ITT: facts you learnt from television shows. I'll start:

that would not surprise me if it is true

>>84492390
Wait seriously? They way too stereotypical to b etrue.

>>84492442
>>84492441

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCGOFKC7-uY

>>84492390
its not true, it's a joke in a comedy show, buddy

I'm a Jew and can confirm that's true. It's only the case at larger synagogues though, and typically only for the high holidays when everyone shows up (like how tons of Christians only go to church on xmas and Easter, tons of Jews only go to synagogue on Rosh hashanah and Yom Kippur). Typically if you are a member of the synagogue you get the tickets included in that. Afaik churches have paid memberships as well but yeah we're probably the only group autistic enough to issue tickets and assign seats. I grew up in a small town in the south and our synagogue didn't have tickets. When I've lived in larger cities all the synagogues have them though

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>>84492585

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>oy vey goyim! if you don't buy a ticket, you don't love g-d!

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>>84492585
>assigned seating for religious festivities

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>>84492585

>>84492652
it's not for the goyim, just jews jewing jews

>>84492585
>Rosh hashanah and Yom Kippur
>tfw Jewish words for their major holidays are literally copy-pasted from Arabic and jews still pretend they are not arabs

>>84492585
How much are the tickets in the elite Synagogues in NY? Do you ever see famous people at mass? I wish I could be a Jew for a week.

>>84492585
Are synagogues good places to pick up jewtiepies?

>>84493248
Good luck getting past her bodyguard of 6 grandmothers protecting her virginity unless you're a "nice jewish boy".

>>84492749
I can't leave my native board.

>>84493216
I've never lived in NYC, although I did once date an Orthodox girl whose family were moneyed UES denizens. I went to synagogue with her once when we were up there but I didn't meet anyone famous. Although her family was pretty much a /pol/ globalist nightmare personified, they and their friends included Bush NatSec officials, hedge fund managers, and members of the UN and CFR. Membership at a fancy NYC synagogue probably costs as much as membership at a high end country club-- tens of thousands of dollars a year. I'm just guessing though.

>>84493248
Only if you're both Jewish and successful (or on your way to being successful).

>>84493334
I have dark curly hair :3

>>84493449
When do the elder Jews inform the young ones about your plan to destroy the western world?

>>84493703
Well, I am 30 and have yet to receive my invite to the council. Although perhaps because my father isn't Jewish I am excluded from the plans. My Mom is a high-ranking federal official with a red passport and a TS/SCI, so maybe she's in position waiting for the signal.

>>84493771
Is it true that you can utilize your nose in order to find gold?

>>84493836
Actually it's any precious metal. And I can tell the karat weight of a gem by touch.

>>84493771
Not pure/rich enough, lol.

Seriously though I blow mind mind that you have to pay for certain relgionous services, I legit thought only Scientology did that and that was the main reason people hate them (that and the Xenu shit too)

>>84493860
Was the holocaust real? Is it true that Hitler killed 1 billion jews?

>>84493871
As the other anon said, only for the high holidays where everyone goes that you are paying for tickets. You Christians tithe, and temple membership is the same thing to keep the place in business and allow it to do charity work etc. In Los Angeles so of the big Christian churches make people buy tickets for xmas eve and Easter

>>84492390
Sounds quite a Ferengi thing to do to me.

>>84493871
You don't really pay by the service everywhere, the tickets are included with membership. At the synagogue I went to in the small city where I went to undergrad they were free, you just had to request them ahead of time and there were a limited number. In NYC, Chicago, LA, Miami, ATL, etc. though you can expect to pay to attend on the high holidays if you're not a member. And yeah we don't pass a collection plate or tithe like Christians so synagogue membership sorta serves the same function.

>>84493968
Eleventy trillion googleplex Jews.

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>>84492490

I love it when jerks like you get btfo.

>>84494033
The the collection plate stuff is a charitable thing, so you can pay as much or as little as you want or have. even if it funtionally the same. Hoestly it just seems exlusionary to me some how, but from what other people said big chirstian churches in the US do the same thing, so I guess it's more acceptable practice there.

>>84492585
Is the conspiracy real?

>>84494360
>asking a jew the JQ

>>84494272
They do, you can just google it. It's really not a big deal for us, most of us do okay. The only poor Jews I've ever known were ultra-orthodox, and that's because they all get married when they're 18 and have like 10 kids-- and the women don't work so their households are always single income.

>>84494360
Of course it is, you don't think people would just make this shit up do you?

>>84494462
this is now an "ask a jew thread"
are you pro or anti-circumcision

>>84494608
Indifferent, I've never given it much thought.

>>84494462
Have you ever considered taking up acting? I have a feeling you'd fit right in Hollywood.

>>84494753
No I don't like acting, I tried as a kid. I do have some extended family who are involved in the entertainment business, but not as actors. My immediate family are mostly scientists and engineers. I'm a lawyer, and that's okay with me. I have an interesting practice niche (drug regulation).

>>84492442

you don't remeber jesus kicking the money changers from the temple?

>>84494843
What's your stance on certain states legalizing pot while it's still illegal federally?

>>84493041
You must be proud of your australopithecus origins, anon

>>84492585
I went to Vatican once during the Christmas service. Everyone was sitting outside of the church staring at a big monitor. Couldn't see shit. Probably only the elite pedo circle was allowed inside the actual church with the pope doing his pope thing in front of them.

>>84492703
The reason they do this is because in typical Jewish autistic form, where you sit in the synagogue is a reflection of your social standing so some seats are more "honorable" than others. Jesus criticized the Pharisees for being obsessed with who gets to sit in these special seats.

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>>84496991
What's the deal with Ashkenazis?

>>84497143
They don't want too many people in the church, it might damage the sculptures and marble. If you go during regular times, tourists are confined to the pathways and room is left for people to pray.

>>84497200
I know maronites are the same. The front seats are for the richest arabs.

>>84492490
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/14/us/selling-holy-day-tickets-is-dilemma-for-synagogues.html

>>84492467
There's a difference between high holiday service and "a synagogue service"

>>84492390

typically you either pay an annual cost or do this

churches have the collection plate too

>>84493334
why is it that on TV it's totally acceptable to have this "silly (grand)mother" character who just wants his son/daughter to find "a nice jewish boy"?

and it's always written like a simple old fashioned but well meaning goofy character?

imagine a grandfather telling his granddaughter that he wants her to find a white man. there's no way that character would be silly but lovable. he would be a divorced bitter loser kkk unemployed alcoholic.

>>84497412
Now hold on just a minute there anon, are you saying there is a double standard in Hollywood?! I'm shocked, shocked that anyone could believe such a ridiculous conspiracy!!

>>84497384
1 is mandatory

1 is discretionary

stop trying to use your jewish analogies where they aren't applicable

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>>84492585
>I'm a Jew

>>84498013
you know Sam Hyde is actually Ashkenazi for real though

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>>84498084

>>84498084
everyone knows that, he's maximum crypto-jew

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>>84492585

Interesting

>>84494888
based jesus literally ourgy

>>84500257
*our guy

>>84493703
>when you realize this funny post is literally what /pol/ tards believe

i love being racist because i can feel good about myself without actually doing anything beneficial or constructive!

How does the Jewish community avoid paying taxes on their earnings?

>>84498084
I assumed he was irish or someshit but now that you said this he does look like a rabbi in those homeless car videos