>I use to get drunk when I was 17. Finally hit rock bottom

>sober
>still fucks dickgirls and gets shit/pissed on
>used to have young girls piss themselves then sit on his face

>>85854436
Does getting shitfaced at 17/18 even count as addiction? That's such an odd story to tell. How long have you been sober? Oh, since I was 18.

>pissing on your neighbor's lawn
Do people actually regard this as rock bottom?

goy.

Listening to an old Nopie show, and his stance on the NSA is enraging.

>>85854436
>arrested at 18 for public intoxication
>alcoholic to this day

get on my level jim jefferies

>>85854436
I do this every month

What a fagbaby

>>85854554
If that's rock bottom, I've penetrated that and sunk through the crust down to the mantle.

>>85854436
>Finally hit rock bottom
>pissing on neighbor's lawn
?????? isn't that just every 18 year old

>>85854554
>angry neighbour waking you up screaming about how youve pissed your pants on his lawn in front of the neighbourhood

not far off

File: 1487520295800.png (327KB, 447x458px) Image search: [Google]

327KB, 447x458px

>>85854436
Norton's fucking rock bottom was the cartoon he kickstarted

>>85854436
I piss on my neighbor's lawn regularly and don't even need to be drunk to do it

File: Chippah.jpg (5KB, 256x144px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 256x144px

>>85855260
>The $60,000 fugitive

>>85855260
>>85855315
Didn't he recently start uploading animated segments from the Chip podcast as cartoons?

Guess that's his compensation.

>>85856034
He didn't steal your money the cartoon is coming!!!
So what if it's forced and unoriginal remakes you weak internet trolls bitch too much UGH. YUCK.

File: 1490722476624.jpg (73KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 500x500px

>>85854436
>getting shitfaced and doing some mildy stupid stuff a few times
>addiction

>>85854436
I hope this isn't a real quote.

>>85854436
fawk yeah

>>85854516

Most addictions start in the teenage years

>>85854436
That's quite an over reaction

>>85854436

I fucking hate opie and Anthony. Some of the biggest losers to ever make it big. Detestable people.

>hit rock bottom on my 18th birthday after blacking out and pissing on my neighbor's lawn
That's pretty embarrassing, but nowhere near rock bottom.

>>85857649
Nobody cares.

BURN DOWN THE WHOLE FORREST

>>85855017
what was it? he was for it?

>>85855260
Based Publixpeepee

Make me a Boarshead sammich

>>85856513

It's not far off, Stanhope has ripped him a few times about his sobriety. He's a teetotaller who fucks trannies.

>>85857770
At least he's honest about it

>>85857770
Who?
That guy's Marc Norman my friend!

>>85855253
If you're 35, yeah, pretty bad. If you're 17, not even close.

>>85854489
it's okay because he's sober

>>85857718
not that anon but he's for it

his reasoning is that the average person likes celebrity gossip so much that it's only fair that the NSA goes into their priavte life too

>>85855218
I'm down in the earth's core collecting geothermal energy and dispersing to the townspeople like Santa Claus to power their... I dunno doodads... I'm drunk.

File: 1445399201566.gif (2MB, 325x235px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 325x235px

>>85855260
tyb publix

Rock bottom is the moment you realize there is no rock bottom, things can always get worse.

>claims to be an alcoholic
>is still able to black out
yeah no. as an alcoholic I can tell you the amount it would take me to black out would literally kill me

>>85857718
https://youtu.be/k9h6hhFzopc?list=PLiafnWfLRUVvRqdQqu7QPhfSvdpOAa6cx&t=3110

Around 52 minutes if the link doesn't work.

I have to be honest, I think the Chip Chipperson Podacast is the best podcast in the world, it's the only one I look forward to every week

>>85855307
Same. My neighbor's just a dick, so it's a matter of principle to whip mine out on his lawn.

>>85858284
Fawk yeah

>>85855017
>a
>>85857718
>>85857888
>>85858238
A lot of his opinions are fucking enraging. I remember when he called people who speak anonymously on the internet cowards and I thought he was completely off-base. He doesn't understand that in this modern culture the only way to speak openly is to do it anonymously. I hated that he though people who didn't attach their names to their opinions were cowards because honestly the only way to express your opinions without irrational people attaching negative things to your viewpoint is to do it anonymously.

>he thinks pissing on the neighbors lawn is rock bottom
Fucking amateurs man

Guys I remember in high school I played videogames until like 2am one night it was fucked I was really sleepy the next day and was being woken up by my mom telling me I was gonna be late for school.
Luckily since then I don't play video games and haven't for nearly ten years.

>>85854436
jimmay is just jealous of artie's coolness

>>85858500
>I used to have sex when I was 17. Finally hit rock bottom on my 18th birthday after having sex with two girls in the same week. Decided I needed to tackle my addiction and have been a NEET kissless virgin ever since.

File: 1484776107817.gif (62KB, 156x267px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 156x267px

>>85854436
>Finally hit rock bottom on my 18th birthday after blacking out and pissing on my neighbor's lawn

MOM'S GONNA FREAK

File: 2015Simpsons_WhenIWas17_060515.jpg (155KB, 956x637px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 956x637px

>>85854516
>i stayed up late listening to queen

such addiction

File: 9Eejp.jpg (15KB, 496x266px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 496x266px

>>85857654

>>85858284
It's honestly the most boring and forced thing I've ever heard and I listened to O&J and J&S
>>85857888
Yeah the government should totally be allowed to spy on you because you want to see JLaw's tits

File: 1450700049253.png (163KB, 303x566px) Image search: [Google]

163KB, 303x566px

I quit drinking after going to the county fair shitfaced looking for pussy
Seeing double I found a girl who was totally ok with my drunk ass talking to her
We went back to my parents house where I barebacked her in between taking pulls out of a 1.75 on my nightstand
Two days later she tries adding me on Facebook
She is wearing insane clown posse makeup in her profile pic

Been 11 months without a drop

mfw true story every word

File: chip-chipperson-podcast.jpg (89KB, 607x307px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 607x307px

>>85858284
Ya fuckin piece of garbage.

>>85858137
I black out before I even get too sloshed. I think it's because I don't get enough sleep. I forgot over 2 hours from last Saturday night even though my friends said we didn't really do much at that point. I'd say it's different for everyone.

>tfw drink 4 nights a week but never more than 5 beers

I just can't take anything more than that. Call me a pussy but I'm glad that even though I drink often it's never really gotten me into any trouble or bad situations. I did get shit faced at a sporting event and took the wrong bus home but that was more of a funny story than anything else

>>85854436
ive done way worse shit than that and still drink almost every day

>>85858284
Chip Chipperson is hacky as shit.

>>85860213
Yeah. There really is just too many podcasts where one guy does a ridiculous nonsensical character for 45 minutes while his guests humour his whims and nonsequiters.

Fag Norton

>>85860213
Isn't that literally the point?

I've slept on the floor because my mattress was covered in vomit and my couch in piss before.

File: DSC02563.jpg (240KB, 1152x864px) Image search: [Google]

240KB, 1152x864px

>>85854489
>>used to have girls piss themselves then sit on his face

thats my fetish though

Anthony and Jimmy is the perfect show with Sam being a background character.

https://archive.org/details/200932NOpieAntPatriceDeRosaI

>>85854554
>neighbor's front lawn

I agree that's fucking weak, when I was 19 I woke up on someone's front lawn halfway across town

>>85854436
> I used to get drunk with my buddies at a friend's house when I was 17. Finally hit rock bottom on my 18th birthday when I got home and realized I was so drunk I had forgotten my wallet at my friend's house. I finally had to get a handle on my addiction, and been sober ever since.

>>85854436
Life without a little alcohol every now and then sucks.
Alcoholics gone sober have it really bad.
There's nothing more absurd than to ruin the opportunity to drink with friends because of a past addiction.

>>85854436
>get drunk when I was 17. Finally hit rock bottom on my 18th birthday

Wow. Sounds like quite the odyssey there, junior. All that accumulated wisdom an' stuff.

>>85862738
I always liked Sam when he was a background character. He knew how to be an annoying piece of shit. He was a fantastic sarcastic shit-stirrer, and now that he thinks he can be likable he needs to be taken down a notch, he's so fucking terrible

>>85854516
yeah its like going to na for pot with junkies n crackheads like chapelle

File: ghoul.jpg (81KB, 600x800px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 600x800px

Going to da gym and eatin bettar.

>>85858284
I want more Uncle Paul


Suuuuuuuurrreee

File: 600x399127.jpg (23KB, 600x399px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 600x399px

>>85865347
He not really bald, but he literally has the worst white guy hair I've ever seen.

>>85865347

That line truly exposed Jim for the ingratiating worm he is.

>>85865488

lol, tt's so thin and wispy you can make out the shape of his skull.

File: fark_Z38AoyVl8AG2c9uRv7Fn5fq2EuU.jpg (14KB, 235x226px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 235x226px

>>85855260
"/hoc/ on my /tv/?"

>>85854436
Hate Norton, hate Ant, hate Opie. Patrice and pre-cuck Louis were the only good things they ever had going for them

>>85857770
Stanhope is a hack

File: 1655347357.jpg (34KB, 775x519px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 775x519px

>>85857770
>He's a teetotaller who fucks trannies.

Where are the negative qualities

>>85865488
He actually looks worse with hair.

File: 16873425764.jpg (540KB, 1070x1078px) Image search: [Google]

540KB, 1070x1078px

>>85865666
Stanhope's pretty upfront about being a miserable self loathing alcoholic that people and especially himself don't like or pay much attention to
I don't agree with everything the dude says and believes but he reminds me of a few guys at the bar I go to on occasion that opens at 7am for 3rd shift workers and alkies that are at least genuine

>coffee diva
>egg diva
>thread count diva
>hotel room diva
>dissatisfied uber user
>obsessive celeb photo collector
>scared his phone will steal his dick pics
>loves getting pegged by trannies
>claims it's a dominance thing and not gay at all
>asks every female guest what size their feet are
>hangs up on callers that call him out

Did I miss anything? His weird habits are alot more prominent when anthony's not around

File: 1383313800758.png (124KB, 262x288px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 262x288px

>>85865923
You sound like a dick when you're paid to complain about things

>>85854436
>blacked out
>remembers pissing on neighbors lawn

isnt that oxymoronic?

>>85858414
Calling people niggers anonymously is the definition of being a coward who can't express his opinions. It's not irrational to call people out on bullshit when their name is attached. If you do it anonymously you don't want the repercussions of being that off base.

>>85856438
>A teen whipping a dick out and public and openly pissing is mild

What kind of shit hole do you live in?

>>85857835
At 17 you're practically an adult. It's pretty bad.

>>85854436
Addiction is vastly overstated in terms of influence over famous people's lives. For most of them it was just a phase they went through. Even the worst of the worst celebritity "addicts" are usually still going to work every day somewhere. That tells you it's never as bad as they imply it is. At worst, they reached the cross-roads of falling into deeper addiction and then got their act together. That was what happened with Robert Downey Jr.

Jim just sounds like a tool here.
>waah I peed somewhere I wasn't supposed to pee when I was 17
fucking come on

>>85866746
You realize a lot of addicts period are going to work right? You have no idea about addiction.

>>85859866
I've done way worse and I don't drink at all.

>>85854436
That's it???

Wtf I'm not even famous and had alcohol realizations 1000X worse than that. He's weak asf

>>85866659
sounds like an opinion's being expressed pretty clearly to me

>>85865488
like a 50 year old asian man

>>85854436
Was I not supposed to laugh?

>>85865488
Like a 70 year old Mongolian woman.

File: 2D458B27-05DB-64A6-334D4A539292E74E.jpg (38KB, 337x455px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 337x455px

>drank an entire six pack of coors light in 1979
>still goes to weekly AA meetings and fucks men to keep his addiction at bay

I used to piss in our own front lawn every evening as a teenager and I hadn't even drank yet.

>>85868139
I used to pee on my neighbor's fence at the bus stop in 1st grade and the way steam arose from my stream of piss made me giggle. cold area.

>>85859533

>tfw drink 4 nights a week but never more than 5 beers

Same only no more than 3 times a week for me. It's actually good for you health to drink moderate amount regularly

http://www.bbc.com/news/health-40740247

A normal Friday night for me is to smash 3 shots of Wild Turkey 101 and then go piss in my neighbours garage.

>>85858997
Get out of the midwest

>>85868599
>3 shots
what did he mean by this?

File: 111a.jpg (250KB, 908x681px) Image search: [Google]

250KB, 908x681px

Everybody knows that DUDE WEED provides a much better experience than drinking

I enjoy both but it's no contest

>>85865488
I can't decide of he has good or bad kind of balding the kind that when people see you shaven makes them say "Oh i wonder why doesn't he just grows it out it looks okay" and then when you do they realize why.

So close yet so far.

East Side Dave and Pepper Hicks are the best part of the O&A Extended Universe.

I've been a heavy drinker and other substance abuser for over nearly 10 years, since I was 18. Get on my level. I have alienated everybody I know and I want to die

>>85854436
That's it?

>be me
>19 year old pillhead/substance abuser
>21 year old brother whose never touched anything
>steal his ID to buy liquor because we're both tall as fuck and look alike
>knowing that if I ever accidentally drag him down into anything bad I'll probably kill myself

>>85854436
>Last summer
>23 years old
>Full on NEET
>Haven't spoken to dad in 2 years
>Getting a little too friendly with drinking
>Start drinking every weekend, and then that quickly turned into drinking every day
>One night I was so drunk and I was so upset I randomly texted my dad in the middle of the night telling him I've been getting drunk every night
>fast forward to the present time
>I'm working for his company making $18 an hour

>>85854436
Is that ed sheren

>duuuuude I drank when I was 18 I'm an alcoholic xDDD
alcoholism is a mental health issue, it's not about drinking too much when you're out with friends. Fucking attention whore.

>>85865864
This is pretty close to what I was gonna add. Stanhopes not a hack he's just overrated by people who never frequented a dive bar and got to know the 10 or so regulars with the same views on everything as Doug.

>>85854436
Im considered achingly boring with how modest and against crazy nights out i am but even i spent 17-23 blacking out, pissing on windows, people, trousers, cars, club corners, and beds. Who is this total faggot and why should i care?

>>85854436
I've done worse than that and i just party regurarly. Wtf?

>>85866696
Where do you live, saudi-arabia? I live in finland and that shit happens every weekend.

>>85866720
Nigga it's fucking scientifically proven that the brain of a male develops until he is around 25. 17 is nowhere near adult biologically expect for reproduction.

>>85868882
Weed gives you a shitty instagram filter to reality. Alcohol fucking alters you and your reality completely, plus makes you feel energetic and excited as fuck. Never understood what's so great about weed. Then again i have drank way more than i have smoked weed.

>>85869681
How the fuck can you have a dad that good and succesful and still have him not know what you are doing for two years?

>>85870011
This. It's normie tier to be doing lines of coke, mdma and vomiting on club sofas before having an indiscriminate fuck in the toilets. Getting drunk and pissing is as old as time and wholesome by any modern standards.

>>85870318
>piss in alley
>get caught
>become sex offender and life ruined.

Nah, not wholesome by modern standards.

>>85870261
fucked up childhood. bad mental programming. anxiety. personality disorders.

>120 posts discussing a fake quote attributed to a nobody comedian
>only one or two people actually question whether it's real

This board is populated by mongoloids

>>85854436
I've been drinking since I was 15. My rock bottom is the cringy shit I say when I'm hammered

>>85854554
I don't know about you, but if I did that I would be fucking embarrassed come morning. If I do literally anything "crazy" or "wild" whilst drunk I always regret it in the morning and feel humiliated, even if no one else blames me for it. I think that's probably a good reaction though because it keeps you grounded and you know "being drunk" isn't an excuse to act like a massive cunt.

>>85870773
>My rock bottom is the cringy shit I say when I'm hammered
This.

>>85870637
tbf most posts are just talking about their own drunkenness.

>>85870405
Get charged as a sex offender for pissing in what country. I have literally pissed on a police station when drunk and got told to fuck off by someone inside banging on the window.

>>85869469
Jesus still loves you. Unless you pissed on his lawn.

When I was like 21, woke up in the backseat of some stranger's car after a night of drinking. Last thing I remember I needed to walk home (15 minute walk) around 4am, so I pounded like 4 final quick shots for the walk. Blacked out. I must have got lost somewhere along the walk back, and my autopilot mode made me find a random car to break into to sleep in for shelter. I awoke at like 8am to a mother and her kid telling me I need to get out. At first I didn't even know where I was or what was happening, so I told them I was trying to sleep and I rolled over. I looked so pathetic that they didn't even seem alarmed by the situation, they just felt bad and said they needed to use the car. I was still shitfaced so I stumbled out of the car and jogged away from them.

that wasn't rock bottom actually, I just enjoy the "memory"