>Character takes a shit >Doesn't spend 5 minutes wiping

I think you have bowel problems anon

>wipe until I bleed
>the shit is still there

>>86430422

>tfw

How can I avoid this?

I once went through an entire roll in one shit.

I'm not even fat.

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>>86430316
>Character takes a shit
>Doesn't spend an hour straining until shoving his arm up his ass up to the shoulder and digging the hard poop bits out while screaming in ecstasy
How am I supposed to relate?

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eat healthy and don't be a lardass and your ass is crystal clean in seconds.

>>86430422

You need to get yourself some wet wipes.

>people using shrines to defecate instead of using the streets and wiping with coarse sand.
It's like I was immediately sucked out of the surrealism and made the entire movie awful.

>>86432055
Thiccc

>>86430422
This is why I avoid public bathrooms.
The worst toilet paper known to man is stocked in there, which will rub your ass raw and bleeding yet not actually wipe any shit away.

>>86430422
>>86430666
>>86430355
>>86431919
get a bidet you fucking animals

>>86430668
I am so confused by this statement.

>>86430316
It's just assumed, you twink. You have to get on with the story. You'll only see protracted shitting scenes in bad student films and worse arthouse films.

>>86431936

BOMBAY
O
M
B
A
Y

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>Character doesn't hold in his shit for three days to a week because he enjoys the feeling until his abdomen starts to hurt.

really takes me out of the movie

>>86438240
I've been like this as far back as i can remember. its uncomfortable as fuck and hurts even when i try to break this habit and force myself to sit on the throne and let shit take its course so i end up just holding it in until im ready to take my mile-long shit because i know ill be exhausted and go to sleep immediately after i get done

How do i go about fixing this?

The internet was a mistake

>>86439677
loled

>Character takes a shit
>Shouts "AYUDAME!"

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>character takes a piss
>doesn't wipe his dick

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>>86439677
Hearty keks had

>>86434230
Ohh mister fancyman a bidet.

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>character takes a shit
>doesn't sniff their hands when they're finished

>character goes up to a urinal to take a pee
>doesn't drop his pants and undies to his ankles and walk so close to the urinal that the head of his penis touches the back of the urinal while peeing
>as such, he doesn't allow the stream of flush water to clean the head of his penis once he has finished urinating

I like to stand up to wipe

>character faps
>doesn't immediately force himself to take a piss afterwards

>>86434230
That's for eurofags

>>86443128
Stand wiping is kino.

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>waste loads of paper wiping until you're sure theres nothing there
>push toilet paper inside asshole just a tiny bit
>covered in shit, waste more tp
>get skidmarks anyway because your underwear eventually works its way inside yourr asshole especially when you bend over
How do I stop this?

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>Character takes a shit
>doesn't use it to make Jenkem

>>86443128

i bet youre fat or autistic

>he doesn't shove toilet paper in his ass crack while he's sitting down to keep the poop juices contained and battle against swamp ass
Honestly you people are all gross
Bet you don't even dab your dick after you pee

>>86430422
>>86430666
>>86430316
>not pouring water on the toilet paper

>>86443128
>>86443240
my poopers

>>86443280
Put some TP up your butthole and leave it there.

>>86443128
I like to wipe in the mirror

sometimes I get turned on by my own asshole

>character takes a shit
>Doesn't do it into a handful of tissue paper and then mash it between his hands a bit while sniffing it

wtf Hollywood??

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>character shits in a toilet
>doesn't shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain

Why the fuck does this thread stay up but classic meta meme threads dont? When will we have normal mods and jannies?

>>86438240
>he gets uncomfortable after 3 days
talk to me after you hold it in for a week

>tfw these threads make you realize how fucking disgusting you really are

>>86430316
>taking huge
>remodeling bathroom
>have steel wool next to toilet for cleaning grout
>HMMMMM.jpg
>wipe ass with steel wool
>start bleeding
>get infected

>>86430316
>>Character takes a shit
>doesn't take a shower after
disgusting

This is the most I've laughed at /tv/ in months

>>86443858
janny probably relates to this thread

>>86443982
Fucking kek

>character takes a shit
>paper isn't covered in dark blood and grease
>shit isn't pitch black

wtf???

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>character takes a shit
>doesn't pull out a toilet paper roll from the trash to put his penis in

>he doesn't know how to bulge his anus out, shitting, and then retracting it back in, keeping his anus intact
I haven't wiped in years

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>character takes a piss
>doesn't move slowly for the next ten minutes to avoid other drops

>character takes a shit
>doesn't have to use his hand to pull out and hold his penis down and pointed into the water in order to keep himself from pissing forward onto the toilet seat and floor
>doesn't still accidentally wind up pissing between the top of the toilet bowl and the bottom of the seat

>>86444338
You need to see a doctor

>>86444530
>>doesn't have to use his hand to pull out and hold his penis down and pointed into the water in order to keep himself from pissing forward onto the toilet seat and floor

Is your penis really that small?

>>86431502
Kek

Vegetabraps have the worst gas and crap.

>>86430316
>>86430422
>>86430666
Eat more fiber you idiots

>>86444626
Yes. It sticks out horizontally from my body when flaccid

>>86444646
nice meme

>>86444655
Good meme. Fibre is a myth

>character takes a piss
>doesn't put his hands in a diamond shape around his dick to ensure no splashback gets on his pants

>character uses a public bathroom
>Doesn't piss all over the paper, floor and anywhere else that isn't the toilet, while laughing to himself thinking of the minimum wagecuck that is going to have to clear it all up later.

>>86444735
Fine enjoy your messy shits and torn up asshole

>>86444839
i do the same in movie theaters

>>86444626
>not having to pull back an inch or two of your suprapubic fatpad in order to allow your penis to hang

Fucking manlet.

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>>86443052

>>86443323
How the fuck do you wipe sitting down

>>86445406
>>86445406
easily