OH SHIT! Theres now a Xenomorph in your living room and all

>>85213368
Get dubs.

AM I BEING DETAINED?!

AM I BEING DETAINED?!

AM I BEING DETAINED?!

AM I BEING DETAINED?!

360

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>>85213388

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>>85213388

>>85213388
Oh boy...

>>85213368
Keep my cat between us. Xenos fucking hate cats.

Gonna die one way or another, so may as well take my dick out and see what happens

My home is just a one room apartment on the 3rd floor, so I go ahead and try to rip off the mouth-tongue thing.

walk straight towards it and place my head in front of its mouth

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>>85213488
>yfw it cuts your dick off and then leaves peacefully

>living room is upstairs
>bedroom is in the basement
>basement has an old exit that leads outside and has no lock
Check mate faggot

>undress
>rub until i'm fully hard and leaking precum
>try to fuck alien

>>85213531
This.
I let him spare me the hassle of killing myself

>>85213368
Breathe on its nostrils

>>85213368
start jerking off

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>>85213388

Serve it some coffee and ask it trivia

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play some mario kart with my new alien bro

CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM

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>>85213388

>>85213388
Get quads.

Are there really people here who don't have loaded guns in every room of the house?

I own a lot of guns. I keep a shotgun loaded wtih 15 rounds of 00 buck, an AR15 with 0 rounds of m855, a makarov with 9 rounds, a hi power with 16 rounds, a glock 19 with 16 rounds, a glock 43 with 7 rounds, a cz52 with 9 rounds of steel core high velocity ammo, a sks with 10 rounds, a k98k with 5 rounds, a mosin nagant with 5 rounds, a garand with 8 rounds, and an ak74 with 30 rounds of 7n6.

that alien is fucking dead

Train so hard my hair falls off then punch it

Ask for nudes

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>>85215557

>calls for quads
>gets trips

>>85213368
Why the fuck would I need my keys to get out of my house? I'd flip the lock and leave.

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>>85215679
>counting those as trips when the last post number is out of sequence
Go back to wherever you came from

>>85213368
Call a studio executive. They're savants at killing anything Alien-related.

>>85213368

Arm myself with a deodorant and a lighter.

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die

>>85215679
>gets trips
No he didn't. Shit only counts if they're the last digits. Lurk more newfag.

>>85215591
So is your social life I guess

>>85215809
marriage and children killed that a long tie ago.

>>85213368
Yell "DONALD TRUMP WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT YOU BASTARD?!"

Watch all the Mexicans kick in door and come flooding in with all sorts of weapons

Let Mexicans get eaten, and take off.

I live in Texas.

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>>85213368
Didn't David say some shit that if you breath in their face they'll be your friend for life?

>>85215679
how fucking new are you?

>Stand your ground
>Stare it down
>Keep your level of fear to an absolute minimum

I think it was established in one of the comics that xenos are drawn to fear and will hesitate to attack an opponent that doesn't seem to be afraid of it.

>>85216095
>I think it was established in one of the comics

good luck with that shit

>>85213388
dubs huh.......

Seduce it.

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>walk right up to it
>look it in the eye
>tell it I want a job

>>85213388
FPBP
Also, check em'

>>85213388
*DAB*

>>85213368

I kill it. I am a MAN! Not some numale shit or a girl. A MAN! Fuck that Xeno.

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>>85216302

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>>85213388

>>85215679
Did he ded?

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>>85216417

>>85216188
Checked

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>>85216877

>come back to the escape pod, anon~

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>>85216908

>>85213368
I actually might be able to live if I hide under my desk. My server and honeywell HEPA filter fan is there. The server noise and filter might hide my scent and breathing.

>>85213368
>find an egg,
>remove facehugger
>force my dick down it's tentacle vag
>let it impregnate my dick while i fuck it
>when it falls off ejaculate a dickburster
>when molts into a xenodickmorph
>have it rape the xenomorph to death
>become xenodickmorphs lover and marry it.

>>85213388
Hitler approved.

>>85213531
Yeah, head butt it. That way even if it does some weird egg laying shit, you'll be brain dead.

>>85215726
Cheeky.

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>>85213388
shaqed

>>85215591
>keeping a weapon loaded instead of jist having a clip nearby
>also claims to have kids

Enjoy your dead kids.

What is the most powerful hybrid of xeno? What is its "natural" form? What am I up against? If it's like the doge alien, yeah I'll kick it to death in a pair of snake boots. The predalien? Fuck me

>>85213388
check these five

>>85217512
xenomorphs don't hatch from eggs...

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>>85213368
dude all my shit unlocks from the inside tho

>>85213388
hot shit

>>85213388
Let's see some repeating digits

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>>85213388

>>85215922
>mexicans
>running towards someone shouting Trump
They will literally jump out of their windows to get away from you.

>>85216095
This actually works with many species of preadatory mammals.
Not bears though. Stay the fuck away from bears.

>>85213388
How can two numbers wreck a thread so handily

>>85221227
You mean like these?

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>>85213388

>>85221345
So close, no matter how far

I get on all fours and desperately present my ass, hoping both to finally experience my fetish as well as introducing the xenomorphs to a more practical form of reproduction

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creampie it.

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>>85217512

>>85213388

ALIEN BTFO!