Cursed Child
Probably because everyone behind that abomination thought fans would love it because it took every shitty fanfic trope and put it into one book.

Fantastic Beasts was decent I have no idea what the fuck was happening with Cursed Child.

I've honestly read fanfiction better than the Cursed Child.

>>86527502
What is even the appeal of Slytherin when the author fucks them over so hard? Why are they even allowed at Hogwarts if all their families are Death Eaters? Why haven't they fucked off and started their own pureblood school?

>>86527549
Prisoner of Azkaban. Not as kiddie as the first two but not as depressing as the others. The only movie without Voldemort.

>>86533665
It's implied that prior to Voldemort Slytherin was the aristocratic house and Slugworth was the typical representative. Having your most famous alumn be wizard Hitler though is bound to mess with enrollment.

>>86533901
*slughorn
Guess I've got Dahl on the brain.

>>86483478
>abridged monte cristo

>>86533901
They also had Merlin himself as a Slytherin.

>>86533901
It's still pretty fucked up that there were no decent student characters from Slytherin the entirety of the books. Even Malfoy was a cowardly piece of shit from beginning to end. No Slytherin students fought to protect Hogwarts in the end.

It only made sense in the first few book to have this simplistic bad guy house, but when you realize most of their families support Voldemort then they should have been cut from the school.

>>86487196
The first three movies were good. It really started to take a nose dive though with Goblet of Fire. I'm really not a fan of 4 through 7 in the movie realm. They cut out so much interesting shit.

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>>86483309
>Slytherin
House of wizard supremacist inbred sociopaths.
>Griffindor
House of asshole chads and miscreants.
>Hufflepuff
House of burnouts and fatties.
>Ravenclaw
House of good students.

Ravenclaw would win every year if quiddich didn't award house points and Snape stopped giving Slytherin points every time Malfoy takes a shit.

>>86534631
Snape doesn't award points, not even to his own House. He's just that big of an asshole. He will only ever take away points.

>>86526932
This. I don't understand how anyone can like 5 and 6 better. Those movies are so dull in comparison, not to mention lacking color and good music.

>>86534631
Ravenclaw is more like the house for art majors.

If anything Slytherin should be the ones with the best grades since they're meant to be the most ambitious.

>>86518390
Finally, someone else who got a pheasant.

>>86518582
trouble is only guys like voldemort and dumbledore know interesting magic
everyone else was taught like 5 basic hexes that all manifest as red and green lasers

>>86534876
>the house centered around intelligence is a house for art majors
loluwt
hufflepuff is the art major house
ravenclaw is the nerd house

>>86535048
Name one booksmart Ravenclaw. Luna? Cho? Gilderoy? All of them had their head in the clouds.

Hufflepuff are more like diet Gryffindor.

>>86499337
Peacock nigguuhhh

>>86512428
As a kid I was convinced that was a real castle that they used to film certain scenes.

>>86534943
That's what happens when you have an unblockable (aside from moving physical objects in the way) instant kill spell that even shit tier wizards can spam.

>>86504966
DH part 2 is the worst film by far, not goblet, which is criminally underrated (along with DH part 1).

>>86534206
I especially loved the story of Goblet and the film turned out terrible.

>>86518369
3
6
7.1
4
2
1
5
8

HARRY POTTER IS DEEEEEEAAD

>>86535145
You can also just dodge it.

>>86534865
>good music.
what the fuck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rR6RyQld8ig
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySvXYETgOws
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55QDkd-ecks&index=1&list=PL6D44E9EDC8097F5D
>le late movies were so gloom and doom!
this is absolute horseshit. if anything, 5 was the most upbeat and cheery with those silly montages. 6 had some moments of levity too, mostly with Ron and Slughorn, to balance out the growing dark themes.

>>86494592
WE WUZ WIZARDS N SHIT

>>86535325
NYEHEEEHE

>>86535120
They don't show enough of ravenclaw to have good examples. I only know like 3 ravenclaw students, Luna, Cho, and one of the Indian twins. And we don't really know anything about their grades.

But I remember they ask Hermione why she wasn't in Ravenclaw, implying that most of Ravenclaw is like Hermione.

Rowling originally was going to have Hermione be Ravenclaw and Ron be Hufflepuff, but decided the logistics of having them be in separate houses was too difficult.

>>86531138
>t. fat fuck

>>86535360
Or block it with an object.

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>>86535400
black magic aint nothin' to joke bout.

>>86487272
Nepotism. He was Ralph Fienne's nephew.

>>86487272
Always annoyed me. Tom's whole thing while he was at school was that he was a very charming boy who happened to be a secret murderous sociopath. Making him obviously evil is missing the point.

>>86535529
>tfw you witness a wizard fight and the news tries to convince you it was something called "fireworks". As if that's a real thing.
you're not fooling anyone ministry
those wizards won't be hexing me, my aluminium hat deflects spells

>>86535611
I always liked that fan theory that making so many Horcruxes made him just go more and more obviously evil and lost that charm and charisma he had. So after splitting his soul seven times he's just so far gone that "noseless and hairless snake man" is just a very acceptable appearance to have.

>>86535674
It's fine for noseless snake man to be obviously evil. It's not like it's even worth the trouble to pretend to be a nice guy when you look like that. I'm talking about school-age Tom in the movies, where he's acting like the kid from The Omen.

>>86535674
>fan theory
You mean something that is directly stated in the books. Tom was described as handsome during school and he is shown to quickly become less attractive after making horcruxes during the memories Dumbledore obtained in book 6.

>>86485474
Same. Was reading HP when I was 11-12 and now I'm 22 and reading Stephen King's third book.
But the reason of it, I think, is that King is really good at writing about children. And so was Rowling. Can't really find anything else in common

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Let's talk about some of the things that they cut out from the books that made the movies better.

Like these stupid pointy hats. They show up in the first movie and thankfully never again. I remember there was a bit in the first book about pointy hats being part of the dress code. Thank god that didn't stick around.

And thank god they cut out Peeves. Imagine some gay little CGI ghost prat in the movies. Dodged a bullet there.

>>86499337
>>86518390
>wolf patronus
I'm okay with this. Where'd you find all those other quizzes?

>>86518582
They had explosive spells. Why not use those against each other? Use the same spell you'd use to tear down fortified walls against a human being and watch him splatter.

>>86535946
I remember they had a curse that blows up inanimate objects, but it doesn't work on people. So that might be why.

>>86535926
I'm still pissed about how they pretty much abandoned the idea of the dress code after the second movie, and the idea that wizards are incapable of dressing properly like muggles.
Like seeing the Ministry in modern day business suits, with even purebloods wearing fancy suits is just stupid.

>>86499337
>https://www.qzzr.com/c/quiz/272770/discover-your-pottermore-patronus
slytherin and hyena.

>>86495705
Why do you think there are wizards in USA? Maybe they are such a rare thing that their entire population fits well into London and the other two schools' countries.
Also, they can teleport, so all americans might be going to Hogwarts too

>>86535926

fuck you, pointy hats are awesome

>>86535926
The Great Hall looked so comfy in first few films. In the latter ones it looks like a prison block.

>>86536056
Fantastic Beasts literally takes place in America's wizarding world.
And the American wizards are hilariously even worse than England's for anti-muggle rules, like them not even being allowed to marry muggles.

>>86536128
yeah the general color palette of the first two films is that warm, comfy gold. and then in film 3 it turns to grey and green and by film 6 it's literally 70% black. it's a shame. and it makes the series feel like seperated universes of the same guy rather than a connected whole story.

as an aside, why do people hate goblet so much? i thought it was fine. a little too angsty, but then, so was the book. just the right amount of cheese, cedric was good, nice soundtrack, solid pacing, etc.

>>86536056
Don't think they can just teleport cross country like that. Think they have to focus their mind on a destination, so they can only teleport to places they can see or have been before.

>>86528473
>not wanting to crush dementors with a chunk of Canada
This fucking guy I swear.

>>86536221
I liked goblet except for the hack job they did on the maze and the shitty yule ball scenes.

>>86511222
Still waging war against the emu demons

>>86535374
>6 had some moments of levity too, mostly with Ron and Slughorn
Not to mention DUDE WEED Harry on the luck potion.

>>86511222
Wizards sent their prisoners to Azkaban, not Australia. Hence there are no Australian wizards.

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>>86499337
>Slytherin
>A Bat

>>86536286
Hasn't Hermione teleported them to some place she's seen in a picture?
>Have a picture of London
>Teleport to London

>>86536215
>Accepting Fantastic Beasts as canon
I didn't even watch that shit

At the behest of a friend I watched the movies and then took the quiz to see which house I would be in.

I got Hufflepuff. Is this good or bad?

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>>86537233

>>86537233
Hufflepuff is for people who are kind, honest, honorable and hard working - but not prideful. And also any whosawhatsit the doesn't fit into the other houses for whatever reason.
Take that how you will. I think it's a great house, and I got sorted to Ravenclaw.

>>86537408
>>86537475

Killing myself now.