>Don't crash my plane. Please. >... look, CIA... >I

>I can't imagine... Bane... going, "Oh, I've told a few people here on the plane it doesn't matter who we are, can I just take the mask off and safely land please?" No. You've put on the mask. You've got to start the fire... please. And that's very much, like...me.

>But that's life, isn't it? Ups and downs, peaks and troughs... "It would be extremely painful... for you"
>You know what ""philosopher"" said that?
>Bane
>And some people say he's just a big guy

>What's the difference?
>A Big Guy is someone who has disproportionately big arms and legs.
>Oh, I know the ones. *mimics a Big Guy crashing a a plane*
>Yeah, it's caused by putting the mask on.
>Bloody masks, yeah.
>A CIA is still a Big Guy, but their thumbs are hooked into their belt loops.
>So, what's a hothead?
>Do you wanna answer that?
>A hothead is an superautistic being. Sometimes they're redditors, they're like /b/tards.

>>84914769
>.....
>.....
>.....
>So what's a Pavel then?

>Put: "Bane is refreshingly laid back for a big guy with such a big masterplan."

Best threads

>All I know is, I can type in... Bane... yeah? Takes a little while...
>2,230 matches. Yeah? Just click on one... at random... ahhhh...
>"Big guy must be punished for putting on the mask", now you do not punish someone, big or otherwise, for putting on the mask.
>If anything no one should care.

>>84914688
Thank you.

This is the funniest thing I've seen in the past 5mins

>I need more information on Bane.
>For example, why is he constantly in a masquerade?
>Why are his rented goons so honourable?
>What is his long-term plan?
>Are there any weaknesses tied to removing his mask?
>The CIA database is dry on this.
>I even asked Dr. Pavel, but he said nothing.

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>Oh for f-

>Bane mused

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I'm not worried for me, I'll be all right, but if there does have to be a crash, then so be it. I mean, that's just natural selection, in the wild there would be no survivors. Imagine a flight, where a little CIA fellow is calling it in. He can't see the flightplan, he's shooting men before throwing them out of a plane, cos of his little masterplan. I mean, don't get me wrong, Bill Wilson's a lovely bloke, but should he be working here?

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>You do know Dr Pavel's not really dead, don't you? Yeah it's in a book. What they did was they faked his death in a plane crash so he could work undercover for Bane and build a nuclear bomb.

Bane posting is alive and well.

>>84917235
Top lel

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>>84917235
>They said 'No small guys'
>I took my mask off.
>I'm not a small guy

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Your agency lot are little SLUGS, little slugs with no personality who are just jealous of us because we're BIGGER than them

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>>84914008
Fucking quality thread OP

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>>84917235
Yeah, because if I wanted to secretly build a nuclear bomb, I'd kidnap the world's most famous nuclear physicist

>The drinks order I just filed with the bar lists Smee - lager, Maimen - lager, Dr Pavelheer - lager, sometimes cider...

>>84917396
>20 replies
>9 posters
Yeah such a great thread.

>>84917473
>Hurr durr quantity

Go to /got/ if you want large amounts of shit

>>84917464
>Different drinks for different... needs

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>In this plane have special...
>needs?
>No, in this plane I am a special...
>needs child?
> No, and that's not even funny.

>26 posts
>10 ips
boards without unique IDs are shit

>>84917235
kek

THERE'S BEEN A PLANE CRASH UP THERE!

>>84918057
I crashed his plane. Crash. Their. Plane.

>>84918105
kek

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>>84918057
>>84918105

Smee. Maimen. BISHOP PAVELHEER

>>84914008
a daring synthesis

>>84918057
>>84918105
There is no Juan Ovyu in this flight plan. Sometimes the filing will be false.

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>If I pull that off, will your die?
>What are the options?
>It's the same, it's always the same...Of coursh, it would be extremely painful, it's doesn't matter, don't know.
>Don't know.
>OK. Was getting caught part of your plan?
>What are the options?

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>Baneo Georgini

>>84917752
>>84917473
Here's an idea, instead of moaning about the ip count, why not contribute to the thread?

>>84918105
toppest kek

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>Some "CIA"s, would have picked other stuff, you know, been more nasty...like, he's got a mask on...like Bane. I didn't mention it. No need.

ameriplebs will never understand this thread kek

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>>84914008
>>Yeah well put it out
kek

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>Everyone's got, uh...flight plans. Have you used flight plans before?
>Yeah.
>Yeah, it's easy innit. Um...I just-I'll just show her...oh, you've got a new one, look, see what it says: "New flight plan." Just read that.
>[Laughing]
>Nah. No...that's. Yeah. Not funny because Dr. Pavel should not have to bring friends with him.
>You've got nice belt loops.
>No, it's just not - it's just my stance, they just put it on there to...who else has seen this filth?

>>84914008
I genuinely hated the Swindon lot. Brent was obviously a tool but they seemed like a bunch of stuck up cunts.

>>84921479
fucking kek

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>See that film last night? Tom Hardy?
>No
>Ah, he's brilliant. He's a brilliant actor.
>He's very good. Very good.
>See you later.
>See you.
>H-he's...not my favourite actor of all time by the way.
>Oh no?
>My favourite actor of all time is Mr. Aidan Gillen.

>>84921563
Brent did nothing wrong.

>>84914008
True patrician thread that most /tv/niggers won't even notice. Thank you OP

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I crash a plane a week, so a flightplan like that won't catch me out

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>What's so good about the master plan? Bane?
>Yeah, for one.
>What, you prefer Bane to me?
>...
>Who thinks Bane is a bigger guy than me?
>[Everyone raises their hand]
>That's mental. Come off it. You...you. We're gonna have a crash with no survivors. We'll have a crash lunchtime. We'll go- ...right...

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>FOR YOU!

>>84921300
>I don't agree with that in the workplane

>>84921731
Fucking kek

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People see me, and they see the plane, and they go: "you're not fooling anyone", they know I'm Bane through and through. But you know that old thing, shoot a man, throw him out a plane? Not my way. Shoot a man, sure, shoot them too bloody much sometimes, but throw them out a plane? That's the way- not orthodox, I don't live by "the rules" you know.

And if there's one other person who's influenced me in that way I think, someone who is a maverick, someone who does that to the system, then, it's Bill Wilson. Because CIA will happily say "that's what I think of your flight plan, yes I've shot the odd hostage, yes I've called it in, but will you piss off and leave me alone, I'm flying to Gotham for some masked men"

>>84921923
Er, he's crashed a plane over Uzbekistan, what have you ever done?

When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a masked man or a big guy? My answer's always the same, to me, they're not mutually exclusive.

>>84917464
screaming

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>this is Pavel, this guy does the best Bane impersonation - FOR YOU- I can't do it, go on, do it
>I don't, must be someone else
>oh sorry it's the other one
>the other what... big guy?
>ah

>>84922419
superb.

ok, saving this thread. gonna watch Office U.K. in it's entirety and come back here.

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>...and the Banemonster
>Oh, bloody hell, what's the weather like up there?
>Ah, I've heard that one before.
>Parents put you in a grow bag when you were little did they?
>That's an old one.
>"Let's grow ourselves a big bulky masked freak of a son-"
>Alright, calm down CIA, there's no need to get offensive.
>No, no...I was just enjoying the...
>I didn't call you "Belt Loops" as soon as I saw you, did I?
>No, I was joining in with the-
>That's - do't have a go at the mask, because that is a breathing difficulty that I've had from the age of 5...so that's why no one cared who I was...so don't just...I didn't call you Plane Man or Flight Plan Man
>Yeah, but I don't go around calling myself the Mastetta Man
>Well I don't either. I call myself the Banemonster.
>I'm not gonna call you the Banemonster
>Well, that's my name-
>No it's not. What's your real name?
>...Bane.
>It's a good name.
>Is it?

>>84918057
Best yet.

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>>84922932
>I didn't call you "Belt Loops" as soon as I saw you, did I?

>>84922932
Kek

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>>84922932
I'm crying

Bane quipped 'why shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane?'

>>84916570
Underrated

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>Get out - go on
>I've opened the door for you
>if you don't want to talk go now, yeah? save us all a bit of time yeah? if you don't think you can cut it.
>No? good
>have you shot them yet
>no!

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>Alright Einstein, if you're so clever, what am I thinking about now?
>You're thinking: "How could I get them on board armed only with a flight plan?"
>No.
>Right, you're thinking: "If I crash land with no survivors, will I be able to start the fire?"
>No. And you can't.
>Right, what are you thinking?
I was just wondering - will there ever be a guy born who's bigger than Bane?

"well you got yourself caught, now what's then next step in your master plan." Do you know which ‘philosopher’ said that? Bill Wilson. And people say he's just a big guy.”

If you can keep your flight plan when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.

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>>84916345

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>Bane, just CIA to beat! Ah, I bloody love football don't I - oh sorry! Sorry! It is a man's game, that is. That is...yeah. Accidental.

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>He's taken my mask off again, that's the third time he's done it and it wasn't even funny the first time
>Why's he done that?
>because... I told him once it'd be extremely painful
>Yea, you showed him your weakness, he pounced, you should know about that.

>>84923378
>Okay, well...that's about...it, from the masked man,thanks for taking all I had to...throw at you. I'm spent. But, um...I am now gonna make like a plane...and crash. He got it. Okay, um...before I go, though, um...promise...me...you'll remember one thing, yeah? Just remember:
>[Turns on the stereo, "It Ain't Meme" begins playing]
>Yeah? Wooo! I've been Bane. You've been the best. Goodnight.

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving

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>>84918057

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>Bane? It's CIA
>Alright? I'm fighting Batman in the sewers at the moment
>Yea, just wanted to tell you I think you've a great master plan.
>Ok. [to Batman] Just a friend, telling me what a superb job I'm doing, ya'know... alright is that it?
>n-no, I like your little mask
>Y- okay, is that it?
>o-one more thing
>What
>You should wear a tighter vest
>...can I give you a call back
>yea bye

Shit, I didn't know /tv/ like the actual good Office.

>>84923848
Now you've gone and done it. There's be about 600 Yanks flooding this thread any minute now

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>CIA... You old slag... It’s the Bane-meister general...
>Is he on the flightplan? He files the flightplans...
>I’m seeing you Sunday aren’t I? - For my sins... How is the plane? She crashed yet? Yeah... Alright, see you then...
*puts down phone*
>It has crashed, I forgot about that.

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>>84918105
>>84918057

>>84923929
fucking hell

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oh wow fucking GOLD

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>He can't take Dr Pavel because that leaves CIA and Bane...
>CIA and Bane together? Bloodbath.
>Yeah, I know. He can't leave Bane with Dr Pavel.
>Er, hello? I'm Bane. Thanks for leaving me with my favourite nuclear physicist.
>I'm saying you can't do that.

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>He's thrown a man out of a plane, what have you done?

>>84924262

This one is great

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>Big Guy came down to answer some things
>The world gathered round, from paupers to kings
>I'll answer your questions, I'll answer them true
>I show you the way, you know what to do

>What is plan and what is flight?
>Big or small, black or white
>Big Guy, he answered, I'm crashing this plane
>I've taken the mask, you can call me Bane

No survivors. So...

>tfw too brainlet to write something funny

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>>84924494
fucking great

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>Under "strengths"...you've just put "Big Guy".
>Yep.
>That's your job though...that's just- no. Bane. I'm sort of looking for your skills within your job, so is there anything else you could have put there?
>Nope.
>Okay...under "weaknesses"...you've put "extremely painful, for you."

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>I suppose I’ve created an atmosphere here where I’m a big guy first, masked man second, and probably Gotham's reckoning third.

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>Oh God. Had a skinful last night. I was out with CIA. Bill Wilson. Had us on an agency flight. ‘El plano did crash’...

Little monkey fellow

>>84923929
kek

best thread on /tv/

I'm posting this to r/4chan

>>84925887
i'll make 5 accounts and downvote all of your posts

>>84925887
ok

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>You're a big guy!
>You're the big guy mate, actually, if any one is...

Automatically reading it in Gevais voice!

>Uzbekistan's a big place for you, and after the fire rises in Uzbekistan I've got Kazakhstan, Nepal, Bhutan, you know, I've got Tibet, Sikkim

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>>84926148
>You know... m- GOTHAM

>>84924835
K E K
E
K

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>ooooh... you're big...

>>84917408
Gone off Rachel have you?

>>84922648
kek

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>You're a big guy
>a.k.a, for you.

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>You don't get to bring friends here, flight plan only.
>What are you doing?
>I'm CIA and I'm calling it in. Get out now or I'll throw you out of the plane, simple as that.
>Is this the flight plan?
>Yeah, do not look at it - right, you're not getting on board, you're both not getting on board.
>Um... CIA, we're having an argument, we need your help.
>Yep, not interested.
>Well listen, cause you can help.
>No, I don't want to help, I haven't got time to help, alright?
>Um, it's about the agency.
>Go on then, quick.
>I was wondering if a big guy, like you, a CIA, could... could you shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane?
>If I was forced to, I could, if it was absolutely necessary. If, uh, if he was crashing my plane.
>If he was crashing it really heard?
>Yeah, if my flight plan was in danger, yeah.
>And do you always imagine doing it face to face with the bloke or could you throw him out from behind?
>Either way is easy.
>Either way. And you could shoot a man from behind?
>Yeah.
>Yeah? Lovely.
>So, you've got Dr. Pavel, and you've called it in, they've discovered your flight plan, and you're standing there with your thumbs on your belt loops, and they've entered your plane, without you knowing?
>No. Cause I'd be ready for them.
>What, you'd just be standing there waiting for them?
>Well no, what's more likely is that I wouldn't be there, if I knew they knew where I was, I'd be hiding, watching the plane, using it as a trap.
>So you'd be using your plane as bait?
>Um, you're how big? 5'9"? And you're getting of pretending CIA's a small guy.
>What?
>Er... what?
>I think she's not in charge here.
>*laughing*

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>>84929387
kek, well done

Baneposting is boring to me but this thread is hilarious

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best thread in ages

>>84914008