https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNS rRmp7Oak Wow. I really d

>>85322662
Russians hacked the aircraft.

>>85322662
too bad he was not on the plane

>>85322662
TWO OLDER BROTHERS???????????

>>85322734

This. Obviously.

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>colbert walks on stage
>audience applauds
>Heh oh, yeah, sure, yeah hehe.. uh..
>audience quiets down
>So uh, heh, uh... so, yeah...
>puts hands in pockets
>Hmmm, uhh..
>paces towards camera
>Yeah... so... umm...
>a slight growing hum can be heard from the crowd
>... Donald.......
>the audience collectively prepares themselves with such force that it sucks all air out of the room, producing an environment similar to the vacuum of space
>colbert licks his lips slowly, the saliva immediately boiling due to the difference in pressure
>a few people begin to experience dangerous side effects, some go unconscious
>colbert, unphased, closes his eyes in dismay as he prepares to speak once again
>... Trump.
>the audience's collective groaning sigh causes the room to rumble and the building's foundations to sway
>dust drops from the ceiling as the rumbling continues, light fixtures drop to the floor and shatter
>the shards of glass shoot out towards the crowd, killing several people instantly and leaving some with gaping wounds
>a large glass of water on a stand drops to the floor near a broken light, extending the current
>one of the stage crew accidentally slips and lands in the puddle, taking several thousand volts into his body and frying his brain
>the rumbling ceases immediately
>colbert smirks
>I mean, really?
>the audience laughs as the dead crewman's body catches on fire in the background

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>Colbert walks on stage
>Sooo...
>There's a gasp from the audience
>Jarble...
>All white women immediately give birth to multiracial children without becoming pregnant
>NRUMPT!!!
>A small Caucasian child seated in the third row of the audience ceases to exist
>Most white men in the audience undergo a chemical skin darkening process
>Colbert pulls a .357 Magnum from his pocket and shoots the remaining white men in the audience in the head
>The multiracial crowd are on the floor at this point in hysterics
>The sound waves from the laughter in the room shatter Colberts glasses, he removes them from his face
>An MPAA member runs towards the camera in an attempt to cut the live feed to the televised audience due to the violence of the situation
>Colbert shoots him in the head before he reaches the camera because he is a straight white male
>As he sees his reflection in the camera, the smile on Colberts face slowly fades and he stares blankly into the camera, he peers down to see that he ejacualted his pants too
>The sound of laughter slowly fades out and Colbert opens his mouth
>Don't forget Nrumpt, I'm coming for EVERY white male
>Every. Single. One.
>He smirks one last time
>The only thing my mouth is good for is for being a holster for...
>He loads the .357 Magnum and sticks the barrell in his mouth
>In a muffled voice he says "thhhhss gnnnnn" as he pulls the trigger
>The nuclear alerts immediately disappear worldwide
>A new age of prosperity where members of all races and faiths share their possessions comes into being
>Jimmy Kimmels son lives to be 150 years old and finds the cure to every disease known to man
>Obamacare is enshrined into the US constitution

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HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

>>85322662
With no survivors?

>>85322734
You are a cuckold.

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>colbert walks on stage
>audience on the edge of their seat, some begin preemptively passing out from excitement
>colbert smirks
>so....Trump this week, I mean...really?
>at once - a cacophony of shrieks and laughter of immeasurable magnitude erupts from the crowd
>colbert chuckles to himself and then points at the camera
>i mean c'mon people - im looking at you, white males
>all the women in the audience immediately begin twerking on the one black guy in the bleachers until the vibrations begin superheating his body to neutron star level temperatures
>the camera zooms in on colberts face
>seriously, do you not realize what year it is?
>the tidal forces resulting from the combination of applause, laughter, and tribal dancing starts to alter the very fabric of time itself
>colberts face begins to bend and contort until it loses any resemblance to its original figure
>the universe as we know it rips and vanishes into sheer darkness, leaving only one cardboard sign from the audience floating indefinitely within the endless abyss
>"it was her turn"

>>85322662
HAYAI

>>85322872
only good post in this thread

He also loves Neutral Milk Hotel and Holland 1945 is his favorite song because of this verse:

>And here's where your mother sleeps
>And here is the room where your brothers were born
>Indentions in the sheets
>Where their bodies once moved but don't move anymore

Yeah, I remember they talked about it on some interview or commentary about Strangers with Candy.

There was an episode about Jerry's father dying. And Mr. Noblet (Stephen Colbert) is going on about his dad will never die.

I think Stephen's mother was upset about the episode since his family suffered a pretty harsh tragedy.

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>"So..."
>audience sits nervously
>"Donald Trump..."
>short period of absolute dead silence
>AND REMEMBER LÛT, WHEN HE SAID TO HIS PEOPLE: "COMMIT YE THE WORST SIN SUCH AS NONE PRECEDING YOU HAS COMMITTED IN THE 'ÂLAMÎN?
>VERILY, YE PRACTISE YOUR LUSTS ON MEN INSTEAD OF WOMEN. NAY, BUT YE ARE A PEOPLE TRANSGRESSING BEYOND BOUNDS."
>AND THE ANSWER OF HIS PEOPLE WAS ONLY THAT THEY SAID, "DRIVE THEM OUT OF YOUR TOWN, THESE ARE INDEED MEN WHO WANT TO BE PURE OF SINS!"
>THEN ALLAH SAVED HIM AND HIS FAMILY, EXCEPT HIS WIFE; SHE WAS OF THOSE WHO REMAINED BEHIND.
>AND ALLAH RAINED DOWN UPON THEM A RAIN OF BRIMSTONE. THEN SEE WHAT WAS THE END OF THE MUJRIMÎN.
>...
>A minute passes. Cut to entire studio audience, all now fallen down dead from exsanguination of no apparent cause. All homosexuals in the North American continent likewise mysteriously bleed to death simultaneously. Remaining survivors convert to Islam.
>...
>He suddenly flicks his head back and smiles.
>"Stay right there ladies and gentlemen! Coming up is Brad Pitt and Miley Cyrus! Stick around!"

>>85322662

Doesn't excuse him being a chomo and an eater of human flesh.

>>85322799
classic, I also like the one where Colbert is a giant head floating around in NYC and gets sucked into a vortex caused by clapping

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TWO SCOOPS DRONALD?!

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>>85322950

>Comedian makes fun of Trump
>man-children cry about it for a year
You guys seriously are the biggest fucking babies. SJW didn't even come close. You may as well just have your dicks chopped off like Caitlyn, what a bunch of sissies.

>>85322963

Jutting your head forward hides your double chin and makes your jaw look more defined.

t. skinny-fat vultureboy

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>>85322961
ROMALD RUMP KRUMPT LUT OGGY-BOMP

>>85322748
the edge

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>>85322985
It's just so weird how obsessed he is.

how come drumpf gets two parents

it's not fair bros

>>85323050
its not obsession its shekels the leftists tune in for anything about DRUMP

its why the front page of /r/all on reddit is always DRUMPF

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>>85322985
>makes fun of Trump
nigger please, he's a hack

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BRAMBLEBRUMP

>>85323050
Its almost as if hes a political comedian joking about the current president.

>>85323219
No it has to be a jewish conspiracy there's no other explanation.

It certainly has nothing to do with the fact that the joke literally write themselves and give themselves free publicity in the form of 1000 donnyfags spamming about them

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>>85323219
>current president
DAS KRABBLE ZRUMPT????
ARGAGIOUGIUOFGIGAAAHHHHHH

>>85322985
Oh, I'm not going to be crying about it for just a year. No, no, no. In fact, a year from now I'll still be making these threads. Two years from now I will. Maybe three. The fourth year I will be fully engaged in my professional career, clawing my way up through the ranks of entertainment, building my public profile and my fortune, becoming a public figure known and beloved by all. When I am famous, and have great works under my name and have a following, then I will wait. I will wait for the call from the producers of The Late Show. They will probably reach my agent or my manager first, but they will ask me to come on the show, to be a guest, to promote my new movie or book or whatever. And I will accept. And I will travel to New York, to the Ed Sullivan Theater in downtown Manhattan, and I will wait in the green room until the lady tells me it's time to walk in, and I will do exactly that. Then? Big applause. The band plays. Stephen eyes me from his desk with that fat, disingenuous smile on his face, staring at me from beyond any real emotion or feeling, sensations that were ripped out of him years ago by a short-lived father and the knowledge that the world is a cruel, unfeeling place. But I don't give a shit, we all have our demons. I shake his hand, give him a hug in fact, and then make my way to my seat. I start by telling him that I love the theater, because it truly is beautiful, and his set is definitively the best in all of Late Night. I tell him what a big fan I was of The Colbert Report when I was a teenager. But I am not a fan of this. I am not a fan of the way he has bastardized late night television, which should be one of the few non-political spaces in American discourse. I tell him that Johnny Carson would be sick and ashamed of him. I tell him he's a two-bit hack in a parasitic relationship with the President, that he would be a miserable failure without him. Then I walk out to heavy booing. Probably wouldn't even make it to air.

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>>85322662

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>>85323219
>>85323321
>remember all those hilariosu and constant jokes Colbert made about Obama guys?

>>85323219
>>85323321
Yeah, remember how he was equally obsessed with Obama during Obama's presidency?

>>85322662
The Trump Curse striked early that time

>>85323346
jesus dude

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>>85322662
DAT 2 SCOOPS BIGOT FASCIST

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>>85322985

>Internet makes fun of Colbert
>SJW retards cry about it for literally all of eternity

Why can Colbert and his fans supposedly dish it out, but never ever take it?
Why does the Internet calling their unfunny hack messiah unfunny ruffle their fucking feathers so much?

>>85322830
>NRUMPT!!!
Lost

>>85323365
>>85323379

He made hundreds on The Colbert Report, are you retarded? Did you forget the character he played was a pretend conservative.

>>85323365

Maybe Trump should do a better job instead of vomiting word salad and having a revolving door cabinet because no one wants to be involved in the administration that has been caught blatantly lying several times. Most recently because his retarded son released all of his emails detailing how he and several other people having been lying for the past few months

inb4 cuck/hillary memes for deflection

>>85323484
cuck

>>85323465
So... what you're saying is that Colbert is pretending to be a retarded liberal obsessed with Trump? Genius

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>TWO OLDER BROTHERS

THOSE COCKHOLSTERING TWO SCOOPING RUSSIAN FAGGOTS WERE THEIR OWN DEEPTHROAT AND HAD IT COMING

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GOTDAM ME HAT DATZ GOTDAM FRUGGLE MUMP &*%*&%*&%*)&$%)(*&_*(^

>http://nypost.com/2014/08/24/why-comedians-and-snl-are-shielding-president-obama/

>At last, we know the reason why comedy writers don’t make fun of President Obama.

It turns out the man is completely unmockable.

We learn this from Jim Downey, the longtime “Saturday Night Live” specialist in political japery. “If I had to describe Obama as a comedy project, I would say, ‘Degree of difficulty, 10 point 10,’” the writer says in the expanded new edition of the “SNL” oral history book, “Live from New York.”

“It’s like being a rock climber looking up at a thousand-foot-high face of solid obsidian, polished and oiled,” Downey says. “There’s not a single thing to grab onto — certainly not a flaw that you can caricature.

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>>85323484
TL:DR

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>>85322662

>>85322662
One scoop for each dead brother

>>85322933
You got any evidence?

>>85323496
>spend 8 years pretending to be a conservative to highlight the parties hypocrisy and idiocy
>get new show, and a new president for 8 years
>begin to highlight the lefts hypocrisy and idiocy

wtf I love colbert now?

Do you people feel like pieces of shit mongoloids? You just kinda seem that way, in the press. Like human fucking garbage that's hanging on before it eventually dies and rots. Sorry.

>>85323484
>guy known for saying "You're fired!" fires people.
What a shock. That's how you run a business, you fire employees who aren't up to the task.

>>85322662
Jesus. I don't like him, but I can empathize.

>>85323515
To be fair, Obama was such a boring president the only things you could use for comedy were his race, which became taboo once he actually won. Comedy Central quietly cancelled Chocolate News just because Obama won and they had a ghetto Obama parody character.

Outside of that you could only really make fun of his mom jeans or how he talked with his hands too much like an autist.

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>>85323430
>>Internet makes fun of Colbert
>>SJW retards cry about it for literally all of eternity

>>85323564

That's how children think you run a business. You're some form of adult or adolescent child.

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>>85323379
Obama
>internationally approved everywhere except the middle east
>Notably charismatic
>Relateable family
>Started poor and worked his way up

Trump
>A literal walking meme hated by everyone except his party
>Famous for word salad, being an asshole to celebrities on twitter (I don't care if you like that 90% of people don't and it's dumb idea when you're trying to be a diplomat) and lying
>Family thrives solely on nepotism and equally hated
>Small loan of todays equivalent of 75 million dollars and inherited fathers business relations


WOW WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE LIKE TRUMP LESS AND MAKE FUN OF HIM

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>>85323612
>free stuff and no accountability for anyone!
tattoo that on your forehead
the bums lost

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>>85323515
>not a flaw that you can caricature

>>85323707

keep going, hun. You're on a drunk roll.

flonald flimpf is not my president

>>85323770

He's going to end up in prison with the rest of his family. They're all russian spies at this point. He owes hundreds of millions of dollars to russian banks, Deutsche bank and other russian backers. He's entirely fucked if he lets Meuller continue with his investigation. He's The Manchurian Candidate of our day.

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>"So... Droomphaloof fired Comey..."
>thunderous applause, back wall of studio falls out and reveals big crowd outside stretching as far as the eye can see holding signs that say "bigger than Trump's inauguration," entire audience going aboslutely nuts and no one can hear Colbert's protests over the microphone so they tap him into the emergency PA system
>"STOPF CLAPFING YOU DROLST HOLSTERS, THAT'S BAD NEWS, VLADIMEERKAT POOPIN TOLD HIM TO DO IT!!"
>boos are so loud and syncrhonized that they create a sonic boom that knocks Colbert off his feet and blows his eardrums
>next episode is him and Jimmy Kimmel demanding you pay for his healthcare

Obama literally funded ISIS but Trump is the bad guy because he makes money from Russian jews?

>>85323858
Trump also literally funded ISIS you idiot

You fucking idiots know that Jeff Sessions was just revealed to have been talking with russian spies to remove the sanctions against the russian government before he became Attorney General of the United States, right? A piece of shit Alabamian fuck up racist piece of shit became your AG. Who is now found out to be a Russian spy.

>>85323887
For what, 6 months? Versus 8 years?

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>>85323825
>krumpf is impeached and jailed
>congress calls a special vote
>hillary rodham clinton takes her rightful place as madame president

cant wait. it's her fucikng turn

Your entire country is being taken over by Russia and you morons are to dull to know it. You idiots don't know what's happening around you. You just eat drink and shit. You deserve this so much.

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>>85323903
>Jeff Sessions was just revealed to have been talking with russian spies
oy vey

>>85323920
lol

>>85323932

You know Clinton is retired from politics, right, you fucking idiot. It's Pence, Ryan, Hatch, Steven Mnuchin, Mattis, Sessions.

You people are too stupid to live. Please stop participating in life.

>>85324009
they will all be jailed. she'll come back to reclaim what is hers

>>85323971
If CNN is run by kikes then why aren't they sucking Trump's dick 24/7? He's a kike thrall that loves Israel.

You people don't know enough to be valid people. Have you ever wondered that? You should end up being house pets for someone who isn't a fucking idiot.

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>>85323887
>Trump also literally funded ISIS
stop watching colbert and msm, zombies

>>85324055
cause both presidents love israel you retard

cnn just wants clickbait, which is DRUMPF

Hilary, Trump, Obama, Bush, theyre all good goys for Israel, makes no difference, the only difference is the amount of clicks and shekels each brings CNN

>>85324032

She's on an estate walking and making speeches for money. She wouldn't piss on you fucking morons if you were on fire. I think she gets around 600k per speech. You miserable fuck ups are on your own. She's watching Rome burn while you mental fuck ups burn it.

>>85324055
literally every politician is pro israel. look up aipac, they fund both parties

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>>85324055
>He's a kike thrall that loves Israel
I thought he was Hitler? Have the shareblue divide and conquer talking points changed? Really boggles the noggin.

>>85324112
maybe bernie can save us with free weed and school?????

>>85324154

That human monkey didn't even know where he was. He said he just got back from the "middle east" then failed to shake bibi's hand. He's a tard trying to be precidenscint. You Americans are so fucked for decades. At least someone came along and taught you that "rolling coal" made you look like retards to every other person on the planet including your own.

>>85324107
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/trump-administration-under-fire-failing-appoint-anti-semitism-envoy-n777276

Trump is the first time they left the jewish envoy job blank in decades though for some reason.

Hmm.....

>>85323664
>hated by everybody but his party
Hate to break this to you but everyone who isn't in Obama's party hated him too. That's just how it is. You're a child if you don't realize that.

>>85324154
Maybe the left wing nutjobs thought that but I always knew he was kikeloving trash. I warned you niggers a thousand times before the election too and the cheetoheeb has done nothing but prove me right. I guess /pol/ started loving filthy fucking kikes right around the time the user base got infiltrated by preteen nonwhites from /r/the_donald.

America is dead in the world. They're like the Soviet Union when they collapsed. Military power, sure, but their economic system collapsed. Now you're China's bitch. You have massive poverty and misery and no way out of it. Wallstreet is the economic hub, but remember back when the Dutch East India Trading Company was the focus of trade? That was the UK. They're dead now, America is dead now.

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>>85324055
>If CNN is run by kikes then why aren't they sucking Trump's dick 24/7?
Are you seriously implying CNN is run by jews?
You answered your own question, retard.

Trump is a nationalist. The globalists are jewish. This all boils down to nationalism vs globalism. And it takes one retarded motherfucker to be in favor of globalism, but you leftists are... whatever your media masters tell you to believe. Bill was a globalist, GW was a globalist, Obama was a globalist, Hillary was a globalist etc. You zombie plebs. FOX did more to hurt Trump than anyone, why do you think that is?

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>>85324300
>I always knew he was kikeloving trash. I warned you niggers a thousand times
ooo he said nigger, must not be a shill

I forgot you're all racist underclass idiots that haven't spent a day in college. You're all human garbage, right? Utterly human garbage?

There's a show on Netflix about you rural suffering idiots called Ozark. It's about a money launderer that goes out and addresses garbage like you and buys your shit.

>>85324072
>>85323887
holy fuck the left is brainwashed

>>85324452

Thanks Cletus, watch Ozark to connect with your kind. Don't you people ever feel ashamed?

Ok but how can you not love this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-Bimmnby48

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>>85324404

You all realize you're fat, gimpy people that won't reproduce, right? You're not going to exist in a generation.

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>>85323825
>They're all russian spies
In all seriousness, I hope the left keeps pushing this narrative for the next 8 years. Nothing has done more to redpill normies about the MSM/the left.

>>85324580

You fucking gimps ignore all of the lawyers being in contact with latent russian spies. It's great. You idiots can innoculate yourselfs in denial all you want. The Courts will eventually turn you into the fucked up nazi like brainwashed militia. Look to your future you fucking drone.

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>>85323932
>>krumpf is impeached and jailed
>>congress calls a special vote
>>hillary rodham clinton takes her rightful place as madame president
>cant wait. it's her fucikng turn

What level of virtue signaling are you on my dude? You're a baby. Watch this.

>>85324530
>>85324444
>>85324410
why are you talking to yourself weirdo

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>mfw libfags still this mad that Daddy won the election

>>85324580

Sessions, Manafort, Page, Don Jr. The entire Trump organization is Russian. It's endgame, and you idiots are still hanging on. Did one of you fucking idiots watch what happened with Enron?

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>>85324630
>The Courts will eventually turn you into the fucked up nazi like brainwashed militia.
What did he mean by this?

>>85324695

I mean they're going to prison, you dull fuck up.

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>>85324692
feels good man

>>85322662
>GRUMPFS still mad at based colbert
LMAO

>>85324692
>daddy
get a load of this fagget

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No wonder he's such a bitch. He was raised by a single mother.

>>85322662
Is this why he's such an insufferable cunt?

>>85324695

I know you're just some random asshole, but you know that two of his lawyers quit, and sean spicer quit when meuller went after his tax returns, right? They know that Trump will force them to commit crimes, for Spicer to commit crimes. So they all bolted. Any of you assholes read the news?

>>85322662
FUCK DRUMPF

>>85324692

Go such a dick, Milo.

>>85324829
>quit because otherwise theyd be forced to commit crimes

that makes sense, i forgot they cant say "no" to things

PEE PEE TAPE

You poverty cases need to start paying attention to politics much younger than normal.

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>>85324630
>The Courts will eventually turn you into the fucked up nazi like brainwashed militia.

>>85324881

You understand what fired/resigned is, right?

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>>85324829
>lawyers quit, and sean spicer quit

Oh noes!

>>85324900

I loved you on Chuck!

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Drmpf is finished for sure this time Drumptards. The Courts will eventually turn you into the fucked up nazi like brainwashed militia.

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>>85322748
Best post ITT

>>85322662
>two children "died"
>he survived
>grows up to be a political mouthpiece for the pedophile elite
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE KIDS

>>85324921
thats what happens when you dont quit

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>>85325007
>pedophile elite

>>85323118
I get slightly butthurt that him and john oliver keep taking a spot on the trending youtube videos every single day about the same tired shit

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The Courts will eventually turn you into the fucked up nazi like brainwashed militia.

>>85323346
Sad

>>85322901
Stop samefagging, you're not funny.

>>85322734
Kek

>>85322662
well, boohoo. we all die eventually.