Crystal Maze thread & Naked Attraction pre-thread >Andea

Has everyone given up on the Maze?

>>84919338
Too many damn celeb editions. Half the games being repeats hasn't helped either.

please be some cuties this time

>3 crystals
>had to buy 3 of the etards back out

worst ones yet

>>84920771
she'd be okay if it weren't for that awful haircut

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>Andrea McLean, Spencer Matthews, Tom Allen, Stacey Solomon and Joe Swash

stacey solomon kind of reminds me of that girl who's genetically unable to store fat

>>84920274
This was the last celeb one thank fuck.

just found out the host is married to sue perkins

here we fucking go

dat plastic face!

Fucking ugly skank degenerates

everyone's got fucking cancer these days

>>84921030
daily mail pls

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BBC BBC BBC

What type of cancer did she have?

I really hope she doesn't have gnarly mastectomy scars

quite pleased i always have a bigger willy than the people on here

her face is quite ugly but id still crawl naked through 100 miles of broken glass to give her a kiss

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ew

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>wheelchair

WHEELCHAIR

>cock round first
zzz

Here's what will happen:

>wheelchair will go second or third
>black guy will make it to the end

half the people are actors or drama students paid up and after thier 5mins of fame, usual tv bullshit

>>84921138
who knew?

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>>84921153
dat yellow power stance

HUMILIATION

>>84921138
Why go on the internet and tell lies?

>Shall we find out who owns that foreskin

>GTFO BABY COCKED FAGGOT

lol

i dont understand brit bong, someone please give me a quick run down on this Naked Attraction and how I find some noods of the qt females (if there is any???)

>they have all got nice bodies

whats that around greens neck? voice box?

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UNCUT FAGS BTFO

>>84921225
dumb cunt

>>84921225
Once there's only two left, she gets naked

gee, I wonder who's gonna win

that tattoo is actually pretty badass i have to say

I'm sure that's very scientific

>>84921236
It was obviously because he was a dicklet

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>>84921254
hmm who could it be

>acting like she might actually pick green

so disingenuous

Everyone in this thread is now checking their hands

do any of the men on this show ever have anything better than a bar tender job

>>84921312
my ring finger is bigger than my index on both hands so i got excited but then realised i only have an average willy

>>84921312
>tfw small ring finger and dick

>>84921303
inb4 plot twist and she dumps him for the cripple

i have bigger ring finger and a 6inch willy that looks tiny when flacid

>>84921303
how do we know he hasn't got a semi?

>>84921330
Same here, and I clearly lack testosterone.

>tfw index longer than ring finger

my dicks 6 inches though...

>>84921303
awful tat

>>84921321
office manager

>>84921041
Is that an ayy lmao in the purple?

>>84921397
the office manager is going to get destroyed when he goes into work tomorrow

everyone will be photocopying pictures of his tiny knob

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>>84921321
ceo

yellow then green or the other way around

>>84921442
of an autism awareness charity?

black guy is smug as fuck

he knows he's won

Lmao what is this fucking psuedo science

Wheelchair the most attractive of the lot

Shame he's gonna die when he's 40

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what the fuck

yellow in the closet

>>84921483
i think its true because chiseled jaw is more attractive and every man wants casual sex

>>84921507
FULLY FUNCTIONAL

What the fuck is going on here

>>84921511
he's handsome

>>84921558
sorry i ment orange, but i take it back he was pretty chill

She's going to get rid of yellow next

Think green is bothered by the pity?

Yellow can't be fucked with this bollocks.

it was obviously the face
she clearly didnt think he had a foot long face and was 6'

yellows got to get back to his job as ben fogles stunt stand in

>>84921303
Majima kun?!

>>84921609
looks nothing like him, shit joke

>a cripple and a nigger

State of Scottish women

wew them bums

>>84921627
the nigger won in round one

now she is just being nice

This show is bizarre

>>84921640
>>84921627
don't forget this is channel 4, they love spackers

TIME FOR TITTIES

Maybe she's surprise us and go out with the spaz

cripple is fucking cute and he isn't going to always be in a wheelchair he's just using it at the moment.

>>84921662
There'll be no tiddies, cancer,

the host is absolutely gagging for the BBC

How much more Jewish can this show get?

I'm gonna predict the next one is a white man dating a paki

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tough choice

>>84921684
>you

good lord

very nice girl

"He's a very handsome guy, and we'll say nothing more".

That's a cracking body to be fair

she might pick green on his good character, there is hope lads!

>>84921684
I was wrong

>>84921703
creasing

like those recent chad vs virgin comics

>>84921717
Nigger is reading my posts!

LITTLE WHITE BOYS BTFO

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>>84920771
Holy shit that episode.
>I like feminism
>I'm pansexual
>Two trannies in the lineup
>"She has a nice penis"

>>84921703

Holy shit, this is like MDE World Peace

>handsome cripple
>tall tattooed huge-dicked black man

Well that was surprising

>>84921743
screaming

>show cripple stood up at the end

looked great.

what a surprise

Is this wat actually passes for entertainment in Bongistan?

And I thought Japan was bad.

>>84921781
This is educational tv

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why doesnt he tuck that thing in

>>84921803
don't think it's like a pair of headphones mate

>>84921781
in japan theyd have a shitting and puke round

ahhh was about to say she had nice tits but
>fake
pity

he hit it and quit it

oh that's perfect

Should have gone with the nice spacker bitch

the nigga had a chiseled face, and then the segment mentioned chiseled men have more casual sex and cheat.

splash and dash the gash.

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oh

haha this episode has had every cliche

>token nigger with massive penis winning
>guy in wheelchair
>smallest dicks all voted off
>chad wins and then fucks off

should i have another pint?

>>84921860
Women don't care about guys who have casual sex and cheat as much as men do

>>84921880
yes, next contestant is a gay guy

cocks everywhere

>>84921892
what? i thought it was fannies next

can someone please be kind and point me in the direction of where I can see female lewds from this show?

Also, why the fuck are the dudes dongers uncensored but the women's boobs are? Is Britain really this homosexual (male).

What's the deal with this lighting making their bodies look as weird as possible

>>84921892
Time for me to hate my own kind again

That's always fun

not gay but the women/bender picking men episodes are better because they're funnier

>>84921937
tad gay

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>guy picks the nosering girl and fuck and chucks her
>the girl he rejected adds him on social media and he pokes her too
lad

>>84921921
The tits aren't censored though, nothing is

what a dick

>>84921921
the boobs aren't censored

>>84921921
boobs and fannies are both uncensored as well dont know what youre on about

the girls are going to be hot for this turbo chad

I've always liked the name Fanny for a girl.

>female boss put him forward for the show
>will fire him if he doesn't go through with it

That sounds illegal

>>84921892
you lied to me mate

just opened my can too

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>>84921921
the anon earlier probably censored the boobs earlier because this board is sfw

>>84922029
worth it

>>84921892
yes please

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he's gay right?

>>84922026
would be awesome if the female boss was one of the women behind the colours

>>84922018
He's not a chad, he's a deano.

>>84922025
Almost fucked a Fanny once. Had an incredible arse (in that it was really quite large considering how small she is)

Can you imagine how many 13 year olds are watching this and wanking furiously to it

orange is best

>>84922034
evil

why are vagina fucking rank, i'm sure they feel good but they look disgusting.

>No roasties

Disappointing

>house every weekend tattoo

NO ROASTIES

>no fat chicks

good lad

>>84922031
thought they were natural desu
not a bad job

>>84922062
all deanos are chads but not all chads are deanos

i agree though

rip green

Her with the wolf tattoo has a pussy exactly like my gfs

>>84922084
Gay?

>all of them have tattoos

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orange and blue are the best
the rest are fatties

>>84922072
>>84922136
normies reeeeeeeeeeeee

>>84922031
>pierced nipples

truly disgusting

>>84922144
State of young women today

>>84922143
of course. I find girls cute, and boobs are fun, but nah no vagoo for me

this does not mean I like trannies, fuck that shit.

awwwww, look at her waddling over to them

adorable little chubster

FATTY BTFO

Orange best girl desu

Yeah, good choice there lad. Into the trash you go

PORKERS BTFO

she was really cute ;___;

>just wanna enter
howling

Pink desu

>>84922144
I was about to say, does everybody have them these days or what?

Then again, considering the kind of person who would sign up for this show, I guess it makes sense.

>>84922149
Orange wins the fanny off

>>84922149
what is this a screencap for ants, c'mon.

Can someone please help him out and post some HD shit or has """The Empire""" not yet reached those standards yet

oh dear

red and orange just went from best to worst

disappointing

>bit of a flick, little lick

Why are there next to no lesbians on Naked Attraction? It's like the producers almost don't want me to fap to their show

>5'8
MANLET

>>84922227
their was a (((pansexual))) girl on the first episode which is pretty much the same

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>not waiting til round 2 to knock the fatty out and use an excuse like "i prefer taller girls" so you don't look like an arsehole
entry level mistake

>5'8"

When will they learn?

I reckon blue is going to be a strong choice here, even with the shit tier tattoos

>two sets of veiny boobs
noice

>>84922227
There will be, they hit every criteria.

I just wish they didn't last week with the transgendered people or retarded.

>>84922256
she shot up on the boob round

Blue and pink now

>>84922256
>>84922273
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

WHAT THE FUCK BRO

SHES SO DAMN CUTE TOO

YOU FUCKED UP JACKY BOY

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>>84922214
sorry anon im doing it on a shitty stream and im not making a 4od account for this

>>84922273
>not orange
shite taste

This guy is such a dickhead.

To be fair, the most attractive woman I've ever met is 6ft. Literally had the whole package

I'm like a minute behind you guys ffs

>>84922256

Told you. He has mugged himself RIGHT OFF here.

>>84922304
that rose tattoo looks way to close to the labour party logo

>>84922310
>Literally had the whole package
bit gay

YOU'VE FUCKED IT MATE
FUCKED IT RIGHT UP

Why the fuck did he keep the orange one. She has no tits and the body of a potato

what's up with all the shitty tattoos?

blue had the worst minge you virgins

Every episode a decent lower half is ruined by either shit tattoos or disappointing tits.

Like that one who turned around just before and had some dumb ink about three inches away from her rectum.

>>84922329
>not fucking tall women (male) with incredible tits, beautiful face and demure demeanour

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>kicking off the cutest contestant on the show

>>84922304
>more pierced nipples and degenerate tattoos

do they only choose roasties for contestants?

>>84921303
Wtf he looks like the whitest nigger ever, did he tat-shade his cock & hands?

>>84922345
so what, it's bald and neat. That's enough

Red and orange have hideous tits

>not liking tall women
what a fag

>tattoos everywhere
lads I'm convening a round table discussion in this thread to discuss this scourge of modern society.

if you care about how a fanny looks you're a guaranteed 'gin

the only thing to make one unattractive is a foul smell or excessive hair

So what's the idea behind this show? I get that it's about one person choosing between a bunch of nude ones, but what then?

>>84922304


post more often please i feel like i'm missing out on more than i should

>>84922365
They said it's according to his preferences, so I guess he likes that

>advertising tampax during Naked Attraction

as if any women are watching this

>>84922356
Tattoos ruin her to be honest, and her boobs aren't very good

why are they all shaved? i like bush desu

>>84922391
convene this

*sticks bare arse in the air and rips a huge, stinky fart*

>>84922383
he is a manlet so its understandable

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>>84922383
it'd look like she was his mum

>>84922392

This desu, if the hottest bird in the world had big flapping roasties, you're still gonna bone her given the chance.

>is love racist

Never change, channel 4

oh cool the redpilled version of this

Channel 4 is the most degenerate channel in existence

>>84922391
They could at least not get them in the most random ass places like children placing stickers on a doll.

is there every any kind of graphic close ups or angles on this show?

Also, where da butt at?

>>84922392
To deny that there is aesthetic diversity across vaginas is to be wilfully ignorant.
However they're all pink on the inside so unless you're dealing with a bottom-tier vag, then it's not so much of a deal.

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>>84919087
Why are you guys watching this shit?

>dat mug

oooh, unlucky yellow

>is love racist

wow orange is cute

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>>84922365
only girls with tats are degenerate enough to go on

>>84922430
I wish I could be a manlet so there were women taller than me
>tfw 6'2

>>84922399

They go out on a cheap date in Manchester and never see each other again. It's a low brow excuse for channel 4 to show some tits and fannies under the guise of it being a dating show.

yellow is a man lol

>Is Love Racist
Peak Channel 4
>>84922421
I'd imagine they probably did it before coming on, even if they usually wouldn't have done so

i think the fattie was the best to be honest

>ugly as fuck

"yeah nah, i just don't like blondes innit"

good excuse

purple a qt

>That black guy fucked her and never called her again.

They never learn

>>84922458
>Channel 4 is the most degenerate channel in existence

It's been that way for about 25 years (ever since Eurotrash)

Shame red has terrible implants, she's hot

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Which one of these cute girls would you pick?

and she was a scouser

fucking dodged a bullet there

>This isn't Davina McCall presenting
what the fuck,

>>84922561
She's 50 bro, can't be presenting this degenerate shit anymore

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>>84922530
cute

I'm pretty certain she had a cock up until fairly recently

holy fuck orange a qt

Oranage looks like Triss.

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>>84922530
best grill

Pink's off next

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>>84922539
NOTHING wrong with Eurotrash buddy

>>84922547
>""girls""

red looks like an ex page 3 model trying to claw her way back into media

if he doesnt go orange hes an absoulute mongo

>best body
>best face

you cannot refute this

Why would you willingly go on this show?

>Big up the Potteries

Stupid cunt

pink is the best

Orange definitely wins, the prettiest always wins.

>I've had a baby

Ya blew it

>>84922577
>>84922590
stop picking the girl i like

>>84922608
To advance your modelling / porn career

TINY HANDS MANLET

hes a right mong if he dosent end up with orange

It's a shame really this fat lad who dieted is so fucking superficial and is just trying to punch as high as possible.

Fiver reckons when he comes out starkers he'll look fucking rats.

>>84922530
Orange, no question.

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>>84922621
it's okay anon, you can go for red instead

>none of them proud of their tattoos
Makes ya think

Red's face on orange's body would be the dream

threesome incoming

It's a shame orange's tits are reading about twenty past seven.

>come on tv and get naked with your best mate while some manlet judges you

I understand people like this

>>84922624
Very short careers I imagine.

SMALL

gotta be the Northwich and Stoke girls

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the state of reds boobs

>walk on stage
>orange starts laughing at his baby cock

MY SIDES HAVE ENTERED ORBIT

>Dicklet

Inb4 no second date

>>84922688
They were probably hoping for a better dude

>>84922702
danglin' dingus.

>>84922707
Post-pregnancy boobies

I swear this show makes me unattracted to people

>>84922652
orange is the cutest by far sweaty x

TINY
WHITE
DICKS

Does he even lift?

WHAT A POOR CHOICE

fuck is that really a small cock?

mine is exactly the same

>Massively insecure about weight

Actually it's because he's got a small dick

HE PICKED RED

EVEN THE HOST WAS SURPRISED

Shouldn't have laughed at his tiny cock

>>84922726
There's a reason why you have sex with the lights off

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SMC

what a total mong

>>84922745

It was tactical, Becca's face said it all, he knew she wouldn't be interested.

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>>84922753
>you have sex

Should've picked Canadian desu

That looks suspiciously similar to my penis. What game are you playing Channel 4

Picked the uggo just because she was shorter.

>>84922707

Orange is the sort of bird you'd be well chuffed to pull in a club, then once you get her back to yours and get her stripped off be like 'oh, is that it.'

I'm sure you've all experienced this eh lads?

His face is longer than his dick

He said at the start he liked little tits because of his little hands

Then he picked the one with the giant saggy pregnancy chebs

Madness

>>84922794

See
>>84922765

>>84922794
He was lying. Nobody likes little tits

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>>84922782
yeah anon i know that feel don't we all

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>>84922782
haha yeah

>Do you have your own home

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I LIVE AT HOME

>i lift btw
>haha i love going to the gym
>love staying fit btw
>DYEL manlet small dick
cmon bruh

>>84922794

Her tits look weird but I would still chose her because tits

>>84922707
>he doesn't like low hanging fruit

At least her legs are the same length

>>84922782

Yup, and then we moved in together

Pub snogging. Classy.

this guy is definitely quite insecure

Is he part wog or something, he looks like a lidl version of Ross Barkley

Neat!

>>84922869

>Quite

I bet he's terrible in bed too

>>84922875
kek

>>84920949
>This was the last celeb one thank fuck.

Everyone get the fuck back here for Crystal Maze non-celeb version next week

>>84922829
Kek

What we watching now boys?

>>84922869
Going to go out on a limb here and say that most men who predicate a large part of their existence on being /fit/ are as well. Not that being /fit/ necessarily means being insecure, but when it's for its own sake, then you get problems.

>is that alright?

>>84922906
this week in 45 minutes
>tfw no QT

>>84922906
gonna have a wank and then watch this week

EVIL WHITE MEN STOPPED ME PLAYING FOOTBALL

>>84922906
When's The Cube back on?

>>84922869
manlet mentality

>>84922906
the end of lost command on movies 4 men.

>>84922869
Clearly his aim on the show was to punch as high as possible. He ruthlessly picked off the fatties and manfaces instead of giving them a mercy flush like the previous girl did with Professor X.

He would've punched really high if orange hadn't burst out laughing at his little white willy.

>>84922906
Naked attraction on C4+1

>>84922707
I would unironically go fucking ham on her tits

>>84922906
skipping through all the previous episodes of Naked Attraction since I haven't seen any of them.

>>84922998
i think he got the hottest girl that wouldn't have left him after one date to be honest

>>84922998
Orange obviously agreed to get her friend laid because her kid needs a new daddy

I ended up watching a bit of Go 8-Bit today and I know I'm late to the party but fuck me that was some boring shit.

Also what is it with every show having a female Richard Osman spouting dumb facts these days?

>>84922707
female nipples are so much fun. You never quite know what you're going to get and I never quite know what I'm going to be in the mood for. Endless entertainment

imagine if your mum pulled a guy that lives with his parents on naked attraction

would definitely leave with me lots of mental scar

>>84923068
Yeah, I imagine red is in dire need of a man who will stay around past the sentence "I have a kid".

>>84923079
Fuck that show it terrible, also that Richard Osman looking bitch is incredibly fugly but somehow I still wanna cream on her face.

How to measure dick?

I'm pretty sure the average is bigger than studies suggest.

>>84923079

Yes, it's utter shit. They even had Richard Osman on an episode and he swapped places with her for a bit

>>84923022
when i was young i remember arguing that they showed the same program but a different episode on plus one channels

>this qt negress on the last episode
nice body
>>84923104
I suspect the child is probably too young to understand it. Although I wonder how/when/if it will find out in the future

>>84923151
a magnifying glass haha

>>84923151
from tip to where it meets your body as a right angle.

No pushing in, no counting the base as the end of the balls, no counting internal cock

>>84923139
I don't know if my telly's broken or it's her gigantic toothy mouth but it just seems like her mouth movements never quite sync up right with the words coming out of it.

>>84923196
please tell me youre joking
youre meant to push in, right??

Looking at the state of her with those dreadful fake tits, and the fact the dad has already done a runner, I guarantee that kid is as black as the ace of spades.

>>84923224
>youre meant to push in, right??

no, of course not

>>84922985
wtf is this shit

>>84923239

Yes you are. If you had low body fat that's where your dick would start.

>>84923224
The proper way to measure penis length and girth:
>Measure from the pelvic bone to the tip of the erect penis along the top
>Press the ruler into the groin to compensate for the layer of fat and pubic hair
>Position the ruler perpendicularly to the body (as the angle at which you measure will make a difference)

>>84923188
>20 years in the future
>Remember the '10s is on five
>Unfunny future version of Russell Howard
>"Remember that Naked Attraction where they got their kit off for dates? What was that all about!"
>yfw it's your mum

>>84923151
There's non bone pressed & bone pressed.

Nbp will ruin your life because depend in on how t you are your fat pad means possible inches lost & you self esteem destroyed.

Bp means you literally press into fat & get maximum readings, people say it doesn't count but """"""""""" scientific studies"”""""""""""" do it this way.

>>84923079
I know it's bad but some reason I've watched every episode. I just like seeing which games they play. I think I might be autistic. I wish they got more people on who play games though because literally 90% of the episodes are "woman picks a mobile game" and "guy picks a game from his childhood because that was the last time he played games".

>>84922829

I live at home too. In the flat that I own and have paid off.

>>84922829
at what age does this become a thing

>>84923296
Also ruler/tape measure on top, not side or bottom.

>>84923347
21

is there a this week thread usually btw?

>>84923386

There will be on /pol/

>>84923386
on /pol/? it usually just follows on from the QT thread. so probably

>>84923414
shan't

just measured my dick, 3 1/2 inches flaccid and 6 erect. thats not small right?

>>84923493
IT's above the global average, but most women will consider it small

>>84923435

Nah, QT and This Week threads on /pol/ are decent. Better than the other drivel that is usually on there.

>>84923493
even the cucks on cuckoldsessions have bigger dicks than that anon

>>84923531
ok

if you see a guy posting with the ancom flag derailing the thread it will be me x

>>84923493
Have a butchers.

>http://www.sizemeup.info/mobile.html

>>84923493
Anything less than 7 is "tiny white" tier.

>>84923493

Not if you're 2 years old, no/

>>84922356
degenerate hilary duff

>>84923862
>get proposed to
>squee out
>post photo of ring on instagram
>suck fiance's dick on balcony
>let him spunk on your face

All happened in the space of 5 minute, the paparazzi caught it all on camera

Hilary Duff is the degenerate hilary duff

>>84923897
>fucking your fiance is degenerate

back to islam lad

>>84921364
Are u me?