>head to the cinema for a lunchtime flick >wonder woman

>>84868073
can't you be original?

>>84868073
You should have brought your falcon

>>84868380
Falcons only count as half a person at my local kinoteque, I have to bring both to get in. Such a scam.

>>84868380
See I just learned this but the point of the falcon is that since it's one of the few animals that you can legally marry (and the only one compact/portable enough to accompany you to the cinema) they're legally obligated to sell you the "couple's ticket" since the federal law went into action.

Just don't forget to bring some falcon chow and pay for the perch or else it could get fussy

>>84868490
You can get a civil partnership with a python, most places will accept that too. You have to avoid more conservative areas though, went to one in the south and they set the mongooses on my snake, poor guy didn't live to see the end of Return of the King.

I just get my mom lol

They let me into Wonder Woman even though I was alone. They let me get through by charging 13.99 for single white male insurance plus tip.

the movie was just ok

>>84868073
HAHAHA I LOVE THIS MEME

Thanks OP, you are a great poster on this board and I'm glad that I get to share this experience with you.

CRAB LEGS! HA HA! WOULDN'T THAT BE SOMETHING!
THIS THREAD IS A REAL HOOT OP

>>84868632
My local kinoplex doesn't have a bloodwarmer and sets the AC to -40C so I can't bring snakes or they'll freeze.

>>84868073
Because you have to be a psychopath to actually go see a movie in theaters these days. Anyone who wants to watch a movie alone just downloads it off the internet. And there are much cheaper ways to get into a girls pants these days. 11.25 is overpaying.

That's why you buy tickets online and then sneak into the theater through the door by the theater showers so no one notices you walking in alone.

I paid for a single ticket but as a straight white male had to get strip searched to make sure I'm not carrying any weapons or sexism.

The search took about 30 minutes and I missed the first 15mins of the movie. Should have just sucked that dick by the ticket counter to pass their stupid 'straight test'.

>>84868106
can the movie industry?

>>84869339
>And there are much cheaper ways to get into a girls pants these days

like having a big black cock, but OP doesn't have that

I brought a 1L pepsi bottle of stolis into Lincoln back in the day. Walked out knowing less about history than I did when I walked in but had a great fucking gas.