>he's got my axe embedded in his central nervous system!

>>84742835
>meats back on the menu boys

How did orcs know what a menu was?

>>84742835
>>84742865
BRAVO HACKSON!

no really, JRR Tolkien wouldnt write something GRRM tier like this.

>>84743005
Tolkien wrote Tom Bombadil. Your argument is invalid.

>>84742835
How did they know what an ax was?

>>84742835
How was this photo taken?

>>84742835
>he doesn't know about Dwarven Medical School

baka OP

Is Middle Earth flat?

>>84743051
it's actually a painting made by a tiny demon sitting inside a box

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Why didnt they just use an eagle to kamakazi with the ring into the the volcano?

>>84743035
dunno if this was bait but it triggered me something fierce, congrats

He read it on the menu

>>84743094
how did the demon know what a box was?

Thankfully it was a deleted scene so that was never shown in theaters

This was Hackson dialogue shitting up an otherwise good script.

The Hobbit was this but 1000x worse

>>84742865
>hes never been to Mordornald's

>>84743035
The Old Forest and The Barrow-Wight chapters are some of the best in LOTR. your opinion is invalid.

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Elves are such smug pieces of shit. They were to cucked to help the fellowship take the ring to mount doom.

>>84742835
anatomical studies are old as fuck
they just didn't know how stuff worked most of the time tho

>>84743169
b-b-but men are weak!

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>>84743202

>>84743169
they were days away from retirement

aint tryin to get involved in dat shit

>>84743169
They should have only barely been in the movies

Hackson added them to Helm's Deep for some retarded reason.

>itt people nitpick stupid shit

The whole LOTR trilogy was fucking great.

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Why didn't they just drive to mount doom?

>>84743285
*eagles squawk in the distance*

>>84743285
t.filmfag

>>84743104
probs hard finding a suicidal eagle

>>84743304
Road tax was too high.

>>84743317
Kys autist. Why the fuck can someone only enjoy either the book or the movie?

The movies were great, much better than the shit that is churned out yearly now.

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>>84743335
Why not just fly at a really high altitude on an eagle and drop the ring right into mount doom? Would have saved a lot of time and heartache to be honest.

>>84743104
The rings stop you from voluntarily destroying it
Only reason it lost is thanks to gollum

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the clarinet is an 18th century invention requiring fairly modern techniques to manufacture all its parts

Does someone have the drawing of Elrond telling that guy to throw the ring away, the guy refuses, and then the last panel is Elrond saying "I WAS THERE WHEN THE STRENGTH OF MEN FAILED"? Much appreciated.

>>84743306
>hey you know what would be really funny?
>what?
>if we only showed up to help when everything was over anyway

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>>84743383
couldnt you accidentally drop it into the mountain? like slip on a banana peel or something?

Why didn't the Eagles fly them 95% of the way to Mt Doom?

>>84743285
hello r/eddit

>>84743381
what if they missed the drop and it just fell in some orcs hand

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>>84743338

>>84743414
yeah but someone would have to fool you to do that.

>>84743414
Yeah but not by voluntarily doing it
So
You'd have to put a banana peel and then send some grunt on with the ring

>>84743411
frodo and sam would have died on that rock tho

>>84743389
That's not a clarinet you moron.

>>84743443
Use laser guidance

they didn't fly straight to mordor because they weren't leveld up enough
it's basic game mechanics guys they would have got rekt

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>>84743400

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>>84743466
Yeah they wouldn't have died on that rock if the eagles just flew the ring to Mordor in the first place.

>>84743400
here you go buddy

>>84743443
meat would be back on the menu

>>84743435
>I have no argument:The Post

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>>84743511
>>84743532
Thanks lads.

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>dropping a Ring with the ability to think for itself one thousand feet down and hoping it will land at the door, roll down the corridor and fall straight into the lava and commit suicide.

just how fucking good do you think these eagles are?

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>>84743443
thats a good point i never thought that far. how about putting the ring in a dead horse in some random field? I think sauron would have a tough time finding it there.

>>84743553
No one said they were supposed to drop the ring from that high idiot, they could have landed in there.

>>84743561
Right? Or what if they just dropped it into some random stream or river?
Wait...

What if you used it as a cock ring?

>>84742835
He studied ancient greek medicine

>>84743617
you fuck saurons eye

>>84743626
Sorry meant Roman

>Six centuries later, the Roman physician Galen contradicted him, disparaging those "who know nothing of what is to be seen in dissection." Instead he concluded that the brain was the most important organ of the body, with the nerves emanating from it:

"I have shown in my book On the Teachings of Hippocrates and Plato that the source of the nerves, of all sensation, and of voluntary motion is the encephalon [the brain]

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>>84743617
I'm sure Mr. Frodo has thought the same thing. You just know he wanted put that ring on his tiny hobbit dick.

>>84743582
the eagles have to stay high up to avoid getting shot down, dickwad.

>>84743617
i wonder if the ring will change size to accommodate a cock like it does to peoples fingers

>>84743094
>Pratchett reference in a Tolkien thread

Ayyyy

>>84743389
If it wasn't invented until the XVIII century it's good that the dwarf isn't playing a clarinet though. I mean, you even talk about parts when he's playing a solid body flute (dk which kind though)

>>84743673
No one was around Mount Doom, Sauron wouldn't have time to send anyone.

>>84743389
Even if it is a clarinet what the fuck does it matter? Aren't dwarves god tier craftsmen? This isn't earth so who the fuck says they couldn't create one? They create far more impressive mechanisms.

>>84743471
read the book you FUCKING CUNT
READ A FUCKING BOOK FOR ONCE IN YOUR STUPID LIFE
please leave the thread, this board, and my life, while I do my best to forget about you.

Every time a comfy lotr thread comes up, there are always arguments about the fellowships route. But is there someone or something in middle earth that could have got them there faster and have actually done it?

>>84743739
If they were such good craftsmen, why couldn't they craft something that would destroy the ring? Or at least make it permanently inaccessible

Why didn't they just get a plane to Mordor International Airport and go from there?

>>84743416
Aragorn was cracking down on business travel deductibles.

>things like wagons, smelting and working knowledge of mechanical engineering exist
>dont take that extra effort to research internal combustion engines

I mean I'm only meant to suspend my disbelief so much here

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>>84743762
>lose argument

>>84743762
Still not a clarinet.
Looks more like a flute. Maybe a tin whistle.

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>>84743790
Radagast's rabbits

>>84743795
Then there would have been no story...

They should have drilled to the center of the earth and dropped the ring down there

>dont see a single other dwarf in these films

what were they doing all this time?

>>84743815
How would they get visas to fucking Mordor?

>>84743885
getting assraped by that fiery demon and all those orcs

>>84743875
Why didn't they just use wereworms to dig beneath the mountains of Mordor until they reached Mount Doom from underneath?

>>84743795
>Or at least make it permanently inaccessible
the point wasnt denying sauron the ring, the point was to kill sauron once and for all before he destroyed the world. he could have done that without the ring. like seriously did you fucking watch the movie? they barely survived the assault on gondor and were still outnumbered 100 to 1 at the gates of mordor. if they didnt kill sauron right then, they would have all died

>>84743897
Apply at the Gondorian embassy, duh

>>84743885
Mining. That's like their whole thing.
That and getting fucked up by goblins.

>>84743885
fighting against all of saurons northern army

>>84743949
No amount of diplomatic visa will prevent an orc ambassador for getting his shit pushed in the moment he steps in Gondor.

Why didnt they have gandalf use his magic to shot it into space. it would just keep floating away with nothing to stop its momentum forever, sauron would never be able to catch up and get it

>>84743739
Dwarves are good at carving rock and making basic metals, they're nowhere near complex enough to have intricate manufacturing abilities.

>>84743833
I haven't lost anything. In the book ("The Hobbit"), both Bifur and Bombur play clarinets. Obviously this didn't make the full transition to the screen either for budget reasons or because Jackson is a complete hack. But obviously the flute seen in Bifur's hand is meant to represent his clarinet as used in the books.

>>84743836
It's meant to represent a clarinet. But they shouldn't have clarinets, as they lack the intricate crafting abilities to produce the complicated parts behind a clarinet. It would be like the dwarves carrying automatic handguns.

>>84742865
Do they put the tax on the menu next to the item or is it only calculated when you get the bill

>>84743668
What is this?

>>84744012
This. Aragorn literally murdered an ambassador of Sauron with impunity.

Why didn't the Elves just take the ring with them to the Grey Havens?

>>84744019

Because then we wouldn't be able to whine and argue about it

>>84744034
Whats with the lies and disinfo elf boy? Don't you have some kinslaying to do?

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>>84744019
Why didn't they just have Gandalf teleport to Mount Doom and drop the Ring there?

>>84744034
>It's meant to represent a clarinet

Then Jackson doesn't have a fucking clue what a clarinet looks like.

>>84744047
tax is included, tip is extra.

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>>84744077
Smug pieces of shit.

>>84744099
Who would win between Voldemort and Gandalf?

>>84744120
Voldemort EASILY. Even Harry can probably fuck Gandalf up.

>>84744108
Jackson doesn't have a fucking clue what a hobbit, elf, dwarf, dragon or orc look like, why would he know what a clarinet looks like?

>>84744034
Trying to represent a clarinet doesn't make it a clarinet.

>>84743306
*decodes it with The Force®*
"I just knew"

>>84744150
Then why did Voldemort get killed by brittish teenager?

>>84744150
But who would win between Voldemort and Ancalagon the big guy?

>>84744019
sauron would live forever. lotr happens in the past. eventually he would live so long that rockets and space ships get developed. he would use magic+science combo to locate the ring

>>84744155
I don't know, but he's got to know something man. Anything.

>>84742865
Best taverns are found in mordor, everyone knows this.

>>84744051
its like a digital storyboard.its used for composing scenes and have some form of preview. its also used as a place holder for extensive CGI scenes that will be added in post production.

I got a question, what would happen if sauron actually got the ring back? I mean after hes immortal and rules all of middle earth, then what? Whats next? Would he get bored eventually?

>>84744190
luck

>>84744197
Probably still Voldemort.

>>84743416
The eye would have seen them from faaar away. Also taxes.

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>>84743104
>Be me
>Huge lotr nerd

Because Manwe is the master of the eagles and the ultimate will of Illuvatar is to have Middle Earth destroyed along with all the mortal realms so he can recreate his universe in the Second Song. So in a way , letting the Maia Sauron have control over middle earth means literally nothing , Sauron is only doing so to spite the Valar, who he could never hope to conquer even if he took all of middle earth. He tried to have Valinor conquered before and it failed miserably, leading to the downfall of the Numenorians, and he had far more power back then.

All that considered, the ring of power literally doesn't matter to the gods of arda. Plus who the fuck wants to save the Noldor anyways

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>>84743153
Kek

>>84744332
How would Sauron even use the Ring? he's a giant eye.

>>84744332
a series of tax reforms and executive policies that cripple the middle and lower classes while giving massive breaks to the wealthiest 1% of Middle Earth.

>>84744332
Then he would probably try to amass an army to conquer Valinor. Then he would get his shit pushed in by the Valar. The orc army he summoned to conquer Mina's Tirith couldn't even get past ten thousand ghost soldiers, so he has no hopes of ever getting out of middle earth successfully.

>>84743795
Being really good doesn't necessarily mean being better than a god.

>>84744424
sounds like the orcs that loyally fought for him would be pretty screwed

>>84744019
Random space debris would hit it back to middle earth or something. The ring fucking finds a way.

>>84744570
he could cast a warding spell on the ring to avoid all space debris before shooting it into space

>>84744150
Not so sure, Gandalf has a lot of unreleased power. Also he respawns.

>>84744549
They are a race of elves who were tortured and warped by Melkor in the dungeons of Utumno, they are pretty fucked already desu

>>84744424
>to the wealthiest 1% of Middle Earth

So Frodo?

>>84743035
ask me how i know you're a disgusting pleb!

>>84744632
what power? the only thing he ever did was make his staff light up. He used it as a blunt weapon or drew a sword more than he eve used magic, what gives? Then witch king btfo his staff anyway

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>>84743885
Sauron sends all those armies of Easterlings you see in the second movie entering the Black Gate to siege them, which is why neither the Easterlings or Dwarves appear in the third film.

>>84744632
>lot of unreleased power

Which we've never seen.

And he only respawns after a while. HP wizards would still beat him easily.

>>84744549
what do orcs and goblins do when there's no war on anyway?

>>84744019
>shoot it straight to melkor
AH YES ANON
GREAT PLAN

>>84744720
He also lit pinecones on fire that one time.

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bought 3 tolkien books the other day so I can participate in discussions. see you guys in a few months

>>84744734
i dunno. i do know they like meat, so theyd probably barbeque a lot

>>84744155
What's wrong with how his hobbits, elfs, etc look???

>>84743087
it's based of the real world, so yes.

>>84744734
reform their tax policies

>>84743035
Tom Bambadil is more interesting than anything Martin has ever dreamed of

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>>84743389
>>84743471
>>84743493
>>84743762
>>84743153
from comfy to shitposting; i have never been to a lotr thread and not enjoyed reading through the posts

hats off to all you glorious bastards

Why did only 3 hobbits get to use the ring?

>>84744728
>HP wizards would still beat him easily.

The wizards in lotr are actually low ranking and immortal gods. Sauron is actually of the same race as Gandalf (maiar), that is how much power Gandalf has.

>>84744034
Have you read the books at all? They literally mention several times that the Dwarves are excellent craftsmen

>>84744793
His hobbits should be fatter and squatter
His elves should be beautiful and not 99% blonde
His dwarves should look like warriors not hick lumberjacks
His dragons should have four legs and one pair of wings
His orcs should be big and bulky, not average athletic black men
He fucked up the Trolls in LOTR and made them retarded animals and then had to do the Troll scene in the Hobbit where they talk to each other and that was a fucking mess

>>84744887
>and I tippity tip my hat to you good sir ;3

>>84744910
if they were so good why couldnt they craft an opposite ring to saurons and become unstoppable with it?

>>84744780
You need the silmarillion and the book of lost tales to be a fully qualified tolkienbro

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>>84744899
Tolkien had a soft spot for manlets

>>84744780
Kek, have fun reading about Turin Turambar.

>There are people out there who think that Tolkein wasn't grimdark as fuck

Kek.

>>84744940
Literally because Dwarves don't have magical abilities

>>84744965
>saying kek

Go back to pol you racist jerk. Take your frog memes with you.

>>84744734
Get fat, drown in alcohol and kill themselves.

>>84744910
Being good at carving stone and making weapons and armor does not automatically mean they have the means or ability for fine machinery.

>>84745009
So I guess they weren't all that good after all, huh?

>>84744924
>His elves should be beautiful and not 99% blonde

Nigger, most of the elves were blond. Jackson nailed most of the depictions from the books.

>Dwarves look like hick lumberjacks

Urbanite moron detected. Did you just not see the films? There are many depictions if the dwarves that vary by what clan they are and Tolkien left much of the depictions up to the readers imagination only giving broad general descriptions of their character.

>>84744940
that is literally the plot of Shadows of Mordor 2

>>84745014
0/10 , lowest tier b8

>>84744924
This is all literally pretty fucking minor differences and really come down to how you yourself picture them in your head. And I don't get what you are saying about the dragons. Did Smaug not walk in 4 legs and have one pair of wings??


not to mention the fact that not ALL dragons fit that description, they were just the most common type

>>84743285
I tried rewatching Fellowship of the Ring and good god the action scenes are awful.

>>84745034
What about Sauron? he forged shit that drove the world mad, surely he could could craft a clarinet.

>>84744887
hahahahaha remember to post on le reddit and upvote hahahahaha

>>84743829
Saruman and Sauron were the assistants of Aule the Smith, one of the Valar (basically minor gods or archangels). They got corrupted because Smithing usually is a pretty industrial job and gold is literally corrupted by Satan in LOTR.

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>>84745066
>Very tall [Galadriel and Celeborn] were, and the Lady no less tall than the Lord; and they were grave and beautiful. They were clad wholly in white; and the hair of the Lady was of deep gold… but no sign of age was upon them, unless it were in the depths of their eyes; for these were keen as lances in the starlight, and yet profound, the wells of deep memory.

Get me the most generic, high-school-PTA-mom-looking white bitch you got. Good, now throw a platinum wig on her. Done

-t. Peter Jackson

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>>84743668
>that file name

>>84745034
They aren't just fucking good at it. They are literally described as some of the best craftsmen. Their cities get described as literal marvels showcasing their craftsmanship. They made everything from weapons and armor to jewelry. I don't know how it's so hard to believe they couldn't craft some more advanced components.

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>>84744940
>crafting items to oppose or rival gods in power

yeah, that always works out well

unrelated, will the dwemer ever return to Elder Scrolls or are they gone forever? A game about their sudden return would be really cool.

>>84744019
He didn't need the ring to win. It would have soldified his rule, but he didn't need it. He put so much of his own power into the ring that destroying it caused him become less than a ghost.

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>>84745150
>what is a wyvern

>>84745183
you know i will lmao ;^)

>>84745303
>wanting even more lore rape

>>84745303
nah, they done fucked up mate. the last dwemer is a fat fuck dying of corprus in a shitty damp cave.

>>84745252
FUCK. YOU! cate was perfect for galadriel and there is literally no other actress who could have played her

>>84745252
...huh. You know, there's nothing in that description that precludes Galadriel or Celeborn from being played by a PoC.

>>84745252
She unironically made me unconfortable when I read the book, it was a while ago and I don't remember the details, but the feeling of unease stayed.

Jackson turned her into a jump scare bitch.

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>>84743153
*sigh*

fuck you and your shitty post for making me laugh. have an upvote

>>84745405
It said they were beautiful

>>84744332
Probably conquer Middle Earth. Try not the sail to Valinor until Saruman or the Blue Wizards are under his heel. He's also basically OCD/ autistic so probably make sure every soldier has some snazzy uniforms and try to make some Eugenics babies and then try to save Melkor

>>84745252
I literally dont understand what you are trying to point out here. She literally fits the description well and if anything shows that Jackson did look into the source material when casting.

>>84745335
>hurr muh wyvern/dragon distinction

Just fucking stop. You are really just grasping for straws now.

>>84745303
the Dwemer accidentally wrote themselves out of existence, there's nowhere for them to return from.

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>>84743306

>>84745066
Why do you shitposters lie so badly? The only Elves that were mostly blond were the Vanyar, who are not even in Middle-earth. Most elves in Middle-earth have dark hair.

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>And far away, as Frodo put on the Ring and claimed it for his own, even in Sammath Naur the very heart of his realm, the Power in Barad-dur was shaken, and the Tower trembled from its foundations to its proud and bitter crown. The Dark Lord was suddenly aware of him, and his Eye piercing all shadows looked across the plain to the door that he had made; and the magnitude of his own folly was revealed to him in a blinding flash, and all the devices of his enemies were at last laid bare.

no matter how many times i read this, it always sends a shiver down my spine

>>84744347

The ring may not matter to them but their servants do.

Manwe would want the ring destroyed because if Sauron takes over middle earth the eagles are just as fucked as everyone else.

Some nerd unironically tried to use that argument on me a few years ago and I broke my foot off in his ass.

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>>84745385
>tfw

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>>84745393
>there is literally no other actress who could have played her

you mean there WAS no other actress. Jackson fucked up and made the movies a decade early.

>>84745377
>>84745385
i just thought it could be a cool segueway into crazy multidimensional/cosmic/various daedra realm/ fantasy travel

going to akavir would be really cool but that shit aint happening

most likely itll be high elf area or blackmarsh, which honestly could be cool too

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>>84743035
>m-muh bombadil

>>84745504
simply e*ic

>>84745542
>hurr I want muh loli looking elf

Fucking no. That would be such a shit tier casting. Jesus Christ.

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>>84743087
It was, before the Fall of Numenor, when the world was made round to stop Men from sailing to the Undying Lands. The Elven ships at the end of the trilogy sail straight forward instead of following the curvature of the Earth.

>>84745545
I think it could be Hammerfell. After the Nord rebellion in Skyrim, the Redguards are the last remaining independent state fighting against both the Empire and the Aldmeri Dominion.

>>84745671
Ugh. A game in which 99% of npcs are black.

>>84745470
Why do you shit posters like so badly? Remember when Gimli was about to orgasm receiving a fee of Galadriel's golden hairs in Lothlorien. She is a Ndor you dip, all the elves have varying blond, silver, and deep brunette hair.

Tolkien is a terrible writer. Anyone who reads will tell you that.

>>84745630
>loli
she's 19, and Tolkien's description says "no sign of age was upon them, unless it were in the depths of their eyes", which doesn't ring true with the bleached skeleton looking, bitchy neighbor who yells at you for stepping on her lawn looking, pushes her yappy dogs around in a stroller looking, washed up old bitch that is cate blanchett

>>84745671
that would be boring as shit tho, we all know they can't into scale and thats the only way to make the almderi war interesting

plus are they actually fighting against the empire? I thought they just left and the empire did fuckall about it after declaring peace with the thalmor.

>>84745744
That sounds like something Trump would post on twitter.

>>84743885
You see a bunch with Gimli at the council.

>>84745724
>She is a Ndor you dip
Last post you get you fucking worthless troll. Her grandmother was a Vanyar, that's where she gets her blond hair from, which is so fucking rare among Noldor that her name is literally a reference to it.

>>84745803
no you dont

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>>84745542
Lets cast this pie faced whore instead. Stop embarrassing yourself you could have atleast opted for rice and kept some of your dignity

>>84743317
>He doesn't have deep respect for the novel AND the movies
Both are monumental pieces of art that will be remembered for centuries.

>>84745744
The Hobbit is a good read. LOTR's prose is heavily stylised, and thus a slog at times, but still a masterful work

>>84745521
The eagles aren't affected by Middle Earth, they have free access into Valinor. The ring only had power over the lesser rings which Celimbrimbor and Sauron crafted, which is how Sauron wanted to infiltrate the tanks of the elves and become their Lords. The Eagles would also not be affected by this, especially since the remaining few rings of power are hidden away from Sauron's influence. The ring itself isn't the power, mind you, the ring is a part of Sauron's ethereal soul.

>>84745747
I knew that's what you were fucking bitching about. That's what I mean. You want "muh loli who looks really young"

First of all she doesn't really show that many signs of age. Secondly if you make one of the oldest Elves look like a child you then set precedent and must make the rest of the Elves look like fucking children. Thirdly it would be pretty jarring to have one of the wisest and most powerful elves look like a little child. Blanchett fit the bill perfectly.

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>>84744389
What?

>>84745744
I read... I've read all the greeks and all the other books that usually top peoples "must read" list and i can tell you you're wrong

>>84745852
The Noldor have mixed with other elven folk, just like all the others so yes there are blonds among the Noldor. They are majority brunette , while the royal classes tend to have silver hair you sperg moron.

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>>84745897
>the tanks of the elves

>>84745874
>>84745946
Ok ill admit that it might be a worthwhile read and that he can story tell and world build if nothing else but he isn't a prose writer.

>>84745991
>silver hair
literally no elf in all of tolkien is described as having silver hair. The ones that are blonde have golden hair, and then there are the brunettes.

>>84745777
Healthy young hobbit goes to river, gets pump with massive dose of many dark magics, doesn't feel good and changes - AUTISM. Many such cases!

>>84745542
this thing grosses me out

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>>84744924
>His elves should be beautiful and not 99% blonde

Two things you Tumblr faggot,

>99% blond

Where are you even getting that from you lying piece of trash?

Second of all

>Implying blond isn't beautiful

Negro detected

>>84746046
Celeborn's name literally means tall silver haired guy. Silver hair is a quality found among the Teleri/Sindar (NOT Noldor) nobility.

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>>84743668
Jesus christ I heard that the CGI was bad , but I didnt realize that it was THAT bad.

>>84745852
>that her name is literally a reference to it.

Her name isn't a reference to blond hair, it is a reference to her having a light filled aura around her at all times.

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>>84745747
>I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!

Jesus christ. LOTR threads always reveal which cunts haven't actually read the books.

>>84745930
She's not a "loli". She's 19 and looks 19.

>First of all she doesn't really show that many signs of age.
She's got Gates McFadden syndrome, she's looked 50 years old since she was 20.

> if you make one of the oldest Elves look like a child you then set precedent and must make the rest of the Elves look like fucking children
She doesn't look like a child, and there's nothing that says Galadriel can't look younger than other elves.

>it would be pretty jarring to have one of the wisest and most powerful elves look like a little child
Again, not a child, a young woman.

>Blanchett fit the bill perfectly
If you were casting for wax dummy or department store mannequin, she'd be perfect, but her throws-her-coffee-back-at-the-barista-for-having-too-little-foam looking, can-i-speak-to-your-manager looking ass does not fit the bill.

>>84742835
>uruk-hai is visibly twichting
>he's got my axe embedded in his central nervous system!
>I like the way it tickles my balls

How did he get away with that?

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>>84743087

>>84745859
Yes.

There are two more dwarfs in that scene. They appear by surprise in the council and at the end of the movie are captured by the orcs.

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>>84746209
>If you were casting for wax dummy or department store mannequin, she'd be perfect, but her throws-her-coffee-back-at-the-barista-for-having-too-little-foam looking, can-i-speak-to-your-manager looking ass does not fit the bill.

I sense the presence of a wigger

>>84746209
She literally does look like a child. Doesn't look 19 at all

>>84746152
Celeborn means Silver Tree. His real name is Teleporno though.

>>84746278
I just watched the movie and there was only Gimli there. I didnt see any other dwarfs. Was this the extended edition?

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>>84746313
Look on the right , this is the council of elrond scene

>>84746302
Done with you fucking worthless shitposters.

> In my father's latest philological writings, however, the meaning "Silver Tree" was abandoned: the second element of Celeborn (as the name of a person) was derived from the ancient adjectival formornā "uprising, tall," rather than from the related noun ornē "tree."

>>84746368
Ok i was wrong. Too bad they didnt have dialog or anything. Were they elder dwarfs or something?

>>84746019
Prose in what sense? because again i think you're wrong. Tolkien is definitely a master of the more traditional forms of prose.

The only valid criticism that can be levelled at tolkien is that his characterisations are weak

>>84746371
>Had to furiously Google this for s few minutes
>Calls us shitposters

Topkek, look at this faggot and laugh.

>>84746426
Anon why don't you rewatch the movies
Gimli's dad talk about how they're here to check up on the expedition to moria

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>>84744332

A series of democratic and economic reforms establishing a system closer to true democracy than had been tried before, and introducing limits on property ownership but providing all citizens with dividends from middle earths valuable ent-wood exports, including a universal basic income for the unemployed, equivalent to the average salary for someone in they profession they are most experience/qualified in, and payments to support young families buying houses and carts. Also, bombing discotheques in Valinor.

>>84746470
I never saw the extended edition. I gotta now.

>>84744960
>5 '9
>in 1920
Literally a giant

>>84745744
*Tolkien is a terrible writer. Anyone who reads novels by such great authors such as GRRM, Brandon Sanderson and Suzanne Collins will yell you that.

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Good thing sersha was never cast for the hobbit. She's perfect to play luthien.

>>84746019
go back to /lit/ you pretentious faggot, or better yet, actually read

>>84746371
>Christopher Tolkien
>Canon

Uhhh, I don't think so buddy.

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>>84745066
>>84745724
What are you even on about? Most Tolkien elves have dark hair.

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>>84746546
I don't think Luthien looked like a fat hobbit with a potato for a face.

>>84743035

Tom Bombadil confirmed for pleb filter.

>>84746780
What even is he anyway?
From what I understand he could very well get rid of the ring but just doesn't feel like it?

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>>84746696
Only the shit tier ones like feanor. Note fingolfin had golden curls and was best elf

Why didn't the eagles just fly themselves out of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the plucky Hobbits and their pals from Bag End as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Jackson vetoed the idea of del Toro directing the Hobbit series; he made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for Christopher Tolkien's books. The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit series might be anti-Christian (or not), but they're certainly the anti-Harry Potter series in their refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the books were terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the entire book happened.
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time this was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope four times. I was incredulous. Tolkien's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Lord of the Rings by the same George R.R. Martin. He wrote something to the effect of, "What was Aragorn’s tax policy?" And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "The Lord of the Rings" you are, in fact, trained to read George R.R. Martin.

>>84746844
Meme character. Tolkien created him just to troll fans.

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>>84746765
Name one actress that can play luthien who is aesthetically more suited than sersha you meme loving cuck

>>84746950
So kinda like Daenerys.

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>>84746959
Billie Lourd
Alice Eve
Brit Marling

>>84747013
>comparing tolkien characters to fat pink masts
please do not

>>84746254
I've been fucking looking for this picture for years. Years. But where is the "Why didn't they just..." phrase?

>>84745504
Why didn't Sauron just seal Mt Doom's door?

>>84744887
you're talking like those ones and not these ones i'm going to call you on it because tim gto a brain tummtumorr

>>84746844
Tom Bombadil's true nature is never written, it's possible nobody knows. Most of the evidence points to him and Goldberry being some sort of manifestation or spirits of the world itself.

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>>84747122
>looking for it for years
>when it's literally posted in any other LOTR thread

Just how new are you?

>>84747124
*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

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>>84747047
Oh sweet jesus you're serious...

>Billie Lourd
Looks like she sleeps rough and has a chav gormless face

>Alice Eve
Too old and has let herself go also her face is to manly and unfeminine

>Brit Marling
Decent attempt but too old and she has a resting sleepy face

>>84747183
If that's what he is, how come he doesn't care about Sauron fuckign his shit up?

>>84747279
Because a planet doesn't "care" about anything, it's just a collection of forces and material. It doesn't have a sense of self-preservation.

>>84747183
Goldberry is a (river) nymph that bombadil trapped and forced into marriage. Bombadil i think is more than just a nature spirit

WAY too many finns itt

>>84747276
kys potatocuck, you have shit taste

>>84747370
he care enough about dicking around in the forest to take human form.

>>84747380
>Bombadil i think is more than just a nature spirit

He's a literal rapist

>>84744724
How did their battle go?

>>84747276
>TOO OLD
>TOO OLD
>TOO OLD

Jesus christ

>>84742835
Wizards

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>>84743051
toppest of jej's

Who do we cast as Beren?

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What's with the guy on the right? What's his problem?

>>84747644
BAIN's son Brand of Dale and DAIN died at the battle but they destroyed the entire army and won.

>>84747223
It was never. Trust me.

>>84747122
It's right there newfriend. You probably masturbate so much ur eyes don't work. or its the transparent background.

>>84747782
>nazi helmet

I know somehow the LOTR universe takes place far into the future of the human world

>>84745724
>he does not know the lieneage of the house of Finwe

Children of Feanor and Fingolfin were dark haired, only the offsprings of Finarfin were blonde

>>84747801
It's posted all the time retard

>>84743668
This fight scene with Legolas on the river is one of my favourite fight scenes in history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nM7byUTrSZA

>>84747851
What extension of WoW is this

>>84745991
Nice headcanon you faggot.

> the royal classes tend to have silver hair

How about Elrond, Feanor etc. who are all descriped with dark hair

>>84743285
they are boring.

>>84746892
>Note fingolfin had golden curls
Why do you shitposters lie so badly? Fingolfin is explicitly said to look like his father.

>fantasy universe where there are dragons and ghosts
>they still eat mashed potatoes

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>>84746765
still posting old pics? baby's first attempt to make a meme?

>>84746892
but he didn't, that pic is fucking wrong

>>84747978
How did they get potatoes in Middle Earth? potatoes are native to America.

>>84747824
Celiborn is silver haired along with plenty of other elves

http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Elven_Characteristics

Ctr+f "Hair colour"

>>84747978
Mashed potatoes are fucking good though

>>84743039
Do Americans really spell it as ax and not axe? Bizarre.

>>84748343
Well, I spell it "axe". I don't know about anyone else.

>>84745297
Making a beautiful and sharp axe or a fine dining hall doesn't mean you can build a helicopter.

>>84748418
The thing is they aren't just limited to making weapons and carving out rooms.

>>84742835

>>did I hit his central nervous system?
>>roll intelligence check
>>success
>>you hit his central nervous system

>>84745303
>wanting to crawl through another 100 cookie cutter dwemer "dungeons" in Valenwood

no thanks

>>84747506
Elaborate on this

>>84747851
I could not conceive of a more reddit fucking opinion to have

jesus christ, dude

>>84748875
What's to elaborate? he kidnapped Goldberry, brainwashed her and forced her to marry him. This is plain rape.

>>84747782
His tax returns had been seized to help finance the Gondorian campaign.

>>84747851
>those fucking awful CGI barrel animations

Holy crap.

>>84748480
Apparently? Seems all the fancy stuff they make is just in materials they stumble upon and then learn to shape. Mithril for example.

I'm open for corrections if I'm wrong.

>>84747782
watched too much Gilbert Gottfried

>>84748875
>Tom watches goldberry lounging by the river
>goldberry notices and dives into the river
>tom goes in to look
>goldberry pulls him into the river
>tom is pissed of and commands her to let go
>he then commands her to go home with him and later "marries" her

Note that toms cammands are usually a spell written out as a rhyme. Like when he commands old man willow to let the hobbits go and his commands influence everything within his territories

>>84748903

he is attracted to stronk womenz and objectively bad CGI

>>84748203
But Celeborn isn't a Noldo you moron, he belong to Teleri. Even in your link is stated that apart from Vanyar and a few Teleri such as Celeborn and Thingol most elves were dark haired.

Who was the biggest cuck in Middle Earth?

>>84749773
Fingolfin

>>84749773
Maeglin

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>>84743164
>HILDEHOL DA HIDEYHOL
>HILDEHOL DA HIDEYHOL
>HILDEHOL DA HIDEYHOL
>HILDEHOL DA HIDEYHOL

>people actually think this garbage repeated for several pages is good

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>>84749773
Maeglin

>cursed by his dad
>shunned and hated by his secret love
>argue against filthy human from residing in gondolin
>watch filthy human marry your one true love
>make deal with satan to destroy gondolin
>get killed by aforementioned filthy human
>bring to fruition your fathers curse

>>84742835
Which threads have better shitposting? Star Wars prequel threads, LOTR threads, or Bane threads?

>>84749867
George pls go, your work will never be immortal in the same way, but you got to mention cocks and tits and piss and shit a lot, and that's something too you know

>>84749965
>George
Who? Is that the faggot behind game of thrones? Because that is shit too, what's your point?

>>84749990
That you're a pleb... i thought that was clear

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>>84749956
I hesitate to call Bane threads shitposting. They're really more of an art form at this point.

What the fuck is Goldberry anyway? Some kind of dryad?

>>84750010
Not an argument. Just admit you're a faggot that likes to watch a manlet prance around singing.

>>84750061
Yes. A river/water nymph/ dryad to be precise

She has power over the weather and some influence over abstact concepts

>>84748343
Ax is how niggers pronounce ask.

>>84742835
>>84742865
the men/orcs/dwarves/elves are never actually speaking english ever. They qre speaking whatever middle-earth language in actuality. albiet they are portrayed as speaking english for the sake of the audience. gimli likely actually said something roughly the equivalent of a nervous system. same for the orc and the menu.

>>84744720
gandalf is literally an angelic, immortal being sent from god