How do you deal with groups of obnoxious loud people at the movies.

https://youtu.be/61iZXRCAL6s

>>84644891
Man the fuck up.

>in my seat with my girl at the oriental in milwaukee for napoleon dynamite
>fucking faggots from the suburbs in the row behind me will not shut the fuck up
>casually lean back and say
Shut your fucking mouths.
>one teenage cunt snorts with contemptuous disbelief
>another somehow has the nerve to say
Dude, fucking relax.
>so i turn and grab the fucking faggot by the throat
>and i tell him
If I hear another sound from any of you, I'll shove something into your mouth at about 90MpH. It might be my fist, it might be my dick, but whatever it is, I guarantee you you'll never make another fucking sound again, you fucking bitch-made faggot
And then I watched the film in perfect and absolute silence.

>>84644891
shoot them

>>84644962
Are you implying the suburbs of Milwaukee are somehow inferior to the nigger infested shit hole that is Milwaukee?

>>84644891
>pakis
Your fault for living in the Caliphate

>>84644962
But none of this really happend?

>>84644962
epic, simply epic

>>84645045
You sound very sheltered.

>>84644962
Woah im a girl btw

>>84644962
>things that never happened

>going to a theater in the first place

>>84644891
why do these seats look so gay and cheap?

>>84645200
tits or gtfo

>>84644891
I spent a few grand on a movie projector, sound setup and made my own home theater so i dont have to endure the human virus ever again.

>>84646034
I think some really cheap theaters use old airline seats that are modified

>>84644891
I consider the theater a public domain and count myself fortunate if we complete the entire film without any audience interruptions. There are some things you can do to limit the annoyances and hope you get lucky

>don't see a film opening weekend
>see a film a few weeks after release to thin out the casuals
>go during the day on a weekday when kids are in school
>avoid theaters around college campuses
>avoid theaters near the ghetto
>find a theater deep in white suburbia
>medicate yourself

>>84644891
I pull them aside and ask them "what's yer 'ing".

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>>84644891
>that one faggot sitting alone
>that other faggot who acts up when you rest your feet on his headrest
>that guy with his girl who tells you to shut up
>that faggot at the front who doesnt throw the paper plane back when you throw it near him

>Watching Pirates of the Caribbean 5
>Hear loud obnoxious teenagers fucking about
>herewego.wav
>They are sitting three rows off, I can't really turn around and do anything
>No ushers or anything available
>Emotional scene
>They are literally playfighting
Wat do?

the origins of the movie theater are for poor people who couldnt afford televisions. popcorn was also the choice of snack because its all poor people could afford.
anyone still going to the theater in 2017 is effectively a peasant so thats why the theater is full of obnoxious assholes.

>>84644891
Tell them to shut the fuck up or I'll tell the staff about them. Worst case scenario, they don't shut up and the staff doesn't remove them, I still get my money back.

>>84644891
Ask Robert to remove them from the premises so that you can enjoy your crab legs in peace.

>>84644962
Apocryphal: The Post

>>84646494
Who will be the first anon to write the Kinoplex book and make it big as a pulp fiction writer?

I usually just announce that a Popeye's opened around the corner and is giving out free samples.

>>84646574
You could call it "40 Days and 40 Nights at the Kinoplex"

>Only go to the cinema on Sundays, first screening in the morning at 8h30
>Literally only patrician film-lovers in the room
>We congratulate ourselves before the movie begin for being such superior beings
>Spend the entire screening without a single whisper heard
>Feels good

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>>84646592
There has to be a solid novel of material on the archive by now.

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>>84644962
>at about 90MpH

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Kinoposting is inspired, always a delight.

>mfw someone mentions the kinoplex falcons

I haven't been to the movies in eighteen years and I do not plan on returning. Film is dead, and if you disagree you're a fucking retard.

>>84646438
Yeah this happened today. It was a pretty neutral scene and they were chimping out. Then one of then loudly yawns and exclaims that the movie sucks

Have you informed Robert? People like that tend to end up in the popcorn mines.

>>84646724
Theaters are bullshit but they stay in business because of cultural mania and having an almost-exclusive monopoly on day-1 distribution of film.

If you could stream or rent most blockbuster movies on release day I think theaters would go out of business almost overnight. The only ones that survived would be niche ones that serve food or beer or offer other amenities.

Anyone have that stock image of Mike Matei at the movie theater?

It doesn't bother me at all. I just bear it most times, that's not so bad and my take on it is that you're together with strangers watching the same thing and it should be expected to experience reactions from them or you.

The one time it fucking annoyed me (and the entire audience desu) was that one faggot in a full room for a screening of Wild Tales (spanish movie, not bad).
>Queen of the carnival type
>Seating in the seat right next to me
>gasping in surprise at every camera move
>it's even worse when something actually surprising is happening
>15 minutes in
>he's visibly not going to stop weirdly gasping at really inappropriate times just because his fucking bf brought him there
>I'm annoyed but I don't say anything, he's right next to me and it would be awkward as fuck
>two different people told him to shut the fuck up
>answered some entitled shit and didn't stop
>weird gasping in surprise all the way to the end of the movie

I've never seen something so awkward in my whole life, and obviously I wasn't the only one to cringe.

Most times it's quite harmless though.

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>>84646724
In a way it is like a punch to the gut because modern theaters have these incredible displays with intricate sound and well made seats. But there's nothing there I want to see.

>>84647253
i want to snuggle that sharko

>>84647253
There is nothing they have that you could not replicate on a smaller scale with an empty room wired for electric and around $3000

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>>84647362
Then use that same room for your vidya

>>84644891
I don't go to the cinema because I don't understand why I should pay exorbitant fees to sit in a room full of mouth breathing fucktards who'll make it impossible to enjoy the film, when I can just torrent it and watch it in peace at home

>>84645045
>>84645571
Not that anon, but yea that happens. I've been in two situations where a friend was ready to fight people who were acting annoying during a movie.

>>84644962
>bitch-made faggot

Thanks brah, gonna steal this one and save it for later

>going to the movie theater

>>84649568
Yeah you'll be the coolest kid at school for sure now

>>84649699
I know, that's why I'm stealing it.

>>84644962
>go out to watch Napoleon Dynamite
>me, my buddies and some fat autistic fuck with his pillow with a chinese cartoon girl on it at the projection
>talk about shit and stuff before the movie starts
>Fatty McFuck turns around and starts spewing some nonsense bullshit
>tell him to relax
>he tries grabbing me by the throat with his greasy xtra large sausage fingers and starts spewing even more nonsensical gibberish
>Fatty turns back and farts the loudest, wettest fart you can think off
>decide to fuck off before Fatty shits his pants

>>84646356
crazy. i did not know that.

Luckily I live in Finland where nobody talks in public ever.

>>84650216
>nobody talks in public ever
Why? And how do you communicate? Stabbing each other?

>>84650302
Via memes on Lithuanian poetry text boards.

>>84650101
Sheltered.

>>84644891
Does anyone have the videos of the indians chimping out in the theater?

I was at a conference once. This guy and a girl were whispering the whole time, making jokes, etc. Turned around, said "can this conversation wait until this is done?" The guy apologized. Not a word until it ended. inb4 that happened

>>84644891
Some hipster beanpole faggot and his landwhale gf sat in front of me in the middle of the theater one time and kept talking and making out, about 5 min later I kicked his seat very hard and they stopped without ever looking up at me kek