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>driving down road
>come to a stoplight
>guy pulls up beside me and waves
>slowly lower window as I stare at him
>"Hey, bro, I'm trying to get to Washington St. Could you point me in the right direction?"
>"..."
>"Hey, man, you okay?"
>"... There's a hundred-thousand streets in this city. You don't need to know the route."
>the stoplight has cycled through green,yellow,and red four times at this point
>"What? Bro, do I need to call a hospital?"
>"... Wanna fight?"
>"Excuse me?"
>"... How bout this. You shut your mouth or I'll kick your teeth down your throat and shut it for you."
>he looks over at his wife sitting in the passenger seat
>she shrugs
>"... I don't have wheels on my car."
>"What are you talking about, bro?"
>the wife puts her hand on his shoulder
>"Why don't you just drive away? Come on."
>"... It's a little more complicated than that. He raped and killed a 16-year-old girl."
>the guy puts his hands up
>"Whoh, whoh, whoh."
>the wife glares at him
>get out of my car and walk to his door
>"... Can I talk to you? I won't keep you long. I have to go somewhere and I don't think I can come back. But I just wanted you to know. Getting to be around you and Benicio was the best thing that ever happened to me."
>"You're crazy bro! Get away from me!"
>open the door and drag him out
>start beating the shit out of him with a hammer
>"I LOVE YOU KIDS," he screams
>his children cry in the backseat
>his wife whimpers and goes into the fetal position
>guy bleeds to death
>look up at the wife
>"... Now, you just got a little boy's father killed. And you almost got us killed."
>"YOU'RE A MONSTER!"
>"..."
>"..."
>"..."
>"Want a toothpick?"
REEEEALLLL HUMAN BEEEAAANNN
>>
I chuckled. But you forgot to mention your jacket and driving gloves.
>>
>>85496103
*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...
But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps?
Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to.
Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your D R I V E.
See you on the boards...
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