ITT: times you acted like the joker >stranger holds a door

Jesus Christ... Why are you still doing this?

>>84740374
>accidentally walk in on older sister while she's changing
>she screams at me to get out, instead of apologising I wink and comment "nice ass" before leaving

LOCK ME UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY

>>84740400
>enters a thread he could have easily ignored just to shit post
>gets doubles

SOMEBODY STOP THIS MADMAN

These threads are always so cringey

>>84740374
>Mom tells me to take out the trash before bed
>I sleep instead and wake up early to take it out before the garbagemen come

HOW IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?

>>84740464
Thats the point

>get my usual burger combo at mcdonald's
>it's the middle of the day, sun's high in the sky
>i tell server to "have a nice night" after i get my food and i'm leaving

I'M TAP-DANCING MAD AND OFF THE RAILS

reddit

>see a Joker thread
>post a meta reply
>don't even sage

HONKA HONKA

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>go to 4chan board
>bring down the level of general discourse with inane bullshit and forced memetic content

MOM'S GONNA FREAK

>went to see Suicide Squad with my mom

needless to say, she freaked

>waitress says have a nice day
>go home and browse 4chan instead

GIVE ME THE STRAIGHT JACKET

>>84740750
>implying /tv/ has any level of discourse above dogshit after /pol/ invaded

PSYCHO GROUPIE COCAINE CRAZY

>make daily manlet hate threads
>5'11
MOM'S GONNA FREAK

Okay hold on what was this "Jared Leto preparing for a role to the point that he would lock himself in his trailer and going borderland crazy IRL" when in the movie he had like one and a half minutes of movie time? Was he like the one who cared really cared about this shitty cape flick?

Cara was a qt in it

>>84740464
Do you have autism?

>working at some fast food restaurant
>absolutely love my job
>decide to throw some pranks out on customers
>all in good fun
>guy comes in sweating from the heat outside
>asks if he can have a couple of ice cubes in his drink
>not the norm but what the hell
>come back with the drink snickering to myself
>he takes a sip and I burst out laughing
>he grabs me violently and shouts at me
>WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DRINK
>tell him behind fits of laughter that he asked for a couple of ice cubes and I only put in one

INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

This reminded me of my old boxing days

>trained as an early professional prospect boxer
>honed my skills 24/7 literally
>ate lightning crapped thunder
>was literally compared to Mike Tyson
>if Iron Mike could dish out 5-6 combinations in a second, I could do 7
>there were people who said I had the potential to even best prime kid dynamite on a good day
>when I say I could kill people with my barehands, I LITERALLY mean I could kill you with a basic combo of 1-2
>be one night walking home
>always have to pass this dark alley where a homeless huge ass nigger squats
>as I passed him he stood up
>my fighting instincts know whats about to happen
>I could feel my adrenaline pumping, my muscles tensing, my mind vigilant and my breathing heavy
>I knew it was time to fucking show my skills on the streets
>literally felt like Achilles
>"Why kill you now, Prince of Troy, with no-one here to see you fall?"
>combo of 7-5-6-5 repeated all over my mind, one, two, three.. fifteen times
>Nigger started to whisper "hey man, I dont want no trouble, just give me your phone and wallet, I dont want to hurt you"
>turn around with a smirk on my face
>see he has a knife
>implying
>with a grin, I said to this behemoth "Lets see how you fare against a marine"
>sad look on the nigger's face, probably scared
>Ape then patted me on the back mumbling "temper fly, brother'" then started laying down on his usual spot
>as if I know nigger speak
>mfw I talk-no-jutsu this weird ass faggot
>mfw I dont even marines
>fucking called the cops on that pussy
>never saw that pathetic squatter ever again

>>84741329
> "temper fly, brother'"

Lost it

>>84741284
I understood that reference

>someone makes a thread about a movie/show i dont like
>call them reddit
SOMEBODY STOP ME

>>84740374
>teacher hands me a test
> On the "Date:" line, I write "No thanks, I'm taken"
MOMS
GONNA
FREAK

>>84741915
Get out

>>84741329
>temper fly

Fug

>I WOULDNT DO THAT IF I WERE YOU
>[/spoiler]i do it[/spoiler]

>go to store
>buy something
>they tell me to have a nice day
>i don't

I WALK THIS LONELY ROAD

> video store sign says "be kind, rewind"
> I don't rewind
LEAVE DOING THE BONEY MARONEY

>asked the boss for half a day of, because I was waiting for a package
>Received the package the day before

STOP IT, STOP THIS MADNESS

>buy popcorn
>don't put butter on it

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

>>84740374
>cute girl becomes my therapist
>I make her fall in love with me
OH AH AH AH AH!

>take a piss in a public bathroom stall instead of the trough
>don't flush

DESPITE ALL MY RAGE

>walk across sidewalk
>intentionally step only on asphalt instead of the painted lines

WHEN I DIE AND THE LAY ME TO REST

>>84743149
That's just nigger tier

>>84742158
>rewind

?

why does it matter where you are on the player program? it doesn't affect the Blu-Ray.

>doctor tells me to stop eating so many hot dogs because I'm developing a heart condition
>tell him i will, the doctor and my family are proud I'm making life changes
>the next day I start eating my hot dogs without microwaving them, making them cold dogs

COME BREAK ME DOWN

>eat a banana
>eat the seed too

A YOUNG BOY

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>>84743299
How's middle school champ?

>crack open beer
>don't say "yup"
GOING TO THE COUNTRY GONNA EAT ME A LOT OF PEACHES

>never do homework
>still get a B in math

BLACK HOLE SUN

>go for a pee in a public toilet
>no sign telling me to wash my hands
>wash them anyway

INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

>Do laundry
>Whites and colors in the same load

IT AINT ME

>>84743927
Wait what? People actually separate the whites and colors in laundry? I always mix them, they are laundry not people

I ate a baby deer alive.

>automated announcement on the subway tells me to "watch your step when disembarking"
>in fact, I do not "watch my step" at all

MOTHER WILL BE EMOTIONALLY DISTRAUGHT

>>84740374
>O
MY

>say how black men are sexually superior to white boiz on 4chan
>Am actually a Japanese man
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

>create meme thread
>bump over 10 times to make my meme seem alive
I'LL BE STANDING TALL WITH THE WASTED AND WOUNDED

>MASSIVE HAIR-LOSS
>CONVINCE MYSELF THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE

>>84744420
But it's true....

>>84740464

Way to crack the case

>pretend my 'w' key is broken when I post but it really isn't

THE ORLD IS A VAMPIRE

>>84744005
I see that post there, you think you could get forgiven for admitting it but didn't really want people to notice it, but I did

at least you're not a brony

>>84744553
>anon was pretending his 'w' key was broken but still typed "'w'"

HA HA, JOKE'S ON YOU BATMAN!!!