>Budget: $177–210 million >Box Office: $27.6 million

People just don't give a shit about space movies, and who can blame them? How many good ones have we had in the past 20 years?

>>85556588

If I loved The Last Element, will I like this?

>>85556588

Pretty much everybody knew this was a guaranteed flop, no idea how it got funding

That's what you get for picking "actors" that are created with File/New/Page/Blank

Not released in UK yet

>let's spend 200 million on Valerian

it's not like it's Harry Potter. How did this get greenlit? Why do they spend so much damn money? What's wrong with just 30 to 50 million? Cut out the CGI for puppets.

>>85556588
>The legendary director of those two movies nobody remembers and the movie nobody saw

>>85556678
>nobody remembers or saw fifth element
come on, the real reason is that actor playing the main guy, no one wants a skinny male hero, where are the arnolds, the stallones, the 80's gibsons? where have all the cowboys gone?

>>85556605
You mean the Fifth Element? And if you liked it because of Bruce Willis and/or Mila and Gary Oldman then definitely no. If you liked it because of the setting alone, then probably.

Cara is not very charismatic. She wasn't particularly bad and she tried to play hard to get but the lead guy was just bad. He's 5'9 and skinny with a deep voice, so you just can't believe that he's a war hero and women lust after them. He has no charisma at all.

>>85556655
How does a CGI movie cost so much?

>>85556620
Not the actors fault. It's due to the trailer not properly stating why aliens all around the galaxy want these 2 young people to save them and put so much hope in them.

I never read the book and I am sure 95% of humans today haven't so of course not many would be interested in it

particularly stupid aspect of the movie was how rihanna's character was introduced in this totally unnecessary dance interlude while valerian's true love and partner is captured by violent aliens

and then rihanna dies from a off-screen wound literally like 15 minutes later and we have this really awkward scene where its supposed to be so heartfelt, omg how can valerian ever go on after losing his new friend he met 15 minutes ago?

like they fuckin escaped, what was the point of her dying? clearly they wanted her death to be some kind of emotional moment but it makes no sense because they just fucking met

Is this actually worth seeing in theaters? The sci-fi environments look cool but everything else looks like trash.

>>85556851

if youre going to see it at all, it would be in theaters for the big screen images of cool planets and aliens

but its not really worth it, the dialogue in the movie is so cringe, hard to sit through, plot is pointless. and not enough time is devoted to the interesting parts of the setting. in terms of screen time most of the movie is just your generic space ship, silver walls with floating computer screens

the actual interesting settings like the aliens that harvest shit underwater and the ones that are computer hardware engineers just get little token clips of 5 seconds or so for exposition and then we forget about them

You people make me sick. 6 million aliens dead and you won't even spent any shekels on the movie.

>>85556588
They named the movie after the ugly, weak, retarded looking white male instead of promoting cara delevingne. How did this "Dane dehaan" even get work?

>>85556914
That's disappointing, I really like fifth element but I'll pass on this shit.

>>85557135

good choice, i like fifth element a lot too and i wish i had passed on this

>>85556782
>Not the actors fault
You're right, it's the casting people's fault for hiring them
I can't believe people thought she did good in Suicide Squad, she was easily one of the worst things in that movie rivaled only by HONKA HONKA

>>85556588
Actors looks so boring, i do not want to watch even a trailer.
No wonder movie bombed.

>>85557217
I had never heard of this movie until around a week ago.

the trailer was pretty but un engaging, and the main lead is some skinny twink and Eyebrows Mc'Vag. 200million down the toilet.

I bet the guy who was casting actors was some giant winged flaming faggot and no one dared do say anything to him because he would engage 12321 agencies to start a war in the streets over his rights

>>85556603
Space movies are fine, but with all the retarded shit being pushed lately expectations are just really low. Take jupiter ascending, enders game, independence day 2, guardians of the galaxy, they all look so similar that it just becomes boring.

>>85556709
>if you liked it because of Bruce Willis and/or Mila and Gary Oldman

The setting was cool but only because it was inhabited by these people. Even Crhis Tucker's character I like.

Why do people constantly relate this pile of shit film to the fifth element though?

Is it flopping worldwide too?

>>85557439
>mfw loved ender's game book
>mfw didn't even care about the movie

it was that bad in the trailer

I saw the trailer, looked like over convoluted shit.

Even if i had the blu ray right now i wouldn't watch it

>>85557461
>Why do people constantly relate this pile of shit film to the fifth element though

Luc Beson did both

>>85556588
I can't imagine how a normal person could expect this not to flop hard. Hollywood exes are fucking idiots?

>>85556588
That fucking brow. It makes her so fucking ugly. Who is okay with that?

>>85557501
>Hollywood exes are fucking idiots?}

Valerian isn't an american movie, so in this case Hollywood execs being fucking idiots is not relevant.

>>85556782
>How does a CGI movie cost so much?

CGI is really expensive, no idea why people think otherwise. Film studios go CGI for convenience, not to save a buck.

>>85556655
The French government helped fund some of that because by law all media in France has to be 25% French made. And cuck Besson secured private funds from "good faith". I hope this ruins his career personally, and Cara's.

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>>85556588
Not to mention this was independently financed by the director himself

>http://www.screendaily.com/features/interviews/luc-besson-talks-valerian-the-biggest-cinema-gamble-of-2017/5119067.article

According to Besson, 96% of the film's budget was covered by pre-sales.

>>85556588
>200 million budget
>Cast a fucking model and literal who as leads.

What could go wrong?

>>85558670

Even if Valerian doesn't wreck his studio directly, they will have credibility problems in selling their future movie projects to financiers and distribution companies.

>>85556588
someone got source on these numbers?

>>85556613
Apparently Luc Besson funded a lot of the movie himself. Which is odd, because it sounds like the entire thing lacked artistic vision from the get go...

>>85556588
It's sad that it if this was part of some Comic Book Universe or Book Adaption, manchildren would flock to it in droves.

>>85557186
Hey you take that back, he accurately potrayed the look of confusion that anyone who actually has to do dealings with the joker would have

>>85558670
I hope this will teach the (surviving) distributors a valuable lesson

>>85558790
Probably a tax write off

>>85556588
What I don't understand is that this Besson motherfucker is trying to be better than Hollywood at making Hollywoodian movies.
Dude you're french ffs, just do your big budget movies but try to add some quality and some deeper meaning phylosophical shit to your films, focus on the quality of the dialogues etc. instead of focusing on the quantity of special effects, the quips and other stupid shit like hollywood does.

Seriously, if the frogs were good at making blockbusters, Hollywood would be in France rather than in California.

>>85558843
Honestly this

Don't be a bigger merchant than merchants in hollywood

>>85558727
Yeah, he literally says that in the article.

Maleritrix: Prostate and the Solution of Malibatrosse.

>>85556588
it doesn't open in australia for two weeks, mong.

>>85558932
Based straya will save Valeryan!

Bloody oath cunt

>>85558791
>It's sad that it if this was part of some Comic Book Universe or Book Adaption

it is , its a direct adaption of a long running comic

>>85557464
Yes. The opening in France was good (obviously) but it's a disaster everywhere else. In Germany for example, it ended below DM3's third weekend.

>>85557501
No, but Besson is.
>http://deadline.com/2017/07/valerian-who-loses-luc-besson-europacorp-fundamental-films-stx-1202134583/
>When the film came to STX, the July 21 date came with it even though it was on the same day that Warner Bros.’ Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk was opening. There was a discussion as to what to do and whether they should move Valerian off that date. The decision was made by Besson and EuropaCorp to stick with the July 21 date.
>As it stands, however, the Frenchman believes moviegoers will likely divide along generational lines. "Everyone under 50 will go see Valerian", Besson says, "and everyone above 50 will go see Dunkirk.
Besson literally thought everybody except for the elderly was dying to see his "masterpiece".

>>85560498
>Besson literally thought everybody except for the elderly was dying to see his "masterpiece".
hollywood hack lives in a bubble, no surprise there

>>85557467
I actually didn't mind the movie. They really butchered the end though.

Is it good tho ? As a frog I want to believe

Stop casting that eyebrows bitch in movies. She is awful.

>>85560614
kys yourself

I don't even have an explanation as to why I thought seeing this was a good idea. I just like going to movies. Even when they are horrendous, I get a good red pill review to share with you guys. So here goes

We start with a race of elegant, innocent, peaceful, pale blue people who do nothing but dance and collect pearls on their majestic beach planet. everything is rendered in cgi that looks like it's from 2009. A clear stand-in for [insert oppressed group that dindu nuffin]. The males are all very effeminate looking and have obviously female voices so it's essentially all female race. Their homes look exactly like vaginas, not exaggerating at all I couldn't believe how their houses looked. One day their blissful lives are rocked by an intergalactic war being waged by fucking-white-males. Seriously. Infinite different alien species exist in the movie but the primary beings who are evil are not just humans but specifically white men. Evil trump stand-in orders wmd launch. Merciful Black subordinate warns of intelligent life on the beach planet. Trump clone doesn't care. Too busy being a fucking-white-male. Wmds deploy. Explosions, ships fall on planet. A few dindus survive in wreckage but the planet is obliterated. 6 million dindus die. Specific number mentioned (I can't stand antisemites but God what a stupid allegory). Later, trump clone murders merciful black subordinate to cover his tracks

>>85556818
>particularly stupid aspect of the movie was how rihanna's character was introduced in this totally unnecessary dance interlude while valerian's true love and partner is captured by violent aliens
you're right except for the "violent aliens". They literally fished her out and were represented pretty comically (minus the part then the king gets that tool for opening her skull).
>and then rihanna dies from a off-screen wound literally like 15 minutes later
this was a bummer, and she wasn't a bad character imo. I felt sorry for her, if you need to feel sorry for anyone innocent dying that's your problem dude.

>>85560864
Skip to heroes. Impossibly bad dialogue establishes male lead as a hot shot player who's afraid of commitment. He flirts with female lead and work mate who is a strong female character. She lectures him about being cocky and irresponsible. She's never wrong. Smarter than everyone. Beats up grown men while being petite. The whole 9. Male lead inexplicably turns extra strength blue pill and asks female lead to marry him. He begs thru the entire movie. She denies him and shames him the whole movie. Played for laughs. Not a single funny moment in the film.

Main setting is a giant multicultural intergalactic space station where thousands of creatures pool knowledge and culture together. Some how no wars or major culture clashes ever. However, dindus survived and are hiding in the space station. Trump clone is attempting to wipe them out and cover over his accidental genocide by convincing everyone that they are an evil unknown threat. Trump clone parrots vaguely trump like rhetoric about humans and humans first, economic concerns, etc, before devolving into a tirade and becoming a one dimensional selfish moron. It's so pathetic and transparent that you can't even hate this non character. It's nothing but clumsy anti trump virtue signaling. That was the whole point of the movie. Anyway, his plan fails. At one point, trump clone is captured and for no discernable plot related reason, female lead gets on top of him and punches him in the face over and over for like a minute. Extremely wierd and put of place. I guess it was meant to be cathartic for the audience. I digress. Dindus are saved, some sacred whatever restores their beach planet, male proposes to female again. She rejects him but then they kiss anyway after record breaking bad dialogue. Roll credits. Drink bleach

>>85560785

Go home Cara.

>>85560864
>>85560884
I'm sorry that I can't give you a more detailed answer, but you are a definition of a pleb.

>>85557439
It can't JUST be a space movie. The plot and characters have to stand on their own without the Scifi element.

For example, A New Hope was a coming of age story, it could have been set anywhere (Ancient Japan, Medieval Europe, Meso America, or even modern times) and still have been just as enjoyable.

What would you guys do with a 200 mil budget?
Me? I don't have the slightest idea

>>85556851
I think it was worth seeing.

>>85561099
The plot and the story of valerian is very nice and elegant, it's on the same level as the story in the fifth element.

>>85556588
A big part of the budget is however made up from pre-sales outside of the US (don't know how that works). And they got some money from like the french government or something (don't know how that worked either). So the film flopping isn't as bad as it seems. The comic is also really popular in france, so it's probably going to go pretty well in Europe. I'm gonna see it because I like Luc Bessons style, even if he have made some bad movies.

>>85556851
it's a very good movie and will be a cult classic, so go watch it in theaters when you still have a chance.

>>85561191
Luc goto bed

>>85561191
Go to bed, Luc.

>>85557467
>>85560567
The movie was a fucking crime on the source material.

>>85561214
nice argument pleb retard.

I thought it looked rad, can I watch it just for the visuals or the movie is really trash?

>>85557799
>CGI is really expensive, no idea why people think otherwise
If that was the case though, why keep throwing money at it? The best looking movies are always the ones that do a smart job of mixing practical effects and CG. There are flicks from decades ago like Jurassic Park, Matrix, or LOTR, that can go toe to toe with current movies because the people making them understood the limitations of the medium. No excuse for that not to be doable with a budget this size.

>>85556588
For a $200mil budget why couldn't you cast someone like Henry Cavil and Kate Mara for the main leads.

Also why wouldn't you just follow the plot of comic which is "by the book time cop travels back to medieval France and accidentally rescues peasant girl while trying to stop mad scientist".

>>85561305
the visuals are very good, and is the rest of the movie.

>>85560785
YOURSELF!

>>85561178
Except it really is as bad as it seems (>>85560498):
>EuropaCorp’s stock has dipped 9.4% in trading on the Paris stock exchange over the past two days which comes only a month after EuropaCorp took a $136M write-off. Remember: Fundamental — apart from their 28% and roughly $67M equity stake in EuropaCorp — is also on the hook for about $50M in equity in the picture.

>Added another executive: “Everyone is going to lose money on this. It’s sad actually. This kind of failure actually hurts the business, not just the companies with a financial stake involved.”
>But this kind of capital loss is making observers nervous that the Chinese investors — which basically has bouyed many productions in Hollywood — may start heading to the exits.
And it's already bombed in Europe as well. It opened well in France only, but France can't save a movie with a budget this huge.

>>85557799
>Film studios go CGI for convenience, not to save a buck

I remember when they use to tout it as the greatest money saver the film industry would ever see. Now all it does is run up the bill so that everything "looks right" according to the script/source material

>>85561354
Because using CGI allows the movie makers show everything, which is a part of the problem really.

Back in the day, the directors needed to plan carefully what they would show, from what angles they'd show it and how it all would be lit in order to hide things that don't look so good.

Now directors can change things on they fly and rely on the fact that almost everything can be fixed in the post.

In a word, movie makers have become lazy.

>>85561346
>>85561354

Sorry, replied on wrong post, I meant to reply on the first one.>>85561453

>>85556603
Moon

>>85561436
it flopped cause the burger primitive taste in what is good or bad is the global norm. If you watch the reviews, valerian literally went over their head.
>muh miscast and no chemistry
bullshit, like any of the characters from the new star wars have it or are charismatic, americans only like thinks that are familiar and bland.

>>85561305
The visuals are as good as the leads are wooden.

>>85561554
Valerian is surrender monkey feminist garbage. Yeah americunts will only applaud a movie that they like, but get your head out of your ass, because nobody likes the french and that's why they don't care for the shitty movie.

It might be just me but I didn't find the trailers for this, or jupiter ascending, or ender's game, appealing at all.
they may as well just be the same film

>>85561554
>muh americans
>ignoring the fact that it flopped all over the world
The acting and writing was bad by any standards, mate.

>>85561554
Dindu McStormtrooper ended up being the most likeable character because of how average he was (unlike Mary Sue Rey)

>>85561650
>Valerian is surrender monkey feminist garbage.
holy shit, it has literally zero things to do with feminism you loudmouth pleb. Go back to /pol/ you literal moron.

>>85561709
the acting was fine, the biggest mistake was a slight miscast of the male lead. If you liked the fifth element and are not a particle effects retard, there is no reason not to like valerian.

>>85561725
>claims valerian went over their head
>doesn't seem to be aware that it's based on some older french, feminist sci-fi garbage
>"hurr it has 0 things to do with feminism"

kys frog

Don't worry, when it comes out in Australia I will go watch it.

>>85561835
t. victorian fudge packer

>>85561823
>sci-fi garbage
you're factually wrong nigger, just go back to /pol/, that's the containment board for people that have difficulties using google and reading.

>>85558791
If it was called Star Wars and the city of a thousand planets and nothing else was changed it would've made a billion easy

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>>85556603
good scifi is in tv now

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>numale in leadrole
>goblin fridge as sidekick
>bad CGI , bad CGI everywhere
>boring plot
>made by some loser who made like 2 average movies in the last 20 years

yeah who could have seen that coming that it fails and flops?

>>85561879
>thinks I or the rest of the world care about the french in any regard
>wonders why the french flicks flopping
I think all that time choking on arab cocks has given you brain damage

>>85561554

Go home Luc.

>>85561920
your standard burger audience member.

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>>85556588
This was considered good casting

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>>85562005
I'm actually european

checkmate

>>85560864
>>85560884
Trump voting republican here who browses /pol/ sometimes. You're a fucking idiot

>>85556588
The 2 people they cast look evil

>>85557461
If you liked Tucker's character - then you'll like this

>>85561346
Because when everything can be fixed in post, you can hire amateur stooge to direct whatever corporate, color-by-numbers piece of trash you've decided to shit out. And control over every aspect of the product is far more valuable to these studios than anything like quality.

>>85562045
probably some balkannigger then
>>85562028
I think that shot of the movie was a problematic marketing move. People think that the characters actually dress that way in the movie, when in fact they are deliberately dressed like retards because they're going undercover as tourists.

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>>85562028
>need manly dude with a real Jaw
>cast a numale manlet instead

>need a hot redhead
>cast Cara the Breshnev Fridge instead

Can't make this shit up.

>>85562117
I read somewhere that he couldn't cast a red-head because he made milas hair red in 5th element as a homage to valerian and laurelinne

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>>85562116
Nope, German so somebody whos money actually counts.
And none of my precious Euros will go to this shitty movie :)

>>85562058
That's the only good argument I've heard.

Valerian in this movie isn't meant to be a square jawed standard here. He's meant to be afucking asshole, and Dane did a good job.

>>85562168
>German
Being nu-french isn't something brag about hanz

>male lead is 30 y/o
>looks like 17
How did they cgi him to look so young?

>>85562162
What a fucking retarded reason to not cast an actual hot redhead girl.

>>85562215
He's french. Being cuckolds is in their blood.

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>>85556588
>current year
>spending money on a non-capeshit, non-starwars movie
why even bother?

>>85562259
He was a fan of the source material. This was a passion project

>>85562239
I can only shake my head whenever I read something new about this turd of a movie.

And whats the reason for the Manlet numale when they actually needed a beef mclargehuge?

>>85562278
No idea. Honestly don't know if what I read was truth or gossip as I never saved the source, so don't take my word for any of it

>>85561554
Your clearly a soft headed commie.

>>85562278
Because it's not written as that sort of character.

>>85562275
still, someone else had to finance it and thought it was a good idea? you can't make money anymore with movies unless you have a title that everybody knows and it's kind of trendy.

>>85558727
>>85556588
and are you happy for that?

of course, you can watch Shit Wars 17 and 24 capeshit movies

>>85562168
>German
doubt it really.

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Why didn't they make the actors look like their QT animu counterparts?

>>85556588
why not call it guardians of the galaxy 3? that would have worked

>>85562306
It sounds like truth tho and it wouldn't surprise me that much.

>>85562341
But look at the pic here >>85562028
and compare to the numale manlet in the movie.

>>85562434
Compared and then realized that Besson is doing something different. ie. a vain comedically egotistical douche.

Dane did fine.

The dialogue needed some work though. Too blunt.

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>>85562406
Sorry it's actually a cartoon not animu. It's pretty comfy tbqh

>>85562368
Disney movies suck, but at least their mildly entertaining.

>>85562383
you better believe it

>>85558979
i'll do it singlehandedly. every time some cunt posts on /tv/ that it's shit, i'm gonna buy a ticket. i might not even see it more than about eight times, but i am going to keep buying the tickets. just to fuck the shitposters up.

>>85558791
Nice bait

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>>85560143
kids can't even fucking google any more. you make me sick.

>>85562462
I don't think so, totally miscast here.

To me it looks like they were forced to give the lead roles to these ugly fucks and try to make it work.

>>85562521
>dude in comic is a tall chad
>when they make the movie they use a 1,73m manlet numale

lol

>>85561917

It still blows my mind that scifi actually made a good show.

>>85562532
Maybe.
Dane was put into a similar position in A Cure For Wellness, where he had to be a stoic gothic hero and I enjoyed him there. Maybe because of that I was more used to him here

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>>85560864
honestly this is what I thought about the movie fucking /pol/

>>85562532
I just wished he was more dandy, still not a total miscast as many say, the dude did fine, nothing worse than the boyega dude in star wars

>>85562603
This. It baffles me how people will call Cara and Dane unlikeable and bland yet praise Daisy Ridley

>>85561178
Dutch comic fan here, no it is not a big European comic like Asterix or Tintin, this is also for a niche audience outside of France

>>85562603
Definitely. He has one or two lines that made me think that he was going to be more of a dandy, and that would have been fun.

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Valerian and Jupiter Ascending were both better than GotG and TFA and they both bombed. fucking kill me

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>>85562603
>he was more dandy
you can't beat dandy baby.
although the aliens in this movie are space dandy tier good.

>>85562168
>tegernseer hell
my nigger

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>>85562596
But in that movie he was a good cast because his face and body and acting match the role.

>>85562603
I'm not even comparing it to anything, just saying objectively its a shit movie with a shitty cast.

>>85562597
Is that review of that guy actually what really happens in the movie?
Holy shit if yes

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>>85562162
S-so? How does that prevent him from casting a hot redhead? 5th element came out 20 years ago, I don't think anyone would have given him shit for it.

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Shit casting on top of horrifically blatant political pandering made me lost any and all interest and I'm basically the #1 target audience for this shit...

>>85556914
Is the 3d effect any good?
First I heard it was made with 3d in mind, but lately I heard it was faked 3d not really rendered/shot with 2 cameras, is this real?

>>85562743
what political pandering?
also how close was it to the source material?

>>85562695
If you've ever watched the cartoon version, it's basically space dandy lite

>>85562722
>Is that review of that guy actually what really happens in the movie?
>Holy shit if yes
pretty much even my brothers who is not very racist said the dindus aliens are a metaphor for refugees

>>85560952
Not an argument

>>85562722
why is it shit? I would be fine if you said it was bad, or that you didn't like it, but why SHIT? Please for the love of god, give me a good reason

>>85562785
man why has this shit to be everywhere?

>>85562752
There really isn't any but I suppose this anon is comparing a few aliens who had their planet blown up and having nowhere to go to the whole Syria thing

>>85562743
It was "political" but not preachy.

I mean, the government is not portrayed as bad, just the villain.

>>85562047
Not an argument

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>>85562752

If the sole fact that a vapid SJW whore like Rihanna is on the cover isn't a big enough warning you're retarded.

Also why the fuck would you give the French money in current year? Let them burn and be raped.

>>85562792
see >>85561920

>>85562676
Yeah, that what happens when you do good marketing campaigns and make people interested in your movie instead of thinking that you're a genuis director and that the average american will immediatly notice it.

>>85562743
there is NO political pander to speak of, let alone "blatant".
Why the fuck are you guys saying this shit

>>85556782
>How does a CGI movie cost so much?

Proffesional 3D animators can find job in multiple industries and therefore have high salaries. Computers and programs for 3D animation are pretty expensive as well.

>>85556588
you all complaining about
>leads are literal whos, a model and a twink
but new star wars had a literal who and a nigger and you still went and watch that awful movie. Oscar isaac was probably the only interesting actor in there no, leia and han were a lame attempt to play with your nostalgiachewbacca too

>>85562821
I ain't giving them money, don't worry buddy

>>85562796
It's only going to get worse and you can't escape it.

I hope Luc at least got to fuck Cara.

>>85562789
no dude, you wrote two whole posts and didn't write one coherent honest opinion/argument on the movie.

>>85562833
>being this bluepilled
let me give you the big enchilada
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NVsyMalJXo

>>85562857
see >>85562828
When you're shit at marketing, make sure the final product is good so that at least you benefit from a good word of mouth like the Star Wars OT did

>>85562900
>refugees never existed until Syrian ones

>>85562892
Lol I didn't write it

>>85562827
those are all factually wrong or forced memes. Get out you retard.

>>85562934
Go to bed Breshnev, nobody wants to see your fridge ass on screen

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>>85562833
>>85562833

It's all blatantly obvious pro immigrant and pro globalist propaganda which frames Western philosophy as the big bad guy. I'm sorry that you are already too far gone to be able to think critically about mass produced garbage meant for the sheep who waste their slave dollars on garbage meant to alter their perspective while it's made by people who are part of a dying culture as another way to virtue signal about how superior they themselves are in yet another display of flagrant European trash hypocrisy.

The cast is some of the most insufferable cunts around.

>>85561305
>>85556588

Just saw it last night.

Cara is a poor actor, Dane is no leading man, the two leads have no romantic chemistry. Rihanna's acting looked decent in comparison.

I went because the visuals in the trailer looked amazing, but all the best stuff is in the trailer. The rest of the movie is people walking around in a desert, a virtual third world market, boring spacestation, etc. Just rewatch the trailer a couple of times and wait for cable.

The plot was a mish mash of sjw white guilt. The holocaust of albino natives (literally six million), corrupt government officials covering up to avoid reparations, Rihanna being an illegal alien "dying is better than going back".

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>>85562989

Just like the French faggots responsible for it.

>>85556588
Just seeing the trailer is enough to see it's going to be a huge flop.

They need to do more focus groups before releasing a movie.
Luc besson will probably never make another big budgeted movie after this.

>>85562900
>DUDE THE ELITES LMAO

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>>85563061
>every trailer calls the movie "groundbreaking"
>turns out to be utter shit

>>85563073
>not believing in interdimensional psychic vampires
never gonna make it

>>85562900
you are just hiding your plebism and hate behind stupid memes.

The romantic leads look and like brother and sister.

>>85562967
>pro globalist propaganda
>the movie has an anti globalist plot
fuck off retard and head back to your containment board.

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>>85563149
>implying Alex Jones is not love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na4GYyJwYjQ

>>85563033
how can someone be so pleb?

>>85563061
>They need to do more focus groups before releasing a movie.
literally the biggest problem of the industry is praised on this board, fucking shit...

>>85563221
Hot

>>85556851
I enjoyed it. Bad chemistry between Question-of-the-Day and Ms.Eyebrow but the visuals were incredible imo and the general concept of a lot of the set-pieces and characters is pretty cool (like the virtual marketplace for example).

>>85562047
YOURE the idiot.

>>85562676
Holy shit, this is approaching levels of contrarianism never thought possible.

>>85563434
it's not even contrarianism. these movies are just more fun and creative than "Capeshit in Space" and "A New Hope 1.5"

>>85563388
>(like the virtual marketplace for example).

The cut away gag when we see the sprawling scope of the market and then the reality of people shambling in an empty desert got a big laugh. Very fun fight scene too.

>>85563503
is it really?

>>85563061
Just knowing the movie's title was enough to see it was going to be a huge flop. Not only there was no demand for a Valerian movie but there isn't even any demand for any kind of Valerian product, even in France.

Besson probably is an autistic nerd who has a niche interest no one else cares about and dedicates his entire career to share his interest with as many people as he can only to realize 40 years later that no one ever gave a shit about it then, no one gives a shit now and no one ever will give a shit about it.

Reminds me of that one time I was in an hospital to visit a family member and a random guy with down syndrom tried to share with me his passion for the novel he was writing.

>>85563536
yes, have you fucking watched TFA?

>>85563503
>fun
>creative
yes yes however
>politically motivated
>feminist filmaking
>terrible acting
>horrendous special effects
>bad casting choices

This is why GotG and Force Awakens were good movies in addition to being fun, while Jupiter Ascending and Valerian are garbage fires.

>>85563536
no, I'm lying, I haven't even seen Valerian. but I did think Jupiter Ascending was better than GOTG and TFA even though it had problems (2 boring leads)

>>85563558
>Besson probably is an autistic nerd who has a niche interest no one else cares about and dedicates his entire career to share his interest with as many people as he can only to realize 40 years later that no one ever gave a shit about it then, no one gives a shit now and no one ever will give a shit about it.
as a director, what should he care about? making money? He's not a burger.

>>85556588
We should all lament the failure of this film because ultimately this just encourages studios to never sink large amounts of money into untested original IPs, to stick to the Feige-formula and play it safe, make back the budget and forget about it instantly, then shit out the next one.... If you want there to be a new "Star Wars", i.e. something original and amazing that takes over the world

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>>85556588
I feel for you, France. A British film based on a British comic didn't do overly well at the cinema in recent years.

>>85563565
>>85563600
yes, TFA was shit like all of star wars but kind of fun still, everybody is saying this one had boring dynamics between the characters and a grand amount of virtue signalling, that doesn't sound fun.

but it may be /pol/ exaggerating, you never know on this site

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>>85563628
>as a director, what should he care about?
making a good movie, and he failed and should commit sudoku.

>>85563628
Making good movies would be a start.

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>>85561354
>For a $200mil budget why couldn't you cast someone like Henry Cavil and Kate Mara for the main leads.

Luc Besson wanted young leads.

>>85561346
>If that was the case though, why keep throwing money at it?

CGI is usually cheaper than well made practical effects and there aren't that many actually good practical effects people around as stuff is usually done with CGI. Lot of people that made stuff for effects heavy movies in 70's, 80's and 90's are now old and possibly retired.

>There are flicks from decades ago like Jurassic Park, Matrix, or LOTR, that can go toe to toe with current movies because the people making them understood the limitations of the medium.

LOTR was known as the green screen movie for long time, even when they used a lot of practical effects, forced perspectives and shieet. IMHO the perfect example of blending of CGI and practical FX is Terminator 2. It had tons of CGI for early 90's movie, but there is lot of classic tricks like using identical twins and robotics.

>>85562368
>and are you happy for that?

Nope. Casting is disaster. Dane DeHaan isn't fit for his role. Valerian is supposed to be pretty James Bond-ish character, who later on devolves into Indiana Jones-ish guy who fucks up a lot of stuff in comical way. Add good deal of guilt for being involved in faustian deal that wipes out future of humanity.

>>85563628
>what should he care about?
He should probably care about what the public cares about and the quality of his movies before his own autistic interests.

>>85563642
> If you want there to be a new "Star Wars", i.e. something original and amazing that takes over the world
not trying to troll but anyway star wars was always shit

and you are never going to get new original ideas being successful in big budget movies. it's not a marketing thing, it's a format thing, cinema can't be monetized anymore except for a few big films that take all the market (cape-shit and star wars 32), or doing shitty low budget pandering shit (horror or comedy) that will cost 0 and make a few millions if you are lucky.

>>85563319
>literally the biggest problem of the industry is praised on this board, fucking shit...

If they wanted to make a mediocre adventure movie, they should have had more focus groups.
They failed even at that, obviously they're not talented enough to pull off doing on their own.

>>85563558
I think giving the audience what they want is a mistake, a good entertainer will sell you on anything, even an antiquated Sci-fi, fantasy story.

The problem lies with the producers on this one, this sort of story doesn't sell anymore, they need to update it for today's audience while knowing their target demographics.

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I still don't understand why they had to cast a manlet numale as the lead.

Cara I can understand because rich daddy moneys but the numale, why the numale manlet?

>>85563655
Better casting at least.

>>85563859
it's for teen girls who are into that look i guess

I really hope you guys shed a tear after you find out the whites genocided 6 (six) millions of those wonderful, more intelligent than the average aliens.

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>>85563818
>a good entertainer will sell you on anything, even an antiquated Sci-fi, fantasy story.

but then the other faggots like (((producers))) come and force you to make a numale the main lead, some goblin fridge as the sidekick and they outsource all effects as CGI to the cheapest motherfucker around, then they demand that the plot has to do with todays political bullshit and that refugees, jews and niggers should be a thing and white males as the bad guys etc.

and in the end you get this steamy turd that nobody wants to see.

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>>85563907
>implying teen girls want numale manlets

>>85562821
>SJW Whore
>Rhianna
you're one of those rap = retards attempting poetry hicks are you?

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JUST

>>85563818
>a good entertainer will sell you on anything, even an antiquated Sci-fi, fantasy story.
You probably mean a good marketer. The quality of the movie has little to do with is commercial success TFA

>>85563818
>a good entertainer will sell you on anything, even an antiquated Sci-fi, fantasy story.
your choice of words and term are cancerous.

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>>85562725
>I don't think anyone would have given him shit for it.

Could Cara have pulled off the red hair?

I think yes

>>85563960
well when i was a teenager they liked skinny little scene boys

>>85563925
The movie was produced by Besson and his black wife which she has this to say:

>In 2010, Time quoted Luc saying she was a more perfect producer than he was and that she hereby enabled him to focus on directing his artistically most demanding, sumptuous film The Lady (2011)

A director should never be the producer, not everyone is a Kubrick.

>>85564053
I didn't mean literally sell you the movie, I meant that you'll find it entertaining even if at first you thought it's something you're 100% not into.
For example Rocky, you can find the movie entertaining even if you hate boxing.

>>85562117
I really didn't care much about Kara but Luc fucked up the casting with Valerian who's supposed to be this >6" chad alpha male

>>85564037
>>85563960
>>85563925
>>85563859
>>85562278
Ok, we get it, you hate Dane DeHaan, you can stop posting now.

CG artists are overpaid primadonnas.

>>85564303
No

>>85556603
>People just don't give a shit about space movies
>Gravity, Interstellar, The Martian, etc. make money
Sorry buddy, Cara is shit.

>>85562695
Man, space dandy was fucking great
I wish it got a third season

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>>85564250
Don't forget its a french movie

>>85564333
"""""""""artists"""""""
can't really call it art when it's bland and boring rehashed sci-fi crap

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>>85564427

>>85561774
Has it got any of the charm of Fifth Element? A Bruce Willis? A Milla Jovovich? A Chris Tucker?
Gary Oldman? That cast could sell a flick set against a white background and no music.

Two boring ass leads and generic sci-fi glitz cannot sell a movie.

I liked it.

>>85564514
good on you, m8. I liked it too

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>>85562214
He's the next DiCaprio

>>85564545
Di Caprio isn't a Manlet tho

>>85564545
except, famous or not DiCaprio is legit good looking, DeHaan would be incel tier if he wasn't rich and famous

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>>85564634
he could play adam lanza in the inevitable biopic

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>>85563642
>original IPs

It is based on comic that ran from late 60's to 2010.

>If you want there to be a new "Star Wars", i.e. something original and amazing that takes over the world

It is quite funny as Star Wars borrowed a lot of it's visual look from Valerian. Original Star Wars wasn't cheap movie, but it was far from the most expensive one.

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>>85562743
>blatant political pandering
Gee, who could be behind this post

>>85564491
>Has it got any of the charm of Fifth Element? A Bruce Willis? A Milla Jovovich? A Chris Tucker?
>Gary Oldman? That cast could sell a flick set against a white background and no music.
that cast is now exaggerated. It was a different time and by todays standards it has an okay cast. ethan hawke was golden, Clive Owen was also good, ri ri was okay and didn't overstay her welcome.

Nothing about this movie looked interesting
Why are they wearing prometheus suits????

>>85565151
to hide Breshnevs Fridge Body

>>85565151
>prometheus suits
yeah, cause promotheus invented space suits right?
I fucking hate you loudmouth plebs that think you know anything when in fact your whole knowledge is based off the 5 movies you've watched.

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>>85565460
Vaginian is literally worse than Prometheus and had to rip off its space suits because they couldn't come up with a better design

top kek

Cara Delevingne is literally 10/10 but honestly nobody wants to see shitty soft sci-fi that isn't somehow connected to Fag Wars or cape-shit nowadays, which is good, except people still watch Fag Wars and cape-shit.

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>>85565460
You're damn right mr shill sir.

He should've called them pacific rim suits instead!

Someone save this SHITTY THREAD AND POST CARAS GODDAMNIT

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>>85565542
here you go
dem tits hnnnnnnng

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>>85565542
As you wish.

>>85565460
Sorry I didn't know the costume designer for Valerian was in the thread

>>85565710
I want to fuck her eyebrows

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>>85565710
that sloped neanderthal forehead could deflect AP rounds with ease

>>85561243
Bingo. And that is a big reason why the movie is failing.

>>85563226
can you please explain how does the movie have an anti globalist plot?

>>85561554
>it flopped cause the burger primitive taste in what is good or bad is the global norm.

Pot. Kettle. Black.

You know, the French are supposed to be the avant garde of good taste. I can only assume you're French and yet you push this bilge. If you're representative of today's French culture, the world should start looking elsewhere for a steward of what is good taste.

>>85563594
>implying TFA wasn't politically motivated and didn't suffer from feminism

Why'd they get two really ugly dudes as the leads

>>85563859
everything that looks remotely manly is fascist and toxic in america, you are lucky that this faggot didn't get fucked with a strapon by the eyebrow woman on screen

>>85566778
but wasn't this a french movie?

>>85556588
its a movie for kids.

its a "kids save the universe" movie

adults wont pay to watch this garbage

>>85562005
And yet the frogs are so desperate to earn the burger audience money that they sold their souls to make a movie that catered to burgers.

>>85566824
nah it's catered to americans, notice the actors and who is invovled, french government couldn't let the chance of being part of some failure go so they had to put some money in it

>>85566848
looks like a spykids ripoff, my gf wanted to see it but then I showed her this thread here and now she doesn't want it anymore.
now she wants to see Nolan Kino instead.

thx /tv/

>>85561917
looks like shit

>>85562368
>and are you happy for that?
You bet. I hope all crappy movies lose a ton of money. Maybe that'll convince movie makers to stop churning out trash.

>of course, you can watch Shit Wars 17 and 24 capeshit movies
I can hardly wait for those movies to start tanking hard at the box office. But in the meantime, Americans are eating up a lot of the IP movies.

>>85561917
Couldn't even finish the first episode

>>85562485
At $17 million gross so far, if we assume $180 million was spent, then you'll only need to buy 16,300,000 tickets at $10 ($12.50 AUD) apiece to save this film. You're better off taking the money, making your own Valerian et Laureline film, and going it right.

>>85561437

That's just Hollywood accounting. CGI costs way less than location shooting and the logistics associated with that.

>>85562752
>what political pandering?
You know how some people smell badly but don't seem to notice it? So it goes with this movie. It's preachy and it's annoying.

>>85556603
more like everyone knows besson is a hack that got lucky with leon and the fifth element. also, no one wants to see cara delememe

>>85566848
the main guy is over 30 years old tho.

>>85567361
but as tall as a 13yo

>>85562883
of course he did. every old, wrinkled man in the modelling and show business industry has fucked her. how do you think she broke into those industries and why do you think she's lesbian? if i were a woman who had to have sex with a bunch of nasty, old men, i'd probably become a lesbian too.

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I must have been injured in the last battle.

>>85561721
this.

>>85567526
her 5 head keeps getting bigger.
its literally almost 50% of her whole fucking face now.

>>85557461
jhjjjbjjb

>>85567526
This was fucking dumb. Why not just make her get injured in the fall or something

>>85561917
>not pew pew explosion shit
picked up

>>85556588
starring cara delivigne aka box office poison

>>85556588
I bet a large portion of that budget went on Cara's delevingne

It's actually fine, not losing a dollar

funded 100% before filming by foreign pre sales, every article on movie states this

>>85569025
Which is fine but it doesn't make the movie any better

>>85556588
>Luc Besson

Oh shit. I might have actually gone to see it if I knew that. I always loved The Fifth Element.

>>85556818
That sounds like a callback to the blue alien singer in Fifth Element.

The creature designs were really nice and the soundtrack worked well for the most part (like David Bowie's Space Oddity in the opening montage), but the two lead actors were terrible and the story wasn't very interesting. It's worth watching once for the visual elements, but it wasn't as enjoyable as the Fifth Element.

>>85569267
That's the impression I got too. It was actually much shorter than the scene in fifth element

Seeing this today, anyone see it in 3D and would you recommend that or just save the $$
I don't really like 3D but I guess this is a visual masterpiece or whatever.

>>85569587
nah its shit, don't bother.
watch Nolan Kino instead

>>85569587
3D never enhances.

Watch in 2D

>>85569603
>WOOOOOM
>WOOOOOM
>World War II™ Now in IMAX™
nah fuck that I want laser guns n sheeit

>>85569624
Yeah I agree, only a couple movies have I ever liked the 3D, it's annoying and pointless normally.

test

This has to be one of those tax schemes.

>>85570050
Apparently they know what they're doing, financials of the global film industry are always so murky
http://www.cinemablend.com/news/1674270/why-valerian-isnt-actually-a-financial-gamble-at-all

>>85562406
Nice ass.

>>85567526
Is Rhienna's role big in the movie? Does he have lines and shit?

>>85570728
*she

>>85570751
Haven't seen it yet but reviewers said she was one of the best parts of the movie so yeah I think it's a real role where she talks and stuff

>>85556588
It did bad because it's another turd. Why would I go watch a sci-fi movie about teenagers? I want hard sci-fi, with violence

So is it one guy that has been complaining about the "manlet numale" in the thread?

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>>85571038
not that guy but he has a point and I see it mentioned in every thread that the cast is a big reason why the movie wasnt successfull.

>>85570728
She does have lines.

It's not a big role, but more than a cameo. Minor character.

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>>85571038
it was all me james

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>>85556588
>ywn get a good adaptation of the foundation
>ywn get a good adaptation of dune
>ywn get a new star wars that isnt pandering
liking science fiction is suffering

>>85570796
The fact that critics say good things about Rihanna with her complete lack of acting talent tells a lot how bad Dane and Cara are as leads.

>>85571038
There is more than one person complaining about cast. Both lead roles have shit tier casting.

>>85564865
He is not wrong

>>85564303
t. Dane

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>>85556603
>Star Wars
>Star Trek
>Interstellar
>Gravity
>The Martian

Eh?

>>85556588

I love space stuff but this looks silly as fuck and those actors are terrible. Trailer was complete garbage.

>>85561917
>no whiffle/ballistic shields, magnetic field generators or radiators
>ships fly 4 feet from each other
>flying combat ships at all instead of using drones
this is what normies think is realistic?

>>85563594
>Force awakens
>good
who let the redditor in

>>85561102
2 chicks at the same time, man.

>>85574777
Nice trips

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>>85575444

>>85569025
can you please explain what foreign presales mean?

>>85575915
It means people who don't know anything about anything like to repeat easily digestible terms and act like they're in the know, even though they don't know jack shit.
Surprise surprise, everyone including the studio that made this movie is losing money because of its flop. SAVE US PRESALES!

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>>85562562
>>dude in comic is a tall chad
>>when they make the movie they use a 1,73m manlet numale
I wonder why that could be...

>>85576319
BESSON: The couple, to me, is a reflection of the society today. The man has the title. He’s in charge. He’s overpaid. He’s lying. He’s pretentious. In the society today, the one ruling the house is the woman. I wanted this couple to be the same. Valerian says “I’m the hero of the film!” The girls says, “Sure…” because she knows it’s her. I love that. It’s too late now to have the superhero full of muscles and pretending he knows everything.

http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2017/07/21/valerian-director-luc-besson-thinks-men-are-overrated-and-video-games-are-m

>>85576400
what a fucking idiot.
and now he stads there with the biggest blunder of 2017.

>>85576319
I'll play devils advocate and he's not ENTIRELY wrong. If a woman is well written in a cool role and not just
>YAAAAASSSSS QUEEN GIRL POWER!!!
She can be cool

>>85571599
foundation could still happen at a TV channel or one of those webchannel things
saint villeneuve will knock dune out of the park
as for star wars, that was always fantasy and not science fiction so I have no idea why you care about it

>>85576400
This was the same cunt that made lucy, right?