>Baby Driver is a 10 EVERYONE is saying this. Like, even

File: Baby_Driver_10.png (245KB, 1043x850px) Image search: [Google]

245KB, 1043x850px

>Baby Driver is a 10

EVERYONE is saying this. Like, even uber-hate-fueled critics. My scientific theory, supported by evidence and nigh-countless trials?

Government Neo-MK-Ultra Psy-Op. There is no movie, just a trailer. Just two hours of flickering lights, stock footage of children sitting on couches, distorted Spiderman animation loops, and a picture of Elsa with the words "FROZEN" flashing at 120fps in different clashing color patterns.

And that creepy Google software that tries to render faces, eyes, and body parts runs over the video in real-time, ensuring the "movie" is never the same no matter how many times you see it.

Also, a bi-neural beat remix of the Lavender Town theme music from Pokemon Red playing on loop, with a Russian Number Station playing sleeper-agent and nuclear activation codes in reverse.

In fact, some say there wasn't really a trailer for Baby Driver, either. Some Ancient Astronaut Theorists contest that your memories of the Baby Driver trailer are actually false memories generated retroactively after seeing the movie. The only people who haven't seen the movie, like me, are actually psychic spies from China trying to steal your mind's elation, or little girls from Sweden dreaming of silver-screen quotations; we just pretend to have seen the trailer, making up a nonsense premise on the spot, which you readily believe every time, no matter how many times we change it.

For instance, last week you all thought Baby Driver was a 3D animated film about a baby who pretends to be normal, but is really a reincarnated Nascar driver who develops a loving bond with his naive older brother who helps him reach the gas pedal.